i love my dh but he just seems so uninterested about all the hsing stuff. is that typical? he wants me to hs and is all for it, but just doesnt seem to get that it is actually work. he acts like it is so darn easy and then if he notices that i am all stressed about the house and other obligations and not getting school done, he says things like" well school has to get done or we will have to put them in ps" like im stupid or something. we have an ok relationship but could use some work in some areas. he always think we need work or just more of, in the intimate areas kwim, but i think we need to also work on the emotional side of things. i told him sometimes i feel soooooooo alone. not physically alone obviously, but just like i have no one to talk to. now i have you guys and that helps! thanks for any advice.
No real advice but I will tell you that my DH has no idea what we do all day. He has no input into our school (by his choice). He obviously can tell what kind of day we've had by how the house looks when he gets home. Generally, he's good about not mentioning the ever growing number of school-like books (or that he recently had to assemble 2 new bookshelves to hold it all). He doesn't ask why I've spent "x" dollars on school supplies/books. He knows I'm way more Type A about their education that he will ever be. All that said, I know that it has to be annoying to come home to a trashed house after he's worked 12 hours but he doesn't complain....but he does come in and start loading the dishwasher as if to signal that it's piling up :lol: He is definitely in favor of homeschooling but doing dishes and earning $ to pay for school supplies is the limit of his involvement in our family's homeschool. I e-mail him before he comes home so he knows to "ohh" and "ahh" over something one of the kids accomplished that day:roll: Hang in there! Rhonda
Handsome isn't involved in the day to day learning. But he is involved in his own way. He is also 100% onboard with homeschooling and doesn't believe that putting Ems in public school is an option. Something to remember is that if you are having some struggles in your marriage, it will spill over into other areas. Since homeschooling is part of the home environment, you are obviously feeling it in this area too. I do not have any advise but can you find a wise women friend you can talk to? Out of curiosity, how long have you been homeschooling?
My dh is kind of just the principal and financial backer. lol. He tries to listen when I ramble about hs but i know he doesn't get it. But he does say 'get whatever you need' or 'whatever you think is best'. He only steps in and fusses whenever there is something that HE thinks they should know that they don't (or have forgotten). Hope all straightens up for you. I know what you mean relationship wise, I am a similar boat hon. <<<<Hugs>>>>
My dh also seems uninterested in hsing our children, but he also said, "There is no other option". If things get out of hand at home, he is the principal for the children (he will not teach) and my helper when I need him to help with housework. Just the other day, he put up four clothes lines in the basement for me. As most of you know at this "spot" that he is the "bestest" husband.
hurray for helpers i didnt mean to complain. do you guys ever have a pmsy moment, even when your not pmsy? guess that was it. while what i said was sooo true i love him with all my heart and know that i would never find anyone who treats me better or loves me more. well anyway on to bed time for kids and watch the palin biden debate i am recording. thanks for the encouragement!!
PMS - No, I am old and I'm going through the change of life, hoping it gets better - hot flashes, mood swings and two children ages 13 and 4???? Help!!!!
I don't think any of us thought you were complaining :lol: We've all been there in one way or another (and will probably be there again :lol. I'm typing as I watch the Palin/Biden debate :lol:
My DH was very tentative about bringing the kids home. But the public school was AWFUL and unsafe for our kids. We couldn't afford private immediately. So we were going to bring them home for the rest of the year and put them in private the following year. So I feel for ya sista They don't get it until they have to do it. I think it would be a big wake up call if he really knew how much effort went into it each day. But I worked my butt off and the kids thrived! Last year wasn't as great, but the kids still did wonderful on their Stanford test at the end of the year. Now, DH brags and talks up HSing all the time. He is so excited about how well DD is doing. Yet, he has never done ANYTHING to help. I asked him what he would do if he lost his job and I had to work full time. He said, I will school the kids. As if it were the easiest thing in the world to do.... I guess I take that as a complement that I make it look easy... of course the house is never cleaned, meals are often out of a box, and laundry gets done in mounds that rarely get folded...
I have no advice, but I can share what it's like here. My DH does not participate in HS day to day. He does listen with interest to my reports on the kids, and he usually willing to commit to advice when I request it, whether it's "Wait until next month," or "Whatever you think is best." As far as the house:roll:, it bothers me A LOT. However, shortly after my first was born (and the house was a train wreck), I overheard my husband tell someone that he wondered at first about the house being a mess, and then he decided I didn't quit work to clean house. I quit work to take care of our children. I always try to keep that in mind when a messy house is really bothering me because I made school or getting my kids some exercise a priority.
When dh chose this along with me, I told him he has to have some idea of what I am teaching. Granted, I do most of the teaching, but he does have a general idea what they are working on, as I will ask him to help here or there.
It's all on me, the homeschooling. Hubby pretty much supports me on whatever I choose to do rather I sink or swim. He's put education all on me which does stress me out. He says I can do what ever I want and he will pay what ever the price for them to have a good education. All he says is they have to have tests during the year and at the end of the year. When I email him about school he doesn't respond much back to me except that I am doing a good job and to keep it up. Yes it's nice to hear that but it would have been nice to have more of what do you think of this or that curriculum flyer/phamlet I mailed you or copied and pasted to you? While he don't deal with the homeschooling parts he does stuff out in the garage with them, I call it the Daddy stuff. He's the outdoorsy person and woodworking and building stuff type person. As for our marriage, I never knew who my husband was until 3 years ago and we have been together since then end of '09. We never were together much until we moved to Maine on his shore duty. Talk about having some major difference in opinions and just about everything. The one thing that gets him most is the fact that I am pack rat and clutter don't bother me. Everything is clean, I just have my little piles here and there. I am working on that and he is working on not being such a crazy neat freak especially with 2 littles ones running around. Well my crew has awaken.
btw...I wanted to add that I am GLAD that dh doesn't do any teaching. When I've told him to explain something that he's said (such as scientific; "Tell them why that happens") then he totally goes over their heads...not just in a challenging way but much farther than what they can comprehend, maybe a teenager would be able to, but not for their age levels. If he put his hand in the teaching pot, it would probably end in frustration. lol.
Freddy is home four days a week and helps out a lot. He does most of the science with the girls. He loves book sales as much as I do and he and I always go to the curriculum fair together. Now if they ask for help with Math or English and he is near them I always yell, "don't ask Daddy!" The girls get such a kick out of that. I am glad that he will help out. He is teaching them about woodworking and tools too. Emily loves that.
Awww - I know my husband is one of the bestest out there But boy can he aggravate the heck outta me sometimes! I met a husband who will be teaching my son guitar starting Wednesday and boy is he involved with their school work - which took me by surprise. Thing is I didn't come home and expect anything from my husband and though some days I REALLY wish he would do SOMETHING - I'm ok with it. If/when I vent to him - he wants to fix it ....not always a good idea IMHO.... so I have to inform him not to fix just let me *i*ch about it. I plan the schooling - I work up all the assignment sheets.....and pick out the books.... etc. He just asks that we do the testing each year and not an evaluator or pick religious exemption. But the tests are easier anyways. I know if something happened and I was no longer able to teach them - they would go back to PS. It's not a fault of my husband's - but we both know his limitations and school is definitely one of them When we 1st got married his mom sent me a box of all his kid stuff and in it was a high school report card where he had changed his grade from an F to a B in SHOP!! And this is a guy who can build pretty much anything....a few others were altered but it let me know school is just not his thing. Don't worry momma - we feel the frustration and sometimes just the need to vent - so go ahead and do it!
well, thanks for all the advice. I guess a lot of us are in the same boat lol. Its actually not that i want him to do school and teach, its just that i wish he would act more interested in it. but from what i hear on here most husbands are pretty much like mine, so I do feel better. we had a great night last night. i do love him. Do you guys believe that the women are actually in charge of the mood of the house. the old "if mamma aint happy aint nobody happy" well i believe if everyone if fighting and grouchy, if as the woman of the house, you set your mind to starting over and being sweet and kind even when they dont deserve it. it really works, ive tried it alot and i have proof that in this house at least if mamma is happy everyone is!!lol
My husband isn't involved in the "nitty gritty" of homeschooling, but since he works from home, he is fully aware of what it takes. He also takes on projects with the kids, makes suggestions if he sees me struggling (usually over behavior or attitudes), and participates in our "deep" discussion about world affairs, politics, current events, morals, etc. I guess I'm very blessed to have him so aware of what I do and willing to pitch in when needed (and he can!) Carol
Oh my husband isn't involved with the homeschooling either. He figures I'm doing a good job. He is strongly in favor of homeschooling - he just doesn't want to do it! He is very supportive and will pay for whatever we need. Frankly if he tried to be involved and tell me what I should be doing I'd get irritated. His disinterest suits me just fine! LOL!
My husbands a smart man. He knows when to shut it. He is also 17 years older then me, and we have both put each other through so much that he knows me well enough to know that he doesn't know anything, and when to shut it.
