you saw a male swim coach lay a teenage girl swimmer on a picnic table outside the building and then rub her back and massage her shoulders? I saw this today at my daughter's practice and I. AM. SHOCKED!!:shock: So maybe she had a cramp or something, but really, to remove her from the pool area to a place were no one was (until I walked in and stared in shock)... is he insane?? I personally don't like this coach anyway. I've caught him in several lies (and he knows it), and he just generally gives me the heebie jeebies, but this was way more than I expected. My dd's had a strained muscle for two weeks. She ices it. The coach doesn't touch her. What a stupid position for him to put himself in, innocent or not.
I would consider that HIGHLY Inapropriate! I personally would be having a talk with the leader of the organization, as I would be very concerned for the other girls as well as that one and most of all for my own child.
I think you need to go with your gut and say something to whomever is in charge. Even if it was innocent, it should not be allowed to happen again.
WEIRD! Just hearing that makes me get the goosebumps and the shivers. Yuck!! I agree that you need to go with your gut on this one and tell the higher ups about this, AND that he's been untruthful with you in the past. Somebodies bound to listen.
He is the head of the organization (Aquatics Director). In some stange way this Club Swim group (USA Swimming) has become intermingled with the school district (high school swimming). At one time, I went to the athletic director of the school district about one of the lies I caught this guy in. Basically, I was told I needed to trust the coaches and nothing was done about it. I actually tried to get my phone out to take a picture, but he noticed me watching and they left. I'm going to be watching so I can try to take a pic.
You can call the state board of education if he's associated with public schools, they will take the complaint seriously (most of the time). Also you could contact the district superintendant about the issue. Generally the higher up they are the less they can afford to have "problems" so they take your complaints more seriously.
I was actually thinking about filing a complaint with USA Swimming. They can't afford not to take it seriously as it recently came out that quite a few coaches were guilty of inappropriate behavior with girls (dates back to the 80's when gackground checks weren't mandatory, but still). My dh said he's seen this coach do this a couple of times and thought it was strange both times. The more I think about it, how can a teenage girl possibly be comfortable with a middle-aged man's hands all over her barely clothed body-no matter what the reason!!
If he left when you went for your phone, then I seriously doubt it was innocent in his mind. How scary. If you get nowhere, you need to let the parents of that girl know what is going on.
Even if it was perfectly innocent it was not appropriate and someone higher up needs to let him know. If nothing else he is guilty of using very bad judgement. I hope someone in charge of the program listens before it is too late.
So not appropriate! Someone somewhere needs to be told-- if not a few someones. That's just creepy! Go with your gut!
OK, let's say he wasn't doing anything "wrong" and had good motives. He is at least guilty of severe stupidity, and as a teacher he knows better. NO MALE TEACHER WOULD EVER ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE ALONE WITH A FEMALE STUDENT!!! Carl realized one time that he had given permission for a young lady to come and do work with him in his classroom during lunch time. When he realized it, he found her and suggested she bring some friends along with her. Our church has a "two-leader rule". Two leaders AT ALL TIMES. At camp, the counselors are told that yes, there are times when you might need to talk one-on-one in private with a camper. But you can do it in the corner of the cafeteria or in the middle of a field or somewhere where people will be walking by all the time. Or you tell another couselor and have that other person sit across the room or something so you're not really "alone". It protects not only the young person, but also the adult in case the young person makes untrue accusations in the future. I also agree you need to report it. Someone needs to tell this guy how his behavior appears. If it doesn't stop, I would cosider pulling my child from the team.
Definitely report it! IF his intentions were innocent, at least he will open his eyes to how it looks.
Wow, I can't believe any instructor would be foolish enough to do that. I had to take an entire semester course on legal issues related to teaching when I was getting my teacher certification. In fact, I thought it was the only course worth squat when I was getting my certification. I was also warned at the beginning of each and every school year not to EVER be alone with a student of the opposite gender if it could be at all helped. And if I must, then I needed to make sure it was with a door open and window blinds up so that anyone could see in. If the district is, indeed, ultimately over this coach, then I would report the behavior. If anything turns out to be happening, they will also find themselves in the middle of a litigation nightmare; they'll put a stop to it before they'll deal with that mess.
And as a man, let me reiterate that it's highly inappropriate. At many children's sports venues today, including the YMCA, male soccer coaches are not allowed to touch any girls on the team at any time. They're even taught to avoid being hugged when the team wins (which means you can't even hug your own daughter). It sounds extreme, and it is extreme, but there's a reason for it. (When I was a soccer coach, we were told never to enter a public restroom if a child is in there.) Years ago, we invited some friends of ours over for dinner, and they in turn invited a female student. At one point, the husband of one family decided to give the female student a back massage while she lay on the floor. I felt VERY uncomfortable but didn't want to offend anyone with several other people present; shame on me for not speaking up. Not so many months later, that family had to leave the church after some very inappropriate behavior, and suddenly other people started relating stories about the husband. The fact is that we had all stayed silent about little incidents, everyone feeling as awkward as I had felt. Looking back, if only we had mentioned the incidents to a church leader we may have avoided future incidents. (Of course, sometimes we really would be making a mountain out of a molehill and come across as making an unwarranted accusation, and that's a problem too, but the incident can remain under wraps if revealed only to a leader. These days, I err on the side of caution.) In the example you quote, though, there's no doubt: It's highly inappropriate. Someone should report the behavior, and the coach should be given a clear warning.
Having been a soccer coach for many years (different sport but same principles), I would be quite sure that USA Swimming would want to hear about it. These days, such organizations go through hoops before recruiting coaches (police background checks, etc.), and they can be subject to major lawsuits for allowing a coach to behave like that. You should definitely report the matter to them - in writing.
Pam, you need to speak up for that poor girl, she will thank you I am sure. Keep us posted and let us know what happens.
