New and need an opinion if we have a good reason to homeschool

Hello Everyone!
I am new here. I apologize for skipping the formal introduction forum.I am mom to a 4th grader son.
I need an input on this topic:
WHAT IS A GOOD REASON TO MAKE A DESICION FOR HOMESCHOOLING A CHILD?

If a child don't like school - is this a good reason?
If he feels he does not fit; If he have hard time making friends and feels alone
If his self-esteem falling down
If he does not like competitive atmosphere
If he struggles completing homework on time

He says he doesn't like to have too many people around him. He is in catholic private school. They have combined classes, they have 3rd and 4th grades in one room.
They have a new teacher who used to be a law enforcement and it is her second carrier as a teacher. She is strict, my son is afraid to ask her questions because "he is afraid to get in trouble". He is afraid to ask to get some water when he is thirsty and he is afraid to ask to use washroom when he needs to. He feels uncomfortable when the teacher talks to him pointing at something because "all class looks at me, yet no one looks if somebody else is in trouble. They just don't like me there, mom".
I am afraid to mix my own emotions and my son’s needs. I believe homeschooling is a paradise for some kids, and mine would LOVE to be homeschooled; but I also not sure where is the point I have to push him to go out there and learn to deal with the world on his own.
Please give me your two cents dear everyone!

P.S. I have a heavy accent as a foreigner here in this country. My American husband believes that I can damage our son's education with my imperfect English. My feelings are hurt to hear that. I do speak well, and as you see write well; I even write English kids stories (of course they need edition but still), I was an A student at school myself, although it was pretty long time ago.
My son’s well being and forming as a healthy personality is way more important to me that my accent and ability to pronounce words.

Ivanna

 

Even with your accent you would still be an option to homeschool. There are sites on the internet that are free that I use. One of them is for spelling where it says the word and then the student types it in. It will then correct any mis-spelled words, and can be set up to repeat only the ones that were wrong. Your accent would not effect your son. The program shows the correct way to pronounce the words in English. The other subjects are the same all over the world and you accent would not be an issue in teaching. You can look around the area you live and sign up with a Home School group. Your child would get socialization skills there.

Just keep asking in this forum on specific questions you have. The people in here are very helpful.

Your first step would be to find out what your state guidelines are. Google HSLDA, then go to your state information on their site. This will give you what you need to follow in your state. And if you join them they will represent you legally if an issue should ever come up. They will also be able to answer any question you may have, from a legal aspect, as well as point you in the direction of resources.

Good luck.

 

I think these are ALL good reasons to homeschool.

This is also a good reason to homeschool.

Why would a 3rd or 4th grader need to "go out there and learn to deal with the world on his own?" That's just crazy, in my opinion. Anyone who says that is cruel. The truth is, he's a child. A child is who not yet capable of dealing with the world around him. Yes, we need to teach and guide our children so they CAN deal with the world eventually, little by little. But forcing him to do it without a trusted adult by his side will only harm him.

1. I assume that your son learned to speak English before he was enrolled in school. If that is the case, then you obviously did just fine giving him a great foundation in language before a native speaker began to teach him.

2. You are so right that his well being is more important than anything else.

3. With the right curriculum, you'll both improve your English grammar! It would be good for both of you!

4. If your husband is really worried about it, to the point that he does not want you to homeschool, try this:
Either get a curriculum like Switched on Schoolhouse where there are options for hearing the recordings, not just reading. So if he's having trouble pronouncing something, he can highlight it and the recording will play so he'll hear a native speaker say it.

or

Ask your husband to give you the rest of this year. See if he'll agree to homeschooling on a trial basis. Tell him that if he's really not happy with the way your son progresses this year, you're willing to send him back to private school (maybe by then he'll have a different teacher).

 

Those are all great reasons to homeschool. Your son is not only exposed to your accent, if your husband is American then he can also help in grammar and other things. Also, you'd be quite surprised how many foreign teachers there are, especially in middle school & high school. Your accent wont affect his education negatively.

 

Dear ladies - THANK YOU so much for the encouragement. :love: I really needed to hear this since no one else around me is supporting this idea; I mean NO ONE AT ALL, none a single soul including my friends and relatives overseas. My 16 years old all-american-highschool-sport-achiever outgoing stepson throw a tantrum when he heard saying Oh No; I actually have a problem that my brother will grow up speaking broken English. My MIL is shaking her head so hard I'm worrying she might get a bad headache. The entire situation is just ridiculous. I just wonder why people are so negative to HS idea??
The good news is I do have a friend who used to homeschool her now grown up three sons although it was many years ago. She might have some connections, yet even she is not sure if it is an option for our family since I have very little, close to none, support of my DH and immediate family. I am so glad I posted here!

Thank you for suggested curriculum and websites.
I will ask more questions I am sure, by now I have to settle the entire affair here and then come back for the curriculum ideas. I did filed the application though, and DH is not aware of it yet.
I do have here 4th grade McGraw Hill (I believe) math book, have anyone heard of it? Is this a good math book to follow? Thank you again!:love:

 

I do not suggest homeschooling without the support of your spouse, it very important to have at the very least, that support. It's a huge decision, as you can can already see, you will be going up against many people in this decision, but if it is right for your family, you need to be able to stand together against outsiders and whatever else comes up. Deciding to homeschool without the support of a spouse will also cause problems int eh marriage.

That being said, I think (most) any reason is a good reason to homeschool if it's an important reason for that family. Some people homeschool for religious reasons, yet for some people that would be a silly reason to homeschool. It's very personal and individual for each family.

 

Yes, you can and should do it, but you need to work with your husband on this. Tell him you just want to try it out for a year and see how it goes (because in my experience, people are won by results, not words or statistics). Don't let your accent hold you back. My HS group has people from all backgrounds and levels of education, several immigrants with a different primary language, and we even have one who is blind, but she's still able to HS her daughter! If you want to do it, you can find a way around just about anything.

 

Thank you for your inputs, Ladies! Yes I understand the importance of a spouse's support. If he says No - it will affect our relationship also, unfortunately. I see no reason for DS's struggle in school while I am staying at home anyway and can help him in the mean time - and don't mind doing so. In my DH's eyes attending school it is "what everyone should do", so I we need to talk more about people can be different and may need different things for their development.
2littleboys - am I reading it right? Is your 4 years old son doing second grade stuff and spelling of adults?? Or I am dreaming??)

And Sonita - LOL LOL at the quote about marshmallows - BUT IT IS SO TRUE!!!!
I feel I am in a good company here.

 

No, you're right, and he wears me out (so does his little brother). He's been this intense since the day he was born. He taught himself how to read at 22 months (he's on an adult reading level, but his comprehension is only about 3rd or 4th.) This is actually the only homeschooling forum I've found that doesn't rake me over the coals for letting him go at his own pace and pursue his own interests. I've been torn to shreds in other places. I've often invited people to spend a day with us just to see who's pushing who, but that usually ends the conversation. I never tell people he's gifted to brag. I sometimes say it when I'm looking for help or advice, though. There's a tiny community of radically accelerated homeschoolers out there, but most people would never know it. In every other way, he's a typical 4 year old.

 

Ha-I always see your siggy and think "wow that poor woman-that child is working her to death!" LOL cause my son is about to wear me out just in science, but he's "behind" in reading & writing so I guess it balances out, I have a bright child, but not a gifted one. God bless those of you with gifted kids! I think it's great when parents let their kids go at their own pace, gifted or not.

Moms can be one of the worst groups of people to go to a forum with. LOL It's sad, but true. Formula vs breastfeeding, vax vs not, circumcise vs not, working mom vs SAHM, etc are some of the nastiest forum conversations you'll ever see!

And I really don't understand homeschooling moms not sticking together better. It's bad enough we have to defend our choice to home educate to family and friends and even strangers, to be raked over the coals by other homeschoolers....*sigh*

I understand though, we're mostly unschool, but not radical unschoolers so I've been attacked by some radical unschoolers for not being unschool enough LOL :roll:

This board is one of the friendliest I've ever seen in my life, and I love it.

Back to the OP....as far as English-does your state laws allow you to do co-op or hire a tutor? Maybe to get your hubby on board you can hire a tutor or do co-op classes for English to alleviate some of his fears??

 

I think your reasons for wanting to HS are totally valid. I also see what you husband is saying. It took me several months to relax and realize that education is just going to school. It was so ingrained in me that PS was all there was well aside from Catholic etc.. That HS seemed very foriegn to me. Its been a really eye opening experience. One I am glad I plunged into as it has allowed me to grow more as a person and truly connect with my kids in a way that I was losing in small pieces by sending them to school.
As to the language thing so long as your son is out with other people I am sure his English will be fine. And it seems to me he may have an advantage if you teach him your native language as well I am struggling to work on french here as Canadians we are supposed to be bilingual lol I kind of stunk at french in school but maybe second time round is the charm
Best of luck and welcome to the forum here.

 

:angel:2littleboys - wow. Good luck to yuo on your journey. I have heard to raise a gifted child is somewhat a challange - but again tell me is not it a challange to raise any child??
We have quiet of a strike this morning, DS is all in tears doesn't want to go to school anymore. DH is mad, and I am sad. So DS said his entire body hurts which I believe and DH doesn't...Anyway I am off to Goodwill to find a nice huge work desk, you know how shopping can help to feel better

 

AMEN to that, sister!!!!!!! HA!

 

NorthernMomma - Thank you for sharing your story. Myself - I used to be a totally foreign to an idea to homeschool. Until one day about 5 years ago I bumped into a bunch of noisy laughing people in our local library. I asked what kind of group that was? And of course, the answer was: Oh, we are a homeschooling group. Hm, I though, What's that? Why anyone on the planet Earth would have such a burden and homeschool a child if schools are free and...what we all have done and should do... We never know..
BTW I drove to the library the other day in hope to find some connections to that group, but no one knew anything about them. Probably it was one-time event. But I have found online like 18 miles from us a group, that’s good! We are in the rural WI here.

We let DS to stay home today and - miracles happen!! - his sickness disappeared in a wink of an eye and he was happily helping me to clean up garage for good two hours.
Is he manipulating me at some degree?

No desk at Goodwill, but bunch of Halloween stuff – 5 items for 4 dollars – niceJ

 

Ivanna,
You will get tons of support for hs here; and of course you should. All the reasons you suggest are very good reasons to homeschool.
But realize that homeschool is not a magic bullet. It is sometimes a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, balanced of course by those times when we get into the discussions of a lifetime that would never have been possible without us all being home like this.
Your husbands support is SOOOO important. Everyone else (including selfish stepson) can go suck lemons. But the childs father needs to be onboard.
So, to that end...
I would set up a meeting with the teacher. Maybe he is as scary as your son makes out...maybe not. But you need to know if you have someone you can work with. plus, I can almost guarantee that people are not looking and thinking about your son as much as he thinks they are. Remind him that really, they are thinking of themselves, most of the time.
If after discussing your sons concerns with the teacher, you feel confirmed in his situation then you have that to go to your husband with. Either the teacher understands and will work with you or he doesn't and that gives you the advantage of having "tried". you know, if you get the idea in your head that homeschool is the only answer and your husband feels that is what you are arguing about, rather than your sons actual education...then your just in an argument, and you want it to be a discussion where he has the freedom to see your point. right?

I am not going to touch his response about your language ability. I am assuming, because he is American (shame on me.) that HE is not bilingual, so that YOU actually can teach your son two languages instead of one...and if he SPEAKS to the child, the child will learn perfectly good english. ok, sorry, I said I wasn't going to touch on this and then I blather on. so ...well. that little issue made me angry. ugh.

ANYway. Blessings on whatever you decide to do. Keep your sons best interest at heart and you will make the right decision.

 

Goodnsimple -

Thank you for your input. I guess I need another forum to talk about my husband's and mine differences; sometimes I think we talk ..well..different languages on a soul level - his statements leave me puzzled and frustrated, obviously he is having some issues with me being myself as well. Love is here, but..Sometimes I think that I just do not get this culture..yet many times I see other people perfectly understand me, I mean not words but attitude on some deeper level. His remarks about my language did hurt a lot just because he is repeating what my MIL and DSS are saying, otherwise he would be too busy to notice anything doing his "stuff". And no, he is not too much involved father; there is not much communication between him and our son, needless to say between him and myself. Anyway, I too, shouldn’t go to this area; yet thanks for listening
Regarding the teacher - it is a woman, and she is O.K.; I spoke with both her and the principal. They both are saying that homeschooling would be a mistake - but what would I expect to hear from a teacher? They have only 60 students in the entire school, and they have hard time to let go anyone. They are both saying that my son is "doing just great", "smiling" and "looks happy" and "gets along with the students just fine". I would be much happy to know all that if my little one wouldn't talk to me. When he says, "I am the worst person in school" and "I am a failurer" because he can't finish in time his work and because he is not so great with math - I really think he does not need to be there to be labelled for the rest of his days as a looser. Because HE IS NOT. It was something I have heard from him for the first time. And the other day after school when it was some math we struggle to complete, and I pushed him - we HAVE to complete homework to not get into trouble - he cried saying "I don’t want to live anymore" - my heart just sunk.
There is a crazy idea I have: I thought if I talk to a principal (who is a new and an older lady as well LOL) if we can stay at school for the half of the week so DH would be happy, let say two days a week, but counted as homeschoolers that would be so great. I am sure they didn’t have such experience, but why not to ask?

 

That wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea, however it may not be legal. Before you approach the principle with your idea, you might want to study your state homeschool laws. In Missouri, for example, most of our school time has to be done at home.

 

Actressdancer - you' re right, it is NOT legal here, I had chance to talk to people this morning.

 

Hi Ivanna! My boys aren't nearly as old as yours, but I'll chuck in my two cents anyway LOL

I believe that there are so many reasions to homeschool that it's not even funny. It's very unique and individual for each family. We homeschool for several reasons: The level of indoctrination in schools, cruelty of some of the children (I have very soft hearted tender boys), and my youngest son has speech and sensroy issues I think could be best handled at home rather than in a school setting.

I don't think your accent would hold you back at all! I have a southern accent, and my Hubby doesn't and our kids speak just fine (no hint of accent actually. lol) Look at it this way (as another poster stated) you taught him how to talk, right? I think you've done a fantastic job so far! Make a culture lesson out of it! Teach him about the family tree and where your family came from, historically. That is many lessons into one: Geography (learn about the country), crafts (make a family tree), handwriting (write a letter to an overseas relative), History (history of the country or family history), the possibilities are really endless in that respect! Be proud of your accent and heritage, don't think it's a hunderance!!!

As far as tlaking with your husband about homeschooling, I believe a trial time would be needed. Just set a time span and see if he improves or not! I bet he will! I didn't have this problem with my husband. He was on the homeschooling boat before I was, actually. There are so many programs out there if you and your husband are worried about speech and grammar.

I understand your family issues, unfortunatly. We have them too. My Mother in law is completely against it (she's a 6th grade teacher), but thankfully my parents are 100% all for it and have agreed to help in their education as well. I would give it some time with your hubby, and I bet he'll come around.

 

Hi Meg2006! Thank you for your very kind message and sharing of a little bit of your story, too I just want to say Good luck to you with your journey, too!:love:

I would like to share: Something very significant happened today. I think DH and I we've accomplished a lot and came to the point of agreement. DH agreed on giving me the rest of this year with 100 support and defending me with the rest of the family on one condition: he wants to give DS a test that would show where he is now. Then he wants to give him a test at the end of the year to see what he’d learn and how he is doing in general. And how I am doing with my commitment and helping DH with his business the same time.

A couple of questions aroused:
Where can I get my son tested?
Can he be tested at our public school?
Did anyone else here go through the same before?
Should I ask our private school to give him a test?
Please help with a suggestion!! Thank you!:angel: