The big sleep debate with kids. Where do they sleep? How much? Bedtimes? Self-regulated? Kids in parent's bed? We've got people here with so many interesting perspectives, I wondered what you guys thought of the great sleep debate? How did you handle sleep arrangements with your kids?
Ok, I made the thread, but forgot to answer my own question. LOL. Here's what we did: We didn't do bedtimes. When she got tired, she went to sleep, usually when we did. Wouldn't work for all kids, but worked pretty well for Elle. She didn't like sleeping in her own room, but she was impossible to have in our bed. Too many elbows in my ribs and ankles in my ears. I swear the kid wanted to sleep SIDEWAYS. She was miserable in bed with us....so we made a compromise. We kept a day-bed in our room. At night, we'd shove it up against our bed, but she had to stay in her day-bed. This way, she could hold a hand if she wanted to for a bit while going to sleep. Worked out REALLY well. We loved this system. No stress. No battles. Everyone got good sleep. If we wanted to have sex, we just tip toed out after she was asleep and used another room downstairs. Sort of funny...buy hey, it WORKED. That's what counts. Some folks will take offense to this, and I apologize if you do...but we believe in intelligent design THROUGH evolution. It occurred to me that the higher primates sleep in family groups for a reason...because if you happen to be a little ape sleeping away from the big apes...you're a lot more likely to get eaten by a cheetah. I think kid's night time fear is rooted in that instinct. They want to be with the big people...because their instincts are screaming it's a matter of life and death. How did you guys handle nighttime arrangements?
How old are we talking? My kids had bedtimes, but with Faythe just turning 18.... But she's the one who usually heads up when she's tired. Phillip, on the other hand, would stay up to 2 AM and play Minecraft if I were to let him! We send him up sometime around 10:30. When they were younger, they were told that bedtime was a half-hour EARLIER than we wanted it to be. For example, if we wanted lights out at 9, we would tell them that 8:30 was their bedtime, but they could "stay up" for another half-hour if they were reading.... I don't believe in letting kids sleep with their parents. Not 'right" or "wrong" issue, just me! But when they were little, our door was always open if they were to wake up in the middle of the night. They always knew they could come in our room. I'd usually put them in with us for a while, but would eventually carry them back to their room. Often, coming in would disturb DH to where he would soon get up and go to the bathroom. I would tell the child that "Daddy is going to carry you back to your bed when he's done...." NOT believing in "intelligent design THORUGH evolution" , I do understand what you're saying and you've got a point. I've many friends who have their little ones sleep with them, and I know it works for them!
LOL....when she was little. Not lately. ROTFL When she started school...I suggested a bed time and she rolled her eyes at me. I told her...ok, have it your way...but if you complain in the morning that you're tired, we're going to renegotiate. She never complained once. LOL.
My kids have always had bedtimes when they were little. Strict bedtimes. If bedtime was 8pm, that meant IN bed at 8pm. Not getting a snack or getting ready for bed, but IN bed. No kids slept in our bed. If they were sick, I'd sleep in their room with them. My 2nd son has autism and he absolutely without a doubt needed the routine of a bedtime. My older daughter was a beast if she didn't get enough sleep. She gave me the hardest time about going to bed on time. If it were 3 minutes til bedtime, she would sit on the edge of the bed and wait for those 3 mins to tick by before getting in bed. Once in bed though she was out cold within minutes. My youngest daughter will go to bed when she is tired, regardless if it's bedtime or not. She watches the clock and will be ready for bed and go willingly. She is very active during the day and worn out so she goes to bed easily. I only have my two youngest left at home as my two oldest are adults. My 18 yr old doesn't have a bedtime per say, but she has to be in her own room by 11pm. Our bedroom is right off the livingroom with the TV on the opposite wall as our bed. My DH gets up early for work so she is not allowed up past 11pm making noise. Her bedroom is on the other end of the house so she can watch tv, play on the computer and do what ever she pleases as long as she is in her room.
LOL!!! Yeah...if she's still joining you on a regular basis, you've REALLY got a problem!!! I think, though, you're right in that you can work with them on a bedtime AS LONG AS they are ready to go in the AM. When they come down all tired and grouchy, it's time to re-evaluate. (But don't tell Phillip I said that, lol!)
Last year, Elle and I both got the flu, and decided to bunk together so my husband wouldn't get sick. We stayed up half the night talking and made each other tea, and it was really wonderful. I kinda look forward to camping because we all sleep in the same tent or cabin, and it's fun to talk in the dark like we did when she was little. Simpler times. Wow, it goes fast!
When they were REALLY little, like babies, they slept in their cribs. We'd bring them in if they were sick or scared. As they grew, they'd only come in if they were really scared from a nightmare or thunderstorm. Actually, all three of them (even the 14 year old) will still come in if they're scared from something, and sleep with us till they feel better. But it is EXTREMELY rare. But, when we travel, well, we just make it work however it needs to. Sometimes, the oldest will get the cot, the youngest sleeps with me and my son sleeps with my husband. Or the two girls sleep together, hubby and I together, and my son gets the cot. We love "morning" bed on weekends. Usually, one by one they come into the room on Saturday morning, and we all cuddle and talk about our week and the weekend and stuff. Even the dog. Lots of fun. In fact, hubby was out of town this week, and the 4 of us did it one morning. Took about an hour and a half of cuddling and giggling and playing games and stuff. LOL
We use to have "morning bed" just about every day when the kids were little, after Carl went to work! Something I really miss.
my oldest would always sleep in her bed when she was a baby, when we took her out of the baby bed she would have to have one of us lay with her until she fell asleep.. then in the middle of the night, I would find someone had climbed in bed with us and she loved to hold our hands.. we got smart and started having a "bed" on the floor made up for her, so when she would walk in I would just hold her hand, cover her up and let her fall asleep on her "bed".. it worked... she was also the girl who stole mammas slips and have them hidden under her pillow! LOL... at nap time I would find her sleeping with it... When they were little they were always in bed by eight... since we homeschool now, there bed time became what ever we felt like going to bed.
When Phillip was little, he would get up early in the morning, and we'd find him curled up on the floor outside the girls' bedroom door! I think he felt "left out", since they shared a room!
With my first we co-slept and it was bliss. She slept cradled in the crook of my arm and I loved it! She took most of her naps on my chest cuddled on the couch enjoying the quiet. By the time number two came I was more structured and the kids each slept in their own beds and went to sleep by 6 each night. Now that we homeschool and have three kids things are different yet again. Our youngest (6 years old) usually falls asleep in bed with my hubby and then I carry her into her own bed when I go down for the night. The other girls (12 and almost 14) sleep in their own beds. As for what time- well now that we're sort of a free form homeschooling bunch the kids go to bed at whatever time works for that particular day. Tonight it was late (about 2300) because the older girls had a performance. Last night it was a more normal time (2100) because we were home and it worked.
