Here's a gutsy admission

Please don't judge me for my admission... many of you (who know me) may already be aware of it without me having to say anything at all.

I have been struglling with my faith lately - not questioning that God loves me or anything of that sort - I still believe - no reason for me not to. It amounts to being deceived by the lies and not having enough sense to pray him away from me.

The downward spiral hit hardest when I fought to clear my name with why I was fired last year took far more out of me than it was ever worth - my faith took a nose dive with all that happened.

I never ever used to work on Sunday mornings... wouldn't give up going to church for anything or anyone then I took a promotion at work and nose dived yet again... I knew that I had to work the occasional Sunday to cover a day off for our assistant manager but then they started to manipulate that and I was working more Sunday's than I wasn't. When I was off on Sunday mornings, I slept in because I was exhausted... So I wasn't getting to church like I should have been.

I'm guilty of falling into the patterns of this world (Romans 2:12), leaning on what I know how to do and not what God wants me to do... not walking with Him as closely as I once was, jumping ahead of God doing what I thought was best not waiting for God to do what was best for me...

As a result, the anxiety that I have been swallowed up with (I can assure you it isn't as simple as not being at church or my faith walk - it's a complicated mess).

Anyway, this is my admission of guilt for today...

 

Great admission! I think this will help to get some things back on track. :angel:
Patty

 

I have to agree with Patty, I hope this will help you get back on the path again...

 

Oh sweetie, anyone that could judge you for being brave is a hippocritical bigot. I applaud you're words, admire your strength and know that in admitting this, you know that your heart isn't where it should be. But you know what isn't right and can work to make things better! (((HUGS)))

 

Cause of course, making logical decisions based on your own knowledge is a sin and worth feeling guilty over when you could be waiting around for a divine being that never directly interacts with it's creation to make it for you.

 

Euph, I pray someday you will be able to experience the true love of Christ in your life. That He will reveal Himself to you in a way that is undeniable.

Brenda, I think to some degree we all go through things like this. Especially in times of trial. But don't give up and like the others have said, just admitting it shows that you know your heart is not in the right place and bringing out in the open will be a big hielp to get it back wher eit needs to be! When we hold things in it gives the enemy a great oppotunity to feed us lies (as you mentioned) but now it has been brought out of darkness and God's light can shine in you!!

Hugs

 

Here's another dose of honesty, I have been exchanging pm's with a couple people here and spewed my gutts... maybe I shouldn't have said anything (deception yet again by the evil one) BUT I did... since doing so, the conviction I have been under has been unreal... and that's not a bad thing.

I know what I have to do and am working towards doing what is right and when I can do that, the anxieties will be lessened considerably (Praise the Lord for that).

Some day maybe I will be able to explain it to others but right now, it is incredibly difficult for me to do thus the limited number of poeple who I can say anything to right now.

Thank you all for your prayers. I can assure you that God is listening and He is working it all out - the conviction alone that I am facing is more than enough proof to me... when I'm out of the dark tunnel and I see the light (the trial I am in), imagine what the end result will be - God willing a steadfast walk with Him, with my head on straight avoiding the traps that I have been put into. Satan knows my weaknesses and is using them to the fullest right now. I have to persevere and come out on top of this trial.

 

Brenda, I know that going to church is important, but don't forget God is everywhere, Not just the little curch on the hill ............... even if you don't make it to church he's there to listen to your needs.

 

I'm praying for you, Brenda. I'm glad you have friends here you can "spew" to. :love:

 

Thank goodness He is everwhere... that much I have kept close to me

 

yes, Amy he is everywhere.

 

well said Lesile I hope Euph, Christ does come to your life soon. He is great girl..
​

 

Brenda - so been where you are. Praying that He shows you the road to peace.

I will be praying for you.

A book I love to read, and found really good when listening to the "lies" from the enemy. "The Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss . I can't say I agree 100% with what she says (heck who agrees with 100% of what ANYONE says! LOL ) BUT...the book is very good at helping get to the core and allowing God in to fix that core.

God is in the details. He is there for you and has a plan for you.

I will be praying.

 

Thank you for your honesty...God is good and loves you much! You are an encouragement to me, Brenda.

 

:lol: Please don't take this the wrong way...

One of my closest internet friends and I were talking on MSN last summer when she said she looked to me as being a mentor (this is a lady who has been a Christian all of her life maybe not experiencing half of what I have learned the hard way because I chose to wait until later in my own life to accept Christ)... I thought I was going to roll over laughing - I looked to her as a mentor.

Dawn when I read your comment, I couldn't help but remember what she had said to me and just now was thinking 'In the darkest days of my life, someone is encouraged by me'... I couldn't help but laugh a little.

 

Brenda, a truth that hasn't totally saturated my understanding yet, is that both our guilt and shame has been totally dealt with at the Cross! Take whatever steps the Lord is directing you to do to get back on the upward path with Him and with others, but don't waste another moment tormenting yourself with regret. (I struggle in this area, too, so I'm not "preaching at" you--just sharing what I'm trying to learn, myself.) Then watch expectantly as He works everything--not just some things--but everything together for your good. Romans 8:28.

Blessings!

 

Brenda, I am thinking of you and will be praying for you as well.

 

I'm a guy...

 

Well either way, I do hope that you feel the presence of Christ in your life in a way that there will be no doubts.

I still believe - absolutely no doubt about it - God has moved mountains in my life and in the lives of loved ones, but because of lies and deception being able to feel God's presence hasn't always been easy lately... that doesn't mean He doesn't care or isn't a part of me... He hasn't left my side... on the contrary, it's me who has been clouded and walked away from Him - I'm on my walk by to Him - to have that joy that I once felt before.

 

Euph, I think you'll change your mind one day. My son is where you are right now, so I get what you're saying.