Here's a gutsy admission

Brenda as I sit and read this and think of you only one thing keeps coming to mind and that is one of my favorite poems...

Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was
walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during
the low periods of my life
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow, or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I have needed you most
have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen
only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."

I know he is carring you now!!
Hugs and love

 

I'd sooner become a Wiccan than convert back to Christianity, it's an empty religion to me.

 

This is one of my most favorite poems of absolute all time - such an inspiring story actually. I actually made a cross stitch of it for mom one year...

 

Euph... I'm not here to judge you and neither is anyone else (I delayed posting this thread at all because even though I have been here forever (since the beginning of this forum actually) and know many people here, I still feared judgement given my current struggles).

I am so sorry that it seems you haven't had a good experience with the Christian faith... I'm so sorry that you appear to question it. I really wish there was something I could do for you - but the one and only thing that I can do that is of any good at all to you is to simply pray for you.

Given my own struggle right now... all I can suggest (and maybe it sounds shallow - if so I'm sorry - I'm pointing fingers at my own self here and no one else) is that in my own case, I will get out of my walk with Christ what I choose to put into it...

I'm struggling as I am because I allowed my job to take priority over my faith, I allowed lies and deception to make me think that I was no longer good enough to be in church (the last time before last weekend I was in church, I left early crying because *I* didn't feel "good enough" to be there in the presence of everyone else who attends weekly). When in reality, every other person sitting at the church has similar struggles as I do.

It has only been in the past couple days when I was totally honest with myself and others about my struggle that I can see where I went wrong and what I need to do to make that wrong a right.

Being a Christian isn't easy... it's harder to be a Christian because as you grow, you are attacked more by lies and deception by Satan. He knows our weaknesses and uses them to drag us down and he won't stop until you're so far down that you can't get back up on your own - but that's where God is... always there to pick you up... all you have to do is call out to Him.

Hang on, and know that you have many people here praying for you.

 

That is absolutely profound, Brenda! You are so correct in what you say! Your writing reminded me of a title of Billy Graham's daughter's book. I think it's something like There's A Broken Heart Sitting in Every Pew. Euph, you may have followed Jesus' teachings, as many people do, and therefore claimed the name of "Christian," but you apparently never actually knew Him or had a relationship with Him. If that is true, then to be technically accurate, you couldn't convert back to Christianity. We ALL need a repentant heart and a turning from ourselves to Christ--a conversion which places us in an intimate relationship with Our Father. Until you have a child-like trust, you truly are not His child. This may seem like a trivial point, but it's actually basic. So, I'm quite sure that our definitions of what a Christian is, are not the same. Just something to think about...

 

I know what you mean by the relationship thing exactly, what I'm saying is I tried to have that and never did. Most likely cause there was nothing to have. Also, when I stepped back and looked at the Bible from a different point of view, I'm not sure I would want to follow that God even if he was/is real.

 

Euph, maybe you just haven't had the right kind of teachers/role models/supports? It's very hard, I think, to be told one thing, then shown another. Personally, I have to ignore the cutthroat type of people in my church, or I'd never go back. There's one lady in particular, that when she gets up and speaks about the ministry she's in charge of, I have to block her out or I get the urge to shake my head. She's a complete phony, but I'm not there for her, so I ignore her.

 

Prairie, I know people who have been saved, then turned their back on God years later. They saw things daily that were unchristian and they just started living that way as well. I believe, if Euph was saved at some point, he could indeed go back to being a Christian.

 

Brenda, isn't it something? Even as you are confessing, the enemy is still trying to toss stones at your faith and at our Lord.:angel:
Keep your chin up! You are doing great.

What Euph is doing, if he was ever a Christian, is completely denying Christ. This, according to the Bible is the unpardonable sin. Now, perhaps he believes more then he claims and is trying to cause a stir to someones heartfelt admission.
As Christians, we are not perfect, in church and out. I am assuming that most Christians who backslide do not deny the very existance of our Creator. They still believe in Jesus. Unfortunately for Euph, he is denying Christ's existance completely. This is not the same thing.
I believe Prairie is referring to a person who has truly accepted Christ. We are forever saved, even though we may not always live the perfect life.
Again, Euph is denying God all together.

...and I to will pray for Euph. I am afraid He will wait to long and realize he is wrong.:angel: If God doesn't exist, he has nothing to loose. If He does exist, which I am 100% positive, then Euph has everything to loose, for eternity.:cry:

Brenda, I apologize for hijacking, but I do not want Euph or anyone else to believe that Christians stumbling is the same as non-believers denying our God's existance. One leads to Salvation, the other to Hell.:love:
Patty

 

Oh, I also wanted to clarify something, in case my post is misinterpreted. I am not judging Euphs salvation one way or another. Only God knows this. I just wanted to clarify the difference between stumbling/backsliding and true denial.:love:
Personlly, I think Euph is more interested in God then he wants to admit. :angel:
This is hopeful.
Patty

 

it is hopeful.. and I don't think he is truly denying, but we have to meet him where he is.

 

You are correct!:love:
So let's keep praying!!!!! It is people who try to prove that a God doesn't exist, that often become some of the strongest defenders of the faith. This is my prayer.
Patty

 

Been thinking about your post and praying for you, Brenda.
I can write that you are an encouragement to me because I appreciate honesty, the opening up of oneself. God knows all...he sees what no one else can...
Kinda like the going somewhere and asking someone how they are and most all the answers are the same. Fine, thank you...you know...
I like the reply, attitude good, heart right, but the knees hurt. Or, I am having a rough time right now with ____ (fill in the blank)
I did not take your answer the wrong way.
Did you ever visit someone who is dying hoping to bring them joy and come away blessed? Or take time to do for the new mom and in turn she encourages your heart with what God is doing in her life?
Just some thoughts...
(((hugs to you, Brenda)))
((((Hugs to any others who are struggling with part of their life))))

 

No need to apologize... I totally understand what you are saying. For that matter, my public admission may have (and appearently has) caused others to look at their own faith more in depth.

I am still a born again, Bible believing, saved by the blood of Jesus, Christian. There is nothing that important in this world that will ever change that. What did change was when I changed focus on priorities in my life... and that change has not been pleasent. It was when I was down at my lowest point where I realized the changes I need to make in order to have that joy that I once held so close to me.

Dawn... My background is in nursing and I had the pleasure of working with people who were dying - a morbid career maybe but it was the most rewarding one by a long shot - given the opportunity, I'd go back in a heart beat - it was one place I knew I was serving God in a profound way... I can't describe it - it was just amazing.

Euph... I am and will be praying for you. It took a near life and death accident with my husband to get our attention, I don't want to see the same for you.

 

More like fascinated, it's always been interesting to me that people prescribe medication for schizophrenics, humor children with imaginary friends, and regard people who believe in things like ghosts and UFOs as nuts, while at the same time either respecting or actually believing in a supreme being in the universe and following it's book. Christianity isn't so much a "does god exist?" study for me anymore, it's evolved into a study of the hypocrisy and double standards of western culture and human nature.

One can lead to the other, it's happened to me and 2 of my friends. Unfortunately for 2 of us though, it wasn't entirely willing...

"Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of eternal punishment and hope of reward after death." - Albert Einstein

 

So here's my off the wall question for you Euph... did you at any point in your life ever accept Jesus Christ into your life and ask Him to forgive you of your sins (past, present and future)? I'm just wondering - not making judement - just trying to understand where you are coming from... wondering what your experience with Christ has been.

 

my same thought Brenda..
​

 

Who are these people you are referring to? It is common sense, to me anyways, to place schizophrenics on meds because they can be very destructive to themselves and others around them, causing physical destruction. I think this is comparing apples and oranges. Schizophrenia is a mental sickness that is beyond the control of the person who has it.

Now as for people humoring children with imaginary friends, and people who believe in things like ghosts and UFOs being classified as nuts, again I ask, who are these people you are speaking of because it isn't anyone I know.
Most people I know think it is healthy for children to have an imagination. In fact Ems had an imaginary friend named Pepito when she was younger.
I do not believe the world we live in today, being so absorbed in the other world or demons, ghost, psychic phenomenon, etc..., would agree with you. This is actually the norm and is widely accepted. I too believe in "ghosts" but I refer to them as demons. So no, I do not think it is nuts for people to believe in them. I think people are nuts to mess with them.
Just go the movies and see how much money ghost movies bring in. It is amazing. Movies like this make money for one reason and it isn't because people think it nuts. It is because they like it and agree with it.

Praise God I do not suffer from the fear of eternal punishment! I have assurance in my reward after death.

 

Actually I thought this was the most apt comparison. They're not generally destructive, that's only the severe cases, which also adds to the comparison.

Or because people like being scared, or like seeing the blood and gore. If you start talking about seeing UFOs in the sky or seeing ghosts in your house generally people will not believe you, they might humor you though.

Yes I did, twice. Once when I was a little kid and once when I became a teenager.

 

And so can I urge you to cling to what you obviously believed as a young child and again in your (assumably) younger teen years. You made that profession of faith... God is still with you, loves you very much and wants nothing more than to have a relationship with you. The truth that you claimed however many years ago is still undeniably true...

God is real, He is coming back to claim His people and man I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of the fence when He does come.

Still praying for you Euph and I will be for a long time to come... Love and prayers to you