Hmmm, Amie has a good point. I know with my boys I do express when tattling that it must be a serious situation. Now, I am wondering, aside from speaking to the boy, how would you handle the situation if it had been your child abusing Paris? I am not saying it was your son, so really in your situation it is a moot point in that area, I am just wondering how you (or the others) would handle it? The reason I ask is because my nephew recently was over at my Aunts house and he trapped her dog within a dog agility training tunnel (it was incidently over 90F outside). When she asked why, my nephew said, "I want to see how long the dog can hold its breath before he dies." YIPES! About 30 minutes later my nephew (after being lectured to by my aunt) went outside and did it again to her other dog. When asked why, he said, "I really don't know why I did it, it was there and I did it." This time however, my nephew jumped on tunnel scaring the dog. So for my SIL talked to my nephew, called for a psychological evaluation, arranged to go to the human society to see what happens to dogs that have been abused and arranged to have my nephew donate 10% of his allowance to the humane society. He is also grounded from video games, TV, outside for one week and writ emy aunt a letter of apology. I applaud her because I don't know what I would have done.
Jenlynn...your sil sounds like a wise woman. I can't imagine what I would have done if it were my child. My son once pulled my dog's tail and I was furious. LOL. I only spoke with him firmly and it didn't happen again. My dd was just playing with a yo yo and hit my dog on the head with it. My poor dog...he is so innocent that thing like that tick me off. Of course, she didn't get in trouble. However, I told her to be more careful of her surroundings. Next time it may be my 2 year old and I am way more protective over her. lol. Bringing up tattling is an excellent point. Kids often have no discernment in that area. I have seen that time and time again working with kids and having kids of my own. I try to tell my kids that if someone is hurting someone else or destroying property they are to get an adult. I also tell them at any situation that they cannot handle they can also get an adult. If I am that adult...I never embarress the kid by making it look as if the child tattled..ok...that was my day care mode. With my own kids...obviously, if they had to get me the other would know. lol. I even tell my kids that if they are unsure if a situation is tattling than to ask. I say that to keep the line of communication open as I know that their judgement will be impaired from making most decisions as just being children. So, I guess this is how they learn...one minute they are tattling and the next they should have told. confusing...I am sure. That is why I say if someone is getting hurt or destroying property to get an adult. Not sure if that covers all situations. I think it may be hard to define the line at times...so it is a learning experience. I guess we take the risk of a child either not saying something when he should have or tattling. As they grow they will gain more understanding. Maybe it is best if we have conversations with them asking them what they would do in certain situations. Like a 20 questions game. They may help them gain some understanding. I did that when my kids asked to ride their bikes around the block. I quizzed them on what they would do if the other fell and couldn't get up or got hit by a car or whatever. I learned they were clueless (LOL) and they prepared as to prevent them from making a poor decision.
I also don't think it so strange the way Gmom's kids reacted. Intimidation is hard to overcome, and being young, they don't always think of the right response to tough situations! I would just use this as an example of how not to act in the future, discuss what should have been done, and encourage them to tell me in the future, because the dog or one of them could have gotten hurt. I agree with how this was handled too---very good ideas, and it will help them remember and hopefully think it through and make a good decision when something else happens. Keeping the line of communication open is important! That tattling thing is tough! But I like what Ava Rose said about when to tell. I also think I would say my kids were being disciplined not that they were being punished. They didn't really do anything wrong to be punished for. Yes, they SHOULD have let you know, but then their age and inexperience dictates that they just didn't know what to do, so they tuned it out. NOT an unusual reaction for kids at all!
