Hi there. Some of you know about the friend I have who I've been having trouble with (the one who wanted to send all of her kids to my daughter's birthday party instead of just he oldest. And did....but hubby intervened and it worked out THANK YOU FOR PRAYING). The party was today (and a resounding success except for a few minor gliches, most of which was the oldest daughter of this family of my friend). Well, another friend of mine was here helping me, and she was once a teacher for behaviorally challenged kids. She said from the behavior she observed that this girl has some issues...and I don't know how to tell her mother, maybe as a cautionary to have her checked? ALSO, they are due to stay over night in a few weeks. And I want them to and don't want them too, I'm just not sure how to deal with it. I realized today that it is just her oldest who's the problem. The younger two, really listen well, actually, and even though they aren't the most polite, they are really okay kids. This oldest one is not, rude, innappropriate and whines ALL THE TIME. there are NEVER words out of her mouth that are not a whine. Anyway...I need prayer. I need to talk to my friend. I know if it were my daughter, I'd really want to know. I just think I may lose my friend and I don't want to. Anyway... Thanks.
I wil be praying that God leads you in the right direction---with the right words to say. OR that He leads someone to intervene and get this girl the help she needs!!!
I will be lifting you up in prayer. He'll give you the right words. I also pray that He will prepare your friend to hear your words with all the love they are intended.
I will be praying for you. Be very careful. One of my friends had a problem child, and she would say I don't know what to do with him, and I opened my mouth (because she was my friend and I loved her) and I lost her friendship.:cry:
True friend would say what she thinks. If you lose her friendship trying to help her, maybe she wasn't such a friend afterall.
well first how old is she? Then second is she doing it just for attention? because the younger two get more attention? If it's just whining it sounds like to me she is doing it for attention. see what I mean. But, I have to agree with Dolphin if you tell her whats going on and she don't like it then she wasn't a true friend anyway.
This is a sticky situation. I will pray you have the right words to say and her heart is softened enough to hear them as a friend's concern for a friend. I know that I have friends that could tell me anything...anything...even something like this and I would love them for it. However, I guess that depends on the level of friendship or how the situation at home is impacting the family. Is she too prideful or embarressed to hear this right now? Believe me, if her kid is as bad as you say she is aware of it. So, I am sure this won't be news to her. She may be grateful to learn that there may be something more going on.....who knows. Just thread lightly and be all prayed up before talking to her. Please let us know how it goes. Oh...also...if she is mad at first or hurt...give her some time. If she gets mad, stop before she says anything that her pride won't allow her to forget. IF that happens your friendship will be in jepordary. Just tell her that you didn't intend to cause any problems and end the conversation as neatly as possible. Then give her a chance to absorb what was said.
Thanks. Losing this friend is precisely why I'm scared to do it. We've been friends for 15 plus years. We knew each other pre-marriage, pre-kids, etc. We went thru all of it around the same time, our kids were born 2 months apart. She is also the type to hold a grudge. I'm trying to think if there's away to bring to light what might be wrong without really making it about her child - hoping maybe bells and whistles will go off in her head (like one thing her daughter does is walk on her tip toes - ALL the time. Even in shoes, she walks on tip toe - I recall reading that is a symptom for something - like a sensory processing disorder). I was looking into SID b/c I believe my son had some of the symptoms. Truly, this does sound A LOT like her daughter - and to have a person who worked with kids with behavior disorders before mention something, kind of confirms it for me. ANYWAY... Praying about it. She is coming over next week with all the kids, at least for the day next Monday. And I'm hoping that there's open doors in conversation. Thinking maybe I could talk about us investigating the issues with Liam and seeing if it causes her to think. I have quite a few friends who could tell me the hard things and I'd be hurt at first, but would definitely understand that it came from a heart of love and not bitterness. As a matter of fact, a few have. I'm the sort of mom that wants to know if there's issues that need to be addressed. It's my job to train right? Anyway... Thanks for continued prayer.
I know a little boy a church that walks and runs on his tip toes ALL the time. His dad is always reminding him to walk with his heels...or...walk normal. Some of us wondered if there was more to that. huh. I think using your son as the focus is a brillant idea. That keeps things more on the level of two friends talking about what one heard...kinda thing. Remember...this isn't your responsiblity. Once you go over this information and try to enlighten her that is all you can do. Don't stress over it. Just keep the conversation steered on your kid. You may even say, "my friend said that walking on your toes is a symptom...doesn't your dd do that...have you noticed any other symptoms...just trying to think this through..." Ya know...something like that. You can't force her eyes open. I am willing to bet she knows more than you think or suspects something...she has to know how her kid acts even in comparison to her other kids. Or maybe she doesn't. hopefully, she will be grateful to have someone to talk to.
Krista, I will pray for you. I know that you have had issues with this family for a while. I know and trust that you will listen to the HS to lead you. I know that there will be some tough times in your friendship. But you owe it to the girl to try and get her some help. Don't think about it to much, but pray instead for the HS leading. If it is God's will then the conversation will lead you a to chance. I am praying that you are obedient to His guidence. Aggie
Yes you should have some printed material with highlighted parts to hand her about what you think is going on. Tell her that you noticed some of ____'s habbits and you remembered reading about someone else that had it (say you saw it here if it makes it easier)---- that way you don't have to say you looked up stuff for that kid. If the mom has a hard time with you telling her stuff, then you'll still know that you did the right thing by helping her discover things about her daughter. It may take some time for her to get over it, but I bet if you are really great friends she will come back to your friendship.
