Not sure where to put this, so I'm putting it here...

hoping that my Christian sisters here will understand.

I have a very good friend I met a year ago. She is sweet, and dear and I love her. My kids love her kids. Her kids love my kids.

She homeschools, she's a christian, etc. And I love her.

That being said, I envy her!!! They live in a nicer house, her daughter's a piano vituoso, smart...she also takes gymnastics...not wher emy daughter goes...but somewhere else.

I talked ot her today and she told me they just put their daughter in a 2nd class for gymnastics. So she takes one for fun, and one for serious learning. all at the same gym.

I'm just envious...they always seem to have money to do the things I can't. Art class, drama class, piano lessons, extra gym classes, etc. It makes me feel like I'm cheating my kids out of some experience, yet I'm trying to get them into things we can afford.

I know it's wrong, and I know it's me. She is NOT BOASTFUL or PRIDEFUL or ANYTHING. She's sweet, wonderful and totally genuine. So this is MY issue, not hers. And I love her dearly and hate being so danged gummed jealous!!!

It's sin, obviously. Sin. AHHHHHH!!!!

 

You recognize it and you fight it, don't feel bad about that. I think sometimes feeling to guilty about our sins gets in the way of working to get rid of them or at least it can with me. What I've done in similar circumstances is simply accept thats how I'm feeling at the moment and then resolve to weed it out. Notice when I'm feeling jealous and then actively turn my thoughts in a more generous direction. I don't knwo if it'll help but it's what works for me.

 

Praying for you to have control over this feeling. I, too have dealt with that and so has my dh. His 2 brothers both have a lot more money and "things" then we have, but we have a home, food, our health, 2 cars and a very loving family.

 

Sometimes things look good from the outside, looking in!

They could be riddled with debt to continue this lifestyle, just be happy with what you have and don't think abou what you don't. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

 

I have the same issue a lot.. I try to hold onto this:
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor 10:5

It's hard, especially at first.. but it helps. :love:

 

Krista, I'm sending you big (((hugs)))! When I feel like this, I always try to rember that Satan is crafty and is always looking for a way to prevent me from serving God. Stay strong!

Psalm 119:110 - "The wicked have set a trap for me,
But from your orders I have not wandered."

 

Krista, I KNOW where you are coming from. I have been there. I am glad you are bringing it up so you can pray and be prayed for. I was in such a state once that I couldn't even be happy for the successes that others had. I hated myself for that. I was so envious at times that I just didn't need to hear how blessed someone else was. Instead of taking strength in the blessings of others or simply praising the Lord for blessing my friend...I was envious. AFter praying and constantly rebuking myself...I once again can honestly praise the Lord for the blessings of others. We all go through a thing every now and then. We all have bumps in our spiritual walk. It takes a truly Godly woman to talk about those bumps and ask for help.

 

I guess I understand.

I don't drive. Therefore even if we could afford to have the kids in scouts, gymnastics, karate, dance class, art class or such I can't get them there.

I really feel bad.

 

Thanks Ladies - I know i have it good, that's why my ungrateful heart is so hurtful to me. And as I said, this woman is very dear and we are very close. I want to be happy for her, not jealous. Thanks for praying, please don't stop!

 

I believe that every sin that has ever been committed since Eve bit into the forbidden fruit is based in selfishness, which is loving ourselves above loving the Lord. That is may be why when we commit one sin it is the same as committing them all in the Lord's eyes.

We always want more, but we must discipline our selfish nature to be content with what God wills. There is nothing wrong with asking Him to provide something that you would like for your children, your family, or even yourself, but we must also accept that our plans, hopes, and dreams, may not be compatible to His plans. And, really that is where your discontent lies--not with your friend, but what she represents to you: opportunities for her children that God has not provided for yours.

I find the best thing to do in times like this is to have a little talk with Jesus.

 

All sin falls into three catogories...well that is what I learned in a bible class. It seemed odd to me with so many sins out there. I was told that all sin would fall into pride, lust of the eyes or lust of the flesh. The devil tempted Jesus in all three of these areas. I suppose if you boil it all down selfishness would be in all three catorgories. The word tells us that our hearts are evil and deceptive. Yet, there is hope, of course. To allow the holy spirit to grow in us and the Lord to guide us we can learn to love properly. I guess we are all big kids in the end, huh? lol.

 

You hit seeking! That is the nail on the head.

That is what is breaking my heart. YES...been talking to God about this. He has blessed us incredibly, I'm being a selfish brat!

 

(((hugs))) The Sword of the Lord is what will help you overcome! Meaning the Word of God!
Memorize or have some scripture in front of you, available to you to read when you start having thoughts like this. God is our Strength and our Refuge and an Ever Present Help in the time of trouble. He will give you victory! Read what you have chosen even if you don't feel like it or don't want to. The devil would love to see you wallow! Don't give him the victory...give yourself and your mind and your heart to Jesus!
You can do it and we will hold you up!
Know the account in the Bible of Moses and the two guys holding up his arms? I will have to find it.
Maybe someone else knows it...
I am needing to log off...
I will pray for you!
((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

 

I don't hear you being envious at all. I hear you wishing you could do more for your brood. To me, Betty and Wilma said it best 'CHAAAAAARGE IIIIIITTT!!' If I don't have the money for something I want Jeannie in, I will charge it. I used the small tax return last year to pay for camp all summer for her. I spend zero on myself, I'm not loose with the money all year long, so I feel okay putting her in so many things.

(BTW- I wonder how many are going to say 'Who's Betty and Wilma?? LOL!)

 

NOt me! I know who they are! I used to watch them and their husbands, Barney and Fred, when I was a kid!

 

Everyone has posted such wonderful replies, and I can't add much. I just want to say that there are probably others looking at you and your situation who envy or admire you. It's so hard not to compare. I struggle with that, too.

 

LOL, Deena- we have so many younger moms on here now. The Smurf Generation, lol.

 

I have a friend just like this. But she has 5 kids. And has the money to all these things for all of them. I have 4 and can only do a few things and my ILs are paying for most of that! She will call and tell me about things alot and Ive got to where I dont answer the phone. That is terrible I know. But I hate to keep telling her I dont have the money. So I know how you feel. I try not to be envious, but its hard sometimes. Doesnt make it right though. Just pray for strength.

 

Well, I can't say I agree with that. Probably because that thinking is what got me into the financial difficulty I have today. Not saying, Becky, that you are irresponsible. You may very well have excellent credit and only charge what you can afford. I think that for many type of control is difficult to maintain. Of course that may say more about that person than your advice...LOL.

 

You know, I had something similar. I had "house envy," big time. We live in a small house that for a long time was in very rough shape as my husband was remodeling it (while we lived here, no fun!).

What helped me was, on a good day, make a physical list of blessings. Then, when I was having an envy moment, I looked at it. It was easier to "count my blessings" and to realize I don't know everyone else's whole story if I had a physical piece of paper helping me.

HTH,

Dana