I posted yesterday about how to get started and was so happy to get all of your wonderful replies. I have one other problem/concern and thought it might be more appropriate to post as a separate thread. My daughters are in private Christian school and I mentioned before that I believe I'm being led to take them out and homeschool them. I'm looking into it and am considering starting in the fall (they would start 2nd and 4th grades). My problem is that my husband isn't entirely supportive of this. We've talked about it and from what I can tell his main concern is ME. He thinks I might get too overwhelmed and worries that I wouldn't have any time without the kids. I'll admit that running an errand alone is nice and so is having some peace and quiet, but having my kids away from me all day and getting the "leftovers" isn't the solution either. My oldest daughter is doing really well in school and would probably do well in just about any setting. My younger daughter is having some problems though. She's smart, but bored easily and is a daydreamer. She's not ADD or ADHD, but does have trouble focusing and keeping up with her class. I've been spending almost all of my time outside of school working with her and DH has been helping a lot, too. I can't help but think that we would all be so much better off doing this at home during "school" hours, rather than during "family" time. There is no way I would want to do this without my husband 100 percent on board. He's a great dad and may not realize how much teaching we already do. The more I look into it and pray about it the more I'm convinced it's right for us. DH would have to feel that way, too and needs to come to that realization for himself. I'm so sorry to go on about this. If any of you have advice I would appreciate it so much.
Well from personal experience I did feel overwhelmed while getting used to a routine, but that was the main adjustment to all of it. But for the fact of not having time without kids around really is not a factor. Because there is always ways and times to get "you" time. On your husband days off you could arrange a set amount of time that you go and do something by yourself or such. But personally I have not noticed that having my children around all of the time to be to overwhelming. It is not much different than when they were little and were not in school. Just remember that it is not set in stone once you start to homeschool and let your husband know that the only way to find out how it will effect your family is to try it. Personally I really think it will make you a stronger and closer family. (not saying you are not one, but I know that it has brought my family even closer than what we ever were before.) I hope my ramblings make some since. Good luck with everything and all will go the way God wants it to go.
Well, we're new to this adventure too. We started last March when we moved. At first, DH was sort of on board but thought we needed to do Abeka Academy or one of the other ones so that we'd have a transcript, etc. After talking with the kids current school, soon realized that it just was necessary (although nothing wrong with it). So we chatted some more....I read a million other things....I showed him how bad the schools were where the Army was sending us (like the report showing # of weapons per year in X school, etc)....pointed out all the stats, etc. Good or bad, DH did not like school growing up so he was more receptive than I thought. He likes the fact that he knows our kids are safe at home, learning at the pace they need, etc. He also knows that I'm a much more challenging teacher then they would probably get elsewhere. Their old school in KY was great. I knew everyone, I was on PTO, helped in the classrooms,etc. We didn't know a soul when we moved here and knew that the VA attendance policy due to their required testings would NOT be conducive to family life (my DH is in the Army and has been in Iraq/Saudi for most of the last 4 years). Although it was an adjustment (since the kids had new surroundings, etc), DH and I agree that we have done the right thing. Won't lie, I do miss having some of my "mommy time" to run errands without 3 kids.....I try to do as much as I can when DH is home in the evenings or on the weekends. Our kids sometimes mention the possibility of returning to school but I don't think any of them are truly interested in the schools here in....they mostly miss their friends in KY....all their friends in VA are homeschoolers or church friends....so why go to the PS...none of their new friends are there :lol:. Educationally, they're all moving right along. My oldest was in gifted at her other school and was still strifled a bit....she's finally able to do things as fast (or slow) as she needs and has finally developed a love of reading. Sorry to ramble....just keep talking and when you find some good info...share it with him...or better yet, hand him the article to read for himself. Rhonda C.
I am a firm believer in not homeschooling without your husband's "permission" or "approval" or whatever you want to call it. But to me, that doesn't necesarily mean he's behind it "100%". If he's willing to let you "try" it for a year, then go with that! I was a certified teacher with ten years experience behind me, and my DH STILL had some concerns about whether I could "handle it", lol!!! But those concerns were all gone by the end of the first year. So it may take a little time for you to "prove" yourself to him. Believe me, you WILL. If he's worried about you not being able to get away from the kids, he'll just have to arrange for it to happen! He can take the kids away for a half-day once a month on Saturday, and let you have some "time off".
You survived Christmas break ok, right? You survive the summer, right? How is this any different? I do agree with Jackie, though. You need to have your husband's permission, but not anything more than that. What if you agreed to start your school year August 1st? Then you'd have a few weeks of school under your belt before the school year officially started. That way you could have a test run and still be able to put them in school if he still was opposed. If you feel he'll need more convincing than that, you could start as early in the summer as you'd like. Pray for him. If this truly is what God wants for your family, He will tell your husband.
This is what I did. Homeschooling had never entered my mind, once it did I started researching like crazy. Once I had a lot of facts I started talking with DH about it. He was not that keen on the idea. I just kept giving him tid bits here and there and praying about it. He now 100% backs me on homeschooling and tells everyone who asks this is what we will be doing for our kids education. I agree if this is the avenue that God has for your family, he will soften your DH to that.
I've also found that including him on my curriculum choices really makes a difference, too. I started with a simple question, and found out that he really had an opinion on which history book I should use. He told me straight out that he didn't want us using "Story of the World", because it came from a secular world view. (And this was AFTER I was already sold on it, lol!) I still do all the researching, but wil discuss with him what I'm finding out, what I want to do and why. He feels more "included", and that makes a BIG difference!
I guess I kind of misspoke when I said DH needed to be 100 percent on board. I meant that I wouldn't ever want to homeschool unless DH is agreeable to it. You're all absolutely right that I need him to agree to try it out - the 100 percent (or any percentage LOL!) would come later.
If your dh is concerned that you would be overwhelmed, maybe he would be willing to take the kids for awhile once a week or something, and you go out for a couple of hours alone. That would give you that break. Also, and this is something I have done from day one of homeschooling (in fact, we were actually doing it before we started homeschooling), and something Jackie from Ohio advocates as well: You should always have a quiet time built into your day. The amount of time is up to you. That's when your kids are in their rooms, or separated somehow from each other for, say, 30 minutes. During that time they nap, or read or do quiet things, and you do "pamper me" stuff. No, you canNOT grade papers or clean house, etc. You MUST do relaxing/calming things, whatever that means for you! When my boys were little, before dd was born, my dh and I went to "Growing Kids God's Way" classes. I don't agree with everything they said, but this was one thing we implemented, and it was GREAT! It helped the kids learn they could be quiet for a certain length of time, and it gave me a breather so I was more ready for the rest of the day! As they got older and were reading during that time, it became Quiet Reading time, then we shortened it to QRT. They actually would beg me to let them have a few more minutes to read when I would tell them QRT was over!
Deena, now I KNOW our kids were meant for each other!!! Someone gave me the "Growing Kids God's Way" stuff before Rachael was born. Like you say, I don't agree 100% with it, but I used it to some degree with all three. (BTW, Popsickle, I've done a pretty good job brainwashing these ladies when it comes to "Mommy Time"! As Deena said, it should NOT be an option!!!)
It IS interesting finding out the similarities we have, huh? I know your oldest and my oldest would be just thrilled with your above post! NOT! :lol:
Our situation is a little different in that DH was always 100% for the idea of homeschooling, but *I* was the reluctant one for the very reason you mention. I have always been the kind of person that needs a decent amount of time alone to be happy. So we had the kids in private Christian school, were paying out the nose for tuition, and I had some "me" time. It was nice, but it surprised me how lonely it felt sometimes. (I have never, ever been one to feel anything but happy when I get downtime alone!) :lol: Then things started going wrong at the school, and it's a long story, but I honestly believe that everything unfolded the way it did because homeschooling is God's will for our family. I was the one who was always selling DH on the virtues of private school...I really should've just trusted him and God a lot sooner, and we'd have all been a whole lot happier! Anyway, I have an unspecified autoimmune disease. It's not lupus exactly, but the symptoms are very similar. Because of that, I'm frequently tired, have joint pains, and other strange symptoms. SO many of my friends were concerned when I took on homeschooling, thinking I couldn't handle it, it would be too much stress on me, etc. Plus, knowing how I am about needing time alone, honestly, a few of them thought I was nuts. But it's been the best thing we ever did. And one way that I know I'm living out God's will for our family is that my urge for downtime, my need to be away from my family, is basically gone. Now I'm not saying I'm superwoman...I need a break just like any other mom on the planet. But that strong drive I used to get to be alone, it's just gone. Like others have said, I do errands by myself on the weekends or evenings. And I'm finding I really like being around my kids this much! :lol: Maybe it's because these kids are not the same overtired, overworked little grumps they were in school :wink:...we just enjoy each other more, it seems. Anyway, all that to say: my experience has been that those kind of details take care of themselves if it's what you're supposed to be doing. And if it's not, then you'll know. HS doesn't have to be a permanent choice if it doesn't work for your family, ya know? P.S. I forgot to add that with regard to my autoimmune condition, HS is so much easier than structuring life around a school schedule! If I'm having a bad morning, I can rest instead of rushing the boys through the super-early assembly line to get them out the door on time. If I'm really tired all day, we read a lot and I let them have extra-long PE in the back yard. The flexibility, honestly, is 100x better for my condition than sending them to school ever was. It's actually less stressful, and lots of people can't imagine that's true. But it is.
Okay, now I will be on the other side of the fence haha! I want to say your hubby is right you will be overwhelmed! I get way overwhelmed and upset at times but the good thing is that I always come back to the good reasons I home school my kids. When I get overloaded I find its not the schooling that is the problem but the other activities I try to stuff in on the side, so I close out one or two of those. I have to admit it is not always a social mama that I am.... in fact I laughed at my ds yesterday when he talked to me about the social issue that everyone discusses, its the Mom who looses out on social time as we are busy with our children, but I am a mom, regardless of how much time I spend with my children I am desined to be that mom. Am I making sence? Being a TEACHER MOM< or a Mom who teaches her kids is a blessing, in more ways than we can express but it really does get overhwelming at times and thats why I agree be sure your dh is on board because he will have to be willing to pick up the slack, teaching your children is not a single teacher job, at least not to me. I would let your dh post some questions or worries he may have and see if these wonderful wise ladies on this site can help him understand how it works? It couldn't hurt?
TMom, I agree. Sometimes the KIDS are FINE, it's US who need the social outlet! :lol: Really! So do make sure you get adult friendships in along the way!
No, we don't have any more, she's a fixed kitty. Too bad though, she IS adorable! She's sweet and loves being with us. Sometimes we just walk in the room where she is and she'll start purring! I just LOVE her! As she's getting older there is more of a brown tinge to her fur, which is so pretty! But sorry, you can't have her, my dd would be brokenhearted!
Thats okay I Understand.. sniff sniff... someday God will show up wiht a kitten for me! hehe, I almost had one that was orange once, but I thought someone was going to take it already so didnt ask dh, he said if I wanted it I could have had it, but we didnt find out till the owner went home that the other person did not get to take it, waaa, hehe, I love kittens! ALmost as much as horses,
I like the quiet reading time idea. My oldest already does that on her own. She's like me and needs time to "decompress" and be alone. I have a hard time keeping her in books. Just got back from the library with another stack. It's a great problem to have LOL! My youngest would be more difficult, but as long as she had a clock or timer she'd probably be fine. I was wondering if anyone has made arrangements with another homeschooling mom or found a great homeschooling sitter or....any other good suggestions. I'm trying to be armed and prepared when the objections come my way. Can you tell? :lol:
Your younger one might need training. My middle one sure did! Set the timer, and don't let her come down asking, "IS IT TIME YET???" I got to the place where I told Faythe that if she asked, I would add an extra five minutes AFTER the timer went off! GEE! I never had to actually DO that, lol!
One thing we did with our little ones when we first started was make a tape (yes, back then we had things called tape recorders! :lol: ). DS and I would say the kids' memory verses and sing the abc song, tell a story, etc. The kids could listen to that so they wouldn't feel afraid of being alone, or whatever. But no other music or noise. They loved those tapes with mommy's and daddy's voices on them! After awhile we weaned them off those to just quiet, NO noise. Having those tapes, though, made the transition easier for them!
