Melly541, Not sure what you will finally decide is best for your family. But what ever you and your Dh choose, I hope you choose based on what is best according to YOUR beliefs. The board will support your choice either way. Hoping you have a great day!
Hi Deena. Yes , we have report cards for our daughter, we started her in Kindergarten when she was 4 1/2 half, because she was ready, she's very advanced. Possibly gifted, but I won't have her tested. We use Abeka DVD program 1, they do report cards, and with that program, they keep all the records, and transcripts. If you decide to transfer out, they take care of sending the transcripts. It's alot easier than having to keep all the records yourself. I hate to admit, I am not the most organized person, this is why I wanted that program. I have to keep no records at all, I just keep her report cards in a file, even though they have all of it in their computers. She finished K5 very early, and had a break. She turned 5 in October, and is now doing first grade, her grades are excellent. So I know I'm not giving her more than she can handle, if that happens, we'll step back. Anyway, just wanted to explain, and yes, it's great that they are allowed to go at their own pace, isn't it? My daughter loves homeschool, probably because she can do it in her jammies, and start when ever she's ready. Anyway, better stop, way too late for making a long story short!! LOL! Blessings, Dianna
Melly, I'll be 43 in April and there are still times when I feel like I'm 5 yrs old around my mom. There comes a time, though, when we have to remember we're a mom now, too, and what we feel is best for our kids is our business, not anyone else's.
Dianna, Yeah, it's good to have records. I'm not that organized either, but I did manage to keep some of the stuff that I felt showed what we had done, and I made up a "School Years" book that has the info in it. Since records and grades aren't required, and we decided to be more eclectic in our approach (we used some of A Beka stuff but not the whole curriculum), we just didn't bother with grades. Once my kids hit 8th grade, I do keep grades though, and I make up a transcript from our homeschool for them. My oldest ds is at a school this year (he's a junior in highschool---and getting 4.0 there, I might add! So I'm a proud mom too! ), and the school took the transcripts, no questions asked! I was a bit concerned when I made them, wondering....but very pleased when they accepted them fine! Yeah, I think kids are soooo different, that it's wonderful to have so many choices and ways to do things now-days! And I feel each approach is good if it's working for the child and family! THAT is what's important after all! I think all young children are brilliant, if not gifted! :love: Each child has their strong points, and it's amazing to see them do so well!
Deena, Wow, I'm glad they took the transcripts without questions! We live in a very small town, we have only public schools here, nothing else. They hate homeschooling so bad here, that they will look for anything to give homeschool parents a hard time, so I give them absolutely no room to question us. I even keep a letter at all times with me in my purse showing proof that my daughter is enrolled in a homeschool program with abeka, they supply you with that., it's signed, and has a number for them to call, incase they try to say your child is truant from school. I'm not saying wer'e being persecuted, but they don't like us. Too bad! The scores the public schools get here, are pretty low. But anyway, this is why we chose the DVD program, Everything is kept on record at the academy. So, nobody can say anything. I read that they are giving kids that were homeschooled a hard time getting into some universities in NM, if they were not schooled with a fully accredited homeschool program. One more reason. Anyway, that's the scoop over here. Too bad they don't wake up and smell the coffe, they should see that in most cases, homeschool kids out perform public school students on test scores. Lots of write up's in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. I Love it. Well, that's it for now, I need to get tomorrows lessons ready, it's a test day. Good night. Blessings, Dianna
Wow. I've been lucky enough to have the support of basically everyone I know. (Except for one SIL but I think that's a defensive thing.) I think the best thing you can do with your family is not let this be a matter for discussion. It's hard to not see your family (sometimes I wish I could). But every time they bring this up say "This is not up for discussion" and change the subject. If they won't stop then hang up the phone or leave. Soon enough they'll get the point. You are not a bad mom for wanting to homeschool, in fact just the opposite! You know what's best for your family so go ahead and do it! We're here for you! Amy
I don't really have anything to add. I have been reading the wonderful responses and everyone has given some excellent advise. Just wanted to offer my support, we are all here if you need us. Blessings! Katie
I have to agree with the person who mentioned counseling. It took counseling for me to realize that trying to seek to approval of my mother (not just on the homeschooling issue!) was a wasted effort. I 100% agree with those who commented on the fact that you, your husband, and your child(ren) are your family. You need to take care of YOUR family, and find a way to not be bothered by what other relatives think. I am guessing that this is not an isolated issue for you either. It sounds like you are being treated like a child who needs to be told what is right and wrong. Don't let them treat you like that! I can totally relate. I have been there, but now a lightbulb goes off when my mother is critical, and I realize that trying to argue my point with her is useless. I too had to decide what kind of relationship to have with my parents, and had to make the difficult decision to put some distance there. As a result, I am happier and more at peace with life and homeschooling. You ARE doing what is best for your child. Do they really think you have bad intentions or that you aren't smart enought to make a good decision???? Give yourself some credit for going against the grain, and choosing to do what you feel is right for you and your family. I encourage you to sign up for alpha omega's daily devotional. It has helped me through some of those days! Go to www.aop.com click on "support" click on "e-news" and check "Daily Focus" Your child is blessed to have such a caring mom!
WOw, Dianna, That's too bad! Trust me, your dd is so much better off homeschooling! And that's one good reason to have programs like A Beka and Bob Jones and others that have those full programs and keep records and grades. I'd probably be doing the same kind of thing, just to be safe! I'm glad I didn't ahve to though! It's one less worry for me with homeschooling 3 for so long, and my organizational skills are stinky to non-existent! But I LOVED being able to get a variety of things that worked for my kids. None of them did well with one curriculum. So you and I live in the right places-- I can be eclectic, and you can use the program that covers the bases for you, and both of us can know our children are getting good educations and we can feel happy about what we're doing! Best wishes to you!
sorry, its so hard for you. I just had to cut ties from my family all together and say enough is enough and go from there. Yea once in awhile they will e mail me and say something really smart. I just try to cut it off. I will be truthful to you yes it's hard. But, when my dh and I got married our pastor told us, we are family now our own family and we need to make our memories and do things the way we want. So, I have been trying to remember that and get on. I just told dh and the girls the other day it's there lost not ours if they choice to be so dumb and not look at the good side. I have even told them there is a bad side to ps but I never rub that into them. I am waiting for the Dr. Philp show to air this Friday I am sure my comptuer will be over log with message from them about why I shouldn't homeschool. But, thank God the comptuer has a delete button on it.
My family is the type that if they aren't fighting, they aren't living. I think they feel alive when "We have a problem, we're living now". Anyway, having a relationship with my family is like taking poison on a daily basis, can't be done. I finally had to decide whether or not it was worth it to me to always have someone calling to fight and such. I decided that my relationship with my dh and dc was more important that the psycosis that I had to endure with the rest of the family. I told them, "I love you, but you make it difficult to like you and I have to do what is best for my family and distance myself from you. My mom is the type that likes to be in control and manipulate, I don't allow that to happen any more. Hope things work out.
I agree with what has been posted. The only people who have a say as to how Handsome and I raise Ems, is Handsome and I. We are her parents. Handsome had to talk to his sister and kindly tell her that this is what we were going to do. Negetive comments aren't welcome.
I will admit I did not read all the responses. First of all, I am completely shocked at your mom's response. I am also shocked you give a hoot..but maybe I am the rebellious type. LOL. You do not need your family's permission to do what is best for your child. You are also not responsible for your family's outbursts and disapproval. They have no right to try and raise YOUR child. You and your dh have control over this issue. I think you should just tell your family that they are not to make comments about your decision in anyway to you or YOUR CHILD! If they make it impossible to be around them that is their doing. My mil and fil first thought I was nuts. However, as time went on both now see the benefits of homeschooling and are supportive. Not that I cared anyway. My dad didn't care at all. My mom was happy I decided to homeschool. She does get concerned with lack of friends or socialization...which I will give her that. Anyone not completely familar with homeschooling has those same concerns. Yet, overall my mom loves the idea. However, if she didn't, that would be her problem. You may think that is easy for me to say since I don't have your problem but believe me I know what you are going through. My mother would have drugged me and kept me in a tower to keep me from marrying my dh but I did anyway. LOL. (my dh is an awesome, awesome, man...but he happens to be black and I am white...that was our problem. So, you see the choice to homeschool after going through that was no biggie. LOL)
I do not know your family, so I cannot say weather this is a good idea, but.. Perhaps you could defuse the situation by sitting down and talking with your mother this way... Mom, I know you are passionate about this because deep down you care. I appreciate that. I really do. It is your job to speak up if you think we are in trouble and I thank you for that. But we need to find a common ground, because as much as I love you, I must do what I feel is best for my family. And because you love us, you need to investigate what you are arguing for, or against. I do not expect you to change your mind. But I will ask you to take a week to read information. Investigate the information for yourself, and see if you and I cannot at least agree to disagree. Also, our choice to privately direct the education of our children is not because we felt you did such a bad job. It is not about condemning you. It is just that the world has changed and currently, this is what we believe is best. Anyway, this is just an idea...
Wow! I am just overwhelmed with all of the wonderful words of wisdom and support! Thank you all so much! I cannot say just how glad I am to have stumbled upon this site. Again, thank you all so much! Reading through the responses, I have to say I'm quite saddened that so many people have had to distance themselves from family & friends over this decision. Such a shame... How can the idea of homeschooling be so abhorrent to some that they'd be willing to risk relationships with loved ones? Not that I'd ever be brave enough to ask any of my family that particular question. Y'all really did have some awesome ideas & I so appreciate the kind words. You all are absolutely right that we need to make sure they know that the issue is not up for debate; nor will we entertain any criticism. I'm leaning towards letting my husband break the news when the time comes, as he's far less willing to succumb to the bullying & would just say "alright, that's it. Done." while I would still try to win them over. One more big "thanks!" to you lovely ladies! ...off to learn how to make bean dip...
it seems at times i have to deal with the same type of attitude from my inlaws and my own mom. I've gotten to the point that i just let them rant/talk and let it go in one ear and out the other. The biggest thing i get from them is the socialization topic. right now they are all excited about my younger 2 starting kindergarten at the public school because it will be so good for them. little do the relatives know but we are going to be homeschooling my younger 2 starting this summer. When school starts only class they will get at public school is pe and speech therapy which they both need. I'm almost dreading telling the relatives because i know what theire reactions will be. But i always remember it is hubby's and my decision on how to raise our kids and relatives can have their opinions but it don't affect our decisions. I let my oldest go to middle school this year because it was best for him and oh boy did the relatives jump for joy. it was a funny site
You should react the same way to them (Jump for joy) the next time they do something meaningless to YOU, such as move a chair to the other side of the room... or move a cup to the kitchen.. anything that is meaningless and has no effect on YOUR life.... Tell them, "OH FINALLY! I never thought you would EVER come around to the "REAL WORLD!"... See how THEY like it... :twisted: Ok, I am just being silly... My funny bone is acting up.. hahaha!
I will never understand why families have to put their nose where it doesnt belong. My mom would try to manipulate and control me by doing the..................... Well if you don't do this, I am going to write you out of my will. How many times can someone be written out of a will? :roll: I would just tell her that I wasn't interested in her money and to pleeease write me out of the will once and for all so we can move on to a new threat. I set boundries and family members know their are certain things that aren't open to discussion, so they don't even go there. Someone once told me, "We teach people how to treat us".
