I grew up with no chores. Really. I never had to do a thing. I vowed not to make the same mistake with my own kids. However, I sometimes don't know if my kids are doing too much or not enough or what is age approiate. My kids are 10 and 8. I had each take two nights a week to do dishes. Is that too much? They can do the job. That is not the problem. The problem is...I am wondering if they should be taking on dishes at this point. They have other chores also...but mostly those that involve their rooms.
Well, it probably depends on if you trust them to do it. I don't let my kids put away dishes in the top cabinet (plates & bowls) because the reach is a little too high. But mostly I have them unload the dishes in the dishwasher (I load it because I'm picky about fitting things in). my DS, takes out garbage (because he is tall enough to lift the bag into the big cans outside) he also sifts the cat box. DD is in charge of putting in a new garbage bag sometimes I have them load or unload the laundry (the boys are not to put the soaps in) one DD clears the table in the morning for school.
Me, too. My older 2 (9 & 12)can reach the plates/bowls and glasses, but I put away the casserole dishes that are on the top shelf. The younger two (4 & 6) do the plastic bowls, pots and pans, and silverware. Those are low enough for them.
It really depends on the kid and how your family operates. My mom is friends with an Amish family and I remember going to their house once and they had a stool at the sink so the little girl could wash the dishes. I think she was 3 or 4. We don't have specific jobs for ds, we just tried to raise him with the attitude that we all help out when things need done. So far it's worked out well.
Also, it depends on what you mean by "doing dishes". Is that wiping them off and putting them in the dishwasher, or is it filling a sink up with hot, sudsy water and actually washing them, then drying them? Right now, our dishwasher isn't working so I will have the kids actually wash/dry. Or sometimes I wash, and they (even Phillip) helps to dry and put them away. When the dishwasher is working, they are responsible to fill and empty it.
I am teaching them in small snip-its. My dds 4 and 3 will both rinse and put in the drainer after I handwash the plastics and items I do not put in the dishwasher. They do this standing on a chair next to me. I wash in the one side of the sink, they rinse in the other. All dc 4,3 and 2, help put away silverware and non breakables from the dishwasher. I expect by 7 or 8 they could be totally responsible for loading the dw, handwashing and putting away all the dishes.
We don't have a dishwasher so my kids have to fill the sink and wash the dishes. My ds does not put them away. However, my dd is tall enough and responsible enough to dry and put them away. They do a really good job. My ds sometimes does a poor job on glasses...funny he can clean a yucky pot but glasses get him. lol. I just have him redo them or I do them, no biggie. My almost 3 year old helps me do dishes. She loves it. lol. She does a pretty good job also. So, I suppose at 8 and 10, I can let them have a dish day or two. I just sometimes need to make sure I am on track since I never did chores as a kid. My dh had chores and didn't remember doing dishes until he was 11 or 12. He thought 8 may be a bit young. However, my son does a great job...other than glasses. lol.
I'm having a hard time with chores- but mostly it's just ME! When I was growing up I was the oldest child, so I did plenty of the chores! It was not bad, I just thought for my kids I would wait a little longer for some of those responsibilities. Then, when my oldest DS was young, his best friend was responsible for doing his own laundry. He had a step stool to try and reach the washing machine, and he had to do loads of he and his brothers laundry. He was FOUR! So I really backed off on the whole "chore" thing!! My boys are 13, 11 and 8. They are responsible for setting and clearing the table at every meal (and usually load the dishes right into the dishwasher). My oldest helps run the washer and dryer, and all three put away their own laundry when clean. Once a week each one vacuums the house (so it's done three times a week)- and they will help with dusting, etc if I point them in the right direction. The two younger ones also clean their bathroom on the weekend- mirrors, tub, sink, etc. That is what is working for us right now. They have other chores in their rooms, taking care of pets, mowing the lawn and cleaning up after the dog, etc- but I figure those are "normal" chores. So, I think your kids can do the dishes a couple of nights. (My sisters and I used to sing while doing dishes- I still think of singing "Do Lord" or singing songs in rounds and grin!) MT3
My six year old does dishes when I need her too. She also loads (I'll rinse them off) and unloads the dishwasher. Her 10 y/o brother puts them away. SHe also sweeps, mops, dusts, wipes the BR down, makes beds, sets/clears the table,folds laundry ,as needed, some on a daily basis. DS10 does all of the above plus trash, pet care and yardwork. We believe that they need to be trained in all areas to work with a good attitude. This is easier if they are trained at a younger age. Here's a few articles about age appropriate chores: http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/9-1article11.htm http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PreschoolersandPeace/*NEW*+Chores/
Training them at a young age takes a lot of work. It doesn't mean telling them"go do xyz." It's working along beside them. Teaching as you go. Sometimes it's exhausting but it's part of life. It also comes back to bless you. I hurt my back pretty bad back in Feb. I couldn't hardly move for about a week and still couldn't lift for about 4-5 weeks. My kids really stepped up and helped me out. They did their chores, they did some of mine and followed my verbal instructions when I couldn't be beside them. Our house would have fallen apart if it wasn't for their help. I don't ask that of them every day but it is nice to know that I can depend on them and that they will be prepared for their own homes later in life.
Thanks everyone! I was looking at chores as a learning experience and not just to get things done. So, I am failing at not doing the chores with them. I usually assign chores I know they can do after I have instructed and showed them. After that, I allow them to do them on their own. I do need to make it more of a time spent between us. Well, I feel better about the chores assigned to my kids. I was starting to worry I was overloading them. They have other chores also around the house and not just dishes. However, I dont' think any of their chores are that big of deal. yet, growing up doing nothing it is hard for me to discern since I don't have a model to follow.
Sounds like you're on your way. One of the things that motivated me was dinner with a woman my age who made dinner for a group one night. She said her mother never showed how to work in the kitchen she just kind of winged it. That can be a good thing some times- when you're on your own. Not for a group. It was not a good thing that night.
I have three kids so we divide everything three ways. Kids love to see instant gratification for their work, so the first thing we do is the "Big Pick Up". (This rotates with who does what on a daily basis, we even have a matrix chart set up. It rotates each day for six days and on Sundays no one does chores.) One person collects all the dirty clothes all over the house and gets them to the laundry room. One person collects all the trash and any dishes and gets it to the kitchen. One person collects any and all shoes and toys and gets them to their appropriate room. This takes about 5 minutes and the place looks fabulous once they do it, and they feel proud of their efforts. Then we head off to the laundry to get it started. One person loads the washer and hands the washed clothes to the dryer person. The dryer person gets the washed clothes and loads the dryer and gets to do the dryer sheets. The third person separates the whites from darks and gets to pick which ones we will wash next. Then we go do school work till the buzzer on the dryer goes off and they run down and do it again, while I gather the school stuff for the next thing. When all the clothes are done, we make a pile of clothes in the livingroom. All the kids make different piles of different stuff.. socks here.. shirts here... shorts there... etc. Once that is done, they grab a pile and start folding.. They put their clothes away, I put mine away... They also rotate on who gets to pray for breakfast lunch and dinner... sundays mom or dad does it..... The big pick up at the start takes all of like 5 minutes.... starting the laundry takes like 5 minutes... switching the laundry takes like 5 minutes... folding takes about 30 minutes... so in all, on an average day... they do about 45 minutes of work total....... As far as dishes, one prewashes... one loads and gets to do the soap and buttons... one unloads... anything that goes into an upper cabinet is left on the counter for mom or dad to put away..... My kids are 5 and 7 and 7 and can do this.... They have pride in their home and it makes us all feel like we are helping each other..... Also, when they are first learning, be there WITH them... because they are Learning.... And when they are pre-teens or teens I won't hae to hear.. "But I don't know HOW to do it! Waaahhh!"
I'm forever reminding Carl that, if he wants the kids to do XYZ, he has to DO IT WITH THEM the first couple of times! Mine are a pain in the butt about helping to clean on a regular basis, but really pitch in without grumbling when I need it done NOW. (And Faythe, bless her, made me jello today because I've been sick!)
Wow Jen. That is great your kids and you can work that way. Really because I can not handle a schedule like that. In my house I am against charts and graphs for chores. But I am all for this in houses where it works for you. I just can't deal with having a schedule. I am such a freaky 70's free spiriti! My girls do chores too but different I guess. My oldest knows what to do and does it. My youngest I direct and she does it. We run happily and all is good. Isn't it neat how each of us has our own way?
Nah. You're just a freak! KIDDING! :roll: I was raised hippy.... I still got some hippy in me. Somewhere... hahaha! But honestly, it is not like an organized chart, although we have one. It is more like a habit. Someone always says, "Whos turn is it to do washer? Oh yea, Sasha did it yesterday, that means it is Connor, Etc.... And they do complain and groan, but they live.
I'm stealing this idea! I love it! We do a pick up right before dad comes home and this will work great! I don't have chore charts. I've tried them, but they don't work for us. I just tell each child what I need him or her to do and when I need it done.
Go for it! With my kids ages, they have to have a specific chore to do. If I tell them to just "Straiten up" they will be lost. So breaking each job into three parts with each child having a very specific part to concentrate on, they do not feel overwhelmed. and they also feel like, since everyone else is doing their part, then I can do mine. The way i introduced this to them was small... We set out a puzzle on the table. About 100 peices. I told the oldest to solve the puzzle. He was overwhelmed and could not. I told him, of course you cannot, it is too much for one person to do alone. Would you like some help? Of course he replied yes, and I asked if anyone would like to help, to wit the others chimed in. Then I said ok do it! Chaos soon ensued. So I suggested that they needed a "Game Plan" to solve this puzzle. After defining Game Plan, they agreed. So I suggested that one finds all the strait peices, one finds all the blue peices and one finds all the flowery peices. That sounded good to them and they got after it. Then I told them, "Ok. Now does this make your job easier?" They agreed and we discussed the importance of working together to solve puzzles, or "Problems." Then I did print out the chart. I made sure that each chore was devided into three parts and that it rotated each day repeating only once a week. Three kids, divided by 6 days means you only have to do one job twice a week. Not too bad. Then we got up and did a trial run. (Again my kids are young so they were gung-ho) I pretended to time them and when they were done I acted so amazed,they thought it was funny and bragged about it for days. So we have a chart, but it does not change. Every monday it is Connors turn to pray at lunch and so is Thursday. He knows it, everyone knows it. It just seems to fall into place like wiping your booty after a restroom break. Sorry for the visual, but you know....
We use charts. Our charts change monthly, so kids dont get too bored. We dont include things they know have to be done (ie make bed, dirty clothes in basket etc ) They have chores 6 days a week, and they swap chores each day (ie 3 days a week with 4 chores, and other 4 chores for remaining 3 days) Eg todays chores are DS wash dishes dry dishes feed stray animals empty airconditioning buckets DD set/clear table take rubbish out sweep under table after meals meal preperation LO pack up toys put washing in machine
When they can reach the counter to remove their items. Though we have a dishwasher so most everything goes in their.
