Hi I was just curious when everyone finds time for themselves. Do you specifically schedule time away? Do you wait until you are feeling burnt out and then find some time to get away? Who takes care of the children when you are gone? I think I may vent (just a warning), so if you'd rather not read on, that's fine. I'm partly mad at myself for not asking for time away before I get burnt out. It seems I do this to myself a lot. I know I haven't had enough time alone or time away when I start to get snippy, snappish and feel worn out. At that point I know I need time away, but I can't get it instantaneously. Maybe if I prevented getting to that burnt out point in the first place I would be better off. This time of year my hubby is in extensive training for for marathons, triathlons and such. He runs (and sometimes bikes) at least 3 times a week after he gets home from work. Supper is sometimes put off until after 6. Then, Saturday mornings/early afternoons are his race days. If on Saturday mornings he doesn't have a race, he does a really long run. He does mow the yard, landscape, garden, take care of the cars and do many other chores besides. So, it's not like he doesn't do anything to help me out. It seems I don't get enough time to myself or time away during this busy season. I know I just need to ask for some time on the days that he isn't busy, but it seems like those are the evenings I like to be together as a whole family. My husband just started this marathon craze a couple of summers ago, so maybe I'm just not used to it yet. Sometimes I feel I have the children at my side or under foot 24/7 without a break. I do have family in town, so I could ask for their help as well except for they all have their own things going on. Anyway, that's just my sob story for the day. I know that there are plenty of people out there who don't even have spouses or have spouses deployed else where, so I shouldn't be so whiny. At least I have my hubby home when I do.
I really struggle with this, too. I get very snippy when I don't have time alone. My DH is always good about being with the kids when I want to meet a friend at Starbucks or something. He's even said "No problem" when I ask to go away for a girls' weekend here and there. Trouble is, I rarely do stuff like that (mainly for financial reasons). I used to love to go to the library and just hang out alone for a few hours. I really should start trying to do that again more often. Last August, DH and the boys went to visit his mom in KY and to go to the state fair. I'm kinda hoping they'll do that again this summer, though with the price of gas, it might not happen. I was alone for four days and it was just lovely. Tonight my eldest has a softball double-header and I would love to just stay home and enjoy a few hours of silence. But then I feel like an awful mom for missing a sporting event. Being with my kids 24/7 sometimes wears me out more than I thought it would when we first started HS. Then again...when I'm diligent about making time for myself, I don't really feel overwhelmed by them. I guess I need to start working it into the schedule, like I would any other appointment. Cause you know what they say...if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! :lol:
Wow- you guys are awesome! Hubby has been so busy lately that I've been feeling like a single mom. I know all I have to do is ask for some time and his answer is always yes but then I feel so guilty. I feel bad for having him do "my" job- silly, I know. I feel bad for not using that time as a family. But then, I'm so worn out and snippy and cranky that I'm no fun to be around and I don't have the patience I need for two little ones! What is it with females and not being able to take the time we need to recharge our batteries?
Time alone....what's that?? :lol::lol: I remember that...when all 3 kids were in their Dept of Defense school or preschool. Haven't had much time to myself since we began homeschooling 14 months ago. My hubby's idea of time alone for me is when I got shopping without kids. OK, that'd be fine but I hate to shop so that's not a vacation. Sometimes I go to the bookstore without kids but its usually with a list (of homeschooling related books) so its not really relaxing. I do go to our co-op monthly Mom's night out and some other friends do sporadic Girls nights out which I try to attend. Most of my "me" time is reading a book on my bed...while the kids watch tv, play the computer, etc. Honestly, its more relaxing than shopping solo I'm also a night owl so oftentimes my "me" time is after the kids and hubby go to bed. Then I'm online here at HS Spot or reading or watching mindless tv.
Well, seems like maybe you need to find something that you are passionate about like he has found in his marathons. He SHOULD be supportive of that, and if it conflicts with his running then the both of you need to compromise. Just because he's the hubby doesn't mean your needs should be put on the back burner. Just talk to him and tell him that you need your "me" time as well and that you'd like to pick a day to do something for yourself, alone!
I have never really have taken time for myself. I have been invited to lunch by friends out of town and never taken them up on the invite.......................... Until........................ last summer. A friend invited me to lunch and for a mani-pedicure. I had never went off and left my kids for any length of time and I agreed to it after my dh and kids told me to "go for it"! We were gone for 5 hours! I have to say that I had a sense of guilt going and doing something fun for "me"-"myself"-and "I" without it involving doing something for my family. It had been 18 years since I had ever done that!
My husband is super supportive of me getting time away. He will sometime insist that I go and do something for me while he watches the kids. He and I both know when I need time - when I become snippy. Sunday after church he is taking the kids to a crawfish boil and me and my best friend are going out for lunch and cocktails. We decided to do this one Sunday a month and he is all for it. Last month she and I went out for Mexican food and the next day dh sent me off to get a spa pedicure. I recently started a dance class twice a week with my oldest daughter. I don't have to be mom there. It is a huge stress reliever and a great work out. I always come home happy and feeling great. My husband gets "me" time too. Today I took the girls out to lunch and to Sam's orthodontist appointment and he went to the gun range.
I've long told my husband that in my next life, I want to be a man. My husband just joined a karate class and I'm fuming. I can't get down to the corner for a gallon of milk, but he can go play Jet Li every Thursday.
well since I don't drive, I really can't go anywhere either. I was getting out more with my mom shopping on Sundays, but now she wants to spend that time with her husband?? So I asked her if we could get out at least once a month. My husband has been trying to get us out more too on the weekend. But I really need time from the kids too.
I should probably clarify that my dh and ds' have always tried to get me to go and take "me" time but it has always been my choice to opt out. I've always felt that I should devote myself to my family. I know that taking time for myself is no crime but I have chosen otherwise. I didn't want anyone to think my dh was an unsupportive montster.
My dh works stupid hours. It is not unusual for him to be gone from just when the kids get up to after they are asleep. So, I know the feeling of not having anytime to yourself. I instilled a quiet time everyday for at least an hour and used that for myself. Lately, I haven't even been doing that. However, that was the only way I could get a break daily. That or get up early and right now I am too exhausted. It is easier for me to stay up later...so I sometimes stay up a hour or two after everyone goes to bed and do my nails, check email, watch a movie, etc. That also helps. My dh is more than willing to give me breaks on the weekends.
OK, I guess this is my opportunity to (once again, lol!!!) push for a daily Mom Time!!! My children spend a half-hour each school day doing quiet reading in their rooms, usually right after lunch. My nephew attends "Aunt Jackie's school" on Thursdays. He's pre-K, and he knows that HE has to look at books quietly for a while, and after 15 minutes, Phillip reads to him. This half-hour is MY MOMMY TIME!!! The rules are NO HOUSEWORK or SCHOOLWORK during this time!!! Read a book, talk to us here at the Spot, drink a cup of tea, have a Quiet Time.... I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS!!! Oh, and *I* get to chose the books they read during this time! My kids do a lot of independent reading, and so during this time, they have ASSIGNED reading, usually a biography, or historical fiction or something to do with what we're studying. Yes, I'd LOVE to get a whole afternoon off every now and then. Carl TRIES to let me have it, but realistically, it NEVER happens!!!
You need to move here, Amy. Dean could shoot the bull with Mac and they could do crowd control with our kids. I'll show you all the cheap places to shop.:wink:
I get up before the kids every morning and excercise (at home) for an hour. All the equipment I needed (I don't have anything fancy) cost less than a 2 month membership at the gym and it stays in the garage. I consider that my "alone" time and it seems to sustain me on a daily basis. This does make me want to go to be earlier than the average night owl, but that's ok. My husband is great about letting me go out by myself on the weekends when he can tell I need a break. Sometimes just going to the grocery by myself is all I need. Like someone else mentioned, I also like going to the library alone.
We do all need that "mommy time", like Jackie was saying, daily. It doesn't have to be for very long. I have another homeschool mom, that is always ready to go when we need "mommy time". Her husband is very supportive and so is mine. They never question when we want to take a day or night out. We usually go to second hand shops and lunch. Just last Tues. night we went to a hs book sale about 1 1/2 hours away. We stopped at Red Lobster (we both had gift cards and coupons) and it cost us about $10 each which included the tip. We shared the gas and had a blast.
Most of every Sunday is "mine". I have a class from 11:30-1:00 then, if we have no other plans, I can do what I want with the rest of the day. Get a lot of Saturdays, too. When I get home, sometimes, he'll go to a movie by himself.... but by then, the kids are usually in bed or getting ready to be. He's just really good about stuff like that. He trains a lot, too ---- he's a cagefighter when he's not working his 'day job'. But, he calls several times throughout the day to see how things are going and, if they're not going well, he always offers to come on home & skip training.... or come train at home (the boys like to go out and 'train' with him). I rarely take him up on it, but I knowing the offer's there and that he doesn't mind makes a lot of difference in itself sometimes.
G'ma, 1 1/2 hour away!!! WOW!!! Well, if you're going to do that, come down here!!! We have one tomorrow, and another the first Monday in June!!! Oh, were you interested in going to CHEO this year?
I didn't get my "me time" yesterday afterall. My best friend and I were to go have lunch while dh took the girls to a crawfish boil. Well my friend text me while I was in Sunday school to tell me she woke up sick. So we all went to the crawfish boil together.
Dh is really good about it when he can. He works 12 hr days, swing shift and goes to school part time - on line classes. I also am very close with my mom, sister, SIL, MIL. I have people to ask for help when I feel like I need "me time". But I honestly do ok on my own. I get up about two hrs before the kids do. I use that time to get ready for the day, devotions, play around on the computer or make some phone calls. Now that the weather is nicer I will wake my 14 yr old Dd and have her listen for anyone that wakes up as I go for a walk. I put my kids to bed by 9 pm, even the teens. Dh and I go to bed by 11 or midnight. So we have that time alone too. I try to schedule my grocery store trips alone, when Dh is home to watch the kids. Even just the drive there, listening to the radio or enjoying the quiet can be just what I need to feel refreshed. Wed. nights is another time when the kids are at church, Dh and I or if he is working I get some down time.
I get my "Me" time late at night or in the early morning. DH sometimes takes the boys out in the afternoons so I can unwind. I can't complain... my only problem is that when faced with "me" time I end up working on homeschooling plans and lessons for the next month or so.
