Ok, my children are under attack amongst some ps children at church. My girls are teenagers and they are being asked so many questions at church they hate to go. We helped found this church 6 years ago and hubby will not go any where else. My solution is to prepare my girls with answers to their questions, but when I asked "what are they asking you?" they reply, " we do not remember all of them.... There were too many to remember." Can ya'll tell me some of the questions ya'll get asked or your children have been asked so that we can start there. So many people are wondering about our homeschooling, but none of the adults have the guts to ask us for some reason. Being the only homeschoolers in this little country church does not help. WE LOVE HOMESCHOOLING!!!! Thanks, melanee
I'm sorry that they are feeling pressured. We have a girl who just graduated that is hsed and one of our elders hs's his girls, so it is pretty well accepted here.
How do you mean they are being questioned, Melanee? Are they bad questions or are they being asked about their schooling?
The joys of homeschooling Are they really under attack where they are being mean or is it just kids asking questions? I find my kids get asked more questions then I do because the kids are more open and more curious then the adults are and will be blunt. Most the kids that question my kids always say your so lucky! I've trained my kids to say the good things about homeschooling The kids are usually really envious after awhile they will stop asking. I think if they know how to answer they won't feel so wierd about answering questions. Good things about homeschooling: Sleeping late, taking off when ever we want too, having studies outside if we want, taking lots of field trips, for PE we go for a walk, swimming, bike riding, go to bathroom when ever they want they dont have to ask the teacher hahaha We use internet, blogging, Ipods, movies for learning new things. Having more time to do more hobbys. We get together with other homeschoolers and have coop and just fun days with other homeschoolers. Also part of 4-H, Girl scouts, etc.. We do our studies early and we can head to the early movie show because we can! We finish a lot earlier then a school kid does because we dont have a teacher having to disapline someone, or take roll call, or trade class rooms which takes up to 15-20min of a students time. It will be easier for a homeschooler teen to get a part time job because they are more flexible with their time then the school age kids ============================== Questions I heard they have asked Do you like homeschooling? Who teaches you? What do you study? Does it get boring? Do you socialize? Are you stuck at home all the time? How long do you have to study? What happens when your done? What do you do for PE? If you like sports what do you? Isnt homeschooling wierd? Are you smart or something? Are you a nerd? Isnt homeschooling just for special kids? Is it against the law to homeschool? Do you have friends? Sam
Is this questioning out of curiousity or meanness? If it is out of genuine curiousity and being asked in a nice way...my suggestion would be to have your kiddos tell the others, we'd love to talk about hsling with you. Why don't you give us a call sometime later after church. You could always be there then to help them answer questions. If the others kids are asking out of meanness or are poking fun at your children, maybe try and help them come up with an answer that you are comfortable with - responding something like....we really like homeschooling - thanks for asking and have them walk away. Or, they could say, That is a good question, let me think about it and I'll get back to you and walk away. It may be something that you need to step in (as uncomfortable as that may be) and speak directly to the parents of these other children. Explaining that if they are genuinely interested in hsling that you'd be happy to schedule a time outside of church to get together and talk about it all together. This makes the parents face to face acknowledge that there are questions/discussion floating around. You might have to bring the issue to a head before it settles down. Even though we're just beginning the homeschool experience, having your children put in a tough position with peers is as hard on the parents as it is the kids I think. I have a teenager and there have been many times that I've had to tell my kids how to respond to bullying, harassment, or an uncomfortable situation. Sometimes, I have had to tell my kids specifically what to say. Sometimes it wasn't always the most kind of words (not mean but direct and to the point). Sometimes the best solution was to distance themselves from the other person as much as possible. Best of luck!
People poke fun at what they don't understand. We started hsing my dd when she was entering 9th grade. Some questions that arose were: Aren't you going to miss all the dances and prom? dd's response: No, I felt like I was in a meat market. Does your mom have a teaching degree? How's she going to know what to teach you? dd: No, she reads the teachers manual like all the other teachers. How will you ever get a boyfriend locked up in the house? dd: LOL I'm not in jail! You get the idea. She was glad to be out of the rat race. She was proud of who she was in God's eyes and didn't miss any of the "social" stuff. We belonged to a really good coop though. She graduated with 22 other hs students, was in choir and orchestra, and did community service with the other hs teens. She's now married and has 2 children and one on the way. She's going to hs her kids as well. Hope this helps!
It isn't a problem for my kids so far and we will be starting our third year this fall. If it were to become a problem I would ask to speak to the whole youth group for a few minutes at the beginning of one of their meetings and explain to them that I had heard they had questions about our choice of schooling and then I would explain to them what we do. I spoke to our youth group when Crystal first was told she had cancer so that she wouldn't have to face a lot of questions that she didn't feel comfortable answering. Of course I asked her about doing this and it was what she wanted. I didn't want a lot of mis-information being spread about her health and after I spoke to them they all hugged her and they supported her through the whole scary ordeal. Her friends at church know me very well and know we really do work on school work. At first I think some of the younger kids thought we just watched tv or goofed off. They are still jealous when they hear about some of the things we do and tell me they want to be homeschooled too. That makes me sad for them.
I totally agree with this. I'm going to be kind of frank here.. but it kind of worries me that you want to coach them with answers to give these kids. I don't know why, but it does. Just my opinion, sorry.
I don't think she necessarily wants to coach them as much as to understand the questions (if only to decide if they were out of meanness or curiosity) or to help the kids organize their answers. I know my kids sometimes don't always say the answers to questions as they would like (when they're caught off guard). This mostly happens at Girl Scouts. They're in a LARGE troop of all ages which totals about 80 registered girls. They are the ONLY 2 homeschoolers My girls have broadcasted that they're homeschooled but they don't deny it either. When someone asks them about what school they go to, etc.....they tell them. Most of the time, the asking child isn't familiar with homeschooling and will start asking questions. My girls sometimes wish they had answered the questions a bit different. My oldest and I have discussed things that she "could" say but not "what to say". Melanee, maybe your girls can put together a little presentation as part of "school" to present at church sometime. We have special presentations all the time. Rhonda
...said with love. This wasn't my thread but I would respectfully have to disagree. :love: I feel it is perfectly okay to coach your own children in responding to situations that they don't know how to respond to. It's wonderful that the children came to the parent in the first place versus not talking about it. Talking about the situation together and coming up with answers as to how they should respond to something that is upsetting them is what Mama's do. Role playing if necessary is a great way to help your child develop the skills needed to handle uncomfortable or peer pressure situations. My giving them options and ideas as to what to say or do is important in supporting our family values but ultimately the responsibility will be theirs when they are confronted with the next situation, question or episode of peer pressure. Just my humble opinion said in love. I just know from my personal experiences with oldest dd13 that we have had to do this multiple times with bullies at her public school.
I figure the kids don't understand homeschooling. We were asked by some kids once why we homeschooled and didn't we think the kids were missing out on teen stuff. My kids were young and did have to answer for themselves as the teens were asking Scott and myself who were their youth church leaders. We gladly told them that we felt we could give them a better education and that the kids would still have activities. They didn't understand that they could still have proms, science fairs, etc. It opened their eyes to homeschooling. Lorna
Maybe I didn't explain enough. One of the girls that are asking all of these questions was best friends with my two older dds when they went to ps 7 years ago. When we changed to hsing, this girls mom would not allow her to hang out with our dds after two years of us hsing . I do not know why. Over night, this girl and another girl began to be really mean to our girls. They would go up to one of our girls if I straightened their hair and tell them it was out of season and they needed to learn some fashion sense. I have always taught my girls to not conform, but to be themselves but make sure they were pleasing unto God. I feel this questioning is another way for these girls try to lift themselves up while tearing my girls down. I do not understand it because our girls never taunt them nor say anything about them. They are right at our side because they feel so rejected by these girls. Our girls are having trouble feeling good about themselves because of this, and I hate it that this has happened, but I do believe our girls should work it out with them. I believe that I should get them ready for these girls because they are not asking these questions out of curiousity, but out of pure spite. They try to embarrass them in front of other people at church especially the boys by catching them off guard. They are pure hateful. I have thought about talking about hsing in front of our church, but many of the adults are like these children. They do not understand; however, it suprises me because most of them say we are lucky not to be going through some of the problems they are having with their teens. I call it blessed!:wink: We do not allow our girls to wear spaghetti strapped and strapless dresses that is another reason they make fun of our girls. Anyways, I could go on and on....Sorry to write a book. It is just wearing me and my hubby down. I do appreciate all of the good suggestions. I will work on these questions. I want to ask them these questions and let them come up with an answer without any pressure so maybe when they are put under pressure they will be able to take up for themselves better. They are sooooo shy and only one of them have ever stood up to any of these girls. I think they are intimidated by these girls because one of them is known for running her mouth and getting into fights at school. Blessings, Melanee
My heart aches for you and what you're dealing with. I will be in prayer for you and your family. :love: I live in an area where hsling isn't widely practiced and people are very judgemental also...including my in-laws. :cry::x Blessings~
Also, praying that these girls AND their parents are convicted of their ugly behavior and turn from it. Hang in there. :love:
A lot of times kids get ideas from their parents when they overhear their parents talking smack. Praying for you and yours.
Like I said, it's my feelings. I am very open with my kids as to why I homeschool... I think they know (or at least the oldest anyway) the why's of why we homeschool and the how's of how we do it better than I do myself. Maybe that is why I feel the way I do.
Sounds like the are getting some needed socialization. Ooohh! Did I actually say that. Yeah, but not for the reasons most would. Your dd's would be encountering dozens of girls like this daily, if they went to public school. This is a unpleasant part of adolesence. Its ugly, but parts of life are. When they are adults this could be a similar situation where they are being picked on for other reasons like for example: being part of a different ethnic group having different religion being from a different economic background having a different level of success having a different level of education being a female using intoxicating substances more or less than others having a different body type and or fitness level There is no end of reasons that people can find to dislike or hate others. I can remember that there were kids in our youth group that were not very into it beyond the access to other kids. There parents often were not doing much to direct there kids differently than non believing parents were. It was like there kids were suppose to become mature Christians by floating along with no parental direction.
