Yes, these girls act this way in front of their parents, us, anyone else that is around at the time. You have to remember that at our church NO ONE understands why we homeschool. Most of them do not have a college education and most drop out of high school by 10th grade to do a trade. Getting pregnant out of wed lock for these girls would be considered locking in a hubby :roll:. My hubby and I let it roll off our back because we know that we are doing the right thing by hsing. Our girls love it and know why we hs; however, they seem to think they owe an explanation to others . I tell them that as long as they are comfortable with what we do and who we are that, that should be enough. There is no reason to defend something that defends itself. Just let those words and deeds of those girls roll off their back like water off a duck's back. I understand what you are saying, Vantage, they need to deal with situations that arise, but how much stuff should they have to put up with? These girls have been relentless for years!!! Please just pray that the situation will get better and my girls will be able to enjoy church. Blessings, melanee
In my opinion you need to go to the girls' parents as this seems to be where they get it from and the parents are responsible for their children's behaviour. That is not your daughters' job to teach them manners.
After reading your further posts Melanee.. it does just sound like typical teenage behavior. Vantage said it perfectly. No matter what others will find something to pick on. It is just a fact of life. I think helping your girls understand the reasons these girls do these things is your best means of defense. I will throw out an example... growing up I had these two sisters who insisted on calling me some things that were far from pleasant. They called me things that more or less said that I was a welfare child.. in truth I was not, we didn't have much money, my mom was a single mom of 3 kids with no child support... she worked and did the best for us she could. I found out a few years after this tourment began that these 2 girls DID live on welfare.. hmmm makes you wonder why they tried to keep me put down. I also don't agree with going to these girls parents. Personally I know I would feel even worse if these girls were to come back on me because my mommy told their parents on them.
You situation is tough. Even tougher on your girls, I am sure. I am so sad for your girl. No one should have to go through teasing like this. Although I agree that teasing is sadly par for the course with kids, I also can see your point of view. Sure kids will always have something to pick on another kid about. However, you girls seem to be picked on by a group of girls nonstop that are truly supposed to be their sisters in Christ. That sickens me. Do your girls have friends outside of church or is this their base of friends? If this is their base of friends that would make things even worse in my opnion because then they have no one. Sounds like this is more than a home schooling issue. Sounds like your church has forgotten some basics about love...sorry. I realize that you built that church from the ground up but I was seriously consider leaving. That not being an option can they just sit with you in church. I really hate that church is becomming a bad experience for them. Being teased a an age when you are just figuring out who you are and who you want to be is very difficult and should be shielded if possible. If it were only a girl or two I would feel differently. But when you are dealing with a group of girls who are relentless with parents who support this then I think guarding your child is important. So, maybe they should just sit with you in church.
I would first recommend talking to the parents of these girls and see if that changes the situation. If it doesn't, then I would recommend talking to your church's leadership [e.g. pastor/priest]. If that didn't stop the problem, then I'd recommend finding a new church. If the people at this one really do see pre-marital, teen pregnancy as a means to getting a husband and do nothing when their kids are spiteful and rude to other kids, then this church sounds like it has some serious issues.
I agree that it sounds like typical PS teenage behavior, although I find it very sad to be going on at the church. The part that saddens me the most is when the world is influencing the church than the church is influencing the world. I have seen this more and more in the very popular churches of today (not all, just many), maybe that is why I like the smaller ones so much better (not that there aren't smaller ones with the same problem). Frankly, if no one is talking to these girls about their behavior then there is no real spiritual guidance going on there with the teens and that is an indication of a far greater concern for the future of that church.
I see what Sommer said about it being a problem if you go to their parents alone. That could just give them one more thing to tease and taunt your dd's about. Is there a way you can meet with the parents and the teens all together, with Bibles in hand? I mean, if this is a Christian Church, then THEY are the ones with the problems, not you and your girls! Why are they even going to church if they allow their kids to act this way? That makes no sense to me! Homeschooling is a choice, just as they have a choice and chose to send their kids to public school. Are your girls taunting and being mean to the other girls for going to ps? The Bible says, "Encourage one another and build each other up." 1 Thess. 5:11 Galatians 5:22-26 says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindess, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature, it's passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." Also look at Gal. 6:1-10 Honestly, they need to understand, somehow, that this is America, they say they are Christians, yet they are persecting your dd's! That is not right! What about your pastor? Whether he believes in/condones homeschooling, he SHOULD not condone persecution! Right? Can you take this to him, with these Bible texts (and there are hundreds more!) and see if he can be there with this discussion and support the Christian attitude? Homeschooling doesn't even need to be brought into this! I will be praying for a resolution of this for you!
No, our girls are not taunting them for going to ps. Infact, we made it very clear when we first began hsing that we were only doing what was best for our dds. I was scared to death at first of hsing, but we have grown to absolutely love it. Our youngest has severe dyslexia and the middle one was getting left behind in ps, and our oldest is gifted and was bored. We have never said anything negative about ps nor have our girls. We realize that hsing is not for everyone and that ps is a blessing to others as is hsing to us. My girls sit with us every time we go to church. Now that I have had to think about it, I realize ya'll are right it has to be coming from their parents or jealousy so I think we will pray and let the Lord lead us to do what we need to do. As for our preacher, when he first came he talked about how wonderful hsing was now he will not even talk about it due to the people who came and complained. We just took that as, "ok, they don't understand because they do not know enough about it. We answer questions as they are asked by the adults. Thanks, Melanee
"...the people who came and complained." HUH? I sooo don't get this! Why would so many people come and complain to the preacher about homeschooling?
Have you considered finding a new church? It doesn't sound like a loving environment to me with all of the bullying from the kids and complaining from the adults. I will continue to pray for your family. God bless! :love:
I want to leave this church badly, but hubby does not. I am staying there so our children don't get caught between do we want to go to church with mom or dad? And also to try to keep unity in our family. Our church is made up of a lot of his kin folks (the ones who are acting this way are not kin to him). I do not know the reasons for him staying. He agrees that our children are being done wrong, but refuses to leave. I don't know if it is pigheadedness or if he is afraid to go somewhere else. His dad and mom are burried there and we have a place there too as long as we are members. Oh, the confusion of it all!!!
This is the only church he has ever been a member of. He has visited other places (2), but never likes them.
Good grief! I can't believe that this is allowed to go on! You didn't answer about meeting with a group and finding out what the problem is?! And why do people complain aobut homeschooling to the preacher?!
Vantage, you are absolutely right. I had to deal with this stupid bs in the factory where I worked, and this was grown adults. If someone is inclined to act like this, they will do it all their lives- until the right person stands up to them.
Oh, Melanee! They even do this in front of you- the parents?? Their own parents, too?? That's wild. I'd have to speak up. They probably know you won't, and that's where they get their guts, the twerps. I hope you can find a way to put a stop to it all.
Talking to these people only makes it worse. We have tried, but our girls end up getting the bunt of all our actions. So, we have learned to just let things be. After all, the Bible says to turn your cheek. We figure God can work all this out better. The reason people complained about hsing to the preacher was because he said it was a wonderful thing to do and he wished he had done that when his children were little. He even said that ps had gotten so perverted in their ways that he would not have his child there. After saying that in the pulpit, he had people come to him and quiet him down. I guess it convicted them?? Anyways, after that and our family being in the newspaper for hsing, people started changing toward us.
