Do you ever feel completely inadequate?

Sometimes I really question my ability to teach my children. This is intensified after I am around my extended family and get "the look" from some of my relatives. Do you all ever get "the look" from people in your family? "The look" is a look of disapproval about your educational choice for your children. My mother gives it to me even though she never comes out and says anything. Two of my teacher cousins give it to me. I have learned to just keep my mouth shut but it still hurts my feelings and makes me question my decision. We've had a couple of family get reunions in the past week so I've gotten "the look" quite a bit here lately.

 

Oh the look, love it. Makes me stronger and want to keep doing it to show them I can do and my girls are doing great. Love the look. Yes, we all get the look but I just smile and move on.

 

I used to feel that way from time to time but every time I start feeling like that I think about my dh's sister. You see, his sister, who is the family dingbat, is now a ps teacher. I did not think it was possible that anyone hire her for teaching actual children, but they did.

When I start to feel bad, I just think that some poor kid is sitting in her class and learning from her... It always makes me feel better.

 

The look is a hard one thats for sure, and to answer your question yes we all feel inadequate from time to time...but we have to look at the over all picture, we are homeschooling for a purpose.
It usualy helps me to either come on here and get encourged or to look back and the reasons I home school... hey we could make a list up and carry it with us! Then when we get things like "the look" and the rude questions and statements we could whip it out and say, here are the reasons I home school!
Wouldn't we look prepared then eh?
heehe!

 

What a great idea TM. I never come up with good come backs until a day or two later. Fortunatley in our area most people are very supportive of the decision to hs. I do have mil who stradles the fence though. Somedays she is supportive and the next she is questioning our decision. Hang in there and if it gets to bad come here. There are lots of friendly shoulders:angel:

 

Why don't you give them the look for putting their kids in ps? Okay, that probably is not the answer, but I am a little cranky this morning.

 

YES!! I do. Especially last year. It was my first year homeschooling my kids. I had to do a lot of reteaching after pulling them from public school and I wasn't sure they were catching on but I'm feeling so much better this year about it all. My 4 year old is on the verge of reading and my daughter who was diagnosed with dyslexia through the school system has Improved drastically since being home. I don't get those "looks" from my family. For the most part I think they are all ok with it. Although my mother in law (when asked what she thought) told me that she thinks they should be with kids their own age.. Again the socialization. But I don't care. I know what's best for my kids and I know that this is what God wants me to do so I'm going to do it no matter what anybody thinks. But yes I do feel inadeqate at times.

 

I understand and I know that it hurts, but try to ignore them...that's what I do. You know in your heart that you're doing what's best for your kids.

 

My mom is the Queen of "the look". Most days she'll follow it up with "...so when are the kids going back to real school". Grrr.... that just makes me nuts! When she does it I just think of how far my kids have come since I pulled them from ps. I just smile and say "everybody has their opinion, thank you for sharing yours." The last time she pulled the look and her comment, my daughter gave me a huge hug and told me that we made the right choice to homeschool and that if she were still sitting at a desk in the ps she would be bored stiff and that her brother would still be several grades below level. Fortunately my mom was still standing there and heard my sweet girl. My mom hasn't said anything more about it and that was almost 6 months ago.

 

Sorry. I probably should not have said that about my sil but if you had seen how she has treated us over the years to do with hsing and everything else, you would understand why.

It is true she is not very bright but I think the worst part is how immoral she is. I would not want her teaching my kids anything. She has pulled a lot of really awful stuff over the years, including stealing money from us and spending it (a trust fund).

However, I should not make fun of her, I should be better than that and feel sorry for her instead.

 

Thank you, it's hard when you really have NO support from any of your family members. DH isn't the most supportive person either, though he tolerates me doing it. So, when I have a bad day (or week, month, year :lol I really have no one that I can talk to about it. Guess I should start coming here more often.

 

I still get the look from my in laws. Even worse than that I get the "Talk" My mom in law believes to this day that I seriously harmed my oldest by homeschooling him because he didn't get good grades in ps lasts year(he wanted to try it out) He made great friends but said the work was too boring. This school year we are homeschooling the 2 oldest and we still haven't said boo to my inlaws about it. They keep asking if I've found out yet which elementary school my daughter will be going to K at. Since I don't want to hear the talk yet we just say we don't know yet. I am actually dreading her finding out because of the talk. UGH!!!

 

My dh was the same way for about the first 6 months to a year. Then he started seeing the results. When the girls learned to read they would read to him when he got home at night. Now he is our biggest supporter.

 

OH you guys just reminded me of a look I got when someone asked me why I home school my kids.. I said "because I wanted my kids to learn more than just to do what they want to" and followed that with "I wanted them to get a better education" lol I admit it was a bit unkind though, in after thought I have to remember that not everone can or will homeschool and they are stuck with the system they have.
I find I point out how much better for my own kids it has been.. benifits of homeschooling are awesome!
Then I get the pat answer of "wow I admire you"
So it is possible the people who are putting you down for it are actually jealous cause they can't or dont feel as if they can?

 

I absolutely do feel inadequate. It doesn't matter to me what people think of me, either, it's my own vision of myself. I've picked crappy math three years in a row. I didn't teach art well at all, or music.
This is Jeannie's elementary years, and I flubbed a bunch of it. There's no getting her kindergarten, first, or second grade years back to try again, either. She deserves better than this dunce as a teacher.

 

Pray for guidance. I will be praying for you as well.

 

Becky Becky, Puhlease!!

The boys got music in kindergarten and 2nd grade for 6 weeks. (ps)
The school changed Math texts every two years.
eldest ds had a horrid teacher for 1st and 2nd grade... no, there are no do-overs, but...
They will be fine.

after all, I turned out ok... after a less than adequate ps education combined with lack of interest and less than focused parents.

Ya just do the best you can, with the info you have.

(ps, we are using Time4Learning, and liking it pretty good. free two week trial, so you can look without a commitment... I am too new to the forum to post a link, but it isn't hard to find.)

 

But their music was probably taught by a real music teacher, and that's where the difference comes in. I wing it. It's the areas I'm not strong in that I pine over.

 

This is what I find so great about hsing. Where we have weaknesses we can find help. There are so many resources out there for just such instances. Art is my weak point, dh helps there and we have some great people in the community who are will to help with subjects they have knowledge about.:angel:

 

Becky,
Are you teasing?
I mean really, a "real" music teacher?! What makes you a real music teacher? They made pom-poms to "dance" with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Our high school dropped Choir last year, now our "real" music teacher is selling real estate.

My kids hate my music. They like 80's rock. (courtesy of DH) Jasper does do dance... is that music or PE?

I do not care for math... DS likes it and is interested... we will do math.
I like History, DS hates it, I will do my best to make it interesting... we will do history.

A friend has named all thier children after composers. (middle names) We might do a unit study on that.:lol: