I introduced myself a couple of days ago as a non-parent who'd like to be able to help friends move toward homeschooling. I DON'T want to butt into their lives with unasked-for advice! But when I hear a friend say, "I'd love to homeschool, BUT ..." I'd be thrilled to be able to offer them even some little bit of food for thought. Actressdancer suggested (thank you) that I start this thread listing objections to homeschooling so that you experienced people could give some answers. It may take a while to think of all the most frequent objections, but here are the first that come to mind: 1. We'd love to homeschool BUT ... both of us work full time. 2. I'd love to homeschool BUT ... I'm a single parent. 3. I'd love to homeschool, BUT I'm a [veterinarian, plumber, writer, sales clerk], not a teacher. 4. I think the government schools are doing a terrible job for Mikey or Jennifer, but why should I homeschool when, after all, I PAY for public schooling? 5. I'd love to homeschool BUT, I also want a break from my kids now and then. Any thoughts? In the meantime, I'll keep listening to what some of my poor, tired parent-friends have to say. Thank you!
Here was mine: I'd love to homeschool BUT I am not a patient person and I think my child and I would drive each other crazy. I actually went to college majoring in English Education and quit after pre-student teaching when I realized that I just don't have the patience required and I didn't want to be THAT teacher. After our horrible experiences with public school, I came to the realization that I HAD to do it, patience or no. What I discovered is that there is curriculum out there for people like me! We are starting off this year (our first year) using the BJU harddrive kit and my son will be watching their teachers teach the class and I will be dishing out the work and doing the testing and checking. We may discover that we can do more one-on-one teaching (without bloodshed) but for now it was a great relief finding "distance learning" to get us started on the road.
Well I can tell you first hand that the first one doesn't fly as an excuse. Hubby and I both have full time jobs outside the home. I work 3 12 hour days and then have 4 off....hubby works your traditional 5 day work week. I am off Sunday - Wednesday and hubby is off Wednesday and Thursday..so the boys School Monday - Thursday (yes only four days and trust me it's enough) and they get worksheets to take to the babysitter on Friday to review what they learned. We also do a review on Sunday Afternoons and clear up anything that may still be confusing them. I personally can't comment on the single parent thing..though I'm sure it's possible. I myself am not a teacher (in the public school sense of the word) however I've been teaching my children since they were born...I taught them to talk, walk, write their names, count, recognize colors, I taught them the Alphabet...and all those other things that children learn before they ever start school so why should this be any different besides you can't tell me the teacher know everything they are teaching....that's why there are Tm's 4. If the schools are doing a terrible job why would you want to continue sending your children there???? Who cares that you pay for them....is your child's future not worth an extra investment so you can homeschool them? 5. I get breaks from my children...my husband teaches on Wednesday and I am free to do as I please (errands, tv, computer whatever) and I still work so I get out when I go to work too....also hubby and I have a monthly date night to relax with each other. Hope that helps...though it's just my opinion!
well if you want the truth I think some people have excuses for anything and it has to be something you want to do, just like cooking or cleaning you have to want to do to it. So, when I hear these excuses I just smile and say oh. But, I know the real reason is there hearts are not there to do it.
As far as patience goes I think everyone has their moments when their patience is running low...we just try and redirect on those days...have recess first, take lessons on the road and teach at the park, have a field trip, take a "mental health" day!......
I agree Our work schedule is a bit different. I work Mon-Thurs 5pmto 12 am. Dh works Mon- Fri 8-5. I have all day at home with the kids and then i drop them off with him on my way to work. I get a break from my kids through very supportive grandparents who take them sometimes. I have to agree with everyone else. Make the schedule work for you. If hsing is something you REALLY want to do you can find a way to make it work.
I also hear the no patience one a lot. As a person with a short fuse, bad temper, and very little patience, I can honestly say it can be done. You just need to learn to work with kids, take some time for yourself, and do something relaxing every day (even if it's only for 15min). Another one I hear a lot is "I'm not organized enough." Well, there's stuff to help with that, too. Some programs give you everything you need, including having all the assignments planned out. There are computer programs to keep track of grades, attendance, assignments, etc. There are websites that have record keeping forms free to print. You could even keep all the work in manilla folders & go through once every couple of weeks to record the grades. It doesn't have to be done daily. One of the great things about homeschooling is that you can make it fit your life. You can schedule it around work, appts, extra-curricular activities, etc. You can take days off when you want or need to to. You can use whichever materials work best for your child & your situation. You have freedom to allow your child to work at their own pace, in their learning style, learning what you feel is important for their future. Homeschooling is so flexible and looks completely different in each hs family. Even families that use the same method or the same curriculum; the way their day is structured, how much work they do, how many hours a day, where they do their work, what (if any) additional stuff they do (sports, dance class, music lessons, field trips, etc) will be different. It can be made to fit the family, not make the family fit it.
Im a single mom who DOES homeschool and work outside the house. it can be done! and even with limited resources you can accomplish anything!!!
I can come up with a bunch of stuff to counter the excuses. However, I will just say it needs to be their decision. I WAS that excuse maker after I got overwhelmed 6 years ago when KINDERGARTEN stuff from Calvert showed up at my house!! I was so overwhelmed I figured I'd never be able to do it and sent my kids to PS and I regret doing it. Each person has a path and they have to chose. Just like my husband who smokes - I am NEVER going to be the one to tell him to quit. All because I nagged him that 1 extra time it isn't going to change his opinion. It's up to him - just like it is up to families to HS.
Love this. :love: It's so true. I am an elementary ed major and taught in the public schools for 6 years. I knew about homeschooling and even considered it when my oldest was 4 but never followed through. I was unhappy with the public school situation my children were in, but was one of those "I'd love to homeschool BUT...." people. I met a lady at my kids swim lessons who homeschooled and actually said to her..."You are such a great mom to do that...I'd like to, but I never could." She just replied with a simple "Oh." Nothing else. No persuading, no sure you could's, in fact, she didn't even really talk about hs for the rest of the lessons we went to...3 weeks later I was calling her to ask her how to get started. I don't know why I thought I never could. I definately had the training. Maybe it was the time thing, or patience thing, or the "teacher training" I had...whatever it was, I didn't need convincing, just courage. My heart knew what was right...and I just needed the courage to follow it. That's the key. Best wishes.
Kris You haved it on the nose, you do have to have a heart for it. Today I don't feel like I do, but tomorrow I will... it is not always consistant but once you get into the idea it grabs you! I think that people just have to think about it, then learn about it to realise YES THEY CAN!
1. We'd love to homeschool BUT ... both of us work full time. The beauty of HSing is you work with your own schedule. It doesn't take the 8 hrs a day that public schools put in. Then there are alway weekends. 2. I'd love to homeschool BUT ... I'm a single parent. same as above. Everyone's schedule is different, but it's what works for them. 3. I'd love to homeschool, BUT I'm a [veterinarian, plumber, writer, sales clerk], not a teacher. As a parent you are automatically a teacher. And it's always fun to re-learn right along with them. 4. I think the government schools are doing a terrible job for Mikey or Jennifer, but why should I homeschool when, after all, I PAY for public schooling? because you can offer them much more. It's a small 'price to pay' 5. I'd love to homeschool BUT, I also want a break from my kids now and then. join a hs group, find a local mom friend and get a mom day trade gong with her. Any thoughts? everyone's family, priorities and values are different. You have to do what you feel is best for your family & situation.
While I do agree that it has to be each person's individual decision, I think sometimes that we honestly don't know we are capable of doing something until someone else says we can. For instance: I had a friend who was absolutely convinced that there was no way they could survive on one income. Her DH made nearly twice what mine did and their house payment was 2/3rds of our rent. And they only had one child. It was only after hearing her longing to stay home and us talking through her objections that she realized that she really didn't have to work. So her and her DH talked about it and she quit working a year ago. She's never been happier and they are still doing well (just not as "well off" as they were before). Point is, while it has to be a personal choice, talking with an educated friend who can honestly say "I've talked with a woman who manages to work and HS and this is how they do it" can be beneficial.
I hear these things from friends also. They think I have this luxury that is unavailable to them when in fact I have just found a way to make it work. I have to admit that it was a little easier for me to convince my family that this was okay because I am teacher by trade so they were able to accept my abilities more easily. But this is an outsiders view, it is not the reality. In my experience the most important things that teachers learn in college and on the job is how to manage large groups of kids both behaviorally and educationally. The actual information taught is something I studied myself in the teacher's manuals because there is no way you can be prepared to teach any and everthing without preparation. Since I don't manage large groups of kids at home my experience as a teacher doesn't really help me at all. I still have to study the information before I teach but I did that anyway. That being said, I don't think hs'ing is for everyone... people have to be able to choose what is best for them and their kids individually. If you are trying to encourage a friend with doubts that's great but I wouldn't push the idea onto someone who isn't ready.
I agree with elphaba. I taught for 4 years before quitting to be a mom. The training I got has nothing to do with how I homeschool! So for people to think I can do a better job because I have a teaching degree is not true. It's comparing two different things, it really is totally different! I also agree that it's nice to support homeschooling as you can, but I'll admit that if you don't have any kids, and you're telling them they need to homeschool, it won't go over that well with some people until you've been there, done that (btdt)! Don't try to push people into it. Just say positive things about it, and that if they TRULY want to stay home and homeschool, you have friends that have btdt and you could show them the examples of people here and any others you know that are working through the old excuses and are succeeding! Another thing I say to people that are truly interested is that kids grow up so quickly! Sometimes it seems like you'll be inundated with diapers and potty training forever....but next thing you know they're going to be seniors in highschool and are driving! It's crazy how fast the time goes! I do not want to send my kids away. I carried them and birthed them and have spent thousands of dollars and thousands of hours on them. Why would I want to send them away, suddenly, to have someone I don't even really know in charge of what they do, say and learn all day??? It doesn't make any sense to me! At any rate, I am happy to say I will NEVER have to say, "I wish I'd spent more time with them when they were young!" That's a regret of so many parents! I won't say that, because there's no way I COULD spend much more time with them than I have! And I'm very, VeRy, VERY happy about that!
Thank you all for the really wonderful (and patient :angel responses. What I'm hearing behind most of your statements is (I shouldn't be surprised), "When we're ready to think outside the little boxes we put our own thoughts into, we discover we can do it." I know everybody has to find that out-of-the-box moment for themselves. But what helpful info your voices of experiences are giving!
I think many people are saying this... "I'd love to homeschool but..." just to be polite. You have to admit it is better than..."What about socialization?" I think if people feel they can't homeschool, then they shouldn't. (kind of like having kids in the first place: if you don't want them, don't have them for my sake!) I had no interest in hs in the younger grades. My kids all liked school and I felt that they would learn better there... but I am going to hs my middle school age son, because really if you get a kid slightly different from normal, school doesn't work as well any more. I SHOULD have hs my eldest, but as a single parent... well, wow, I realize it could have been done, but WE (she and I) were not willing to put in that kind of effort. The computer is going to make all the difference. (I hope) this wasn't an option with the eldest. But, what I told her is, you get out of school what you put into it. That is true no matter where your school is.
