My kids have been attending a Lutheran school for the last 2 years (before we moved here my DS was in PS). I am not unhappy with their schooling overall, but am unhappy about various social aspects and how they are handled by the teachers and staff. I am also disappointed that my son as a 4th grader didn't seem challenged at all. We also like to travel and my husband's work rotation is not flexible. It is a 5 week rotation and he gets every 5th week off. There's no requesting vacations to fit with school schedules. Anyway, I've been doing some reading on HSing all summer. I did some reasearch online. I have flip flopped so much I make the politicians look rock solid in their stances. My DH is supportive, but VERY nervous about it. Final registration at the school was yesterday and I didn't go. We actually were still trying to decide the right thing to do up to yesterday. I woke up this morning in a total panic thinking I'll just call the school and tell them I forgot to go (and not that I decided to HS). Then I calmed down and told myself it was the right thing. Then I started to panic again. What kind of teacher am I going to be? LOL!
Welcome! You are feeling everything that the rest of us have felt at one time or another. You are going to be an excellent teacher!
:hug: Take a breath! It does get easier None of us can give you that reassurance that you did the right thing. Only you know what is right for you and yours. And only time will tell in some decisions. There are a lot of smart cookies on this forum with lots of good advice. All of us were where you are at right now. Yes, it is very overwhelming. Yes, there is a ton of information out there. Yes, it can be expensive or free. And YES, it is very doable Make a list of your questions, fears, concerns, etc and post them. We will see where we can help.
You sound like a very typical homeschool mom, just getting started! You have taken the first step - deciding to homeschool - and it's a doozy! Now you get to decide HOW to homeschool. And that can be very overwhelming and confusing. Here are a couple of books that helped us a LOT when we started thinking about homeschooling... Mary Pride's Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling: http://www.home-school.com/catalog/pages/mpguide.php3 We checked this out of the library and it was fantastic! It starts at the very beginning - why people homeschool, what homeschooling "looks" like, which kinds of kids (and moms!) do best with which kinds of curriculum, etc etc.. If you can't find it at your library with this title, look for The Big Book of Home Learning, Volume 1. It's the older edition of the same book. Mary Pride also has a website: http://www.home-school.com/ I haven't hung out a lot on the website, so I don't know if it is as helpful as her book. Cathy Duffy wrote 100 Top Picks For Homeschool Curriculum: Choosing The Right Curriculum And Approach For Your Child's Learning Style. We bought it at a Half-Price Books, but you could check at your library for it, too. It goes through a long list of curricula and discusses the strengths and weaknesses of each of them. There are SO many curricula out there, and sorting them out gets very confusing and overwhelming! She talks about whole "box" curriculum programs, which include practically everything you need for the whole year; as well as individual products (different math curricula, or language arts, or whatever), so it's helpful whether you want to go with just one company's stuff or mix and match. I think most people mix and match to some degree, but it is often good to start with a "big box" curriculum to start with, just until you get comfortable with improvising. Cathy Duffy also has a website: http://www.cathyduffyreviews.com/ I also suggest you check out the Homeschool Legal Defense Association's (HSLDA) website, so you know what your state's requirements are for homeschooling: http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1 Click on "State Laws" at the side. And, of course, ask lots of questions here! No question is too silly or small. We have all been where you are now, and you will find lots of support and no judgment. We all do things just a little differently from each other, and we understand that there isn't one "right" way to homeschool... The right way is the way it works for you and your family. Chances are good if you are looking at a curriculum or product, you can come in here and ask about it and someone has used it and has an opinion/idea/hint about it. I hope that helps!!
Thanks for the replies. I guess I'd feel more confident if DH was more confident. He is worried they will get behind and wants them to participate in standardized testing, which is fine with me. As far as curriculum. YIKES!!!! That is very overwhelming. But I have been looking around and will decide fairly quickly. We started them on Rosetta Stone Spanish a few weeks ago. I am curious though...do any of you run your own business and homeschool? I am in charge of EVERYTHING household related due to DH's work schedule. I also run my own small business. It isn't profitable (yet), but I do it for me, not for the riches. LOL! If you do run a business, how do you fit it into the schedule?
Yes, there are quite a few that run small businesses, the household and homeschool! It comes with time and adjustments to best fit everything in. The answer there is NOT to panic and rush them back to school if things aren't working out one way or another. Usually adjustments can be made and things can go better! Many of us have ordered curriculum that just didn't work for our kids. Another time not to panic, it happens. Sell it or give it away and get a different one. Let your dh read these replies! USUALLY, homeschooled kids get AHEAD, not behind! Have you checked into HSLDA? That's Homeschool Legal Defense Association. If you go to their site, you can look up what the laws of your state are. Some states require yearly standardized testing, which is what your dh wants anyway. Some don't. But it's good to look up that information. Another good thing to know is your children's learning style. How do they learn best--hands-on? sit-down workbook type things? auditory? etc. Look up learning styles and try to peg your kids. That can help you better decide which curriculum could work for them. Here's a bit of info.: Schools build "down-time" into their day. That's time for potty breaks, pencil sharpening, standing in line for recess, lunch , programs, classroom control, etc. As homeschoolers you will spend WAY less time with stuff like that, so can accomplish in 2 hours what it may take a teacher with 30 kids, 5 hours to do! So don't panic if you start lessons and find it doesn't take as long as a school classroom does---that's normal. Plus your kids have one-on-one attention from a person who loves them more than anyone else in the world does--you! Progress is usually much quicker in way less time because of those things! Please continue to post questions (there are no dumb questions!!!), problems, comments! We're here for ya!
Hey there, I was just like you! We pulled our son out mid-kindergarten year and you should have seen me calling the school to tell them he wouldn't be back. I was trembling! It's perfectly normal! We all (well, a huge majority of us) feel this way when starting! You mentioned running a business. I have talked to people who do that as well. TYPICALLY you can finish up a day of school in around 4-5 hours. I am a writer AND have a full time college schedule for myself at the same time...and SOMEHOW I manage (thank God for online courses!). But it is perfectly doable and you'll probably have more time available than you think. Best of luck!
I agree with the others: your feelings are perfectly normal! I was scared to death when I first got started. Thank heavens for this board...it and my local homeschool group have helped immensely! I'm a freelance writer and newspaper columnist. I also teach art at our homeschool group. The way I make it all work is that I stay up late at night to write and do lesson planning. Some people get up early to make it all happen. I rarely ever watch TV, and when I do, I'm usually working on something at the same time. You just do what you have to do, ya know? My house is never spotless, but something's got to give. I figure in the grand scheme of life, it's the least-important thing on my to-do list. I am getting better about making my kids do more of the cleaning around the house. Anyway, good luck to you! I know it's scary starting off, but homeschooling is so rewarding. I'm sure you'll end up falling in love with it, too!
Oh yeah, Kari brought up a good point. Sometimes you have to choose between housework and schooling. I, of course choose schooling! It doesn't have to be a problem. You can set a timer for 15 minutes and you and your kids run around and put things away and make the house presentable. BUT, your dh HAS to be on board with this. He can't expect you to have a job, homeschool the kids, cook nice meals, do laundry and yardwork and keep the house spotless. He'll need to be willing to help with those kinds of things. Maybe he's already on board with that, but it's a good thing to discuss before you get started, just to make sure you know each others abilities and expectations, so it doesn't cause stress later on!
That is a wonderful point! My dh doesn't quite get this point! I try to explain that time is a valuable asset and he should be happy the laundry is clean if not neatly put away, lol. You might want to talk about that some. lol. I'm devising a schedule with a chore chart to try with the kids this year after breakfast and before school. Hope it works!
More deep breaths!!!! The best thing right now is to read some more HS books (a good variety of styles so you can pick from what your read....no 2 homeschools are the same). I definitely would "ditto" what Deena said about the wasted time in a school (public or private). For example, my 1st grade son does most of his work in about an hour. This doesn't count science and history with his sisters. He's not behind at all. He tests above grade level in math and reading and didn't even know all his letter sounds when we started HSing in March 07....now he reads at a mid/late first grade level (we just started first grade). His K work was probably 30-45 mins a day. My older two (just starting 3rd and 5th grade) do spend more time obviously but they still don't need from 8:30-3 like the school down the street. Spend some time at Cathy Duffy's website and www.homeschoolreviews.com plus the zillion curric sites and see what might work best....ask questions here since someone has probably used it.......and know that you will probably buy something that just doesn't work for your family (we've all done it and we've only been homeschooling for 18 months). Welcome!!!!! (oh yeah, take another deep breath )
Your worries are so normal. My first year (last year) I was so overwhealmed by curriculum choices and approach that I just used our public school's virtual school. They told me what to teach, what to say, and when. This year, I am flying solo and totally confident. Beyond confident. I feel like I am soaring. Ah the freedom! I LOVE IT! So don't be too hard on yourself. You learn the homeschooling ropes best by doing it, you'll pick it up faster than you think, and it's OK to make mistakes. As far as your husband goes, most homeschoolers are so far ahead of their public and private counterparts it's not even funny!! A 1997 study of 5,402 homeschooled students showed that on average, homeschoolers outperformed their counterparts by 30-37 percentile points in all subjects! (I will dig up the study if you need proof). Most homeschoolers are 1-2 or more grade levels higher than their age would place them in traditional school. This alone will likely end up swaying your husband over time. I think it's TOTALLY normal for a husband to have reservations until he sees results. Mine had them, he monitored us so closely the first couple months. Now he's sold and defends our choice to homeschool to anyone opposing. I think it's a lot like birth.....it's difficult for the daddy to really, truly bond with the baby till he is holding him/her in his arms. In utero, it's just harder for daddy to bond....but just wait, it's coming. So as to his support....just wait, it's coming .
Thanks for all the encouragement! I need as much as I can get. LOL! Luckily a local HS group met at a park today and I took the opportunity to go and ask lots of questions about local offerings. I have the best DH in the world. He hasn't done any reading on HS and really he won't unless I put a particular page under his nose. He has already tried to get me to hire someone to clean the house.I had them come once and it is too stressful for me to have strangers in my home cleaning. Is that weird? So I "unhired" them. Anyway, we'll get through it. I just have been having a little freak out. The laws in Indiana are extremely liberal for HSers. We only need to notify of our intentions and keep attendance. They need to have approximately 180 days of school. That's it. I am sure that once DH sees how they are doing, he will relax (as will I) LOL!
My hubby was the "if you think you can do it" kind of support. He was a bit leary, but quickly came around when he saw the books and things I was buying for our oldest who had at the time just been pulled out of public after 1st grade.. we were buying 3rd and 4th grade books... that was all it took..lol. Your hubby will come around too, as far as the housework.. mine doesn't complain that the house is a disaster, I just blame my 2 and 3 year olds on the mess...lol.
You have recieved some great advice already. I really can't add much to it. When things get overwhelming step back and breath. I agree with everyone on the housekeeping. Your kids are only young once. You have the rest of your life to keep a clean house. Truth be told my dh is a better housekeeper than I am. That is the LAST thing on my list to do school is the first. I work outside the home monday thru thurs. We have finally come up with a schedule that works for us. You can do it too. Welcome to the great adventure that is homeschooling.
Welcome Jen! Good luck to you and your family on this new adventure! It sounds like you are going through the normal nervousness and having the overwhelming feeling of the responsibility of educating your children. With that comes a wonderful sense of freedom though. I went through all that last year (my first year starting hsing). I still get mini panic attacks through out the year. I've heard that's normal. Come to think of it I panicked when my son was in public school too. Maybe it's just part of my personality. Today I received a letter from the school district that my son attended a couple of years ago. I started panicking and couldn't face opening the envelope for an hour. I thought maybe the letter was going to be something about me not homeschooling the "right" way or something. Silly me ! It was just a letter telling the parents of the local school that they are no longer going to provide bus service. Whew! Taking deep breaths and reading information on homeschooling helps me calm down. Maybe that will help you as well.
It is SOoooOooOO normal to feel this way. Last year was our first year and I was SO nervous. Hubby didn't want me to do it at first. He did finally allow it but only as a trial. He said that we would see how it went and if the kids did well I could continue to do it. Well, Guess what..... He is TOTALLY on board now. And I feel absolutely confident in teaching my children. I LOVE being with them and knowing that they are getting a quality education. One tailored specifically for them. YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Angie
Oh - you're in trouble now!!! Actually last year was my 1st year and dh wasn't 100% on board.... he's still getting there - even after the kids tested just fine on their teating (and I was sweating bullets about that) Don't worry - take your time. Biggest thing (and I am still learning it) is to not "do school" at home. Learn to be more flexible (your schedule already is different - take advantage of it!).... learn to relax (of all people I don't see myself saying that)..... but have fun with it. I spent a lot year #1.... This year - I think my books etc are a total of $125 for both kids. I'm still searching for Spanish and found one for $29 so I'm working that into the budget. But learn from your kids - not all kids learn the same way so adapt when needed. Just don't expect to be perfect BTW - I run our family farm business (yes it is an actual business for us), sometimes clean the house... laundry needs to be put away....and I hs 2 kids - and looking to add more.... OH and if your husband would care to hire someone to clean MY house - I won't argue
Welcome! I own my business (work about 60 hours a week out of our basement). I also am in charge of all household chores. My husband works 50+ hours a week outside the house as a master plumber. It is not easy to do but it is possible to work fulltime, run a house, and homeschool. You just have to learn to balance things, prioritize, and stay on top of things.
