Does anyone here feel that posting a field trip to several groups is "taking over"? Please... be honest with me on this. I don't want to screw up any more. I posted a historic jail field trip to several groups I belong to. I wanted it to be open to everyone, so I tried to post it so that everyone that wanted to come would see it. But it all went horribly wrong. I went to a park day with a new group last week -- it went great, kids made new friends, and us parents were tossing around field trip ideas. We all wanted the same thing -- local & cheap or free. Everyone responded well to the jail idea... so I rolled with it. I contacted the jail, got all the info. I posted to that group just like others -- with info, a poll with a couple different dates to choose from, & asking for a headcount. I was just BANNED from that group. When I asked why & if my kids would still be welcome at the park, the reply was "...other group owners didn't appreciate your taking over their groups either..." No warning. No rules stating field trips had to be exclusive to that group. No rules stating that firld trips posted to that group had to go through the owner. No nothing --- just banned. I went back through and checked all my groups --- I can't find this woman as a member of ANY of the other groups I posted to except maybe the greater Houston area group-- I haven't checked that one, but just about everybody's in G-HAH so I'm just assuming. I posted to her group, MY OWN group (both of which are very small), 2 greater Houston area groups (to which everyone posts everything), one just for networking, events & ideas (not a "meetup" group), one in the next county over (which hasn't even been active in months), and to my own personal email loop. I think that's it. Again, all I did was make a post of "ANyone want to tour the historic jail? participate in the poll..." blah, blah... -- referred them to the poll, and asked that anyone interested in going get me a headcount. That's it. So... now I have to explain to my children that they only THOUGHT they made new friends --- again --- and that they can't go play with any of those kids any more. So please --- I'm new to all this trying to set up outings and stuff. If this is against group etiquette or something --- please tell me. I thought that they whole idea of joining groups was to network & set up things for the kids --- but maybe I missed the "this is how you do it" class or something. It's bad enough when my kids can't keep friends because of normal differences or distance.... but when they lose 3 or 4 families worth of friends because ONE MOM says so.... that's just a little too much for me to handle! I can't even contact the 3-4 families who replies they WANTED TO GO on the field trip because, being banned & all, I can't get their email address any more. So frustrating... I need a tissue. Oh, and did I mention I have a hurricane eye-balling me?
Big hugs! That is just bizarre! I am new, but the groups I've contacted around here ENCOURAGE spreading the word so that everyone has opportunities and the slots get filled. They also encourage others to set up field trips if they want to go somewhere in particular. I only joined all inclusive groups and stayed away from the groups that have a specific religious belief. I don't know how they operate. It sounds like this woman has some kind of weird power trip thing going. It's her group and she wants to be in charge. Who knows. It takes all kinds. Good luck with the hurricane. Hopefully it weakens and is a complete wimp of a storm. We are praying for all of you down there.
What a bunch of pissy ladies! I am so mad for you! I know your kids made friends and all but these women do not sound like people I'd want to spend anytime with. In my eyes you did not do one thing wrong. Sounds like someone else has major control issues though. That same hurricane is coming my way too!
Wow. I manage a group, and I can't imagine banning someone just for saying, "Hey, here's a field trip opportunity." In fact, I actually welcome it. And even if I didn't, I would certainly politely and gently let the person know why I would prefer they not post things like that in the future. That person sounds really, really out there. However, every group is going to be different. Before I would post something like that, I would probably ask the moderator or group's president. Some groups don't necessarily want to open events to others they don't know. That way, at least you know you're pretty safe; you're either given the "Hey, that's great - please post" or the "Well, we really don't like to encourage events that are for just any homeschoolers on this particular group board."
I don't think there's any way for you to look at this rationally. The woman was being irrational, weird, bizarre... You did nothing wrong.
Sounds like the group owner felt otherwise about your suggestions and putting a trip together. Once I joined a playgroup for Matthew at yahoo groups. When they found out I was homeschooler thet removed me from the group. The owner told me it was better that I go to yahoo unconventional moms group!
You have got to be kidding! I own a yahoogroup associated with our parkday and I LOVE when moms take the intiative and plan fieldtrips. I also belong to several other lists for homeschoolers in my area and often the same fieldtrip is posted more than one place to get the word out. I would never mind that. Did you post the poll on each group or a link to a poll on the first group that eventually banned you? I am grasping at straws here, but if you did post a link to the first group's poll then other groups may have seen this as your way of getting people to join that group versus their own. Really just totally guessing. I would send an e-mail to the woman that banned you and apologize for causing any problems. That was never your intention and perhaps in your excitement over the fieldtrip you may have stepped on some toes. Ask to be reinstated to the group and ask her how you should handle getting the word out on fieldtrips in the future. Also, make she she knows you are not making any money on the fieldtrips and this is something you like to do for your own kids and would enjoy the company of other homeschoolers. Hopefully, this can all be smoothed over and your children can maintain their new friendships.
Bless your heart honey! that stinks! I agree with the others, sounds like someone is having a power trip there. I've not had any luck in finding a group. I had 1 say flat out we were too far, one say that it was too late to join (but in a hateful way) and the other one is only for moms....(I'm sure it's fine...but the point of a group for us to join isn't for ME to socialize, but for them...not saying there is anything wrong with that type, but I need the kids to be able to socialize right now)...then a few various religious ones that we don't fit into. I hope everything works out for you and you can find out what went wrong. Ps....ladies, yall be careful with those hurricanes! Stay safe and we'll be praying for you all!
That would be my opinion as well. I guess some people get a bit nuts when they belong to a group or they are in charge of a group. I don't know...I really don't...don't think I can even rationalize. I am so sorry this happened to you.
I dont see wher eyou did anything wrong, you inquiered the jail place, you send what you found and asked if anyone else wantd to do it, You did not say if you said " so and SOs group is doign such and such?" but that shouldnt matter, I know people have certain ways of ding things, I have found that to be true too... thats why I went to play park day at first too to see if we were a match. our kids fit, well! us parents fit well enough as long as I remember not to say the wrong thing and remind my kids this is a quiet group, not to be roudy.. but each group I have spoken with seems to have unwritten rules as well as the one we have to sign sayng we will obey them... taking care of oru own kids and being quiet while the teacher teaches is the basics this one has, so that is cool. I suggested a PE class and got no one saying they wanted to join , but not a big bully rutine like you did, so I think you should just go to the feild trip, see if anyone else comes! HA! Let them plan thier own! Let them know in emails that you are sorry if you over stepped any bounds but you just wanted so share in your excitement for this feild trip! HOmeschool groups are interesting things to deal with,
Sounds a bit immature to me! That is so fourth grade material that it is hysterical. Sorry that happened to you. Around here it is not uncommon for women to get their nose bent out of shape if anyone offers to help with anything to a funeral dinner.
I am realy supprised someone can be so petty, especialy a homeschooler. in my opinion the homeschoolers we have met since we started a year ago seem to be on a different evolutionary scale to the other people ive met in life, there nice, genuine caring people who belive in the sharing of knowledge. this perticular person is obviously an exeption to the rule. dont let it bother you too much. take care nicolene
I was thinking this, too. I wouldn't have suggested it except that you are sad about your children's feelings and about their missing out on the new friendships. It might be worth a little swallowed pride to get to hang out with the other families. (--Not that you'd ever feel comfortable enough to take the initiative again! And who could blame you?!) But if you could meet them at the park again, you might find that the other moms could share their own stories about the control freak! /hugs!/
*Update* So ... I've come to the conclusion that this woman has some mental issues & it's best I found out about them now rather than later. I contacted 2 members of the group directly --- the only 2 I have contact info for. One, I've never met but had an email from her some time ago that I just happened to have saved still. The other is someone I've met a couple of times --- in fact, I referred HER to this group before it all went horribly wrong. Anyways, I just told them I'd been banned... didn't really know why... but that they were still welcome to come on the field trip & anyone else was, too, for that matter --- member of "that" group or not --- so if anyone said anything to them about it, please give them my contact info. Well, the group is public, so I am able to see the last few posts there. Before we evacuated a couple of days ago, these 2 women I'd contacted both had posted there in defense of me --- basically just asking why I got banned for planning a field trip. Today, I got my PC hooked back up and went to check it again --- the posts they made had been deleted and she has one fewer member in her group now --- don't know who left or what led to it, though. So -- yes -- as many of you said --- it seems like a power trip type thing & that's just not my idea of a fun friend. Even having an acquaintance like that would be WAY too much for me -- I like my drama from a distance!! lol So anyways -- just wanted to update everyone who gave me support & thank you all --- oh yeah, and to let y'all know we're still all in one piece. Later!
Glad you're still in one piece. Glad you got to talk to the other ladies. You see now that it was nothing you did at all! she's just crazy! But you are completely right, such a good thing to find out about it now. Hope your field trip goes good!
