Do you threaten to send your children to/back to public school when they aren't obedient? Last year I had just had it with my ds and really did send both of my kids back to school. This year my ds is doing wonderful and now my dd is a pain in the butt. I'm finding myself threatening her about going back, although I really don't want to. She just has such a rotten attitude about doing any of her work when I sit down with her. I've tried switching things around, changing some subjects and doing more "fun" things. She says she wants to homeschool and hated public school last year. I ask her what she thinks she wants to be doing, and she doesn't know. I hope this is a passing phase because I think I'm going to crack.
I have both threatened to send ds back to school, and threatened ds8 (who is in ps) that we won't consider hs unless it gets easier to deal with homework. I am not really proud of either of these responses. I have pretty much decided to stop. because I am not willing to follow through. What if he decides he doesn't want to hs, and is a pain to get his way... is that what I want him to learn. We have had a hard week this week, the end of the honeymoon period I think, and it has been a struggle. But I still believe that hs is what he needs, so whether it is a pain, or he is in trouble or not, we are going to hs. (I still might hold it out as a reward for ds8 though.)
Yeah, I hear ya! I was really mad at myself at threatening all the time. I also agree that the honeymoon period is over.
Yes, unfortunately, I have threatened also. I kick myself everytime I do that....I promise myself that next time those words won't come out of my mouth...but they have more than once! I don't know how to deal with my frustration at those moments.
I don't threaten because Dd actually wants to go to PS & the local high school is just not an otion! It has the worst reputation of any school in the district & I can't afford private. There are days I am tempted to threaten but bite my tongue because I know I'm not willing to follow through on the threat ~ & dd knows it too.
Unfortunately I threatened a couple times last year. I was so stressed with two babies and trying to school. It was just awful and I felt bad about it. It wasn't so much a threat as me wanting a little less stress.
Yep- don't threaten unless you can follow through . It takes away your authority, really, because the kids soon figure out you're full of baloney! Been there, done that! Lol.
I agree. My kids are too little for this us to have been dealing with the issues you guys have discussed yet, but I have thought about "what if." I cannot imagine I would threaten to send them to school, not so much from idealism as that I know my husband would never agree to send them to ps, so it's not really much of a threat if it could not happen.
I am like the rest of you. I have threatened it out of moments of frustration. "If you don't straighten up and do your work when it is supposed to be done then you're going back to school" etc, etc. He really had a problem with taking an hour to do 10 minutes worth or writing last year, it was so aggravating because he just wouldn't do it (not that he was trying and it was taking that long). Many times I have let it fly and a few times last year I was at my ropes end and probably would have (actually considered it a few times). But he actually cried the last time I said it so I try not to threaten anymore. I instead try to point out that if he were in public school he would be doing exactly what the teacher said, or he wouldn't get to get up for this reason or that...etc.
My seven year old has heard this threat. I try not to make it sound like punishment, in case I have to follow through. I don't think the school district would appreciate receiving a child whose parent has painted the school as purgatory! When he is refusing to cooperate, I've had to let him know that if he won't do school with me, then I HAVE to send him to school. I think it would do a world of good to send him to public school for just a month or so. I think he'd come home more appreciative of his tailor-made curriculum and flexible schedule. I'd do it, but again, I don't think the school district would appreciate me enrolling my child for a few months just to improve his cooperation at home. Besides, I'd hate to send him to school and have everything we've been working on "click" while he's there. They'd get the credit for my two years of painful, hair-greying labor. I've been know to break a sweat as he tries to sound out a word by glancing at it and then letting his eyes swim around the room taking in everything EXCEPT the letters on the page, and I have gotten entirely out of breath as he makes one stroke of a letter and then drops his pencil and then take two mintues to pick it up only to return to his task and realize that he's forgotten what letter he's writing -- by the end of a word, I'd feel as if I'd run around the block. By golly, when that kind of labor bears fruit, I want to be there! So, I guess in fact, my threat is baseless after all.
uh.. she said with a mischieveous look.. No... uh, I threaten them with keeping them home through COLLEGE! ( giggle snicker snicker)
Okay, in reality, it has never been a choice of something to threaten them with, I would threated more with more work if they gave me trouble.
I did threaten in the first year.....but not since then. No matter how awful they are - they're stuck with me, lol!
Ummm..... no never. Ok, I admit I did this just yesterday in fact. I feel terrible and I do plan on talking to my ds and telling him I was being rotten and I'm sorry.
In frustration and occasionally but really, I find it's a useless thing to do and is one of those stopgap measures that only works very short term and inevitably erodes respect and trust.
I've probably said it a time or two in the first few months but not since. My kids know that part of the reason (but not the only reason) that we began our HS adventure was because the local school district didn't meet my standards when we moved here. I think I really have only said it to my son recently and then the threat was I'd send him there all day and then he'd have to come home and do his homeschool work too (so he's learn something that day!!) He was distracting his sisters terribly that day so it was more a threat to be quiet My kids know that as long as we live here that they will not attend public school (esp thru middle school). Since they've only attended a Dept of Defense school in KY and we're now in VA, they don't "miss" the schools here....so they are aren't asking to go....although my oldest does ask on occasion if I'll ever let her go to "school". I assured her that when she's ready for community college classes in the late high school years, she'll go :lol::lol:
Rhonda, rofl about your answer with community college! That's good! Jomama- I now threaten no video games (and follow through...haha...now I can do that!) When he's doing the complaining or fit throwing or....(the list goes on and on, you get the picture) then I say calmly "This is your warning....one more time I have to tell you to do work and you will have no video games". My ds is a video game addict (which I'm trying to control! He actually chose NOT to play video games after school work this eve. because he wanted to help me bake a pie in a few minutes....I was SHOCKED!) But anyhow....those are my threats now and they work so much better and there are no tears....just cooperation!
i must say dh has done it at the start but i think it is a horrible thing to say to her given that she was bullied badly in school, so we agreed not to do it again we still have bad days were she does not want to work but we have other nasties and lots of rewards
