I have discovered that all I needed to get my dh more involved was to ASK his opinion! It was that simple! I asked about a curriculum that I borrowed from the library (SOTW), and he told me straight-out what he thought. ("No, I don't want you using that." And this was AFTER I had already decided FOR it, lol! So we didn't use it!) Then I started talking over ALL my curriculum choices with him. AND he SHOCKED me by wanting to go Thursday night to the Conference, when they just had the Vendor's Hall open! If you can, take your husband to hear Todd Wilson. He's funny, but very pointed. He speaks to the heart of the homeschooling dad, and will tell him all the things you need for your husband to hear. He really made an impact on mine!
Sorry but mine is the bestest! :wink: I think we had that conversation before hehe. My dh helps me pick out curric. would teach them if he didn't have to be the bread winner, and would happily trade places with me any day if he could. That aside, he really does not know how easy it is to get through the work, thinks it is more difficult to get the kids to do thier work than it really is. When we are in sink its easy to do hsing with him and his schedule, when his sched changes then things go haywire and nothing gets done, I understand the statement in the first post regarding the house work coming second fiddle, its second to schooling. Hubbies don't always know what to say when we stress out over all that we are working on wiht the kids but they will sure rejoice when we tell them little joey got it today! :lol:
Sigh.... I'm not even going to get drawn into this argument! It's a waste of time trying to convince you all what every sane person knows...that MINE is the best!!!
Ya knwo waht? We are all right! ( Man my typing is dislexic today!) Ours are all bestest for each us!
amen sisters! we are all so lucky to have them! We got married ar 20 and 22 and everyone thought we were crazy. we were crazy for each other and here we are 9 years later!:love:
My husband doesn't get involved, either. What ticks me off at him is when he coreects me on something I've said that's wrong, or I left something out. When we did Cinco De Mayo last year, I mispronounced something. He pops up and says it correctly, with emphasis. Lol- I told him step up whenever he's ready. Now, what I will never understand is the men who complain about the house. Why is that their right? They did not marry their moms, or a maid! And please- no one say they have a right, after working all day, to expect a clean house. Don't you- after all the mental fatigue of homeschooling, deserve a break, too? I'll be 100 years old and just never understand that.
:roll: Since when does ANY guy have the "right" to be critical, simply because they work all day? Yes, I think they SHOULD expect a fairly clean house, but if it isn't, they might consider pitching in every now and then, rather than fussing about it.
Dh and I was watching an old Bill Cosby comedy special yesterday. Cosby pointed out that he has seen his wife's job and does not want his wife's job because it is the hardest job in the world! Add hs'ing on top of that! We're dag on super-women! Especially those of us (not myself...I don't have this super power yet) who can do it all AND keep the house spotless! I'm lucky if I can school the kids and do my own school and get the dishes done (that part looks the worse if not done, and we don't have a dishwasher! ug!). I tip my cup to you ladies! You rock!
But why 'expect' it? I see hsing and child rearing as full time work, the same as, say, my husband's full time job that he goes to. In other words, I see it as both spouses working full time. Why is one expected to take on the task of keeping the house up while the other doesn't? Does that make more sense? I'm up way too late to be eloquent, lol.:wink:
lol becky. It is late! I know what you're saying. I think it's just the way that rolls traditionally have been over much time. I consider myself to have 3 full time jobs (hs mom, homemaker, college student) and 1 part time (writer) and honestly I would say (and dh agrees) that I work a lot harder than he does and 24/7. I (and I'm sure many of you as well! well, any mom probably) doesn't get the luxury of getting off at 5 and relaxing in front of the t.v. for the rest of the evening. well, to be fair, my dh doesn't either, he is oncall and often works into the late night, but still, when he's off he's off and relaxing. You get what I mean. btw...I'm not complaining, I knew what I was getting into (time wise and stress wise) when I decided to homeschool....ditto for college. So please don't think I'm complaining about what all I do...I re-read my post and it came across that way, lol.
ROFLMBO!~ Ain't that the truth? I prefer mine NOT helping, Bless his heart! He messes up my whole system. lol As for the mess of the house, he use to have a fit about it. Since his arrival home is never the same time I told him this..... we LIVE in the house. It's not like when he was growing up that all the kids are in school and mom gets to clean uninterupted. We school in the home. He agrees that is #1 priority. If it was important to him that the house be clean when he walked into the door, then he needed to call me 30 minutes before he comes home. That gives us plenty of time to do a quick "tidy"! So, now if he comes home and the house is a mess and he DARES to say something, I say very, very nicely "Gee, you didn't call!" lol
My husband was all for it when we first started to homeschool but wasnt involved much, then the last two years he has been more involved but he adds more work to my already schedule I have with the kids. It gets me frustrated its too much work but he says its fine. We are still struggling with it with the kids and me rebeling about the added work. I miss our Friday movie unit study days. I appreciate the help on subjects I have a hard time with but sometimes I wish it was back to where he wasnt putting his input in it. Sam
My dh is quite supportive. (although he was not convinced it was the right move) Once the decision was made he was behind it. But he doesn't help much. He does keep saying he will work with math more, but except for pop quizes on mult. facts...that hasn't happened. He does notice stuff though. ds will ask him about something, or we will talk about WWII or Greenland or something that we have read about. I do give him kind of a verbal report on what discussions we had. (especially since we don't do a lot of writing.) He has always been pretty supportive of the "happy kids are more important than a clean house" although lately when we got "priced out" of a cleaning lady he has been a little more frustrated. The underwear fairy did not come yesterday...I hate when that happens! Plus I am back in school too. (and I work part-time) We have joked about my working full time and him staying home...we did try it once and he lasted about 4 months. (I stayed home for a whole year once! but I am a nicer person when I have work to go to, lucky for me it is kind of like a really well paying hobby) I am a much better nurse than I am a housekeeper. :lol: I am doing better than I expected on the teaching stuff. ha.
She's really beginning to irritate me when she can't keep her schedule straight!!! I just might sick the tooth fairy on her!
HSing is definitely a team effort here. See both hubby and I work full time (but I work 12-14 hour days to have 4 days a week off), so Mon, Tues I am lead teacher Wed we team up and separate the boys if needed to work on problem areas and Thurs he's lead teacher. Fridays they are with the babysitter and they do some review sheets and she reads a lot with them. So if hubby or I either stopped being fully involved the boys would have to go to Public School. I do feel really lucky though that my dh is so involved in both schooling and housework (he does dishes and folds and puts away laundry and vacuums and takes out the trash, the children and I do the rest). Though there are days where one of the other of us just doesn't feel like doing anything but it doesn't happen often.
Hello, I'm new to this site and have only been homeschooling since about April. My husband is very supportive of me HS the kids. We kinda have no choice on the matter. We travel alot in our RV and he works 7 days a week part of the time and the rest for the most part reg time. He has never once sat down with our children to teach them anything HS related. I am fine with it for the most part. However he tends to come home and go into couch potato mode and this I am not satisfied with. Learning is not an eight hour routine and then it stops. I feel my husband, though I know he is tired and has worked all day (like myself) should put effort into doing something with his children. To simply be satisfied just because he trusts that I am all that is needed in this part of their lives is not good enough. Children learn from behaivor as well. His current example of mommy can solely handle this is not justified. I feel we are a team and should act as one. I still cook, clean and maintain everything orderly surrounding our children so why does he think parenting (HS) ends at the money train? When I worked my job didn't end simply because I walked through the door of my house (I'm sure alot of you moms can understand this). My husband and me do have a good relationship I just feel the need to rant a bit. I bring up very good points so much so that I will talk to him first thing tomorrow when he gets home lol. Thanks for all the helpful comments that has helped to put clarity in my mind. Anyways that's the end of my soap box rant. Have a great Monday tomorrow!
I said almost the exact same thing to my husband a few days ago. He forces me to do all the parenting, because he feels he does his part by brining in a check. He refuses to step in when my son is mouthy or my daughter is giving me baloney over school work. He won't do maintenance things around the house. I told him this is a poor example for the little one, as she will think it's okay to marry some guy who is totally uninvolved with his family. And, of course, I come off looking like a b*tch all the time, because I grouse about it.:roll:
Oh yea, know exactly whatcha talking about. In our case, dh works 14 hrs a day. It's physically demanding and draining job. I try to be giving about it, but it drives ME NUTS when he plopps, turns on the tv and can't understand why the kids are distracted from their schoolwork. DUH! Most times I feel guilty to say anything. He's a good man who had a serious injury a few years ago and he fought and struggled to go to work everyday to provide for us while injured. I sometimes have to realize that he put forth all he could that day just to make sure we have a house and food. Sometimes we can talk about it and he tries. Then we end up in the old pattern after awhile. And sometimes, (hanging head in shame) I pull that little devil out and manipulate very deviously to get him involved.
