Now that we're in the groove of homeschooling we found that keeping a set schedule is very important. We tried doing school whenever but that made it hard for our child to concentrate. She needs to wake up and do school right after breakfast--if she starts playing first we can't get her to settle down and concentrate or listen. We also found that skipping too many days leads to her forgetting what she learned last time so we spend lots of time on review. We can't do every day because we don't have her every day so she does about 4 days a week. My husband's parents just don't understand this! They act like we can just "reschedule school" because it's homeschool and we can do whatever we want. They want extra playdays with her (on her school days) or have her spend the night. But they don't make sure she gets to bed on time so the next day she's crabby and can't concentrate. They also let her go nuts with the sugar and TV so the next day she's wound up. They totally support our choice to homeschool, but they don't understand that it's a job, just as much as going to work every day is. They don't understand how much of a struggle it is to get as far as we've gotten (they think their granddaughter is brilliant) so they can't see how it could POSSIBLY be hard to get her to read or do her math. We have our schedule because it makes our job easier. When she's up late they think that we can just let her sleep in...but that throws off OUR schedule for the day when we're trying to homeschool her in the afternoon and then it's straight to her activities. Also, no matter how much she sleeps in, she's still tired the next day and doesn't concentrate. Any suggestions? How can we make them see that our homeschool needs to be like regular school on a schedule?
Tell them what you've just said here. You're the parents. You don't have to justify any of your decisions to anyone. When they say they want to do 'x,y, and z,' all you say is, "Here is her schedule for the week and the times she's available. We allow one field trip per month that breaks from the normal schedule." [or whatever rule you have in that regard] Let your husband take the lead here and lay down the law. Your daughter is available at these days and times only. No discussion.
BAMB! That's right, baby! Be firm, with love and that is it. If they argue, close the door or hang up the phone, while giggling. Then, show up at THEIR house at 4am for an "Outing'!If they protest, say, "But you have all the time in the world to get back on schedule, geeeesh!!" Bwaaa haa haa! :twisted:
You have the right to say NO. It takes awhile to get used to - but you can say that word My mom has FINALLY gotten it in her head to ask me ahead of time about our schedule or what she would like to do - no longer 1 week in advance but a few at least. It can take awhile - but you can get there!!
State in a very kind manner that school is between the hours of ? and ?, no exceptions. They are more than welcome to visit any other time but during those hours the children are in school. You can always make a cute sign for your front door if you don't want to be disturbed!
And we have a rule that there are no overnighters with anyone, even other homeschoolers, during the week, cuz that's totally going to mess them up! Your parents should know better than that! At any rate, I agree, set the hours of schooling, when overnighters are allowed, and stick to that schedule! Invite them to come on fieldtrips with you, but they can't just come visit whenever they feel like it or expect ya'll to visit them if it's during those hours!
I'm with everyone else. You're the parent. You're the teacher. You decide when she's "excused" from schoolwork. I'll tell you, at my house, I don't even answer the phone during or before school lessons unless it's my DH...because YES, my friends call me. Because I have all the time to catch up on stuff around here. They don't honor not interrupting, so I don't answer the phone. I also just don't explain why unless asked. <sigh> I get tired of repeating myself. That's what my kids are for, right? And you know - between doctors, dentists, and other unavoidables, we get interrupted enough!
I used to have so many obligations on any given Sunday with church activities that I only had 30 to 60 minutes to myself at home and part of that was spent on changing clothes and eating...and for years my mother would ALWAYS call on Sunday even though I told, asked, and pleaded with her that it was the worse day of the week for me to have a chat. I can remember many a time juggling the phone while changing clothes and chewing food. It just did not make a difference because it was the best day for her and she believed that I should have nothing going on because she didn't. Thing is, I did not have to answer the phone, so was it really her fault or mine? (Of course, I justified myself because I was always worried that it was some about her health and that I should answer.) Even if I told some people that we have 8 to 2 set aside for homeschooling, it would not mean to them that they should not call. Some people overstep boundaries regardless, because they believe you could not possibly be including them, so you either screen your calls or you just say no and give them another option when you can. You cannot change people, you can only control how you will respond to them.
Setting boundaries with homeschooling, family life and family can be stressful. Our family lives 12+ hours away so we don't have quite the same issues. Communicate with our family your needs and desires. Help them see that they too can be key players in your daughters educational success. You might want to do "grandparent time" on the weekends-- then maybe it will be less likely to affect school time. Good luck!!
I would suggest that you try allowing gram and grampa try the schooling side as well... I understand at 7 she will have many years to learn in, and yes homeschool can be a flexible thing. Why do you only have her 4 days a week? Also why not have her do more school the day before she would go to grams house then she will be on schedule ... ya know my kids did not grow up seeing thier GPs so please allow yours the chance to spend time, send "home work" for them to help her with, they may see why you need to keep things on task. Uh,,, ramble ramble ramble, but seriuosly, try changing the way things are the day before, that would be the best thing.. I always explained to my kids when we were going to be missing school on a day that we had to keep the work up so we would split it and do some the day before and some the day after...
We only have her 4 days a week, the other days she is at her mom's. Her mom has decided she does not want anything to do with homeschooling (that is fine with us) and grandma and grandpa do not want to do work with her. They don't actually spend time with her, she comes over to play with her stepuncle and stepaunt and usually they are doing projects around the house. Later they do a family activity like watching a movie. With both of us working full time, my husband at home and me at my job we homeschool her when it fits in our schedule. He takes a few hours in the mornings and I do Saturdays and if need be, Sunday mornings. If I was a SAHM (or he was a SAHD) it would be different. We are going to write out her schedule so her grandparents can SEE how busy we are, and how busy she is. They also both work full time with their own businesses and are busy too. We can make it work, but only if we work together.
that isa great idea, then you can show them wher they can fit in.. and understand. Sometimes life just gets too busy, but this too shall pass, it wont always be that way. I had to work part time as a sub for a while last year, I hated the lack of teaching time I had not to mention everything else I had to do! Yikes! So I know busy people are gifted in getting thingd done! I cant be a working parent but I work at home writing part time and hope that will pay off someday. is there anyway anyone can become a work from home parent? that coudl help? hey I had a funny thought, if mom can't deal with home teaching why not give her less of a scheduled visit, she is parent too! IT is not fair to you and you dh, if she were in public school she would be there 5 days a week and mom would not see her that much.. maybe I am harsh but I dont think she is fair to her daughter or you!
