...to stand on the battle lines with me. I do not post as often as I would like, and I am truly blowing off some much needed catch up teaching time today to do this, but I KNOW that some of the most faithful prayer comes from you all here. Plus, it is SO sensitive, I cannot share with very many people personally. I warn y'all this is a sensitive subject, but, I wll try and not give too much detail, so we can go ahead and pray. I have a 9th grader who is in Public School, and is a member of the Track Team. I have recently begun a friendship with another Mom whose son is a relay teammate of my son's, and a VERY good kid. He and my son are starting to become friends. (This school is so big that unless you are involved with someone in something, you do not otherwise get to know them.) This woman and her son are of a different race than we. We (anyone in my household) couldn't care less. Well, maybe we could. One thing my DH and I have tried extra hard and prayed in the years we are raising our kids is that skin color and background differences are no differrent that hair color differences. Same with church denomination, everything. You'd think that would not be so darned hard for adults to get their head & heart around, but it is. We have gone so far as to make decisions about school, neighborhood, and church based on those social demographics just to make sure our kids are in an environment with ALL different kinds of people, both racial, working class, financial class, you name it. My DH is a bi racial person, but a lot of people do not realize it because of what he "looks like". We make sure our kids know and are fine with it, proud of it, whatever. I mean, c'mon already people of God, if not now, when!!!! OK, so yesterday we had a Track meet. I am sitting next to this new friend Mom person, chatting about our kids, summer plans, normal stuff, etc. and all of a sudden out of nowhere, my mother starts this rant about another (third) race of people, speaking of all of them as if they were of one mind, and said " I have become such a -----(insert name of people) bigot." and went on with her complaints as though she were proud of her opinion. I tried to derail my Mom, to no avail. Not only did she hijack the conversation, but poured this hatred out of her mouth that could compromise my and my son's reputaion, relationships, but she really broke my heart. For all she knows, this lady is realted to, married to, or whatever of that race. Or maybe she is like me. I need to call the other Mom and apologize on behalf of my Mom without disrepecting my Mom. I do not know this lady very well, so I am concerned of how I will come across. I am not willing to slander my Mom, but I am NOT willing to stand and tolerate hatred crap. Especially if it was created to get a memorable conversation with this lady. I honestly do not know WHAT my Mom is thinking. So... I have been praying that... ..if this is a deeply rooted thing in my Mom, that it will be dissolved and transformed. ...that there is NO part of it in me. ... in confession on behalf of my Mom ( EZRA 9) ...for wisdom on how to talk to the friend Mom, and MY Mom. ...my mother's salvation. This kept me up, and I have been praying and crying this morning. I need to make both phone calls, in the midst of all the crazy hectic homeschool stuff my obstinate, unmotivated pre-teen 7th grader will throw at me today. I know a few of you will stand with me in front of stupid hatred like this for the sake of the Gospel, and I thank God for you. I will update when I have one, but I hope I can be friends with this woman and her really trust me. May I find a way to glorify HIM. Thanks, Miller:angel:
Sounds like a "rock and hard place" situation. I pray all will work out fine and you'll be able to keep this new friend and your feelings about your mom.
(((hugs))) I am sorry. Prayed for you. Prayed for God to be your Shelter, for Him to be your Song, and to lead your heart and mind. Prov. 16:3 tells us that if we commit our way unto him, he will establish our thoughts. This is a truth I know He has given me the thoughts for all sorts of things in life, big or little, He cares and will be faithful!
My mother thinks a lot of racial sterotypes are true. It just kills me to hear her say all of one race of people have small feet and another are all scared of dogs and snakes. It makes no sense to me at all. She believes this stuff! I will be praying for you. Beth
Sorry that happened. My parents were bigots and tried to break dh and I up because of his "race". I am color blind, race does not matter to me, its what is inside that matters. (((( ))))
I will be praying for a softening of hearts and guidence and grace for you. It is so frustrating that we are still dealing with this today. My girls have a byracial friend and they have a hard time understanding why people would be so ignorant and rude. We are teaching our girls the same as you color and ethnicity don't matter people are people!!! Stay strong.
None of my family has ever noticed color! In fact, my parents were so all inclusive, that kids adored them! We had friends that called them mom and dad, and there were many ethnicities represented! I loved it! My kids are that way too! I'm sad that people would treat other rudely because they are different, no matter what the difference is! I'm sorry I missed this yesterday, but I am praying now for you , your friend, and your mom! Please update us when you can!
Any update yet? If this would have been me (in the other mom's shoes), I personally would not judge anyone based on what another individual has said...even if it was their mother. If I were her, I would appreciate the apology (even though it's not warranted really) and I would feel blessed in knowing someone was concerned about my feelings.
Thank you dear moms, for your prayers and understanding. I have talked with my (mother)Mom, but unfortunately I have not yet talked with the other (friend)Mom. We have a meet tomorrow a.m. (that my Mom will not be attending, BTW), and hopefully I can talk with her then. Her son has a nickname for a first name, and a very common last name, so I cannot find her in the school directory. I wanted to catch her son at practice and ask him her # but could not. Anyway, it did not go very well with my Mom, but could have definitely been worse. She just wanted to argue & yell and "How dare you accuse me..." kind of stuff. I kept my cool and told her that I did not say this without a broken heart, and without a lot of prayer. Even if she rolls her eyes at my praying, I still wanted her to hear me make that point. I told her that it really did not matter what she "meant" or THINK she "made clear", but is what people choose to hear, and that simply was not appropriate stadium conversation. Personally I do not think she has dealt honestly with her heart, becuase she was so defensive. She also did this bit about "I have a --- friend..." When that did not work with me, she decided to cry and tell me she could not handle all the pain it caused her for me to constantly criticize her and act like I am always embarrassed by her. (This was invented on the spot.) So I think she may not talk to me for about a month. But I can live with that. She did say that she could see my point, but just had to make her point the last word. My sons know about it (mostly), and are very sad. Youngest is burdened to pray for her. Oldest is ashamed and sad she may not want to come watch him run. Maybe all this seems like no big deal...but the more I pray about it, it IS. Perhaps God has called me to be sensitive to these things for a purpose. I would honestly love to see these ridiculous prejudices come to an end in my lifetime. If anyone seed this before 9:00 a.m. central, pray I will have an opportunity to talk to that other Mom with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You all are wonderful support. Truly. Praise Him He Lives, Miller
I forgot to add a praise note to that... The last couple of months have been very very very hard on my 7th grader and me. We are arguing, struggling to get him to get his work done, have several big deadlines, etc. He has been grounded since mid January for a BIG deal discipline thing, and since he has broken so many promises about school work it has gotten harder & harder. Twice this week I have broke down over this and just said I cannot go one more day. We have all been there. But this has gotten to the point where every day is a failure. But, today was a near perfect day. Not only did he get everything finished without being nagged, but we had this awesome field trip that gave him inspiration for a service project for his 4H club that would affect our whole state, and we had some good talks in the car. You can't imagine how good it was. Dare I say better than a week in HI. Like an aromatherapy bath in grace. I am so very thankful for this good day. I pray it begins a trend... Miller
It sounds like you had a wonderful day and I will be praying it is the beginning of many great days for you and your son.
I don't understand people who see color. In our family, I have a bil that is Puerto Rician and Aferical America, a sil who is half Filipino, and another sil that is half Guamian (please forgive me if ANY of these are spelled wrong) Anyway, they are ALL my family, no matter what their color or back ground.
I haven't encountered the issue of race in my family or extended family but I have encountered it with other people who have commented on why I do not look Native American or Hispanic (I am part of both races). They assume that if you are part of a race you have to look the part. I do not apologize for looking the way I do because God does not hold any significance as to race. God sees us as one people; as "man." "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:11-13). Physical characteristics are not a part of God's evaluation of man ". . .The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (I Samuel 16:7). I'll be praying.
