My daughter walks around moping all the time about how depressed she is. She has very few interests. I cannot even get her to read a book anymore and she often tries to run off and lay in her bed. She does get in trouble for that, but there is a lot of whining going on. If I leave the house (dh works from home so he is there, but not watching her constantly) she will simply return to bed. I have offered every activity within a 30 mile radius, she has an excuse and says she does not like this or that. I have tried to push her in to various activities, but she says no and is very insistent that she not do them. She is doing cello now and playing with the city prep orchestra and likes that. But in the meantime, she refuses to do or try anything else. I am really thinking she needs more going on in her life as her life currently consists of a lot of time in bed and me trying to drag her out all day long. I am pregnant and tired and very tired of dragging her out of bed. We are on vacation in Hawaii right now and I still have to drag her out of bed many times. I took her to a psychologist who feels while she is depressed, this largely comes from boredom and that she needs to be involved in something, anything. That was a few months ago and I have gotten very little out of her. Oh, she does do swordsmanship too, but the class is down to 3 kids with only her and her brother showing at this point so there is little outlet there. So I am thinking it is time to just sign her up for things and tell her she has to go whether she likes it or not. Our town has tennis next month for the spring and then I figured I would force her in to swimming over the summer, she won't object to that. I had her take the fitness swim class last summer after I discovered that I was a much stronger swimmer by far than any of the kids. But the tennis is in the spring and fall only (it is way too hot here in the summer) so I figured I would put her in a dance class for the summer. Over the summer, it is only an 8 week commitment with no commitments to a recital so I figure if she really hates it that much at the end of the summer, she can pick something else or stay in it. How does that sound?
I think it sounds great, she is lucky to have you. I wondered whether the psych is pro or anti hs? If they are anti hs, then they can sometimes say stuff like that because of their own preconcieved notions. Also, teenagers do need more sleep apparently....
Maybe earning money would be something that may strike her interest. It is spring time so many people need their yards raked and cleaned up. Just a suggestion!
Red Cross Candy Striper? This was on my mind, because yesterday was a special anniversary for a man I met on my first day as a candy striper (or whatever they call them now) at a nursing home when I was 13. I volunteered until I was old enough to get a paying job, and then I maintained my contact with this man who was young compared to the other residents. He'd been paralyzed in an accident when he was in his early twenties. The volunteer experience itself was very positive for me, and my friend was a great influence on my life (and on the lives of many other young people -- he had a gift for communicating with teens). Anyway, I don't know if the Red Cross has its teen volunteer porgram anymore, but I thought I'd toss that out as an idea.
well have you gone to your local library to look for things for her to do. Sometimes they are looking for Vol. too. How old is she? Does she have chores to do around the house? Might want to add them. Look into alot of vol. work at parks and stuff with summer coming up. She will like it once she gets in the door. She might be just shy and needs a little push.
Does she have friends she hangs out with? Maybe she just needs more time with kids her age? Plan a playdate! It may be silly to plan this for a teen, but if someone else is there, maybe it will perk her up a bit? Is she introverted or extraverted? I'm an extravert and I know I get depressed if I don't get enough people time. And for me it must be adult time. I'm with my kids all the time, but I need stimulating conversation with other adults to keep me happy. Are there any homeschool coops around you? Maybe she could get involved with some activites and meet other homeschoolers there? Good luck! Keep us updated! Edie
Animal Shelters sometimes have volunteer programs as well... libraries also. Earning $$ can be a big motivator (at least it is sometimes for my son!)... Strange as it sounds - even playing online games can help.... my kids are into wizard101 .com right now and even I will play It's free and they like it.... they play together which is pretty cool. Do you have a 4-H program in your area? Sometimes they have special interest groups like cooking/robotics etc - not always animals related...
MY dd voolunteers at the library in the summers too, its a good way to keep her active and they help other kids out so she coudl meet a new friend? Maybe that is part of what she needs is one good friend. My dd seems depressed at times when there is nothing but reading to do, she loves to read though so that is different, but personally I like your game plan. Tell her she needs to do these things as PE class so there is no choice and grade her on it! Give her bonus for doing good, with good attitude etc. You said young teen, not sure what that means anymore some people call 12 yr olds teens these days! lol Try to help her find a good friend, and encourage her to 'have fun' in life, watch movies that she likes and things, but don't go over baord cause she will end up milking it! ha!
My daughter started to chat online here with a few other teen girls (from homeschool spot group) with yahoochat its nice because they can leave each other messages they dont have to be there. I also got her in a girlscout troop and sent her to camp so that really helped too. I know sort of what you are going through mine was doing that last year and wanting to go back to school and just moping I was worried. Now with her girl scout anime troop Online buddies And now we found a really good youth group with our church its looking much better she is happier and not so moody. Sam
Frugal you can start with girl scouts at what ages? I mean mine is older but may be interested in that still... I wish they had girl forest guards here like they did in BC.
I think brownies are like 5/6yrs my own daughter is 16yrs now and they can be in girl scouts forever I am still a member after all these years.
hmm my dd is almost there already, we never found a group in our area when they were younger and driving was a problem in those days, but maybe I can find something.. we have done 4-h , etc,
The best medicine for a mopey person (of any age!) is to get out and help someone else! I definitely suggest you tell her she has to pick an volunteer project (you could make it part of homeschool so she has to do it) and then get her involved in something she wants to help. Animals, young children, retirement home, soup kitchen, environmental group...the possibilities are endless! All of our programs for helping depressed people involve them first helping others. It really brightens someone up to know they make a difference and it really does snap them out of their funk! She needs a game and she needs to know she is needed. I guarantee that will be the cure!
