that is the question... my 6 year old daughter is in public school and I am thinking about homeschooling her next year, for various reasons. I don't know how she would be socialized without school though???
Socialization.. the big myth that homeschoolers are unsocialized is soooooooo far fetched! For activities with children their own ages, if that is a concern for you, there is scouts, sports, homeschool groups, clubs etc. Here is a question for you.. how do you feel public school socializes children? They spend the whole day being told to sit down and shut up. Socializing isn't even allowed freely at lunch in most schools.. you sit here and keep the volume on low. Another question... would you rather she be socialized with the bully on the school bus or would you rather she meets the nice lady at the bakery? Would you rather she be socialized by the older child on the play ground who lets the curse words fly or would you rather she have a few close friends that come over to play from time to time allowing you to see that they are playing in a way you approve of?
I agree with crazymama. There are plenty and plenty of socialization opportunities for homeschool kids. Do some research in your area for homeschool groups. Look into area sports like gymnastics, YMCA, karate, etc. There are also music programs and such. And, if you're a church-goer, don't forget that your child will socialize with children through that avenue as well. You'll probably find yourself like many homeschoolers and having to turn down social activities rather than having the problem of not having any at all. And remember, not all socialization is good socialization. At school, you don't have much of any control at all over which kind your daughter will have.
Stop a minute and think of what she does OUTSIDE of school that has her spending time with other kids her own age. My kids are involved with sports and church, plus one takes art classes at the Rec Center. There's also clubs such as Scouts and 4-H (though we don't take part in those!) Add to this playing with kids in the neighborhood. There's plenty of opportunity for "socialization"!
A quick word on Socialization: My stepdaughter did first grade in a public school. She made friends in class who were mean, she had trouble with a bully, and she was forever getting in trouble for talking during class. In fact, she went to a birthday party of one of her classmates and the birthday girl started dancing and took her shirt off stripper style! (FIRST GRADE!) She was irritable at home, often lashing out or spending time crying because "nobody liked her." She resorted to giving away her snacks and desserts to get friends. So sad. Over the summer she had a birthday party and invited all 28 kids from her class. 2 showed up. She had a second birthday party (with dad and me) and invited kids from her gymnastics class. She had all the kids show and had a blast! We homeschooled her for 2nd grade. She's also done swimming, soccer, karate and gymnastics and has friends from all over. She has to turn down playdates. They are all sweet kids that we approve of. She now has many friends who like her. She is no longer irritable and doesn't cry about her friends anymore. Instead she can't wait to see them! She has friends that are homeschooled AND that are not. She's much more outgoing now as well. Just our story
You had five years of socializing your daughter without school before she started school. How did you deal with that?
School socialization was a strong incentive for me not to put my children in school. :angel: Your daughter will have plenty of opportunities to socialize with others -- probably a lot more than she does now in school. Don't let that concern keep you from doing what you know is best for her.
Everyone else said it well already, but when I get the socialization comment, my answer is now, "It is the socialization I am trying to avoid!" :wink: I then go on to say my children are socialized by the older people they visit at the nursing home, the people they meet during community service projects, homeschool group, ballet, band, drama club, etc. I also say that I am letting them be socialized by people that can help them grow into being great at whoever they are and not socialized by people equally insecure in themselves and only can be built up by pushing others down. That pretty much puts an end to that line of questioning.
Ok so for the first question, i agree and have thought that one through over and over. The second question, however, is where I have concerns. Where do I find these few close friends? I know I can link with people that homeschool through various avenues of communication. That in itself makes me nervous-- to be honest. Thank you for your response and for making sure that I check all my P's and Q's
You find them at church, sports, dance, classes (art, music, drama), gymnastics, find a homeschool group.
You would probably be amazed at how many people in your community homeschool, I know I was. When we joined our homeschool group last year we found out that there was another homeschool family right down the street from us with a child the same age as our youngest. They are now really good friends. Freinds have also been made at the co-op we go to. Belonging to the co-op also gives the kids a chance to experience a "class" setting and working with other kids on projects and such. It is educational and fun. It is harder for the kids to make friends the older they are. Once in high school the schedule can be so busy that it is difficult. Sd who did not start hs until 9th grade has found it difficult but not impossible. She now has some friends and is really looking foward to her prom next month(see the kids do not have to miss a thing )
Honestly, my oldest made NO friends in public school in 2 whole years. In 2 years time, no kids came over to play, no kids came to birthday parties etc. Garrett played baseball because we forced him for those same 2 years. He made no friends in baseball really, he would play with the kids at practice, but none ever came to our house, he never went to theirs etc. The first year home he joined scouts. He has made 1 pretty good friend there. They don't spend a ton of time together, and we don't live near each other.. in fact they just moved and now live 25 minutes away each way.. but we try to take turns once a month of hosting a sleep over. We live in the country so other kids are scarce. We have a lot of trouble with Garrett's behavior. The dr suggested that maybe we should put him in school for a year or two so he can see how other children his age behave.. he sees this quite well at scouts.. and honestly, his behavior got a million times worse the 2 years he was in public school. I'm also not impressed with the conversations I hear when I go to his scout meetings.. talking about this violent video game or that one and watching things like South Park and Family Guy on tv.. ummmm no thanks!
The park, library, dance, and so on. Something to remember is that socialization isn't simply about our children playing with other children. It is about getting along in a real world that isn't available in the public schools institutionalized setting. Your child will have a much better opportunity to socialize with people of all ages, races, and genders outside of public school than they would in public school. Your child will also be able to apply what is being taught in school. Application makes all the difference as to how a child retains the information they are taught. Something to think about, do children only socialize during public school hours? If they do, then this means the rest of the world isn't socialized because the majority of adults are no longer in school. The public school offers a different type of socialization than homeschooling. Yes it is socialization but at what cost? Your child will also socialize as a homeschooler if you are willing to do what it takes to see it happens. No, my daughter isn't sitting at a desk next to 25 students her age, five days a week, but even if she was, how many would she actually "socialize" with? My daughter has more true friends as a homeschooler than her friends that attend public school have and the friendships are based upon true friendship. They aren't trying to fit into a group or be who they are not. I personally find many homeschooler's friendships are more authentic because they aren't based on trying to impress. Of course there are exceptions. Unless you live far from society, you should be able to find places for your child to get involved and make friends.
My boys are proof that homeschooling works and you can have prosperous and successful kids even after graduation. Sometimes someone will comment that my boys are "SHY", no, they are not shy, they are POLITE! Big difference! When someone tells me they are shy I tell them they are polite. After they get to know my boys they tell me that I was correct, they are polite. My boys are very outgoing and don't have issues with socialization, never have. With their positions at work they are required to deal with the public all day long and they do it well. So, no, I do not think socialization is an issue.
My sister was and is to this day a quiet person. She was never very social as a child and she was in public school.
To echo the others: my kids get plenty of socialization. They have met friends at church, the library, homeschool park days,tae kwan do, and just kids in our neighborhood. If we were more involved in a homeschool group, I'm sure they'd even have more friends. We where we lived previously, and they did meet more children. Interestingly, they had about the same number of close friends as they do here. My kids are *very* outgoing. It has nothing to do with being homeschooled or not - it's their personalities. I made a "quick" run to Home Depot this morning that lasted about twice as long because my 6yo kept asking store employees, "Excuse me. What is this? What is it for? How does it work? What is it made of?" and so on. But now he knows about tiki torches, smokers, and t posts for fencing. I did not plan on covering those topics in his school lessons. LOL
I have that all time with my oldest. They are just polite and respect people is what I tell everyone.
I just can't resist sound off on this one as I think both questions merit the same answer. Forgive me if I seem harsh at all. Socialization in a classroom is crap. Complete, total, and (often) smelly crap. When you "grow up" and enter the "real world", how many people are you around all day that are within 12 months of you in age? Let's say you've got an office full of 50 people. We all know that there's probably only 1 or 2 that close to you in age. What are you supposed to do? Be rude to the other people because they are a different age? I don't think so!!! The best thing you can do for your child to be ready, IMHO, for the real world is to have him or her live in it and not blasted rotten classroom!! There...I feel better now. I hope this has helped you if for nothing more than a chuckle.
