This may have been brought up before but I was wondering when is a good age to introduce sex ed in homeschool curriculium? My boys are 9 and 11. I think this is a good age but DH says no way,too young. I think we may have been in the 4th grade or so when I was in school.
I agree with dh, why teach it this young? They dont need to know what to do yet, if you just mean to teach them about thier own bodies changing, teach that as they ask or as needed because of thier changes.
Really? It just dawned on me the other day when I heard these kids outside my window taking about experiences. They couldn't have been more than 10 or 11. Then DH told me he was doing it at 12! He said that he started because his dad told him about it. It had the opposite effect on him.I think that is why he said no way. I don't mean tell them how to do it. Just what happens when you do.
I used to teach sex ed in the Catholic Schools. Classes started in 4th grade. I was also a crisis pregnancy counselor at the same time. What I taught and what I saw in real life were different. So here is my humble opinion. Are your boys asking about s#x or how babies are made, etc? Are they showing any interest in girls other than cooties? Are there situations where they are not directly under your supervision (day care, co-op, church youth group)? If they are always with you, and are not asking anything, I would wait awhile. No harm done and they don't care anyway. If they are asking some questions and maybe with other kids (older especially) for a few hours here and there, then it might be good to start the talk. They will be hearing way more and most of it wrong. But you said that your dh said NO WAY. If you are concerned then slowly start with puberty and the changing body that your older one will be experiencing in a year or so. By the time you work through that slowly, then some natural questions might come up. The biggest thing is to answer all questions honestly, openly but don't give more info than what they are asking. For example, my son (who will be a Dr as an adult I have no doubt) started asking about the baby thing at 3y after I had my dd. I did the egg and sp#rm thing, very brief and short. I swear for the next 5 yrs every 6 mo or so another piece of the puzzle would click for him and he would ask another question - each more detailed than the last. Finally at about 8y he asked THE question I knew was coming. "Mommy, how does the sp#rm get to the egg anyway?" Well, I took a deep breath and told him in very analytical terms, and as short as possible, the mechanics involved. Well, he was grossed out of course but he has never asked again. I gave him the info he needed, he understands it, and now he is done. BTW, he had never heard the word s#x, or making love or seen that stuff on TV. For him it is all biological (thank you nature programs) with none of the mystery and emotion. I think that is what gets many teens into trouble. Remember, I was a crisis preg counselor. I saw and heard a lot. I am a very firm believer in giving them the info they ask for, and only what they are asking for. The more you try to hide it and the more flustered you get in trying to talk about it, or worse, telling them you can't or won't talk about it, the more they think they need to sneak and find out for themselves. That is big trouble. I hope this helps. Sorry, I just want to add real quick. Someone said why teach this so early? If you have dd's especially, menstruation (on average) is starting at 9-10. That means girls are ovulating the month before that. If you have never talked to them before, and a little buddy suggests a new game, they have no idea it is a bad idea and the consequences of those actions. Teaching "good touch,bad touch" doesn't cover this situation because he is not a stranger or adult, and it might feel good. Heavy stuff I know, but I have seen the end result of kids left in the dark on this subject.
Well what they are asking is WHERE do baby's come from? Like "we know where they come from but how exactly do they get there. questions, questions. LOL. How is there room for the baby to grow without messing up the liver, kidneys ect. and yes they are with me everyday. No girls around really. My oldest son 11 is starting to notice girls, but they are both asking.
We bought my son a book.. something about "What's Happening to My Body A Book for Boys" last year, he was 9. We are pretty open about sex in our house. In our opinion it's a fact of life. My oldest has seem me go through 3 pregnancies, and this one has him quite curious.. so we try to explain most things to him, but also keep it on his level. We took him to our big ultrasound and he got to see things like my kidneys, my ovaries as well as the baby and all of his or her body systems. I really think that how they are taught about sex has a lot to do how they use that knowledge... hubby said his father would ask him if he had "gotten his flipper wet" starting at 10 or 11... hubby was 14 when he became active. We are more scientific and matter of fact with our kids...lol.
I say it depends on the children, every child is different and some grow up faster then others. So, you have to be the judge of it. Do you feel they are old enough to understand it all? Some kids do well with at there age, others don't understand and get gross out.
I agree with what kajmom said. Mine started asking pretty young because they saw me go through 2 pregnancy's and they were 7 during my last pregnancy. Around age 6 they wanted to know how babies formed inside mommy and all of that (great discovery DVD on that) and not long after they wanted to know how the sperm gets to the egg. It seems like the younger they are, the less weirded out they are about it. They weren't grossed out like you see kids on tv, it was not sexual to them AT ALL. I think its important to take the mystery out of it. We got them a series of books written and illustrated very tastefully by a christian couple. I cant remember what order they go in but they are called Before I Was Born, and The Story Of Me by Carolyn Nystrom. What my husband and I thought was really funny, was when we were reading them these books, WE THE GROWNUPS started to feel a little squeamish, the kids were just fine as if we were reading about any old thing. I think it depends on how your own parents treated it, and in both of our houses it was very "hush hush wait till you are married to talk about it." Our older boys are 9 now and they dont seem like really care, or are very curious and I cant help to wonder if its because they already KNOW how it works and they dont find it dirty or funny. I hear what some of the other kids are saying at 9 and I really want to know where they are hearing about these things. Its so far removed from my kids minds that they dont even get the jokes they hear from other kids on their baseball team, and I think thats a good thing.
My son who is going to be 13 in June just finished "So Your Almost 12" this winter. It is part of the sonlight curriculum. It was very well laid out. It explains the mechanics of everything. He wasn't grossed out by it. I think that when puberty starts approaching they need to know what is going on and why it is happening. As Nkdent stated my son doesn't find it dirty or funny. I think it is because he heard it from his parents first and in a scientific/natural way - nothing funny or dirty about it. Oh and now he knows what all those sticky pads are for, lol.
Take the "how do they get there" very literally. For example, "the woman has an egg and the male provides sp#rm. That fertilizes the egg and then a baby can grow." If you do it fast and sort of off-hand they may take awhile to get to the "how does the sp#rm get there?" that I had to deal with:lol:. And the ? about how the organs still work is something at us women still don't get sometimes:lol::wink:. But tell them that they all squish up and then back again. Really, just answer the questions as they come and don't volunteer anything. That way you won't give more than they are ready for. When they are ready for the next step they can ask. I know, it is really hard but so very necessary.
I remember sex ed in 4th grade. It wasn't just about intercourse, it was about the things your body goes through as you grow up. I remember us girls being told about menstruation and boys being told about things like wet dreams and all were told about hair developing and that kind of thing. My doctor said with all the stuff being given to cows to produce milk, all the changes can come faster in kids now, as the chemicals pass to them through the milk. I think I will talk to Jeannie next year, if I feel she's ready.
With girls, you need to talk to them before menstration. So if the doctor feels they are going to start "early", they need to be talked to early. I took both my girls away for the weekend. We went through some books, answered any questions they had, went out to dinner dressed up, watched some DVDs while stuffing ourselves with munchies (Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, stuff like that....), and had a great "girl" weekend, one-on-one. Carl will probably do something similar with Phillip at about age 11. (Only I DON'T want to KNOW what kind of testosterone-laced movie THEY might watch...:roll Keep in mind, that there really isn't ONE "sex-talk". It needs to be kind of on-going, answering any questions they have from a young age as honestly and age-appropriately as possible.
I did not read the all the responses. Here's the thing...on something like that your children will believe the first credible source that tells them about sex...so make sure it's you. You need to guide your children in this area. Sex is not a dirty word but a gift God gives married couples. God has a plan for sex...so for Christians we need to teach our children young. Now did I? NO WAY. Why? Because we just had the class at church on marriage and family. lol. Now I see the value in beginning an open discussion about sex early on...like about 3rd-4th grade. So, now I have to give the sex talk...yikes. There are books that can be very helpful,so I suggest finding one that you and your child can read and discuss together.
This past 2 weeks, I have introduced books on puberty to the 2 older kids (DS 11 1/2 & DD 10) Neither are showing any outwardly signs of puberty, but thought (dreaded) we had better start the discussions. At this stage, we are just reading a few books on puberty ( and they are great lighthearted books), and perhaps in the next year (or earlier if the kids ask), we will start discussing "sex" education. Neither have ever asked in questions, even when I was pregnant with # 3 (they were 9 + 7 1/2, when DD was born)
Even though he thinks they are too young to learn about sex. If I beg DH he will do the talk. Sometimes he's a little too graphic but I would think the boys would be more comfortable talking to him. Plus I don't want to do it! At times DH forgets they are children and talks to them like they are one of the guys. I don't even want to mention some of the things that come out his mouth. I have to remind him to watch it. We are Christian but sometimes our family is very unfiltered. I just have to remind him that they are 9 and 11 and not 16. (No swearing and vulgar slang). If I do that then it should be all right.
One discussion I had with my husband was that we were NOT going to have the "nudge nudge wink wink" deal with the boys. The girls could not date until 16 and we have told them to wait until marriage. (although the education came early as I was teaching childbirth class, so there was "material" around all the time) SOOO same for the boys. He agreed and he really has been good so far. We did just get into a discussion (my boys are 12 and 8) because a 14 yo friend showed them some pictures! ack!
hey, can I mention that this is covered quite well in Biology class? Check out lyrical science, it has great study of human body and covers this in great informative way that will not be weird to teach as they get to that class, Whenever your kids take biology , human anatomy is part of it, you can tell them you will do a study on it and if that is cool with them then wait, if not go ahead and get the one I mentioned and go through the lessons its technical and all that, but i would just feild thier questions, sometimes kids want less info than we think they want and we overwhelm them.
