Yep.. but then I draw the line on things like Family Guy and South Park.. which many of Garrett's boyscout friends watch :shock:
Yikes! I sometimes will watch one of those shows when I have my alone time late at night, but I don't let my kids watch those. Actually...one time I did let my kids see Family Guy that was before I knew how adult it was. I turned it off right away when I realized it though.
I let mine watch a lot of stuff, but I also draw the line at those. Also any movie like American Pie or such, too much sexual content. (even though ds's father lets him watch that stuff) I would rather he watched a horror movie.LOL
I take both into account. You can trust our child but still not trust the environmet...and vice versa. I allow my kids to do many things some may consider dangerous. I allow them to climb trees, play all kinds of sports, shoot bows and arrows, play in the street (hee hee...of course they move when a car comes), junk like that. I have allowed my dd to cut veggies, fruit, and meat with knives for that night's meal. I have allowed both my kids (11 and 9) to use the stove. Both my kids have at least 2 meals they can make on their own for dinner for the family. My dd helped me fix the downspout on the roof. I think the kids who get hurt the most are the kids are never do anythng...lol..seriously though it seems like it. I'd have to agree with your neighbor that you are nuts...with all due love and respect. :love: As far as allowing my children to go places alone...nope...not alone. They are allowed to go to the park with the neighbor kids and to the ice cream place with other kids or with each other. A young child alone is at greater risk then a bunch or kids or even an adult. I realize all is in God's hands but He did provide us with a sense to use caution. So, this is our point of departure. I get your point. You want your kids to experience life but not be paraniod or afraid. However, for me I also want to instill a sense that some things are just too dangerous. I may be misinterpreting but I think you are a bit more free than myself. You seem to have the opinion that if it's going to happen it's going to happen whether you are sleeping or jumping off a cliff. To a great extent you are right. However, I worry about more than death. That is if I get your point, I may not. I worry more about people than activities. lol. I tend to protect from the potential kidnapper or child molestor than a football injury. I'm all for my son playing football but to spend alone time with coach is another story. LOL.
I didn't read all the posts but just saw a discussion about tv and music. I am very strict on tv and music. I am not so strict on literature. I will NOT allow my children to see things like Family Guy or South Park or anything resembling it in the least. Because I believe music was created to worship God, I will not allow music I feel twists that in my home. I do not allow tv that goes against our beliefs as well. Yet, I am sure some things are up for debate. I have no objection to iCarly...some may. I do have an objection to Miley Cyrus though. I won't bore you all with the whys. lol. I am free with literature, history shows and historical fiction. One...if something is touchy in a book it can only be manifested in the mind as a child understands it. If an image is given like on tv than it is more like an invasion than a point of discussion. Two, tv shows offer no real value. I am not against showing my kids the evil in the world or the bad things that took place in history. I just don't want them viewing it for entertainment purposes.
I can't handle Family Guy, but hubby has gotten me watching South Park from time to time.. and I admit some of them make me laugh so hard I about pee... and some make me a but sick to my stomach..lol I would never allow things like American Pie.. my oh my some parts of those movies make me blush Now music... we are big music people here. We listen to mostly country, but Garrett has some other music as do both hubby and I... we have rock and rap and who knows what for the times we are in those moods. I love to find songs that "hit home" for me and my family.. where I am and where I came from... in fact right now I'm listening to Darryl Worley's Sounds Like Life to Me... great REAL song.
okay this is longer than I thought so I ma just giong to post now and read the rest later I don't think I have ever considered climbling trees dangerous but adventurouse. I think in my neighborhood I am okay with sending the kids to the park now that they are all over ten. IN my area child abductions below that age are commong> At the age of 7 for instance I made my kids hold my hand from car to store and not leave my sight in the store. HIghest age of abductions. I do not teach them to live in fear, though I have personal reasons that I could have told them why its important not to be alone. I try to use the budy system but have allowed them solo trips around the block on occasion. Now when we are camping or on vacation in the country or beach, I let them run free. We play in the rivers, ocean etc, I did make sure my ds got swim lessons when he started jumping off the high dive without permission, but that was in town. As a child we always went hog wild with climbing things, so I allow my kids to climb whateer they want, they love rock climbing, but our rocks have not been too big so dont get any ideas there. we love to go hiking and you just cant bee as cautious when you are adventuring and over all I want my kids to be free to roam when in the country. We live in the city though, so even that is limited. If yo go too many blocks you hit drug infested homes, homeless people begging for money and kids just dont have skills to deal with that. So wisdom is what I try to teach them. where is it okay where is it not?
If there is such a thing as "unparenting" I think I am one of those. My kids have no bedtime, no TV restrictions, and no game restrictions (well ALMOST no game restrictions -I did forbid State of Emergency and Grand Theft). I really don't care what they listen to, read, watch, or play with. They are good smart sensible kids who have been making their own decisions for most of their lives. Funny, they do put themselves to bed, turn off the sacrey stuff when it becomes too much, and have good values despite South Park...(South Park is funny...every once in awhile!) I'm telling ya, if I had more kids I would totally morph into an unschooler by the time it was all over. Edit to add - yes my son owns his own shotgun but I do keep a lock on it and we have all taken hunter safety.
I have no problems with guns either. I do have bedtimes and restrictions. The bedtime thing is for my own sanity..lol. Also, I hate when they sleep in. The tv and music restrictions are due to our faith. But that's NOT to say that my kids will be holier or more morally sound than anyone else's children. We just have set a bar that's all. I feel it's important. We all parent according to our own style. However, whatever the style a strong sense of morals and family will shine through.
I was pretty protective of my daughter as it related to my dating when I was single...I did not introduce her to men at all until she was about 6...I lived with my folks for 3 years before that so there was that buffer (and babysitters) When we moved here, and before I met my husband I just didn't involve her in my dating. I didn't allow any sort of relationship to develop between her and any man I was seeing. I made exceptions with my dh...he also had a child and we would all do things together...that was a definite departure and i am not sure I would recomend it...although now, 14 years later it seems to have worked out ok. I did discuss uncomfortable situations with the kids...ongoing process. all the kids have walked to and from middle school. (ds goes there for band) Who do you accept a ride from...Mario, the assistant pastor at church...ok...Jimmy the guy who plays the drums on sunday, mmmm no. Barry, dads friend? Well, maybe...how do you feel about it? (both girls said "NO") ok, lets go with that. oldest dd came home from the park one day because a group of older kids had come and they "made her nervous" good call. (as far as going to the park alone, well once she got there...bunch of kids...same group that came blowing into my house when school was out and grabbed snacks and then blew out again...when my dh first met me he thought I had 6 kids!) I censor for sexual content in tv before I censor for violence. (although the latter is more an issue with the boys than it was with the girls) but we are not big movie watchers. Music has not yet become an issue. (never was with the girls) we wear helmets on the 4 wheelers...and when skiing. They don't ride the 4 wheelers alone at all. but they are little guys and the 4wheelers are big. ds ran over me once after I fell off under the dang thing while he was driving. (long story...my own dumb fault) so he is pretty respectful of thier power. (he did a very good job with the crisis and I was proud of him)
We live in the 4th biggest city in the US, and there aren't any parks nearby, and our girls are only 7 & 5, so we're pretty protective. They can go in the front yard without us as long as they ask first. We stay near a window at the front of the house and keep an eye on them. They can go in the backyard by themselves any time. When we go to our favorite park, they can go to the other side without me... I just need to be able to see them. I can't think of the last time we watched something on tv that wasn't a kids' show (mostly PBS or Qubo) or sports... We just don't watch it that much. We're very careful about what movies they watch. Images are very powerful things, and our older daughter especially gets scared easily. (Actually, I have to be careful about what movies I watch or I'll have nightmares for months. Ugh)
I hear you on wishing for some country land. We looked at some 5-10 acre properties when we moved a couple years ago and I would have loved it. But my DH is a workaholic (he's a salery possition so the work needs done no matter how long it takes) and we decided that being near his work was more important to us right now so we live in town. That way it takes him 5 minutes to get home instead of 30 or more if we lived farther out. We have a 4 season climate, but winter is the longest of the 4, LOL. It is finally spring. My tulips are blooming and my apple tree will be next week. Lilacs will be a couple more weeks from the looks of things. Housing costs are pretty good. You can find something in just about any budget. That does vary quite a bit from town to town.
Our protective nature is age appropriate. We are protective and our kids know we love them. We give them space to grow and mature and make decisions, but again, age appropriate. One time we let our boys ride their bikes up on a bike trail that has some dangerous spots which we made clear those were off limits. My oldest ds went down a steep hill, he said he knew he wasnt going to make it, wrecked, bent up the bike and himself. His brother helped him home with his face covered in blood, I freaked! Of course the first time we let our kids try it, my ds gets hurt. Nobody else, just my ds. Ds was in a sling for about a week until the drs could decide whether or not he broke his arm. He got quite messed up but recovered from it. I think it hurt me more to see him hurt than he felt like he had been hurt. The scars on his face healed nicely and totally undetectible.
LOL....my dss have never broke a bone or needed stitches, so I guess that probably means that we are overprotective. One of the reasons is I was always one of those kids that left after breakfast and didn't come home until dinner (maybe not until dark). If my mom only knew some of the things that I did.........:shock:. I know, I know...I'm still alive, but, it's a miracle that I am. Anther reason is although we live in a somewhat nice neighborhood, the traffic is very busy. For some dumb reason, they built the park right beside where it is the most busiest . It's been really hard for me, but I've been trying little by little to let my 12 and 14 year olds do more "boy" things. Funny thing is.....my dh is more protective than I am. Go figure~! As for music...we love all music (except gangsta rap). We do listen to it first, but we don't nix too many of them. We do not allow any rated R and some PG-13 movies (nothing supernatural, no nudity, extreme violence, or the "F" word). We censor all TV shows. I don't even watch South Park or Family Guy! Michelle
I am probably the most overprotective parent you will ever meet. LOL. It's hard to be that way. And I'm working on it. My oldest does do gymnastics (which is 1 of the 2 most dangerous non-extreme sports - for children according to a recent pole). The things she does on a beam frighten me, I can't watch!!!! LOL I'm praying about it. I don't want to be so overprotective that my children are afraid. I don't want to be so permissive that my children are harmed. Where is the balance? I find it's different for each family. For each child. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Amen to that! That is the question - where is the line - wach child is different and times change as well.
You can drive yourself nuts protecting your kids but they still can get hurt. My ds' were the ONLY kids in town that wore bike helmets. Of course they were called names but they didnt care, they told a couple kids, "At least my parents care about me". Anyway, ds' were riding their bikes, oldest ds slammed on his brakes to pick up something in the road, youngest ds' slammed into the back of his brother and wrecked his new speedometer and bruised his leg. The wreck that my oldest ds had before that was very serious and the dr. said the bike helmet saved him from serious head injuries.
I would say define dangerous. I would likely let them climb to the roof, but not go to the park by themselves. If they have the desire to climb to the roof, chances are, they know what they are physically capable of and can reasonably try. But, going to the park alone brings on dangers that has nothing to do with their limits. I also let my children climb trees. To swim in a river, it would have to depend on the river. I do not like swimming in outdoor places because I grew up doing it and it was so dirty. I live more in to the city now and it is always pools. I am not sure where I would find a river here. But, I did take them out to a lake last summer several times. But I make the ones who are not good swimmers wear life jackets. I also had the younger ones wearing life jackets at the ocean last month because the waves were super strong and they were having fun standing in them and getting knocked over over and again.
Well, my son has broken a bone. I was about four feet from him and he ran across our snowy yard hit the icy driveway and fell right on his arm and cracked a forearm. So much for being protective. I saw it coming and hollered but I was out of reach and couldn't catch him. I'm probably in the middle of the road on this one. I want my children to live life not sit in a padded room dreaming. I allow them to play outside without me and climb trees and hike up fairly steep mountains, and the toddlers climb on the jungle gyms where other mothers are pulling their preschoolers off. I'm more cautious about the whole stranger thing though and would never let them do things like pull a sled with a snowmobile or crazy stuff like that.
I have to say I think Ava Summed it up well for me. I am more worried about people than anything else. If you can check to see how many s**ual offenders live around or near you, you may be shocked. We live in the country and have quite a few within 15 to 20 miles. I feel that until a certain age I (well my dh and I) are responsible for our daughter. I know that unforseen things can and do happen, but if I let her walk to the park alone knowing there is a chance she can get snatched and she does I see that as part my fault. We do not live in the same world we did 10, 20, or 30 years ago. I think too many people have a "It will never happen to me" attitude. After all when you hear someone on the news talking about there missing son or daughter you never hear, "I knew this would happen."
