The point is, though, that in 1999, homeschooled girls outnumbered homeschooled boys 51% to 49%. By 2007, that had changed to 58% to 42%. In other words, this is a recent trend and not related to the ratio of girls to boys in the general population.
It is because we now live in a society where we don't make kids "suck it up", not saying child who is getting harrassed should just accept it but the way we as a society view these situations has changed
Here are some websites/video clips of the girl on girl violence in schools. There is no way I would send any of my kids into an environment like this, boy or girl. My son often compares schools to prisons (he is 12) and I think that is quite apt. http://www.guzer.com/videos/high_school_girls_fight.php http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/05/20/national/main554773.shtml
The reasons that Gwenny stated in her posts are the exact reasons why NONE of my children will be attending public school. Oh and we have more boys than girls in my family.
I dont' agree with this at all! I don't think anyone should have to just suck it up, and I feel sorry for those who feel like they need to "keep their mouths shut and just take it". I think it takes a much stronger person to stand up for themselves than it does for some one to just sit there and feel like crap inside.
I didn't start out homeschooling due to the "mean girl" thing since I began homeschooling from Kindergarden. However, I keep my dd out of school because of it. I wish I was only being paranoid and blowing it out of proportion. My dd is not the kind of girl to get intimadated or picked on. She has a bit of an aggressive quality about her and I perfer it to be funneled into assertiveness and strong conviction and not encouraged into a mean girl. No, I don't think my dd would be that kind of girl but she learn to be that tough to survive. Here's a story of mean girlness from my block! Down the street from me is a woman who watches her grandchildren often in the summer. One of them has been around for years and is a "friend" (friendly only from the neighborhood kind of friend) of my dd. The other has just started coming around. Well, the other girl is about my dd's age...around 12. This girl never said a word to my dd and my dd never spoke to her, however that did not stop this girl from wanting to beat my dd up. In fact, she had a boy call my dd down the street while she hid behind a car, so when my dd rode up she could knock her off her bike and beat her up. Thankfully, a boy from the neighborhood saw what was going on and told my dd not to go down there. Then a few boys went down there and told this girl to leave my dd alone. Nothing has happened since, thankfully. My dd did NOTHING to provoke that. The girls NEVER spoke. The other girl..my dd's kinda friendly with...she was just expelled from junior high for fighting. So, I guess you don't have to go to school for something to happen. However, I am not taking chances and throwing my dd to the wolves. My dd was not afraid and still rode her bike around even with that girl around. She also would never backdown from a fight. So..I think I am better off keeping this girl at home..lol. In fact, the only reason ever given for why this girl wanted to fight my dd was because she thought my dd would give her a good fight. She saw my dd was not easily intimadated and pretty confident. Now again, that is not my main reason but it does add to the mix. I also have a son. The only reason I would ever send him to school is because we are just getting out of a bad financial situation...during that time I was unable to provide him with outlets like sports. I considered sending him to school to play sports and have more male companionship. I only have one boy and until this year there were no boys on the block. As we get back on track, I see no reason to send him to school. Although I do fear a bit when it comes to school because my son is VERY passive. He is likable but shy and quiet. I worried if he were challenged he would not be able to handle it. However, he was pushed twice and came out on top. Again, these are all secondary concerns for me. My kids have been around tough kids and surivived..even made friends. My main concern is their education. If I had to guess I would think more girls are homeschooled because of protection. Also, raising a boy is not for the faint of heart. lol. A girl presents her own problems....but those are problems women understand and deal with. Also, most moms find educating a quiet girl who sits alot easier then an antsy loud boy who wants nothing more than to play all day. Alot of boys need to move...need structure..need someone on them all the time...that is not always the ideal for what homeschooling is in the minds of some moms. Now...there are always exceptions so don't come down on me. I am speaking in general terms...and offering only an idea. I have two exceptions in my own house as far as having an aggressive girl and passive boy..lol. I also have a boy who is an easy auditory learner and very obedient by nature. My girl is the one who gets bored easily and needs to move around. My son never stops moving but he learns so easily and has that love of learning because I love to interact with you spirit. I am just thinking outloud with my other generalizations.
I think you are both right and wrong. For your basic school antics I think you are right, more kids need to stop worrying about getting their feelings hurt and learn how to handle adversity. However, for an extreme case, I think kids should not have to "suck it up." Yet, you sound as if you are speaking in general and not about kids who suffer harrassment. I do think we all need to be careful though. As kids grow they are forming who they are...if they are getting picked on or whatever it will stay with them forever not just until they graduate.
So why can't we enable our kids so they can at least try to handle these bullies? Jeannie has run into bullies and I try to give her things to say or do to stop them. If that doesn't work- and sometimes it doesn't- I get the teacher involved. I nearly tried to get a kid thrown out of the Y once, and I'd have pushed like hell for that if the kid hadn't quit the bullying behaviors.
Of course you can enable a child to deal with bullies. I do agree that we need to equip our children to deal with adversity. My dd was threatened and due to how she handled it and how others came to her defense it didn't happen again. As I said, she isn't in school and a girl down the street wanted to beat her up...so homeschooled or not we need to equip our children properly, good point, Becky.
True to an extent but I also think the amount of and types of abuse have changed. I don't think children a few decades ago were quite as hardened or exposed to as much violence especially of a sexual nature as they are now. Now you have to worry about your child being raped (sometimes by the same gender), molested, and beat to the point of being hospitalized not just a punch in the nose because they don't hand over their lunch money. Which brings me to another point. Sexual Harassment may have something to do with it also. I know someone who has really started looking into homeschooling because his daughter is being harassed on the bus.
Excellent points! Geesh..I find myself waffling a bit. I suppose telling a child to toughen up would depend on what type of abuse we are talking about. Another thing I think about is that once it happens it happens..there is no turning back. If my child gets molested or seriously hurt because I underestimate the threat there is no going back.
Personally, we were going to hs for the middle school years since the drama was already happening during my dd's 6th grade year. It was awful, she felt like she was in the middle of fights with her friends and she never knew how to get them to all stop and just be friends again. She will be a freshman next year and I gave her the choice to hs or go to ps, she chose hs since she felt more relaxed and she didn't want to deal with the crud that goes with ps. Our charter school offers dances, sports and classes so she'll still have that kind of environment if she chooses it. Oh, and I have two hs girls.
Teaching a child to deal with a problem and teaching them to "suck it up" are in two different categories. Dealing with a problem in an appropriate fashion teaches inner strength and shows the bully that he/she does not have the power over us. Teaching a child to suck it up only teaches them to put up with a problem and never take action. One is positive and one is negative. One boosts our confidence while one makes us more of a carpet to be walked on.
Very nice! My dd is going into 6th grade and the drama with girls at that age is nutty. Even my dd thinks its nutty. That's one reason to homeschool...my dd sees the junk for junk.
Does the study show more boys go to public school than girls? Maybe it's a population thing. Maybe there are more school aged girls in the US right now than boys. I think you have to take statistics with a grain of salt. Who came up with the numbers and how are sure they are accurate? Please excuse me if I sound forward, but I noticed in your introduction post that you want to promote your homeschooling business. By any chance do all of these posts have something to do with your company? Or do these statistics honestly interest you?
You are correct. The statistics we are speaking of speak of homeschooled students. They are not speaking about the general population. Once again we have to take into consideration that some states do not require parents to report to officials. So obviously they wouldn’t be listed and we have no idea how many homeschool students reside in these states. California has an average of 200,000 homeschool students. Assuming the states that do not require reporting had the same amount of homeschoolers as California, this could greatly tip the scale in one direction or the other. Since we do not know how many of these homeschoolers are boys and how many are girls, it is too large of a piece of the puzzle to exclude from these statistics. As to why more girls are reported as homeschoolers than boys, we can only speak for ourselves. The rest is pure speculation.
Speaking as one who sucked it up for years in junior and senior high all I can say is good. I still think there are a lot of people who just don't get how painful and damaging bullying is or how it sets you up to lose faith in all those around you when no one, absolutely no one, steps in to protect you. Regardless, how society views the situations and what they actually do are two different things. I tend to think that although schools have their anti-bullying programs and like to talk about keeping students safe it really doesn't amount to much. It just for appearance and really, people still expect kids to just suck it up.
I have very little experience with this as my children have never attended P.S. but from listening to other parents I would have to say this is probably pretty accurate. They say they have a no tolerance policy but it seldom amounts to much. It's just for looks. They often just don't want to deal with a problem child. What is interesting is that kids have to play by a different set of rules. If I went to the police because someone was harassing or threatening me I just can't picture them saying "Suck it up" or "deal with it yourself". I could get a restraining order. If nothing else (in my state at least) I'd be allowed to protect myself with a gun if necessary. I personally don't carry a gun for protection but the point is telling a child to suck it up is nothing like what they have to do as an adult. Of course, most of the time we just ignore annoying people as we meet with many all day long. When I leave the house that is. The good thing about homeschooling is that my children are around positive and loving relationships enough that when they meet someone who bothers them (yes, it does happen) they are confident to know that whatever the bully is saying isn't true. They aren't a worthless no good wussy or whatever. They know they are loved and they (well the older ones at least) are more then likely to feel sorry for the other child then anything else.
I'm also not sure the way you combined the statistics is valid, at least without a link to the original source.
