is unschooling giving homsechooling a bad name?

I love how you worded this "direct their apprentice's learning." That's exactly the idea of unschooling, children are apprentice's in life. Learning how to make change when they are at the grocery store. Learning to cook because it's time to make dinner. Learning to write because they want to make Christmas cards for their friends.
Encouraging parents to teach their children things didn't mean sitting at a kitchen table with workbooks. Learning details of the law happens in everyday life...If your kids understand what a traffic light is for or why there are speed limit signs for example, they know some concept of law. I would bet most people learn those things in the car with their parents.
My opinion on the posted question is yes. I do think "unschoolers" give homeschooling a bad name. But that is because homeschooling is viewed to many people as a different place of doing school, not a different WAY of learning. Before formal school was introduced I would bet most people would not be able to imagine the way kids are taught now. I bet they learned in more of an "unschooly" way.
I really dislike the term unschool by the way. How can you "un" school if you never schooled in the first place??

 

Danielsmom..that was VERY well stated. In my mind I felt the same way but I didn't know who to explain it. One could very well say Alexander the Great was unschooled or homeschooled..lol. I think an "unschooling" family that does it right has to be very structured and organzied.

 

Ahhh....the great home vs. unschooling debate! As a kid who was raised homeschooled in an unschooling way (back in those days we didn't have this division of definitions) I am all too familiar with how it goes. One un-engaged parent gets the state dept. of education involved, there is a circus of negative media about homescooling, and a shadow is cast on those unschoolers whose kids can't read yet. Bah.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about the differences between these two theories as I delve deeper and deeper into being a homeschooling parent, and here's my 2 cents.

Every kid thrives in a different educational circumstances. Every kid learns in a slightly different way. My brother (now an engineer, karate black-belt, and scuba instructor) didn't read until 8 or so. Everyone was freaking out, except my mom. She let him do his thing (important point: she was VERY engaged in all the many aspects of our education and knew that he was learning lots of other stuff in the meantime). What did this boy do? When he was ready, he read Jurassic Park...cover to cover in less than a week, shortly before his 9th birthday. So that's him. He does things his own way.

In general, my experience taught me that some structure is good, and even necessary, in this culture of ours. Eventually we have college classes or jobs that don't let us follow our own whimisical path. I would have benefited from some structure (in-flexible deadlines and goals, consequences for not meeting deadlines), as well as from learning the ability to do something that I have to do (like math) because I have to do it. That is something I had little experience with until I went to college.

As homeschooling parents we have the ability and the responsibiility to find out how our children learn best, and support them though that journey. Maybe one learns best with a schedule and the other learns best with lots of flexibility and on his/her own time frame. So then we need to provide structure for the first along with lots of opportunities to be flexible and go with the flow...the second needs more temporal flexibility and opportunities to learn how to learn in a structured setting. That's what we do, and as far as I can tell it is that ability to tailor our childrens' education to their strengths and needs that is why so many of us homeschool.

But back to the basics - this whole thing has a lot more to do with how engaged a parent is (homeschooling OR unschooling) with their child's education than it has to do with titles, names, definitions, or phrases.

 

I understand what you're saying about unschoolers giving homeschoolers a bad name. However, I think it stems from the ignorance of others. If people don't fully understand or agree with something, they automatically make it out to be some horrible thing. People generalize anyone who have something in common. That's why there's racism & prejudice in the world. If someone meets one homeschooler who is strange, they assume the child is strange because they homeschool. Therefore, all homeschoolers must be strange. If they meet one homeschooler who is behind academically, it must be because they're homeshooled, and all homeschoolers must be behind. They stereotype us the same way people have stereotyped entire races, religions, and cultures throughout all of history. So, yes, some people will think badly about homeschoolers because they met one unschooler who wasn't where they 'shoud' be academically (even if the child has special needs & that's why they're 'behind'). However, those people would most likely judge us no matter what. So, there really isn't anything we can do about it.
As for the 10 y.o. you described, it could be many things. He may be dyslexic. He may simply hate reading & so refuses to do it. Whatever the reason, it's most likely not due to the fact that he is unschooled.
I could never bring myself to unschool completely. My ds was unschooled partially until this year (he started Kindergarten last month). Last year we worked on phonics/reading, and a little on Math. Other than that, we learned what he wanted to learn (mostly dinos). The reason I could never unschool is that I want to make sure my kids learn the things they NEED to know. I can't gaurantee that they would do that without it being required. So, I won't take the chance. I firmly believe that, if it was left up to my dd, she would completely avoid anything that involved using Math. Even though it's a subject in which she excels, she completely despises it. She would avoid it at all costs, if I didn't require that she do it.
Unschooling can be successful, especially if the child is intrinsicly motivated, attentive, and has never had their desire to learn crushed by ps. However, I don't believe that unschooling is possible for everyone. I think, in some cases, the child would be lacking in very important, basic areas. However, the same can be said about any method of homeschooling, public school, and private school.

 

I think you have confused unschooling and unparenting.

I DO feel that unschooling works.. I have seen it work with my own children.

I think if you don't know much about a subject, you shouldn't go bashing it. Obviously you are not seeing the whole picture, which isn't just black and white.

 

Didn't mean to come across as bashing anything or anyone - sorry. It's been a topic of discussion among some friends, so I thought I'd find out the views of parents on the front line. I've found the responses in this thread to be very informative and helpful.

 

I agree. I wouldn't say that unschooling necessarily produces late readers. I didn't go to preschool or kindergarten, but was reading simple words by age 3, and reading at a 5th grade level when I started first grade. My teacher actually used me as a "tutor" to help the slower reading groups. I learned how to read solely from absorbing words from my environment and being read to, things that are usually in abundance in an unschooler's life.

My oldest son hated having reading forced on him when he was in school...it took years to undo that pressure. Since my second has been HS'd since kindergarten, I've taken a more laid-back approach with him. Sure, if he were evaluated, "they" would say he's behind where a rising 2nd grader should be reading-wise. But he still loves books, and we're moving at HIS pace. I'm OK with that.

Total unschooling isn't really for us...we need the structure of certain subjects...but we are taking a more relaxed, child-led approach to science and history this year. I'm letting each boy study what they're interested in instead of using texts and workbooks. We tried that for a while when DS1 first started HSing and it was such fun...and he still remembers things he learned then.

 

Are we forgetting about kids in school who have difficulty reading or do not read until an older age? This idea of reading at a so-called late age is not confined to unschoolers.

 

That's it- blame it on the mom!:lol:

 

I think we are forgetting that there are alot of PS kids that fall far behind where they should be.

My DH was taught to read in Kindergarten and 1st grade and because his school district was teaching using a new method (not phonics) he had the hardest time learning to read. He still struggles today. He can read and I think he reads just fine, but he says it is so hard he would rather have his teeth pulled without novicane.

My mom taught me to read when I was 4 because I was ready.

My oldest DS was in 2nd grade this year and he tested at a 3rd grade level. He didn't learn to read until he was nearly 7 1/2. My oldest DD is nearly 7 and she still can't read. I have tried teaching her and she just isn't ready so I don't push her. My younger 2 (5yo and 4yo) seem very ready to read so we are going to start working on reading in a few weeks. Every child is different and learns at their own pace. I worried when my son didn't read at the "normal" age everyone thought he should be reading at, but I learned that what PS thinks is normal is not always normal.

 

YEP! I doubt those "late" readers in schools never do become good readers, because they're pushed way before they're ready. Instead, they develop really poor self-esteem and are convinced they "can't" because they're just plain STUPID. Which is too bad, because if people would just back off, they'd learn to read when they were ready without destroying their self-esteem.

 

That's what they do. If you ever watched "Horton Hears a Who" you know what I mean. That wonderful homeschooling Kangaroo gives you a clue on what many think of homeschoolers.

I also find it interesting that Dad's seem almost non-existent when people complain about parenting in general. I don't know why. Oh there are certain instances I suppose but in general it seems the mother is the one who can do nothing right whether it's going back to work or staying home or homeschooling or disciplining.

 

I taught my 14 year old nephew to read after he had attended Public School for 6 years. He had also been homeschooled by his parents for a few years with no luck. I think he needed someone who believed in him and didn't really care what the Public Schools had already "tried". He had already been told that he would "never learn to read that he just wasn't capable". Of course, when they put him back in school a few years later it was all the fault of the parents for trying to homeschool that he was so far behind. They did not realize or care to hear that he had done a lot of catching up while he was away from their beloved system.

 

I really like Ava Rose's comparison of the apples.

Anyways, one 10 year old does not represent the whole unschooling population. Where an unschooler is academically, at any given age and this applies to homeschoolers or government schooled students, shouldn't be as important as where they are when they graduate. As long as the get there.

As I said in my first post, unschoolers are attending universities because they are able to keep up and know the same or more than some public school students. A few years ago I read a great article about an unschooled girl who was accepted into Stanford University. Although her education was what some people might consider unconventional, she clearly was ready when the time came to go to a college. Perhaps this young lady was one of those who did not read at 10 or maybe she did. I do not know! All I know is I can't come against unschooling when it clearly works when parents are dedicated.
I really like what one poster said about there being a difference between unschooling and unparenting. This is right on target!

 

I have a question..did perhaps that child in sunday school have a learning disability? Oh, and how about maybe he wasn't comfortable reading in front of peers?

My oldest dd who is 14 is dyslexic and she still stumbles over words and sometimes doesn't make sense, it doesn't mean she's not learning. We don't unschool per say, but we do go at our own pace and if a material isn't working we get something else. I'm not about to drive myself nuts with something that my kids don't find interesting because it sounds good to me.

 

I do not have any experience with unschooling so I do not claim to be an expert. The only experience I have is a family here in town, they unschooled their girls. These girls were very polite, well spoken and seemed to be smart.

I just saw one of the girls the other day and she is in college and doing very well. She must have learned something to be doing well in all of her subjects! Anyway, I remember when they were unschooling people would make comments but I never had anything to do with them other than an occasional hi. She said when she started college people were talking about homeschooling and then finally admitted to unschooling. They asked what she did all day and she said her reply was, "Nothing"! I asked her how they learned to read and she said by her dad reading to them. I don't know how anyone can learn without opening up a book, but these two girls seem quite intelligent.

That is my only knowledge and experience with unschoolers. My perception and observations is all I can share.

Just so you know, my spell check has the word, unschooled.

My cousin who quit school in 7th grade, public school, is not able to read or write.

 

There are a lot of people who don't agree with just homeschooling. That doesn't mean everyone who homeschools uses the same method, I would say this would be the case for unschooling. I think people have different views on it.

I think the point here is to focus on what works for you and not what others choose to do. If you don't agree with unschooling-then don't unschool. I don't agree with public schooling-but I am not going to criticize someone who lets their child choose to go to public school.

I am new to this site-but I would hope it's one that builds up homeschooling and isn't negative and looking at tearing other homeschoolers down.

 

I hope you are not insinuating that I was bashing unschoolers since you posted right after my post!

 

I had not read your post. My entry was to the original post.

 

That is good, all kewl!