This stemmed from the post on the lady who allowed her kids to go to the mall unattended and got arrested for it. The article was on the blog below. It also gives you an idea of what Free Range Kids and Free Range Parenting is about. http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/ What do you all think of this? How free range are you? Do you think our children face bigger threats or we are just paranoid? I have my own opinions on the matter but my almost 1 year old will not allow me to type anymore! LOL.
You know, i believe there is a good balance in my dc. They have some freedoms, they are allowed to go outside without me, and have certain boundries, but when the fields are out, they are allowed to roam in the fields as well, but they have to be able to see our front porch. I am much better at giving freedoms, they are 8 and 7, and i try to give them freedom. But that said, we live about 300 yards off the highway, so there are certain rules, for safety that i expect them to follow. I believe that my kids have just the right amt of freedoms, and i know that i will have to put them in Gods hands and know that he is in control. But that is scarey for me! For instance, when my kids are outside playing and it has been about 15 min and i havent heard anyone, i will go out and check on them, and on occassion, i cant hear or find them for a minute, and my heart races and pounds,and i have to hold back tears, from the worry that someone might have pulled in quietly and grabbed them. But they are usually behind the machine shed pretending or in the machine shed playing star wars or something. I guess, im on the fence for my answer. I want them to have freedom to learn, but i dont want them to be a statistic, i would never forgive myself if something happened. but keep in mind i come from a very cautious and controlling father, who used to make us wear pant when we rode our bikes, even in the 100 degrees! bc we might fall and hurt our legs, lol.
I don't really get it. Why do people have to give EVERYTHING a label? So are you a "free range parent" if you let your kid wander aimlessly for awhile without you following them, or does it mean you're willing to drop them off at the local amusement park for the day alone? I think most of us make decisions on the maturity of our child, not just how old they are or what people think we're supposed to do. My son is 7, and I'm not up his butt all the time, but he's proven himself and I trust him with many things. That said, I still don't understand the whole idea here.
This would be fine if we still lived in the days of "Leave it to Beaver". It really frustrates me that I cannot allow my children to have the freedom I had at their age. But it's a different world. And in MY family, it's not going to happen!!! (I'm also amused that, while wanting greater freedom, they also want to keep them "safe" by stating they believe in car seats, bike helmets, and seat belts. I personally don't believe in ANY of those any more than is realistic. Example: I believe I should be able to nurse a baby while traveling in a car. I also believe there's nothing wrong with crowding an "extra" kid in the back seat, or having a bunch in the back of the van with the seats down.)
ok, i dont know if i agree with the govt telling me i have to wear a seat belt or my child has to be in a booster, but if it were not he law, evidence has proven the worth of these safety devices and i would def use them every time i was in a car. jmo, but i have seen children who were thrown from the car going 45, and it is not a pretty picture!
I agree about the labeling. The labeling was the first thing that struck me. I guess they didn't like being called neglectful. LOL. Okay, that was a bit unfair..just kidding. Anyway, I think I am balanced in many ways and I also echo what Jackie said.
I saw this book reviewed on a homeschool blog I read. I'd like to read this book myself. I think I'd enjoy reading it.
It reminds me of eggs and chickens. But besides that, I let my kids who are 14 and 12 and we live in a small town ride their bikes (because they train every single day) out and about. But they have a cell phone with them and they check in every 30 minutes. So, I feel comfortable with that. They occasionally walk to the store and by small town we have one grocery store and the town literally closes up by 7 every night. What I don't understand is why they have to label it it's silly.
I heard awhile back on the radio about a mom in NYC who let her 10 yo son leave the mall and get home by himself. There was some serious outrage about it, but there were also others who applauded her. I wouldn't do that if I lived in NYC, or even in the town I currently live in. Maybe if I lived in a small rural community. I let my kids play outside either in the front yard or the back without me watching their every move. We live at the end of a long dead end street and we know the neighbors really well. I am not too worried. My kids know where the boundries are and where they are not allowed to go. Sometimes I find them where they are no supposed to be, but usually they are just playing and climbing the trees out front. I also ditto Jackie. I know booster seats and seat belts and bike helmets prevent deaths each year, but I would like to be able to choose whether I wear them or use them. It's ridiculous that by not wearing your seat belt or bike helmet it makes you a criminal. I have nursed my baby while riding in the car, and I don't always make my 6 year old ride in her booster seat (she is tall and weighs more than her brother who is 9.) My kids don't always wear bike helmets while riding on our street. Sometimes I get flack from the neighbors about the helmets and I wonder if they think I am a crazy homeschooling mom with no rules for my kids.
I allowed Rachael to ride her bike to baseball the other week when the younger two were at camp. It's a good ways away, but there's a bike path along the road part of the way, and she could take back roads the rest. She had her cell phone on her, and was to call when she arrived. My mom had a fit, lol!!! "You just don't know what kind of crazies are out in the world now! They actually will try to run bikers off the road, and try to hit them!!!" But Rachael arrived safely, and enjoyed it, and wants to do it again sometime!
I totally agree that it depends on where you live as to how free you can allow your children to be. Here there is no way Sam who is 13 will even be allowed to ride her bike off our street. However in the town my parents live in I would let her ride it just about anywhere. I used to walk everywhere in that town and the town is the same today as it was then. This weekend I was visiting my parents and my mom told me the story of the first vacation they took me on. It was to Biloxi Mississippi and I was 6 months old. My dad and 11 year old brother sat up front and my mom sat in back with me. She said she used a small old suitcase and blakents to make a space on the seat for me to lay and I had fun rolling around in it. Man if you did that today you'd be called neglectfull. When Sam was 16 months we went to Colorado and my parents kept telling me to let her out of the car seat for a while and let her stretch. I thought they were crazy! But now not so much. I survived not having a car seat.
I also agree is depends on where you live and what type of child you have. My dd is very responsible, so I allow her freedom in many areas. However, I don't limit my children based on fear anyway. I try to be cautious...keeping in mind common sense and guided by biblical standards as far as what to watch, listen to and how to dress. I try to parent out of purpose and not fear. Parenting ranges in degrees of being strict to being lax depending on many variables. The idea of labeling every style of parenting is to sell books or so some can stand on soapboxes. Yes, I brought up the topic..lol..but I was curious how others felt...as far as a label for it and how one determines how strict to be and when to draw the line. The Free Range thing spoke to abductions and said the media made a big deal out of them to the point they wanted to scare and shock people. Do you think their are more kidnappings today as in days past..like your own childhood or that they are just on tv more? Do the reports of kidnapping cause you to keep your kid indoors more? For instance, I live kinda near where Nevaeh was kidnapped and killed. The parent next door promptly stopped allowing her dd to go to the ice cream place with the other kids due to that. She also stopped allowing her to go around the block. Personally, I didn't change my rules. My kids still rode bikes and went to the park and the ice cream place with a group of kids. After a short while this same parent started to allow her dd the same freedom she had before.
my girls have to stay with us till they are 82 then they go on there first date. Riding bikes no way, I am to young to ride bikes so if I can't ride bikes they can't go... Maybe when they are 82 I will break the leash.. not for sure on that one yet.
I'm a bit cautious, because around the corner are apartment buildings with registered sex offenders. We've received reports of about 4 or 5 that live in those apartments. And so I am hesitant for my kids to walk around the block on their own. I do let Rachael walk around the block with the dog, or I will let the kids go together, but not all alone.
Where we live...a big major city... I considered each childs maturity as to how far I let them go... My 20 year old didn't get to go that far till she was 12, then I let her go by herself My 14 year old has been able to go further because of cellphones(which she has to have it with her at all times),she was 10 when I let her spread her wings. She has boundaries in which she can go. She is not allowed at the mall,even with friends..this is one rule that I won't waiver on.
If they don't have money to spend, there's no reason for them to be at the mall. I will drop off my daughter at the theater with a friend, but the theater isn't actually IN the mall. She's done that twice. I knew the girl(s) she was with very well, knew which movie they were seeing, and I was there to pick them up when the movie was over, so there was no "hanging around".
I get apprehensive even putting Jeannie's laundry on the clothesline. Perverts are everywhere. I think things are so different today for so many reasons. Like many others, I look back on things I was allowed to do at certain ages and I know I wouldn't let Jeannie do those things now.
I'm still on my analogy of free range chickens with this one. We have 800 chickens..... they free range (locked up at night - free to roam during the day)..... there are also 2 livestock guardian dogs outside with them. Granted here and there chickens will get picked off with the protection - but it's a lot less than if there weren't any dogs out there to watch. So they are free to "be chickens" but still have a watchful eye over them. Same thing I do with my kids - we live on 30 acres.... they can play in the creek. We now have cell phones that at least 1 needs to carry theirs with them (and have it on!) so we can call them back so I do not need to yell. I let them "be kids" as much as possible. In 2 weeks at the 4-H fair they will run, play and NOT hang around mom and dad all the time - but those cell phones will be on and they will have check in times. Last year was the first year we let them run that free and a few problems came up - but nothing serious so it was ok. I think that the average of child related "news" hasn't increased at all - but is about the same - it's just more public now and national. It's no longer just a town issue - a missing child is now an immediate nationwide issue.
Dana, I just got back with Rachael from a Bible Bee Campout. The couple hosting it has an Elephant Ears booth at the Ohio State Fair, and has asked Rachael to help work it. They're wonderful people, with a very sweet daughter Rachael's age, and there's a third girl who is a friend of the family's that would also be helping. The three girls got along SO WELL at the campout, both very nice young ladies. Plus, the parents would be there, too. It's up to Carl, but I think he'll go for it once he talks with the dad. No, it won't be over night at all, and I think she needs a bit of the "free range" on this one. But I, too, will probably insist on her taking the cell phone!!!
It probably depends on the circumstances, but I wouldn't feel comfortable letting a young girl walk by herself to school. We're probably a little overcautious with our children. For sure, we don't allow our 11-year-old daughter to walk anywhere by herself unless we can see her the whole time from a distance. Her 15-year-old brother is allowed out with his friends until about 10pm, but we always know where he is. If he's just wandering around the neighborhood, he must have his cellphone with him. And if he's as much as one minute late getting home, there's a price to pay (he won't be allowed to go out the next time). Even with our 18-year-old and 21-year-old sons, since they still live at home, we like to know where they are. It's OK for them to spend whatever time they want with friends, but we insist they call in from time to time. Honestly, I don't feel this is unduly intrusive. In an age of cellphones, it's not unreasonable for them to call us if plans change. Plus, in an emergency, we'd like to be able to reach them and for them to reach us.
