The word "chore" is a dirty word

Discussion in 'Other Conversation' started by momofafew, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. momofafew

    momofafew New Member

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    I could not get ds5 to do any chores today. I had set up where he and his brother each had to do 1 chore a day trying to develop this habit. Instead, today, DS5 has had it and will not do any chores. Finally, we were outside were ds5 loves to turn on the water from the hose and do whatever. I could see the garden needed to be watered. So I asked ds5 to please go to the hose and turn it on and he could water the flowers. He was going to do it when I said "this can be your chore." He stopped in his tracks and refused to turn on the water!! He says he hates chores and therefore, he cannot turn on the water. I reminded him he loves to turn on the water. He said not anymore now that he knows it is a chore. My dh was laughing at the whole thing. LOL. I told ds5 that it was not really a chore and please turn on the water. To this, ds5 tells me I already said it is a chore so he alread knows it is a chore so he cannot turn it on. In the end I made him turn it on anyway. But I definitely need a new word for chore. Maybe I will move on to job or responsibility or task. Or maybe I will just tell him what to do and not call it anything.
     
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  3. midwestmama

    midwestmama New Member

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    We've never called them chores. We've always stressed that there are things around the house that need doing family, weekly, whathaveyou. Everyone is a participating member and 'helps' out. The more 'help' the faster we get to the fun stuff together, if you refuse to help, you take a nap, get double (whatever suits the age). If you are too 'tired' to work you get the nap regardless of age. :)

    We've done this since ds1 was about 3, it takes some conditioning and time working with them in the beginning, but they eventually just 'get it' and get done. We still have our moments.
     
  4. shelby

    shelby New Member

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    you have to admit that it is pretty funny, what kids will come up with next. Stay creative and he might not know he is doing chores.
     
  5. victorianmom

    victorianmom New Member

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    We use to call them chores,but since we are a family,they are things that need to be done and if one sees something that needs to be done then just do it. I have come home to a shiney clean refrigerator(inside and out),laundry done(folded and put away).
    It is funny what children will come up when they don't wish to do something. It does take time,but well worth the effort.
     
  6. MamaBear

    MamaBear New Member

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    I called chores, doing their good deed for the day, helping mama.
     
  7. KrisRV

    KrisRV New Member

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    Oh that is so funny, sound so cute, How did you not laugh at him. I would of been laughing and laughing the whole time.
    How about how would you like to go play in with the water hose and water the flowers.
    when my girls were little we got the good ole Barney song out.
    Clean up, Clean up everybody do there share and it went on and on and we sang the song the whole time were cleaning until all toys and chores were done. We never called it a chore we called it clean up time.
     
  8. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    You have a bright 5 year old! :D
     
  9. Deena

    Deena New Member

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    I guess I go against the flow because I don't think that's funny at all! Inventive, maybe, but not funny. Talking back to a parent, refusing to do a job set before him.....that's not funny to me!

    As a member of the family, chores are a part of life. Sure, you can create other words, but it's still something that NEEDS to be done because he IS a part of the family! Laughing at him will help him decide that's the right way to act since people thought it was funny. Now it's going to be harder to get him to make the right choice!

    With refusals to do what a parent asks, I would make it a huge point to get his priorities straight. He is not the boss, nor should he be allowed to dictate what he does and doesn't do! You can be creative and give him choices. I'd say, "The laundry needs to be put away, the garden needs to be watered, and the trash needs to be taken out. Which one of those will you be doing today?" That way it seems less like a demand, and gives him some say in the matter. If he says none, and means it, then I'd say, "If you don't choose one, and have it done by suppertime, then I will choose one for you, and it will need to be done before you can eat supper!" Supper will be available, he'll just need to make the choice to get the chore done so he can eat!

    Obviously you can use other motivations, that's just one idea. But, I would not let him go on with this kind of behaviour. What you laugh at now will be a BIG problem when he's older! Help him learn NOW to be part of the family by helping with what needs to be done!
     
  10. wyomom

    wyomom Member

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    I am with Deena on this. I have seen it happen to parents here many times. Something starts out cute and they laugh at it. Then in a few years they are having disipline problems and fits from the same "cute" kiddo.
    The girls have chores or jobs to do and they are expected to do them. We have to remind them some days but they are getting very good at doing them on their own.
    I am also seeing gifts and talents emerging. One is very good at house chores and loves them, the other is good with outside chores. They all have their favorite animals that they like to take care of, so it is working out.
    Our biggest struggle is in the winter when it is blizzard and NOONE wants to go out.
     
  11. hmsclmommyto2

    hmsclmommyto2 New Member

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    I also have to agree with Deena. My kids have chores & they have to do them. If they don't, there are consequences. I have sat the kids down & explained "We are a family & this is our home. Each of us has a esponsibilty to keep our home clean & running properly. I am not a maid. i do not get paid to clean up after you. You are responsible for helping around the house." They learned part of their lesson when we had to throw out multiple things that belonged to them because they left them on the floor & the cat peed on them. We couldn't get the smell out & the stuff had be tossed. We don't have the money right now to replace the stuff, so they have to go without.
    I have to remind the kids (and dh) to do their chores, pretty much on a daily basis. However, I'd rather remind them daily than end up doing it all myself.
    They were all really great this weekend, they let me sleep in (both days) and did extra work around the house. It was such a nice surprise.
     

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