I named the last 2. But there is a story behind that. To make that extremely and pitifully long story, dh changed him mind almost weekly with the first, but in the end, the name was picked by him. And with the 2nd, he kept changing his mind, then we settled on DDs name for 4 months, then he changed his mind, while I was in labor..in the middle of a contraction!! Not kidding. Then he argued with me all through labor. Needless to say, we did not have more children for some time. Then, with the 3rd, we were still arguing when the baby was born early and died. We gave him the name DH had picked. Then, with the 4th and 5th, I named them. Mostly, dh and I could not agree and we had gone to therapy where it came around that dh had control issues and felt like he needed to pick the name by himself as a way of controlling. He admitted that once the babies had the names I had picked, they were fine and he did not care anymore. That therapy was after #2 and before #3. OK..this post is getting long. But I am wrapping up here. DH and I had picked Finley before I got pregnant. Once I found out I was pregnant, Finley no longer sounded right and dh agreed. I started to make a "short list" of names. Nothing settled with DH. During this time, I grew used to Finley..little Finn, Huck Finn..it is sooo cute!! I really could see a little boy who looks like our others named Finley, or Finn, or even Finnegan. And we went to a movie and it had an actor named Ryan in it. So I askeddh if he liked Ryan. He said maybe. Meanwhile, I am starting to see little boys in public that I could just imagine as little Finns, any version of that name. Then a few days ago, dh tells me he has decided he really likes Ryan and now is excited. This is after most of the pregnancy where he has not been excited. Tonight, when we went out to eat, he brought up how excited he is and even referred to the baby as Ryan. Ok..did I mention our first son is named Riley? So we will have a Riley and a Ryan. But, I don't hate the name and am thinking that maybe I should just "give" dh the naming rights? I did throw in if the next is a boy though, we would name him Finnegan or Finley, or Finn. What is the right thing to do? Just swallow this and figure if dh has put up with my name choices, I should put up with his? I love my husband and want to show it.
Sounds like he pretty much controls the naming so why not give you a Finn/Finley/Finnegan? Finley Ryan sounds good. So does Ryan Finnegan. Personally I feel you both should love the name. If you don't then say so. I kind of had the same problem with my DH he didn't like anything I came up with. It wasn't until mid october that he agreed to Sophie. GL
Both need to like it. You will both be hearing it for years hopefully. I like the name Ryan it is my dh's name. I agree maybe you could use both Finley and Ryan in some combination. Just try not to argue about it. I hope you can find a peacefull resolution:angel:
Here's the breakdown in my family: #1: Dh mentioned a name. I rejected it only to suggest the same name months later seriously forgetting he mentioned it..lol. So, we both got what we wanted. lol #2: He wanted Alex. I wanted Max. We threw both out and agreed on a name. #3: My dh named on his own. The middle name we agreed on but I was getting tired of it. The first name, I was iffy on but after awhile just couldn't think of anything else. lol. My dh is never insistent on names he likes but on those he does not. LOL. I can't blame him there. #4: Because he loved the name Alex, I decided to use it. In all honesty, in high school, I loved the name. I just got sick of it. WEll, we found out we were having a girl. So, I tired to use Alex in her name. I tried Alexandria, Alexa...don't like Alexis. Most likely because it's a street name where I live... a very busy well known street..so I always think of it as a street name..lol. In the end, my dh told me after I gave birth to name the baby whatever I wanted. So I did. I gave no thought to his love of the name Alex as I was not convinced I liked the name Alexa anymore. So, we always say that we agreed on the first two and then he named one and I named one. I see nothing wrong you naming your baby Ryan Finnegan. In fact, of all the Finn type names...Ryan sounds awesome preceding it! I also don't think that it's a big deal to have a Riley and a Ryan. You know your dh..is this that big of a deal? My dh was never excited about any pregnancy. lol. However, he loves his children dearly...pregnancy just doesn't do it for him. lol. So, I never considered him getting excited by a name a sign or anything. Maybe you could call your son Finn while your dh calls him Ryan? I know that sounds strange but there is nothing wrong with mommy having a name for her baby. I call my little one Bo Bear or Kare Bear and she still answers to Kara. My Alyssa has been called Alyssa and Roo since birth and she isn't confused. (my kids call Alyssa the nickname Roo) I will say though...and this is ONLY MY OPINON...Ryan Finnegan is a great name. Finnegan Ryan is nice..nothing wrong at all...but the other way just has a ring to it.
I don't want to put a Finn name in the middle because we do plan another child. So, if DH names this one Ryan, then the next one, if he is a boy (and based on our history, he will be) then I will use Finn then. But also, at my age and all the problems I have had, I don't know if there will be another. Or, since I have been praying sooo hard for soooo long, maybe God will give us a girl next. Of course, we would love a boy too, but it would be nice to have both. I have had a very difficult pregnancy and DH has done most of the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc, while I lay around sick or crying or in pain. Just before this pregnancy, I had an ectopic and just before that, a miscarriage, and before that, a miscarriage and before that, a 2nd trimester loss. So it has been a long road and I think he was ready to give up a while ago and kept going for me. So, I feel sort of bad, like I need to do something for him.
This can be a really hard topic. And if you guys are anything like us a month after the baby is born nothing will matter but the baby. My husband named our first son. I didn't like the name but my husband wouldn't budge. I wanted the name Dominic and he wanted Gabriel. My mom and friends convinced me that Gabriel was such a nice name so I agreed to let him name him. With our second we didn't know what we were having. I was more stubborn because Tom named the first one I wanted to name the second one. I put my foot down and said Dominic would be the name if we had a boy but I couldn't pick a name for a girl. We argued a lot about it to the point of when our daughter was born we didn't even have a name picked out. We didn't name our daughter till she was a week old and it was a name my mom liked so much. In my opinion I think we should get to name the kids because we are doing all the hard work. Yes its kind of sexist but I like getting my way On the other hand the hubby is half the baby so. I think this is one of those things that each couple deals with in their own way and there really isn't a right or wrong way to pick a name. In the end you will love your baby no matter what his/her name is. My only rule is my babies couldn't have the name of anyone I didn't like in school. Which was a long list!!
MommyMichelle....I also think in the end I should get my first pick since I am the one pregnant, giving birth, and getting up in the middle of the night...oh and doing all the worrying and so forth! LOL. Yet, I never made my stand on that one. In my heart I wanted my dh and I to agree. So, in a sense I was getting my way! LOL My fil wouldn't even come to the hospital after my ds was born because we didn't name him after him. LOL! Now, had he offered to pay his way through life, I may have considered it!
I agree with the poster who said your DH can call him Ryan and you can call him Finn/Finley/Finnegan. DH and I had some major issues naming DD. We picked her name a few days before she was born and only then because we HAD to (I was induced for a medical condition). It was the only name in the entire baby name book that we both thought was "okay" and as horrible as it sounds, I never LOVED it. (The experience was totally different with both boys; we just had a 'feeling' what we should name them. The names both came to me in the middle of the night, as ridiculous as that sounds, and they felt 'right' for DH too!) It ended up not mattering, because DS was 20 months when DD was born and could not pronounce her name correctly. Instead of Madisyn, he said Mani (rhymes with Annie). We've been calling her that literally since she was born! EVERYBODY knows her as Mani, she refers to herself as Mani, signs her school papers as Mani. The funny thing is, DH and I both have our own, random nicknames for her, that only we use. DH calls her Gilligan, and I call her June. She's always responded the same to each of the three names. And I almost think she ENJOYS having 'personalized' nicknames from her mom and dad.
Out of many choices, Handsome and I both agreed on Ems name. Now she is 11, almost 12, and we rarely call her by her given name! LOL She has so many nicknames.
