Do your children have an account? My oldest, 13 dd, is wanting one and I am trying to learn all I can about Facebook. Thank you!
My children (all except the youngest, who is 11) use Facebook to stay in touch with their grandparents overseas. All six of them have a Skype account for the same reason. Odd maybe, but quite useful. Also, I used Facebook and Skype to keep in touch with my second son when he spent the last semester as an exchange student in Singapore. They really aren't embarrassed when their friends see personal notes from family. Indeed, that brings me to the point I wanted to make. The one rule I'd suggest for a 13 year old is that she must add you and other family members as a friend. That way you can see everything posted to her wall. Sometimes, when I see what some people post to my older boys' accounts, I cringe. Still, I've never been one to shield them; I prefer to guide them. That way, as they become independent, they know how to handle these new technologies.
If you do allow it require that they give you the password. That doesn't mean that you will use it but that if you want you can get in to their account. I also agree with Cornish Steve about being added as a friend so you can see what is being posted. I personally only use mine to talk with family members and I've had friends get mad because I won't add them but I explained. I use mine to keep in touch with family. If my friends want to talk they can email me. JMO
My 14 and 12 year old daughters have accounts that I set up personally and I am on both of their facebook friends. They both have private accounts that only friends can see. I make sure of this and check their accounts on a regular basis. They know this since it was part of the deal of having one.
Facebook is pretty safe in my mind and if my kids were old enough I would allow them to have an account. I agree with what Steve said about adding parents as friends and so forth. I have been added as a friend on several teen accounts from kids I know from church...in fact they were the ones that asked me to be their friend. I have found that facebook is actually a great way to keep in contact with friends and family...even friends you may see somewhat regularly. I really enjoy it. Just make sure your kid knows never to click on links that seem odd or open messages with strange titles for threat of a virus. I absentmindedly opened an email from a friend but it wasn't really from that person but a virus...the title should have clued me in...but I honestly didn't even bother reading the titles since I was opening so many messages that day. My computer was infected and it was a pain.
A lot of Facebook topics recently. Compared to the genuinely dangerous nooks and crannies of the internet I've wandered into, Facebook is tame as can be. I mean, lots of people use it for job searches.
No, and even if my daughter was older it would still be no. Facebook is about using your real name and I don't think it is a good idea to use your real name at all on the Internet especially for social networking even with the highest privacy. It only takes one spiteful ex-friend or business competitor or whomever to embarrass a person for years on the Internet. Copy and paste makes it too easy to circulate everywhere--places you had not even gone. I once found a picture of female friend of mine on a site of male cross-dressers when I was doing a name search for her. The picture was taken by "a friend," who was no longer a friend. She works at a college and it has followed her. The site owner will not remove it. Obviously, it was meant to embarrass her and it has for several years. Things like that can happen when you are not asking for it, but why make it easy for others to find you. What goes on the Internet stays on the Internet...forever (or at least much longer than you would ever want it to).
Very good points, Seeking..I really hadn't thought of about all that. I only have about 100 friends and most are old high school friends I never really talk to and church people so there is no drama...really..no drama at all. lol. However, I can see what you are saying and I see the wisdom in it. I actually may reconsider allowing my kids access to social networks. Now that I think of it....my friend's dd is on there...she is a freshman in college. Anyway, she put down for a network which college she attends. Apparently some guy was going through the list of people at that network and saw her picture. He tried to add her as a friend. In the haste of adding about 50 new friends (her college does not allow students to go on a social network during school so she is only on in hte summer) she accidently accepted his request. He started posting things on her wall. He was acting weird. her mother stepped in and commented...he retorted none too kindly..in fact in a scary way. It all blew over...and she put him on ignore. However...keep this in mind, he now knows which college she attends and what she looks like. If he lived in the area and was seeking girls at that college...he found one. So, keep that in mind. Most your info is on facebook. It is very easy for someone, depending on how active you are on the FB website itself, to get involved with you can then get info you accept them as a friend. So, Seeking has good points. Also, if you put pictures on there you must be certain your kids set their privacy correctly. You also have to be careful of password protection...changing it every now and again. If someone gets your password by randomingly typing in stuff...there are programs to do that...than your privacy is a moot point anyway.
No way IMHO. My dd's are 13 and 11, email is good enough for them and me. Snail mail and phones are used quite often here too.
Carl just agreed to let Rachael have Facebook, but made it clear (as Steve suggested) that HE was to be her first "friend", and I was to be her second. Which means I have it now, and it has been nice to hear from some old church friends. (BTW, Marylyn, I now have Carter and JoAnne!) Also with family across the country. Rachael uses it to keep in touch with camp friends, and with kids we met in Maryland. Also with the young man from our church who is in the navy. I guess Dr. Dobson talked about it the other day on Focus on the Family. I wanted to have Carl and I listen, but didn't get to. Did anyone hear it? When in Maryland, one mom says that the moms keep track of each other's kids' facebook. She says they won't hesitate to call a mom and ask, "Have you been on your daughter's facebook lately? You might want to check it out...."
You should have her password so YOU can set her privacy settings. Yes she can go in and change them but make it clear that if you start seeing people you don't know or her friends are acting inappropriately then you will delete her account and call their parents, if she trys to pull a password change then she looses computer rights.
My friend monitars her kids' facebook account. If you kid is going to be on than a parent must be a friend to monitar the situation. My friend found out some amazing things about her dd's friends. In fact, I am a friend on some teen accounts and it has made me either love them more or be shocked. lol.
Exactly! My dd has a webkinz account and I know the password. Not that there would be any reason for me to. However, I wanted her to get used to the idea that if she is on anything that requires a password I must have it. Just a bit of training. lol.
My oldest is 9 and has been begging for an account for awhile now. I think he is too young. He has friends that not only have accounts, but have blogs as well. You just have to decided what you feel is best. I know I won't let my kids have accounts until they are closer to 16. I have seen things that kids post to each other and we all know kids are mean and hurtful especially when they become ex-friends. I have an account and I love keeping in touch with friends that have moved away, or that I haven't seen for years. It is just a personal decision.
My oldest does not but she's only 11. When she's 13, I probably will but I will personally set it up and make sure the privacy settings are set to exactly what I want them to be and of course, be her "friend" so I can see that everything's OK without having to login to her acct myself...lol.
Yes, agreed here. I chose FB over MySpace because I have people from my past that I choose to avoid, who do not always choose to avoid ME. :wink: FB had the best protective measures I could find, and I am not easily searchable (as Marylyn can verify :lol: ). I set my page to the most private I can, and that means I have to be the one to go out and find friends - I very seldom get an invitation. I think a few folks from here found me, but I'd PMd them with some info to recognize me. Anyway. 13 is about the age I plan to *finally* give my oldest ds a little internet freedom. Facebook? I'm not sure - I'll wait until he asks, but with the measures FB has in place (and all the little fun game things to do), I'd probably be okay with it. m2c
Sd (17) just got a facebook account. Most of her friends are on facebook and so is most of our family. We have to be set as her friends and we also have her password. She knows to be careful what she writes and we will go in and check at times. If she messes up she knows it will be shutdown.
No. Ems is 11 and doesn't even know what facebook is. Ems writes her friends and family letters or calls if she wants to communicate. We, meaning Handsome and I, do not use facebook, myspace, or anything like that. I am the only one who emails because Handsome really doesn't use the computer much and couldn't care less about emailing.
Do you realize unless you use an IP mask and extremely restrictive security measures there's always gonna be the possibility of someone finding out who you are. People have hacked someone's youtube or myspace or facebook account, traced their IP address, and mailed satellite photos of their house along with a long list of their personal information to their home address. It generally only happens to people looking for trouble but it does happen.
