Are we scrutinized? Or is it just me?

I don't get offended when people say things or ask questions. They just don't understand homeschooling because they've never been exposed to it.

I grew up in California. A friend of mine from work (this was many years ago) was going to be going there for a vacation, and was asking me all about it, and thought that she could run to disneyland on her 12-hour lay-over in San Francisco. She didn't have a concept of the mileage between the two! I didn't get offended at her asking questions about and not understanding about California. I don't see this as any different. They don't know, so they are asking. They might have been told or heard something about homeschooling that is wrong. But if I react negatively or rudely to them, that certainly won't do anything to help them understand the positive aspects of homeschooling! What if you thought that all nurses did was give meds and write reports? If you talked with a nurse and said that, and she was rude to you and didn't clear up your misconceptions, you'd still have those misconceptions, plus a new one---they're rude too!

When my kids were little and were asked questions, I made sure I was right there. Instead of standing far away and not hearing all the questions, and seething about it, why not just walk over and let your child know you are there for support, and if needed add your own comments in? Some people are rude about it, but most people are not trying to be rude, they're just honestly curious! I don't get mad or interrupt when someone asks my children questions, but I do stand there and make my presence known, and join into the conversation. I've found that most of the people are just enjoying talking to my child and the easiest "break the ice" question for people is usually to ask about school/grade.

This will be our 12th year to homeschool, and if I got offended every time someone asks my child questions, or has a wrong concept about homeschooling, I'd be upset almost constantly! It's not worth it to me, and we've actually helped others understand more about homeschooling by having friendly conversations with them, and they've said how much they appreciate us talking with them!

My suggestion is to relax, be proud of homeschooling, allow misconceptions and speak kindly to others.

 

There are two sides to this: Yes, hs children are often scrutinized and more so than public school children, but it seems to me that many homeschooling parents are a bit more sensitive about these things than public school parents.

Our own doubts make us feel inadequate, when we are questioned by other people, which may be why we tend to get concern about people talking with our children about their education. Schooling is just a point of reference to start a conversation with any child, like you may ask someone if they work outside the home and what they do--it does not mean you are accessing the quality of their skills.

Doubts about inadequacies regarding homeschooling come and go throughout the years with nearly every homeschooling parent I know. Welcome to the club.

 

I only interrupt because I teach my child not to talk to strangers so a stranger talking to my child and expecting them to answer back with out my consent is going against what I am teaching her.

People want kids not to talk to strangers but then they are confused when kids DON'T talk to them a stranger. It is just plain courtesy to address the parent first. JMO.

If I'm in the grocery store and a kid starts talking to me I usually say "you're not supposed to talk to strangers, if you have a question ask your mommy or daddy first."

I don't mind answering kids questions, I just want their parents to be aware that their kid so is talking to a stranger.

 

My dad and I got into that very issue, Stone! He came over once when the girls were little, while one of their little friends were here. My dad gave my girls hugs, and then went to hug the friend. She would have NO PART of that!!! He was very upset, and tried to convince the little girl that he was OK to hug. I explained that she had been taught to not hug strangers. "But I'm NOT a 'stranger'! I'm Faythe's grandpa!!!" I know, but to HER you are a stranger.... I finally had to be pretty firm with him!

 

Once I okay her talking to a stranger then it is fine, like our neighbor, we met our neighbor but Sophie really hadn't because she was still taking 2 naps a day and he kept weird hours being a truck driver. When she was outside (at first) she would run and hide behind me because he was a stranger. Now that I have given her permission to talk to him he can't come out of the house with out her yelling at him, "RAY! HI RAY! COME JUMP! PLAY WITH ROCKS!"... apparently I opened pandora's box. He is a very nice man but at first he was a stranger to her. Now they are the best of friends....lol. I don't want her to be paranoid but I want her to have a healthy respect for the rules and her safety. JMO

 

Yes. You want to teach a healthy respect, but not fear.

 

I understand, I think we all teach our children "stranger safety". That's absolutely the right thing to do! I was just saying that if I am right there squeezing my child's shoulder gently, or smiling, they know it's okay for them to talk to the person. If I wasn't around, they wouldn't talk to strangers either!

 

I'm glad this thread was started, I think when answering people I need to learn how to do it with confidence, like I know what I am doing is the best thing for our family. I also think if my kids here my responses they will also answer "the questions" with confidence. I think many of you who are saying people are just curious and finding conversation starters are right. Sometimes I think that when people start questioning us they will be doing so because they think it is wrong (like many people do) but I guess some are just genuinely interested or maybe not interested at all and just starting up conversation.

 

Some WILL think it's wrong and try to get you to see "how wrong you are"! HOWEVER, you know that this IS right for your family, so you're absolutely right--speak with confidence! If they're out to pick a fight, you can tell in pretty short order, say, "This is what's best for our family" and end the conversation as soon as possible! But, if they're asking in general, you can give glowing reports of how well your kids are doing with homeschooling, and you never know how that may help someone!

 

You could always just jingle your keys at them and hope it distracts them from asking you a whole bunch of questions..... j/k

 

Or you could offer them the bean dip!