Well, that is not ENTIRELY true, but our parents are dead set against us homeschooling (good thing I have the ultimate authority over this one huh?) our daughters started out in public schools, and we have decided as of this year to pull them and homeschool... we couldn't be more excited and our parents couldn't be LESS. There is no changing my mind now, but I wish our parents would just trust our decision and judgement... and give it a chance! I guess I am writing to see if anyone has ever had a similar experience? Did they eventually loosen up and accept your decision? It's hard to lose your parents support...
You have my support!!! I think you'll find there are others here who have experiences similar things. As long as you have the ultimate authority your good to go!:wink: Welcome aboard! Marty
First of all, how is your husband? I assume you have his support, and it is a joint decision (ie: WE haave decided...WE couldn't be more excited....). I often helps to let HIM take the responsibility for the decision. "I am head of my household, and I feel this is what is best for my family." If they start giving you grief without him, you need to let him know. And he needs to lay down the law. It will not be tolerated. And be sure to read about bean dip: http://www.homeschoolspot.com/showthread.php?t=5712&highlight=bean It's kind of cute, but has some very good points.
Many, many homeschoolers have gone through the same thing--the family and/or friends are against them homeschooling. My advice: Tell them this is what is working for you. Do NOT get defensive, you don't have to! You have every right to make this choice, they do NOT have a say in this. If they ask about it, you can give them websites to find out more TRUE information about homeschooling and homeschoolers. Many people still have the negative stereotypes, and don't know how widespread homeschooling is! They also don't know that homeschoolers excel because they have the people who love them most (mom and/or dad) teaching them! They get the help they need because there are not 20 or 30 other kids vying for attention! They meet and intereact with lots of people in their days by doing shopping trips, church events, 4-H, scouts, dance/gymnastics, etc., so they ARE social beings! Their curriculum is picked/chosen to meet their needs and levels, not just some generic level they're forced to do whether it's too hard or too easy or very boring! They don't have to deal with peer pressure or bullying for 6 or more hours a day, 5 days a week! Why would you want to send your children back to strangers, problems and pressures with people you don't know in charge of YOUR child(ren) all day, when you can have them in a loving, safe, "learning is fun" environment at home?!!! Kids grow up so fast---I LOVE having "grown up with" my kids (we're starting our 12th year of homeschooling this Monday)! Our family has closer and stronger bonds because of it! There are sooo many positives about homeschooling that it's amazing! You can revel in the knowledge of what a great choice you've made for YOUR children and YOUR family! Like I said, be willing to share positives (oh yeah, do they know that many colleges actively recruit homeschoolers because of their competence, study habits and positive things all-around?!), but don't be defensive. They will soon see how well your children are doing! Best wishes to you!
My mom is dead set on everything we do. I mean everything. We bought a house in columbus instead of grove city (we are less then 6 miles away) and she threw a fit. We decided to look for other school districts and thought about a richer neighborhood, she threw a fit. So I feel your pain. You can always find the most expensive private school and tell them that if they are so against you homeschooling then they can pay the school bill of your children and present them with the price....lol. It made my mom back off. She was against homeschooling and said I should look at private schools. So I choose columbus school for girls. Kindergarten starts out at $16,480. That is more then half our yearly gross income. And I showed her all the stuff they had to offer and it was great. Then I said "I can homeschool or YOU can pay the tuition bill for the next twelve years." She hasn't said anything since. However she doesn't want to talk about it either. GL
Thank you everyone so much! I already feel a little better (it is nice to have found this forum) Yes, my husband is on board for the decision, my mom isn't because she feels we will ruin the children and I will not have a fufilling life as a housewife (uh... NOT TRUE! I'd take SAHM over workforce ANYDAY TWICE!). In any case, we are thrilled, and have found a great little homeschool support group in the area (bummer part is that they don't start meeting until the end of september). Until then, we are just preparing for the start of the school year *We are going to begin right after labor day...* I am more excited about this then I have been about almost anything. I truly feel this is my calling.... besides, what is more fufilling than being a mom?
EXACTLY! As I said, I have LOVED being home with my children all these years! My oldest is 18 and heading to college this year already! The time flies! If I went through the labor of having them, then they are MINE, and I want them, and want to be with them! I always say, "When all my children have left the nest, I will never look back, as many parents do and have done and say, "I wish I would've spent more time with them when they were young", because I couldn't physically have spent much more time with them than I have! I am VERY happy about that too! If your dh is on board, that's great! Maybe he can help be a buffer. Hopefully your mom and anyone else not happy about your decision, will soon see how well it goes and will change their minds! In the mean-time, know you're not alone, and you can always come here for support!
My parents were dead set against it also. But since this is going into my 6th year - my parents see the benefit. NOT JUST the academics. But also the behavioral aspect where they are calmer, more helpful, easier to have a conversation with, etc. It DOES get better! Congrats, and have a great year!!!
If they're like our families, you may not ever get the support you want or deserve....I'd look more toward trying to not let it get to me....which clearly you're doing a good job of because you're STILL choosing to do what you think is best for your children. That's a thought, I wonder how many people don't follow through with the idea of homeschooling just to please others?
My parents and my mother in law were not supportive...exactly, but not completely hostile either. as they had gone through the whole public school "thing" with us. I still get a few "digs" from my mom...but that is ok.
oh, and also, one of my most ardent supporters is my eldest dd who is a ps teacher and went to ps herself...I gave her the option of hs in highschool...but she chose not to. But she is very pleased for her brothers. My life is just so different now than it was when she was this age! and my MIL who was pretty against the idea right at first...she brags on ds progress to everyone now.
You're definitely not alone! My mom and I disagree on EVERYTHING, luckily I knew before I had kids that I hope to homeschool, so I've had time to warm people up to the idea. Hubby has gone from AGAINST to pretty much FOR, with conditions. Just mentioning the idea to my mom caused a fight, but I sent some pictures of a very very basic lapbook Tyler made, and she loved it so much that I sent a link to a higher level (middle school) one to her the other day and she still thinks that is really cool. So, baby steps, and maybe by the time Tyler should be officially in school, she'll be on board. Luckily I live half a country away from my parents, and there isn't a lot of interaction. I cannot even imagine living in the same state, let alone same town as her/them. My dad is awesome/open minded/accepting. Wish I could be around him more though!! on the SAHM topic, my mom is an awesome homemaker, and a lifelong SAHM. She has basically said she feels she wasted her life and wishes she had had a career. As the product of her career, I find that offensive, but whatever! My sister is a Dentist, having her children raised by strangers from 6 weeks old or so. Her first is a year older than mine, and her second is a year younger than my 2nd. So, My mom is going to have an easy time comparing the two styles of child rearing. The weird thing is that while we were growing up, my mom made fun of 'daycare kids' but now that the 2 favorite grandkids are "daycare kids" she thinks it's just the most wonderful arrangement. Hmmm....does that possibly make my mom open minded? nah... Is it wrong to hope that my kids come out WAY BETTER than my nephews do?
Thanks again for all of the support. I feel better and better with all of the responses. YOu know, the funny thing I have noticed is that parents and children of homeschool are SOOO happy with the decision... the same cannot be said about public schooling. As for my mother... she is a very career oriented lady, a true product of the '60's... she believes that what I am doing is wasting my life and my 'God given talent,' which is what she considers my grades in high school... I have been a SAHM in college up until this point, with my two older children in Public school and my younger two with me... but I just woke up one day and realized I was doing none of this for me! I don't want to be a college graduate in a field I couldn't care less about! What I really want to be is the best mother I can be! I want to raise the type of kids that I want my kids hanging out with... the type with a strong family bond, the type with morals and values that have seemed to have gone with the wind... homeschool kids
My MIL who is a retired teacher constantly questions me and DS about homeschooling. She insist on asking me do I think it's a wise decision to HS. Or asking DS is he ready for a fun filled school year in a brick and mortar school with other kids and "real teacher". I just ignore her, but DS told her mommy is a real teacher. He wanted to know what she was talking about. My mom was against it too when we first started, but now that she see's how well DS is doing and how happy he is she's on board. Your not alone. Just do your thing . You are giving them a better education then they would ever get in PS. If the kids are happy and you are happy then thats all that really matters.
My MIL and FIL are against it. I could care less though. My dh and I want to do this. My Mother, Father, brother and friends think I am making a great decision. I guess they trust that I am doing what's in the best interest of the kids. I ignore my MIL and FILs comments and I tell my kids to do the same. Unfortunately they have to listen to that but in the end they are only doing harm to themselves, we're not that close to them as it is, not even dh, so I don't know if they know this yet, but their opinion does not matter to us and all of this going on and on will only keep us further away. I think family should understand that if they go against so strongly what someone they care about is doing they are straining the relationship. Everyone is different and loved ones should except that unless of course someone is literally harming their child or doing something terrible. If we were all the same the world would be a boring place. I have a good friend at work who is finishing up her final months at school to become a special ed. teacher. She thought it was not a good idea when I started throwing it around a few months ago, but now that she knows I made my decision she is willing and wants to help out in any way she can. She wants to go to this great teacher's store together so we can buy some supplies. She has also been in many schools and has seen things that I know she does not want her own kids to be around when the time comes that she has children and they have to go to school. If you know your making the right decision, which i'm sure you are, then everyone else will eventually fall on board.
My MIL was/is against it but she does not mention anything to us. My mom was more supportive than I expected & I'm pretty sure she sees a HUGE difference in behavior/intelligence between my kids & my nieces and nephews. I feel bad that it makes me a little happy. I know my MIL did not approve because my hubby wanted me to hs our oldest in K & I said "no way". My MIL agreed with me all the way. After one year of ps I decided I was wrong & should have just obeyed my hubby So I knew telling her would be hard. We just started our 4th year & she does not ask questions. I blog about what we do almost every week & hope she sees hs in a different light. Stand firm & don't let anyone ruin this for you!
It's hard when you have family members that are against everything you want to do for your children, but they are your children. Hopefully they come around in time if they see the seriousness of how you take it and how much your kids respond to it. Besides, they made their choices as parents.
