Oh, boy, I feel VERY overwhelmed right now. dd5 was sick yesterday so we held off starting until today. We started with Math this morning and that actually went well. They each waited their turn for me to explain and get them started. dd5 still isn't feeling the greatest so she did a few math worksheets and that will probably be it for today, unless she wants to do some handwriting later on. dd8 and dd10 did their math worksheets, dd8 even went on to the next problem on her own. (Which doesn't usually happen) dd5 is just such a smarty pants and way beyond where we are starting off so she will blow through the first few sections, maybe more. Ok, so after math dd5 went to lay on the couch and it was time for dd10 and dd8 to do some writing in their journal. Well, then came the craziness with dd10. She is the main reason why we chose to HS and she is giving me the same "crap" she gave me while doing her homework in PS. She doesn't want to do math that requires her to think, she doesn't want to read and she doesn't want to write. Right now she is in her room doing her writing because I sent her there. She was sitting at the table with tears streaming down her face because she does not want to write. I asked her if she wanted to write on the couch or the porch or on my bed. NO NO NO. She just doesn't want to do it. I had to send her to her room until she read yesterday too, she just didn't want to do it. I don't know what i'm supposed to do with her, I am getting so aggravated. I can't get this kid to do anything without her getting mad and upset. I can't have this everyday. This is what we were trying to get away from. Now i'm thinking it wasn't the PS it's just her. I thought she would just be happy to do it at home where there was no pressure and she could just take it easy. Well, that's not working either. My dd5 and dd8 had no problems at PS they just love to learn so they are doing well, I know everyday they will have no problem getting out there work and learning. But dd10 I NEED HELP!!! I don't know what's wrong. Oh and that is ALL we got done so far, just math and some writing (well dd10 is still in her room writing..... or not, i'm not sure.) We were supposed to start our History and Science as well. I would still like to do that, but dd10 is now MAD and unwilling to be out of her room?????? So I can't do math and reading/writing first because then nothing else gets done and if I do it last she'll be a miserable beast for rest of the day and walk around pouting like she did last night.
I wrote in another thread about getting the kids involved in the homeschool program by allowing them to have input on ways to help it run smoothly. Have a family meeting and let them help make the rules and the consequences for not following the rules. Write or type them up and have them displayed somewhere so they remember. Then they "own" them, and will hopefully understand them and follow them better! Homeschooling is a big adjustment, and you all need time to adjust. Find things that interest your dd and just do stuff that has to do with those for awhile. Give her lots of encouragement, support and even some rewards for steps in the right direction. As time goes by and she gets better, you'd do the rewards less frequently. Some parents don't like to do that because they say it is bribing, and the kids should want to do it because it's the right thing to do, not because they'll get a reward. I agree to a certain extent. However, some kids are goal/reward minded, and have a hard time focusing long-term without little rewards. My ds15 had trouble focusing when he was younger, and hated the big mathbooks, it overwhelmed him. I found Life Pac math, which is 10 smaller books to do over the year instead of one big one. That gave him shorter goals that he could reach easier, and didn't seem so overwhelming to him. His attitude turned around, because he could more easily track the progress he made. When he finished each book, it was a huge "reward" for him, and helped motivate him to work through the next one! Hope things turn around soon!
Well, you'll be happy to know that we all have had this problem with one child or another. :lol: I take the "tough #%$@" route when it comes to school anymore. Honestly, I could care less what DS12 thinks about it. We've been doing it long enough for me to know which curriculum works and what would hinder him so in the end if he doesn't like it, "tough #%$@". His job is to learn - my job is to make him learn. He hates to brush his teeth too, and I don't care how much he stomps his feet, he's going to brush his teeth. In past years when he would whine and cry about school I'd just make him clean the bathroom or the rabbit cages or any other cleaning chore that he hated. Then when he was done he had to sit down and do every bit of work that was scheduled that day. He learned pretty fast that complaining about it beyond my breaking point got him one long miserable day and just stopped. If I were in your place she'd sit in her room until she was ready to work and then she'd do what was planned, even if that meant she was working into the evening. If she sat there all day and did nothing I'd dump the next day's work on her bed in the morning and say she can get back to her normal life when she gets caught up. Of course, it might get to a point where she can't catch up, not in any reasonable scenario. That's when the negotiations come in. You give some slack and remove some of the "back" work if she behaves and does what you say without complaining. She feels relieved and learns her lesson. Repeat as necessary. It might take 4 or 5 rounds of this as kids tend to lose those lessons after about 3 or 4 months. What this really boils down to is a power struggle and you really need to decide if you have what it takes to win.
This was my thought when i read the thread. If is any help, my dd12 is trying to give me junke with her school work! :cry: but right now she thinks i am mean momma:twisted: but so what if school work is not done, then her time is mine until it is done. stay with what your rules are, if you give in, she will run your school and not you!!!
What about creative writing - no grading on it? Take away the pressure that you are even going to actually READ it this time.... just tell her you will skim over this one. My dd is having issues because she wants me to read her science to her today (we do it together sometimes - but she needs to start reading it on her own first) and is throwing a FIT about it. But she's trying now... we'll see Maybe a writing assignment in pink, purple, green or whatever color ink. But also like CM - I don't put up with much crud. DS learned that last week when he literally wrote squiggly lines instead of answers Next day he had 2x the work and he had to have everything checked over - which totally upset him. Oh and for some reason now, I decided to start playing classical music in the background during the day and sure enough some of the bickering between the 2 is lower.... go figure.
Ok, well, she came out of her room with an entire page of writing in her journal. After that she sat down with her sisters and played barbies. I made up my mind for today and said to myself "take a deep breath and try again tomorrow" I'll try a few things different. I'll let them know the rules and what will happen if they're not followed. I think I will continue to do Math first and any other subjects we have planned for that day next. I will save any reading and writing until the end, this way if she wants to sit in her room and read and write for 2 hours than that is her choice. Today I wanted to start some reading in our Science book and did not get to that because of her excessive time in her room. So, one mistake learned. Seeing how dd5 was not feeling too great today anyway, I felt at peace calling it a day. They also run to the barbies or the TV every time they finished something, so they need to know too that we can only go play after our school work or during a "break" I'm trying to just take a breath and trying not to worry about it, realizing what I learned today (what to do and what not to do) that as the days go on i'll just learn more and figure out better ways of dealing with things.
It's true, a lot of homeschool struggles are just power struggles. If not doing it is NOT an option, they will figure out how to do it! My kids did fine with school today, but they did NOT do fine with cleaning the playroom. They are now in there with NO tv and NO music because they kept stopping the cleaning and sat down and watched tv! I've been getting more harda$$ as well around here lately. I keep reminding them, they can call their friends AFTER school and chores. I figure consistency will work eventually! Either that or they'll grow up and move away from home. Edie
I wish I could say I can't relate, but boy, can I ever. We've been at it for three weeks now and I'm still getting the power struggle crap and half-caring attitudes from my two. It probably doesn't help that I'm 9 mos. pg and one cranky, walking hormone! :evil: I just start taking stuff away when they're acting like that. I figure it's still an adjustment phase and they'll get back in the groove eventually. If I have to be a real hard-nose til then, oh well. They'll survive! :lol:
LOL..I just have to admit that I'd be distracted too. Heck, here I am posting on the Spot when there are dozens of other productive things I could be doing!
This is our 3rd week. I do tend to take a tougher approach. My oldest, 12dd, is taking FOREVER to get her work done. Until 4p every day. She's wasting too much time and not doing her best. We had a heart to heart last night. She does not have to attend youth activities at church, they are extra. She does not have to sit with the youth, that is a priviledge for those who show they are responsible. Today went better. Not perfect, but better. Don't feel bad. I still haven't hit science with my middle one. (and it's week 3) Don't be afraid to be "mean". It's our job sometimes. We can approach them with kindness, but there are times that you have to put your foot down, too. This is my first year teaching all three and it's hard. So hang in there. You have your hands full!
Well, I'm used to the power stuggle because of ps homework. And I am horribly strict (my children start chores at 2.) Today I did 2 things. I first said, after startting to battle the battle, I just told ds7 (the "great negotiator") "Look, here's the deal. Mommy wants to hs because that way we can do art, and knitting, and music, and spanish, and go to museums and the zoo and the park and the library and walks. You know, FUN stuff. {I had FULL attention at this point}. Sooo, I'll leave it up to you. We can fight over the hard stuff and do NO FUN stuff, or you can cooperate and we'll go to the library. You decide." Almost all of these things didn't happen when they were in ps. They also earn priveleges -like computer time, tv time, and video game time....so I threw that around a teeny bit too. You'll never guess what he decided (well, ok maybe you will...) Also, as we were "practicing for school" (because we don't have the curriculum yet), I figured they're gonna need time to get their brains back in sync after summer break. I mean, isn't the first week or 2 of ps getting the kids back into the habit of school?! So I'm hoping I can keep my sanity when the full curriculum starts. And I'm planning on not taking months and months off again, so I don't have the GIANT battle more than once.
Oh and I play classical music all day long. The only problem for me is that DS9 (Autisticboy) has made up lyrics to most of the music -even when its on the cable channel, and not on a loop. Which is funny....but not.
This summer has been our longest "break" from school as DH & I decided what we were doing and chose Seton - then we waited to enroll DS until we would get the discount (but now with the frustration and everything - should have just done it - but we did have extra classes)..... Now that I have ds already enrolled, I won't worry about it next year and just will order re-register when we are done.
I am rofl...not at you but with you. I am really trying to make this school thing work for the boys. cuz that is the point, right? ds#2 (see post on how many fits in a day) is testing me. I give the boys "attitude" grades...1-5 with 3 being you did what I asked the way I expected. ds2 gave himself a one yesterday. (he spent 40 min in his room pouting about math) I have adjusted his curriculum...It can't all be fun, but I have tried to take his feelings into account. I think we should do math first and the tough stuff...so the afternoon can be reading and science exp. etc. But they boys say they are not morning guys. (I am) and they want to read while they eat breakfast...do science and then ease into the stuff they don't like so much. So I am biting my tongue and letting that go. with ds2 I am doing his cursive myself now...(writing out the lessons for him) because the book was alternately too easy and then too difficult. I backed off of typing a bunch because I could see that physically it was too tough for him. (now he just plays the typing game part) I do a lot with them together but ds1 has more writing. (they are both to choose an animal from NM for a report...ds1 has to do a full typed page with reference page and notecards, ds2 is starting notecards...and will do 1-2 paragraphs...and I will show him his reference page.) We are doing literature together...but often I have ds2 "help" with the papers ds1 is doing. Anyhow...today has been better...I even had rewards built into the lesson plan. If ds2 got 100% on the practice problems he didn't have to do the timed fact quiz...so he looks and says. "but I want to do the quiz." umm, ok. I haven't quite figured out how to keep them from wandering off. They are good about not playing computer or tv during "school" hours. They did point out to me that they can do school "all day", that they don't have to get their stuff done by 3. and If they are ok with that I guess I am. I do a daily check list so they know what is expected.
Dont stress over the first day stuff.. as for older kids they will fuss a bit but once they realise like some have said the benifits to getting settled and doing the work right away they will be more on board. Take them off to someplace special on the first PS day of school if you can, and if they co-operate the rest of teh week! I start next week -- dd hs private school starts Monday, then My drama class starts tuesday , then ds starts on home front on the 8th. I have been setting the stage, and making a big deal about it all so they are excited! Each year I ease into the first day so that its no stress.. my stress comes between thanks giving and Christmas when there are play practices and dramas to be done! ha! But for now, My kids just recieved lastyears bonus for doing good work all year long.. they each got a game from game stop ! I gave them a price limit of course and they are looking forward to next years benifit as well!
Thanks so much for all of the replys. I am really trying not to go crazy here. I feel I am not cut out for this, yet I don't want to send my kids to PS, it's either one or the other and I feel like I am fighting with myself all day long in my mind. I am off from work sunday, monday and tuesdays, so I just cannot wait to go to work tonight and just let my brain relax because I know i'll be thinking of other things besides homeschooling.:cry: I don't know????? I let the girls sleep in this morning cause we stayed up late to watch a movie so dd5 is the only one up and even her, loving to learn like she does, just does not want to get into it with me. She only like to do her math worksheets where she's on her own.???
Maybe a different approach? Audiobooks? videos? Things like that ARE OK to use!! I know some people who freak out because they feel they can't use things like that... huh? My kids retain a lot by watching videos so why shouldn't I use them? Do they KNOW what the assignments are for the entire day so they feel like they are accomplishing something? With the workbox system we are using the kids "see" how far they are along and get excited as they move through the subjects which I am finding helps a LOT.
Do you have a check list that you can write up for the kids in the morning? Try easy stuff like watch Aurthur on PBS , count to one hundred by fives, do one page of math work, Read for fifteen minutes, do ten jumping jacks and ten berry pickers, write in your journal.. that sort of thing and they check it off as they do it, then each day or week depending on the child you add in more schooly work and less fun stuff to do?
I have to second the checklist idea and the audio/visual approach. My boys love the checklist and are lost without one (I've created monsters there, I think). It gives them a road map and a sense of ownership about their day. The audio/visual thing is a big help, too. I've found a website that loans you free stuff for 30 days and asks that you send it back by that time. They even include a pre-paid envelope for you to return the stuff so it costs you nothing more than the time it takes to peruse the site and pick out up to 10 items at a time. http://www.hepn.com/library/content/ I hope it helps!
We have been at it for a month now and things are just now starting to get better. The first few weeks were TERRIBLE!! I mean I wanted to pull not only my hair out but his as well. Then last week he was sitting at the table telling me how boring school work was and asking me, ever so nicely if I could please make school funner for him. So I did Instead of just doing the pages directly out of the text books we make lap books with them. He is doing the same work but I throw in some coloring pages and some cuts outs and as he finishes his work he gets to paste some of it in the lap book and the rest goes in the lap book pocket. Now he hasn't caught on yet that he is still doing the same work that I had been fighting with him to do and I know eventually he will but for now this seems to be working for him. We have made it through a full week without a single argument and are going on week number two.
