My 14 and 15 year old boys are putting zero effort into school. They act like it is a joke. I have taken things away. Explained my heart out.Nothing is helping. Is there any thing you could think of to get them interested? They are in the 9th grade.
My son is 12 soon to be a teen in Jan. so your post kind of scares me?! Honestly am a little scared of the teen years...enough about me I just found this woman's blog and she has an article "how to homeschool tempermental teens" http://www.cardamompublishers.com/CardamomPublishers-Temperamental-Teens.pdf Hope it helps! Jane
I don't have any advice, just ((((hugs)))), I know how you feel. My youngest does this and he is only 5. I am all ears to those who have advice.
I don't have any advise either. But I do know where you are coming from. Last year I fought with my 12 year old to do his work. But this year it's like someone waved a magic wand and he's like a new kid. He does his work and gets it done in a timely manner. We changed our method of homeschooling because I felt that the textbooks were too monotonous for the kids and I think that may be a contributing factor in his behavior. Charlotte Mason method is really neat!! And if this keeps going like it is I'm NEVER changing A THING!! We'll see how it goes.Hope things get better for you soon. It's so hard when they act like that.. ((((((Hugs))))))
Have you asked them what their goals for education are? Maybe they are old enough to work some...because what they are qualified to do right now, is what they would be qualified to do without an education...nothing like digging a ditch to convince someone of the value of an education. (be careful, some boys like hard work and it may take a while to get "old") Also make sure that they are not getting paid too much, because if they haven't had spending money they might see the benifit without the reality. (to counter act this...if they are not willing to work on school stuff...they have to pay rent, pay you to do the laundry... It is kind of extreme, but I am not sure how extreme you consider the situation. But also ask them what they want, sometimes kids that age just want more control. Let them choose some of their subjects...maybe find mentors or someone else to grade some things...reports and stuff, so they feel like they are getting a "real world" evaluation. Then it isn't just mom being either mean or alternately "too easy because she loves you cuz she is your mom" and pray.
Okay, my ds18 played that game with me.HE wasn't going to do his work, well he found that once that was all he was doing , that and major chores! HE decided he didn't get something ( he had done before and gottten correct so I knew it was a game) I took him outside had him learn to multiply fractions with a wheel barrow and a pile of landscapeing rocks! He had to measure, multiply and then to check his work he filled in a space I wanted rocks in! The more he did not do normal work the more I added creative ways to intreague him and gethim into the school thing. Teens are not so bad, you can get through to them they just like to push buttons and make you feel like they are tougher than they are at times. THe best advice I was ever given is not to get on the roller coaster, just be the one who switches the thing on and off and remains stable and still. Sit down with them go over how its going to be--- NO CHOICES ON WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE CHoices on where they do it, maybe even choices on what hours they school, at thier age, they should be able to do the check list thing. LEt them see if they do the list they get a benifit, not bribe but beinifit. Also as they are in same grade put them against one another in competition! being that they are boys this should work well. Whoever does thier school work best and gets the whole list done gets to use whatever first, or in my house it would be gets a slurpey pass, or at the end of the month a movie ticket, or what not. Another thing that we are starting this year because the teacher at teh school I am teaching drama at does it ( he teaches homeschool style cause he home schooled his own 4-5 kids) If they finish all thier work by 3 on thursday they get friday off! INcentive is the way to get around thier attitudes, but sitting down and having a Conference, get dh in the room too! And discuss how school will go and what needs to be done on thier part, its thier job after all.. discuss the benifits and the ramifications for doing or skipping school work. Show them on paper how easy it is to get to the friday off thing! And make the rams be hard physical labor on yard work or house work, doing dishes laundry cleaning toilets!
I cut their stuff down to reading a book of my choice. One chapter a day and writing about what they read. Also Math. Maybe it will just take them time to get them back into scheduled time. I may also start year round school for them so work can be more spread out. They tend to easily over whelm.
Ask them about their career goals. What career are they interested in. Have them research their career choice. Then explain to them what they need to do in order to prepare themselves for their career goals. For instance, if they want to be a Lawyer, take them on a field trip to a Law Firm to speak with a Lawyer.
My son was always eager to learn, so I wouldn't know what to advise, but I can tell you kind of what it feels like for a teenager. I went to a public school that had no classes and no fixed test times. It was much like homeschooling away from home. Every day I'd come to school, and there was all this boring and often unpleasant work waiting for me. So I'd go to the music room for a while, just to put it off for a bit. Then I'd talk to my friends for a while. Then I'd look at my English essay - uggh, and leave it for the next day. Then I'd talk to my friends a little more, after all they sympathized with me. After what seemed like an eternity the day would be over. then I'd come to school the next day, and the same enormous pile of work would be waiting for me. It is hard for a teenager to "see" to the end of high school. That amount of time seems like forever, and it seems to matter little to leave stuff till "tomorrow". The amount of stuff that is to be done in this time seems like an enormous mountain, and a day's work doesn't even make a dent in it, so you just try to have a little fun instead. I found it demoralizing, and so did the other kids at the school. The general feeling of apathy was so bad that there wasn't even any grafitti in the bathrooms. The average student took 4 years to do 3 years worth of work. Oddly enough, the teachers fared no better. I'd sit by the window early in the afternoon, and watch the teacher's parking lot empty out. By 2pm you could walk through the whole school and not see a teacher, only secretaries. The principal stayed in his office - you never saw him at all. I did eventually get my work done. But the moral of this story is that people generally don't do well in a situation like this. I think it would have helped me to have a chart showing the work that I had already finished, to emphasize what I had accomplished rather than how much stuff was still waiting. More interesting and less rigid approaches to learning would have helped too. For example, I got a lot of electronics done because my brother and I had fun in the lab. When we homeschooled we did a lot of fun things like that, watched interesting educational shows and read good books. I'd had enough boring stuff to last me a lifetime LOL. Wish you luck with your boys. Erna.
I have 2 suggestions: You read Have a new kid by Friday by Lehman I didn't let my kids know I was reading this book-they don't have huge problems but just little attitude things that this book helped with. Have them read Do Hard Things-it's about going agaisnt the grain of doing the least. Jana, Mom of 2 boys ages 15, 17 And I would definitely tie schoolwork to privileges including driving, time with friends and plug-in time. No computer until the work is done.
I agree with teacher mom - my sis and I do the same thing. Idle hands are the devil's handiwork. You want to mess around? Fine - you can start by washing the cars, then collecting the rocks and dog poos from the back yard - no video games this week. It's not tough love, it is a disciplined house hold. That is the only way to go, and the bummer is you HAVE to stay on top of it all. I have a friend that takes it a step further and even makes her kids write sentences IN ADDITION to extra chores. I think that is a GREAT idea!
