We started our co-op last week and the children had a great time. I, however, did not. One of our requirements is to teach a class and help in a class which is fine. What was not fine was that the class I am teaching and helping in has a child that melts down. I mean screaming for 30 minutes at a time without stopping. There is evaluations occuring for this child to see what causes these issues, but none of us knew about this situation beforehand. I don't know that I can handle this all year. I am stressing about today before it has even started. I have spent money and time and want to do this class b/c one of my children is in this class. How do you bail on something that gives your kids everything they need just because you can't deal with a hard situation? Ugh!
Don't bail. I assume this has been discussed by those running the co-op. Are they aware of the situation? What are they doing about it? The bottom line is that this child's meltdown is preventing all the other students in the class from learning. That cannot be permitted. Personally, I would expect the parent to be there to deal with the situation, or available to remove the child if things got out of hand. And the people running the co-op needs to maket his known to the parent. If the people running things aren't willing to give you advice/help, then I'd have no trouble bailing.
I agree with Jackie - see what is being done about it. It's not fair to the other kids whose parents also paid for the co-op....
Didn't read other responses yet, sorry if this is a repeat. You don't bail. I'll share my story, and share how your mind can be changed and you should not scrap something because the first day, or few days was hard. We started at a co-op last year. One that we had been on a waiting list for two years to be a part of. I REALLY wanted this to happen, so much so I cried about not being able to be in it while I was on the waiting list. Finally, I was called and was going to be able to be in last school year. I was so excited, Art, Music, Gym and Spanish! YAY!. The parents all have to teach or assist in a class...so I helped in Spanish, Art and also taught a Cooking class for the older classes for a semester. The first few times I met these people, they were just "unfriendly" and odd. It took me the whole year of coop to get into the groove and acutally like it. My children, on the other hand, LOVED it. I was looking for ways to bail, and just could not find one. I even said "once we're done this year, we're done, no coop for us next year". When the time came in May to sign up for the next year, I did without hesitation. My children LOVED the coop, and I am willing to do ANYTHING and endure ANYTHING for my children. Even coop. It took a whole year for me to make 2 friends out of 29 families. And I'm glad I've stuck with it. I can't say I totally enjoy it each week, but the anticipation in my kids the night before, the joy they express when the talk about their day all the way home from coop, the exposure to other kids (you know...to get that socialization thing out of the way), and the experiences they have at that coop are enriching them in so many ways, that I KNOW we're doing the right thing. I hope this helps. Stick with it, you might find yourself enjoying it. And maybe the situation with this kid will settle down once the semester gets well underway, and the testing is done. Find a way to love this kid in spite of himself. He/She probably does not know or has never been taught how to control/change their behavior - and it just might be a legitimate chemical uncontrollable thing. HUGS!!!
Having taught art at our co-op last year (a K5-3rd grade class, and another from 4th-6th) this is how I'd have handled it. Are the parents required to stay in the building during class? If so, I'd have given the child a few minutes to calm down, and if s/he didn't, s/he'd have to go sit with their mom during the rest of the class. Conversely, you could have the mom come sit in the class with her child for a few weeks to see if it helps the kid adjust. If the parents aren't required to stay, a well-run co-op will have plenty of parent helpers hanging around who could take the child into another room, call the mom, or something. It isn't fair for s/he to disrupt the others who have also paid for the class and want to get something out of it. Good luck. Most kids end up adjusting and really enjoying the experience. This one just might need a little extra help in doing so.
I think you are right. I don't need to bail b/c I don't like it. I don't feel like I fit in aside from this one complaint. The child was great today and no issues so I think that I need to wait and see how it goes. I still felt chaotic with the teaching and changing classes. It was very stressful still to me. I am just going to go with the kids on this one. As long as they are happy and enjoying it, then I will stick it out. If they are unhappy or want to stop at any point, then I will inwardly celebrate. It's not about me. It is about them. I need to keep chanting that to myself over and over.
Iagree with Jackie, see what they are going to do about the child with the extra needs. Obviously if this is the norm for this child the parent will have a clue and I also agree that the co op need co operation to be able to help all the kids learn or it is not working. In which case the child needs to be teachable or be with the mom. I would not have that problem in our co op because each parent signs an agreement to take care of their own child if there is a problem. If my dc melted down someone would have gotten me and I would have dealt with the issues at hand. Maybe you can work something out with the mom to take the dc if there is a problem or sit in a few times?
And know that there is a woman out there that totally feels your pain! (((HUGS))) The things we do for our kids....hope someday they appreciate it. LOL
I don't feel at all a part of our co-op, either. But it's the best choice for the lab sciences she needs, so I'm doing it. Who mentioned the chaos? Yeah, that's how it feels to me! It went better the second half where they actually had me helping in a classroom (hands-on Ohio History, with 6 boys, ages 9-10!) This semester, I'm helping in a similar classroom. I'm much more in my element when I have something to do in a classroom!
I don't think I am going to fit in socially with any of these ladies. I do have a friend that is also new to the co-op and she is my salvation at the co-op. The rest of the time I am just going to be happy that my kids are happy. All the good classes and helping spots were took by the time they called me. I think the veterans got first dibs so to speak. I am just glad that I am not the only Mom enduring a co-op for the kid's sake. Jumping into the co-op reminds me of switching schools mid-semester in high school. The cliques are already formed and you stand on the outskirts trying to figure out whether you should say hi or not.
EXACTLY!!!!!!! You just 'vocalized' the total point!!! That is EXACTLY how I felt that first year. I have 2 friends in the group...I made them last year...interesting thing was last year was their first year at the coop too. All the "new" ones stuck together LOL I love, though, that for my kids, there's been no hiccup, they fit in with the kids right off the bat. THAT I love.
I don't do co-ops, because I have no calling at this time to teach other people's children nor to have my daughter taught in classes--again, I say at this time. However, I helped a homeschool co-op just starting out a few years ago and the group had very specific by-laws about the behavior of children while doing ANY with the group, including classes, which allowed them to ask the parent to remove the child. We had a few children with emotional behaviors, but that did not excuse them from the conduct rules of the group. (Actually, there was one adult member that really was far worse than all the children put together, and they allowed her to teach, which was far more of a concern to me than the children.)
I'm in for the second year, and I STILL feel that way! And I DO know a few people, very nice ladies, but still....
Yes, it is just like school. I got that feeling when I went to open house and got all these forms and well a "handbook". It felt just like school again but with less structure and more chaos. I do not have a calling to teach other people's children at all. I did this to ease the transition from public school to home and thought it would give me some Mom friends. Boy, was I wrong! My youngest son was horrid yesterday and I pulled him from the room and put him in nursery. I didn't wait to be told he was awful. I am finding it is interfering with what we are doing at home as well. We lost all of yesterday and will have to Saturday school. My youngest 2.5ds didn't get a nap and was awful. The kids are being given homework. I really thought it was just for fun and to be around other kids. I honestly am wore out today from all the running yesterday. I am stressed. Is the co-op really worth the stress?
That was how it was for me also. I have one day that I do errands, like grocery shopping, library, and piano lessons and most weeks I had one to three other days of running around just an hour or two, but the interruption in the day and the extra gas.... Well, I did not feel it was worth it personally and I really saw no real benefit for younger children with two exceptions: Spanish taught by a member who is bilingual, but that was just learning numbers and colors and such--I could have taught that class!--and structured Physical Education so that the children could learn teams sports and coordination. Older children, maybe, would get more with a science class (ours did not have one), but then we have a few "homeschool schools" (an oxymoron) nearby. If I was so inclined, I would probably pay by class specifically what she would like to study in that environment. I should add that some mothers probably needed a break in their routine more than the children. Frankly, I felt a co-op was way too time consuming and distracting from my purpose and goals with homeschooling. I would rather pay the lady to teach my daughter Spanish, and if she was interested in team sports, I would place my daughter on a county park team. I found exactly what I wanted for something extra curricular in the local 4H Horse and Pony Club. People who love animals and children; children helping children; learning about how to run an organization; responsibility and accountability; exercising in riding, grooming, cleaning stalls, etc. (all with horses!!!); lots of community work; mixture of children in ages, races, schooling, and so on. I can sign up to help out with events, but we are not kicked out if I cannot make it and they are always appreciative of extra hands just showing up unexpected. Since it is the children who run the club (with adult supervision and guidance), the real pressure is on them to make it work. There are other clubs all over that are interest oriented like that. Personally, I remain happily independent!!! :love:
There is a homeschool 4H that meets at the library 2 Thursdays a month and I am thinking it would have been much more our speed. I wish that I would have chosen it instead. I found out about it after applying to this co-op. Now I have spent a pretty good bit of money. As long as the kids are happy, then I will endure...but we won't sign up next year.
We don't use a co-op but we use a charter school and some of the classes are mixed grades such as pottery but for the most part it works and the parents can go to the school and take the classes if they want with their kids. Next year my ds will be in Kindergarten and I plan on doing all the classes with him, he can't wait to go to that school since my older girls go there. It took me at least 6 months to just open up and start talking to people, it helped that I already knew some of the parents there and a few of the other new parents were friends already. That was all 3 years ago, now I'm really involved in the school and volunteer there as much as possible and have made a lot of new hs friends that I socialize with at the school, because I need to socialize as much as my kids.
My children were also in a homeschool 4-H. Part of the reason we're up at 6 AM and starting school no later than 7:15 is for me to get some good, solid school time in BEFORE we have to do any running! I usually have Bible Reading, history, and individual math/language lessons/assignments made before 9:00.
First two weeks of coop are always the hardest especially with kids not used to being away from their parents. I usually have my helper escort the child to where ever the mother will be, I find out where she will be at during my class. I won't stand for it because the other children suffer for it.
