I am about to enroll ds in school. I am tired of fighting with him. I am tired of planning, only to do half the work because the first half took too long. My ds says school is boring at home. All he wants to do is play. He is the kind of kid that needs a consistent curriculum. He needs to go over the letter sounds every day, or he forgets. He needs flash cards. He needs drills as boring as they are, or he just does not remember. I don't have the energy to argue with him about school. I have a 3 y/o that needs me too. When we argue it is not good for my dd to see and it makes each lesson take 3xs as long. How do others make it fun? I mean really we have to do reading, phonics, writing, math. Help i am so discouraged.
When it came to flash cards I would turn them into games with the kids. If they missed one they had to touch their nose, miss again lift up one leg, miss again do something else. Then when they got one correct they could remove one of their positions of their choice. Believe it or not my ds still enjoys this with his spelling & he is now in 8th grade. My ds was the same way needing constant repetition but it does get better. I would just have to change things around to work with him instead of against him. His reading books are totally geared around his interests not what the books mandate. Not everyone chooses to hs and if you decide to place him in ps that's okay. We all need to do what works for us. Hang in there.
How long is school taking? Just wondering if maybe it is too long for him. I try to be done within my younger two within 2 hours and they have LOTS of breaks in that time frame. My dd5 LOVES school and feels left out if I don't have her doing something with the older ones so I try to have coloring pages or handwriting practice sheets for her to do when that happens. But most of the time she goes and plays with her sister until I'm done with the boys' lesson and then they come back to me and get going on their studies which I try to limit each of them to 15 minutes for my 5 year old (reading takes about 25 or so min.) I don't try to do EVERY subject everyday. Mostly every other day except for math and reading. We play games when my creative mind decides to show up There are days that they just aren't in the mood to do school so I just have them do the basics. For the younger ones it's reading and math. The older ones have more and their lessons take 30 to 45 minutes per subject. I don't know how to make it all fun, but I do know that doing school in differant ways makes it more interesting for them. For math sometimes I pull out a game called 4 way countdown. All the kids can play it. From my 5 year old all the way to my 7th grader. And it breaks the monotony. Reading and handwriting don't have to consist of read a book or write such and such on this page.. Reading can be a game. My daughter and I read together and I read, then pause and she reads the next word. She likes that. There are books at the library called you read to me, I'll read to you. They are wonderful! Instead of having him do handwriting on paper change it to writing on a wipe off board or let him write on the pages but use a thin highlighter instead of a pencil.. I don't know how old your son is so this may not all be appropriate for him. But I do some of this with my older ones too. This is our 3rd year of homeschooling and I STILL have those days where I wonder if this is what I should be doing. My 13 year old really tried my patience yesterday, but I didn't let him get the upper hand. It would've been easier to just say "fine, Go on and do what you want to do". But It wouldn't do him a bit of good. So instead he was up until 11 pm last night redoing his work that he did yesterday. He did the work but only to the point that he could say he did it,but with no effort whatsoever. These days are going to happen. Just keep pushing through. There are days that you can take off because your children aren't focused and then there are days that they MUST do their work even though they don't want to. That's ok. My kids were in public school so it took a while for them to get used to the homeschool environment. They wanted to watch tv or play outside. So we made a rule. TV doesn't come on until after school and NOBODY goes outside until they do some of their work and I ok them to go. That gets them to moving sometimes. I'm not sure this has been of any help to you, but know that you are not alone!! I'm positive that most of the people on this board have gone through this same thing. Just hang in there. A time of deschooling may be in order. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
We did this too!! I completely forgot. We played a type of musical chairs with our flashcards. I placed them on the floor and played music, the kids would jump around and run around on the cards and when the song ended they stopped and whatever flashcard they were standing on they had to give me the answer. We had SO much fun doing that. I laughed so hard I was crying. My kids are AWESOMELY(probably not a word) AMAZING people.
What we learned raising our six children is that some thrive with homeschooling and some need to be in a school. We've used all three forms of education - homeschool, private school, and public school - and we've adapted to circumstances and the needs of each child. I know that not everyone will agree with me about this, but it's important to be pragmatic. Maybe your son needs a year in school. Maybe he'll be ready to restart homeschooling in a year or two. Each of us is different. The important point is that you never stop being responsible for his education. Even if your son goes to school, you're delegating to a schoolteacher, and you may need to step in sometimes. We had to pull children out of some things (such as not watching movies with which we didn't agree), but we found the teachers to be very accommodating. Could you adopt a halfway house approach? Could he attend a school or support group for some subjects and stay at home for others? Does your local Y, for example, offer PE for homeschoolers? Is there a homeschool baseball program? These things can also help.
You could use starfall.com for his phonics. The site is certainly thorough enough in that area. It can also help him with his reading as it has interactive storybooks in it. The Leapster reader is also a good tool for helping with reading. The reading pen will read the story to him or let him read on his own and help him with words he doesn't recognize. There is also, though, going to have to be a disciplinary component here. Your son is just going to have to learn that we all have to do stuff that we may not like. That's life. You can only take the fun part so far and then there's going to have to be a little work part as well. My kids get the same response from me when they whine, "Tough. Now, get busy or I'm going to cut off your game play today." Something else to consider is this: boys do tend to respond to men better than to women. If your son won't knock off the attitude, then it would be great if your husband could be persuaded to be the principal and help him straighten it out. I have threatened to call my DH and have him give a talk to my son over the phone on a couple of occasions [and actually did it once]. That tends to solve my problem quickly as my son tends to want to impress his dad.
Spot on! Indeed, this is a big disadvantage of public elementary school because there are so few male teachers, and the boys are expected to learn as if they were girls (which causes a lot of problems). Boys learn quite differently from girls.
How old is your DS? When my DS was little and we started having problems with schooling we implemented a sticker chart. We bought stickers at the Dollar Tree and made a simple chart on the computer to print out. For every day that he was good he got a sticker. We tried smiley faces but my DS really likes stickers. After he got so many stickers, he got a "treat". We started out at 5 stickers. The "treats" we made together. There was a jar with them written on and he got to pick one randomly. They were little things like a get out of school/free day pass, you pick what's for dinner (he chose ice cream! ), an extra hour of TV/video game time. Little things that didn't really cost me anything or not much. You could also try game days. Where all classes are done in the form of a game. Hangman is great for spelling and reading. You could also make up your own games.
You say you end up doing only half of the work because the arguing takes up so much time. I have a question. Once you stop - because of the arguing/wasted time - what does he do then? Do you let him play games on the computer? Watch t.v.?, etc. If my daughter doesn't do her work - she doesn't do anything "fun" either. Don't sit there and baby sit him. (How old is he?) I give my daughter instructions on what pages I expect her to do. While she is doing them - or reading - or doing her spelling, typing, and math practice online, then I am in the kitchen doing dishes, or washing clothes, etc. If she has a question - I am nearby. If she starts asking too many questions - to dawdle or waste time - I nip it quickly, or we will be sitting there all day. She can get her work done in 2 to 3 hours tops if she sits down and gets right to it. When it starts passing that amount of time, I have to be a little more stern with her. We don't argue. I am the adult. She may object, but my word is final where school is concerned and discipline will follow if she obects too much. What curriculum are you using? If he bores easily, add in projects, relate to it with art, etc.
One word. Bribery. Seriously. I have similar problems and the only thing that works is an incentive program. What does your son really like to do? Video games? Computer time? Playing with a friend? Tell him as soon as he's done he can have an hour of video games or whatever. Or maybe he needs more frequent bribes. You get one M&M for each math problem completed. You get one dime for each math fact you get correct. The fact is that not all of learning can be fun 24-7. that's exhausting for Mom and you are not here on this earth to entertain him. But we all need motivation to make us do things we'd rather not.
I have several lesson plan ideas on my blog that are more" fun" than work - I am a firm believer that littles don't need "real work" until they are 6-7 - for k and 1st I try to keep it light and fun. There are lots of fun games you can do with phonics to make it easier, and let your 3 yr old join! There is no reason she can't be a part of it too! Good luck!
Thanks all. I really DO want to make this work. I sometimes get caught up in all the the things I see other people doing (On their blogs). I also have three kids in school, so it is sometimes hard to remember that we don't have to be doing the same amount of work the school is doing. My son will be 7 at the end of January, so he is not too young to be doing some sit down work. Last year we kinda unschooled. This year I am trying to figure out exactly how much we have time for and how much he can do at a sitting. BIBERY, I have 5 kids I learned a long time that it was absolutely needed to survive lols We also have some other distractions in our day. I babysit every day. So we are balancing keeping these other children happy, with the schooling. Not always easy.
Motivation is the key. My Son loves tennis and I promise to play Tennis with him if he finishes all his work in time. If he does not then I do not play. Guess we need to be really firm at times. If you are not firm, then they take you for granted. Guess we need to find what other interests the kid has and do it along with them if they do their work for the day
Boys mature slower than girls. We didn't start formal academics until our kids were age 6, skipping kindergarten altogether. No harm, all went to college. The younger children are, the more hands-on the learning needs to be. One good program we used (not sure it's still available) was called Making Math Meaningful. Curt
Why? I agree with Curt! Some kids just are not ready for things at age 6, especially boys! What good does pushing do if they're not ready? Do you have a state law that says you must do these things at this age? You've gotten some good responses for games and things you can do to help make learning more fun. Do you know his learning style? Maybe the younger siblings AND kids you babysit drive him bonkers! He honestly may not be able to concentrate well with all the hubbub! You say you have 5 kids, but the first message just mentions a 3yo. Do you have 3 other kids too, plus the ones you babysit, or are the other 3 the ones you babysit? Just trying to figure out what's happening there... My oldest wouldn't be able to concentrate with all that. He had a hard enough time with just a younger brother and a younger sister! He did best when it was quiet and calm. Did you know that some people don't even start teaching their children to read until they're between 8-10? Then, these kids are ready to learn and learn quickly, and you often can't tell the difference between the kids that were pushed to do phonics and reading stuff when they were younger, and who struggled and struggled (and so did their parents/teachers!), and those who were taught when they were older and ready for it! My second ds wasn't interested in reading, and couldn't read, until he was 7 1/2. It was like a lightbulb went on and he just got it. He went from 0-60 in hardly any time at all! If I would've pushed him, I don't think he'd like reading at all! But he is 16 now, and he has been a voracious reader ever since he started! My older started reading by 5 (not because I pushed, he basically just picked it up himself and LOVED it!), and I was so proud of him! Yet, now, you'd think it was the other way around: The older one doesn't like reading much, the younger loves it. So really, and not just in my case, but I've seen this over and over with others as well, if they are read to a lot, and allowed to begin when they're ready, it's a quick , easy and fun process! There are many things you can do to learn the concepts other than using workbooks and making him study phonics, do writing and math! Hands-on stuff is remembered soooo much better than workbook stuff! If you read a story out loud to him about the nomads, go out and try to build a shelter out of branches and things around the yard or park or somewhere. If you're reading about Betsy Ross, and making the flag, have a flag. Count the red stripes. Count the white stripes, count the stars. Try to draw it. March around the room with it a few times. Have him tell you/daddy about Betsy Ross. Take him shopping. Let him help with things. Hop, skip and jump and count while you're doing it...... Do LOTS of reading out loud to him, and sing silly songs that rhyme. All this stuff helps set a base for all those things you're trying to do, but it's FUN! Maybe try backing away from the book learning and do fun stuff for awhile. He'll be more ready for this stuff soon enough! I have to run, so I can't write anymore right now, but I wish you all the best with your little guy!
Take a deep breath.... DD over here is 10 and she's just getting this whole "reading" thing down. She still makes a ton of mistakes - but I can live with those. Have you tried audio books? Amazing what they can learn when they are "plugged in" and "not paying attention" - allow him to play or do something else (not TV or video games) while he listens to stories!!! So much you can do without it "seeming" like school. For age 7 - print out word finds and do some logic puzzles. It makes him think while believe it or not teaching reasoning skills. Can you do any lessons orally? If so - DO IT Maybe Math can be done orally - I reviewed all math facts with dd orally and that was her math work for the day. Made her think and took less than 5 minutes most days. I used Ray's Arithmetic for that (free on google books!)
Three words: dry. erase. board. I don't know why, but my kids think they are the coolest things. They will do things on the board joyfully that they despise doing on notebook paper or printed worksheets. My 6 yo DS loves doing fact families on them. We unschool up to the age of 8, but my 8 yo DD is very active so we do things like jumping jacks for memorization, and writing with chalk, and very very seatwork as a result. I recently had a talk with her. I told her that homeschooling is NOT all about mommy. She has to do her part. Because we homeschool, we can do fun things like go hiking in the middle of the day, or dress up as Romans and have gladiator fights, or keep learning about something until we know all of the answers we want to know, and we don't have to do stuff like raise our hand to go to the bathroom. But there are some things that are boring that just have to be done, and we have to do them. We can either go to public school and do more boring stuff and less fun stuff, OR we can homeschool and do mostly fun school and some boring stuff. Without complaining. So that has helped some over the last few days, at least.
we jumped out our math answer on a tampoline or jump rope. Same with learning how to spell and new work. We did alot of jumping here but hay we did two subjects at once. PE and math or spelling it worked for us. But, you have to do what is right for you and your family. If it means putting him in a ps for a year or two that is what you got to do.
We also told our kids we wouldn't sit there and read their computer game info to them as they played, they had to learn to read so they could play some online games like toontown and freerealms!
I have 100% been where you are (maybe still am there on some days!). I use a version of the bribery....My son LOVES games...so I typically give him the 3 strikes and you're out policy... fuss/cry/ pitch fits and it counts as a strike until the games are gone for a day. It works for us pretty well. I had kind of stepped away from this for a while and I can tell a difference...he's back to the problem things of before, so I'm having to 3 strike again and it seems to be working. All the best for you!
