What do you think of breastfeeding in the church nursery?

I think its hard for people to say unless they have seen the way your church is set up. I think the pastor has to understand your side and the other mothers But why don't you feed the baby before church......... I mean if the baby feeds every 2-3 hours it seams you could.............. but yet I do not go to church and it has been a long time since I have. But maybe if you ladies start breastfeeding during the sermin....... the pastor will change his mind on the nursery issue.

 

Amy, I use to nurse mine on a schedule. I could adjust it some, but not throw it completely off. I would teach Sunday School during our first service and then stay for the second service. There's no way my babies could go that long between feedings. If you attended a church that was a hymn, offering, and 20 minute sermon you could do it. But how many churches are like that?

 

Also, a lot of mothers are adamant about nursing on demand. Just like grown ups often need a little extra snack throughout the day, infants do the same. And if that time happens to hit mid-sermon, the nursery workers are going to be miserable listening to your child scream. And sometimes babies nurse for comfort. Again, screaming can ensue if that need is not met.

 

OK, I'm not a "nurse on demand" type, nor a "comfort nurser". But I do understand that there are those who are, and that's what works for them. So what the heck is this pastor going to do when the babies start screaming their heads off because they're "hungry", whether it's a real need or a perceived one on the part of the child? The nursery will contact the mom in the service. Mom's not allowed to actually come INTO the nursery with the baby, so I assume it will be handed off to her. Then where does she go with it? Not permitted to walk the halls. I assume the pastor would be shocked at the idea of nursing in the sanctuary, so that's out. And she can't bring the child screaming in the sanctuary. So the only thing for her to do is to become a REAL heathen and leave with the child. Can anyone come up with a DIFFERENT solution?

 

Can a person be restricted from breastfeeding in a sanctuary legally?

 

Don't know. Personally, I'm not a "let it all hang out" person. But I'm also OK with a lady doing it descreetly in a public place. LOL, I remember visiting a friend with Carl who had just had a baby. She sat there nursing the whole time while talking to us, and he didn't even realize she was doing it! If he had, he would have been SO embarrassed, and would have left the room. I was really amused, because I was aware of what she was doing!

 

Wow...alot of responses...thanks so much for taking the time to address my post.

First...my pastor did not say that breastfeeding was not allowed in church. However, as I said, didn't he just make it difficult for a nursing mom? he did not say NOT to breastfeed in the sanctuary...he said either drop your child off or keep your child with you. So..I am guessing he just allowed it. lol. maybe that will change his mind! LOL

Second...Shelley..thanks for the insider info...we always have two to three people in the nursery or toddler area. That is a rule. Now, as far as background checks....I have worked in those ministries for years and unless they did one without my knowledge one was not done. Hmmm.....

Amie...I am thinking more in line with you on my pastor making it sound as if women are leaving service needlessly and they have misplaced priorities. That is EXACTLY how he sounded. I also know that many disagree with him so most likely he will have to let this go.

My pastor just mentioned how wonderful breastfeeding was also. I wonder if he means that or if he said that knowing what he would say in the nursery meeting to cover his butt.

The head pastor was not involved in this and to be frank would never have insituted this. I am hoping his son..the other pastor comes to reason or at least digresses.

I'm not sure what to do. My husband is a deacon and other deacons disagree with this so I am sure it will come up at the next meeting.

This is not the first area I have not liked at my church. Ever since the head pastor's son came on the direction of the church is different. It has been improved in some ways but is not what I like in other ways. It is hard for us to leave because of the type of doctrine and church we are seeking...it's not easy to find. I know I am in the minority here but finding a KJV only church is no easy thing. I love the preaching. Well, none of that matters as much as I will leave when God allows it. I do want to leave in many ways...but in other ways I want to stay. lol. UGH.

I'm a bit confused and we will just have to see how this all plays out. If my pastor relents and realizes that he was wrong maybe it will be ok. My guess is that he will relent because he has no choice and in that the probelm is not exactly solved. I still have an unreasonable pastor. If he were the head pastor we would most likely leave the church....or really pray that God finds us another one. I know with all my heart God did lead us to this church. I am just not sure for how long. I always thought it was temporary..even in the beginning..so we will see.

Thanks so much for the responses. Sometimes when you already have a few issues you wonder if you are making mountains out of molehills or if you are justified or just looking for another excuse. So, I am grateful to see those with nothing to gain or loose give an honest opinion.

Oh and at my church...we asked men to work in the nursery and the toddler area. Since the nursing area is so close to the nursery area....a few women asked that men only serve in the toddler room. No one minded or cared or felt slighted. It's a small church so there were only a few men this applied to anyway.

 

If he doesn't relent, then the moms need to band together and nurse EVERY SUNDAY in the sanctuary until he does!!! (OK, they really shouldn't, but the rebellious part of me says so, lol!!!)

 

I was thinking that!

Funny thing...Kara is getting over a cold and it appears she may be getting an ear infection. She is not that great on her own in the nursery as it is...this will only add to it. So, I am confused on what to do. Miss church because she may have trouble in the nursery or go to church and then leave with kara and come back for everyone else when service is over. Or I can just disobey by being in the hallway or the nursery with her. UGH. Why did he have to have that meeting! This is so stupid. I may just have to ask him what he suggests, if I can do that in a respectful manner...lol. I mean I may disagree with him and he is my age..lol.. but I still feel the need to approach him respectfully simply because of his position. You what sucks? He is an excellent preacher. He can give an awesome sermon. I learn something everything Sunday....every other from him as his father preaches the other Sundays and he is just as good. I have wonderful preachers...as far as what they preach on and how they preach. they are solid and sound in doctrine.

Ahhh.......who knows. The women having babies in the next few months won't put up with this anyway. lol.

 

This is a great idea. Take another mom or your husband with you (or call and have your DH on another phone) and just explain the scenario as it will likely unfold this Sunday. Give him your options as you've listed them here. Then ask him what he'd prefer you do. Maybe that's all he'll need to see that he's not thought this through completely.

 

I think it's an absolutely crazy policy, and I think if its enforced, you will probably have people leave the church over it. Myself- I'd nurse in church. I've done it before. No one ever knew. (Some of us do know how to be discreet. ) But, I would not like being told that I could not nurse in the nursery. One church I attended had a nursing room- the electrical closet with an old wheelchair in it. I didn't use it but once. It was degrading!

And even if you nurse on a schedule (I didn't), if you take into condsideration the drive to church, SS, transition time, and the service, most babies won't and shouldn't go that long.

As far as fussy children... I had one. If I was not allowed to be with her in the nursery and I didn't think she'd make it in the service, I'd leave, and I'd let it be known why I left (politely of course. )

 

I wonder why this would come about?

Like it or not breastfeeding does embarrass some and offend some.
I nursed 3 of mine, and couldn't with my 4th. I am an advocate of nursing. But as believers we are to watch out for others. We dealt with nursing issues a few years back where I go to church. Our trouble was we had a half a dozen of us and no where to go!

About the ear infection, we peeled a clove of garlic and placed it in a child's ear (just over 1) like a hearing aid. This had taken care of the ear infections for my ds. It draws out the infection. I stress placing it like a hearing aid. Don't poke it into the tunnel to the ear.

 

No, I think you should stay in the sanctuary with a screaming child. That's what it will take to get his attention. And when he asks you why you stayed, smile sweetly and tell him that 1) you're not permitted to nurse in the nursery, 2) you're not permitted to walk the halls with her, 3) you're not comfortable "letting it all hang out" in the sanctuary, and 4) you don't want to TOTALLY miss church. Then how he feels you should handle the situation.

 

I nursed my babies in the sanctuary. Didn't bother me one little bit. I was always very discreet and no one had any issues at all with it. I refused to let my oldest in the nursery until she was about 6 months old as she had severe RSV at 2 weeks old and I was VERY protective of her. If she was ever fussy or needed a diaper change, I just stepped out the back and listened to the service from the hallway. My youngest was a screamer for her first 7 months and attending church was a nightmare with her. I HAD to stay in the nursery with her. It was worth it to go as I still got to listen to the service in the nursery and had an opportunity to fellowship.

A mother needs to be able to care for her children no matter where she is or what she is doing. I would be very concerned about a pastor trying to limit my abilities to do so no matter what his reasonings are. I also would have to have a serious discussion with him and the other church leaders about this issue. If people are just lingering around and not disciplining themselves to get to service on time then that needs to be addressed, but attacking mothers and their children is highly inappropriate.

 

in a calm loving manner go talk to the man. This is gossip.

 

First of all, in my sect of Christianity, the pastor is not the one who makes policy for the church, the church board is.

Second, if he has the right to make policy for the church, I would NOT approach him about it--that is, I would not do it alone. It does not affect you alone. I would get every member, men and women, who has concerns about the policy to approach him together.

Third, if the policy stands, I would be praying for a sign as to whether I should stay with the church or not, because I would take this a sign that it may be time to find another place to serve and worship.

 

Hmm. Interesting viewpoint. I thought it was seeking advice.

 

I disagree. Gossip, to me, is talk about the personal or private affairs of another, usually with the intention to disparage. This is about asking advice regarding policies that the leader of her church is changing.

 

I have not read all the replys but here is my opinion!
1st while there are some ladies that would rather stay in the nursey with there babies than be in service, you will always have some.
2nd-- most ladies that breastfed would love to be able to go though service and nothave to walk out to feed the baby, as for me most of my time was in the nursey the frist few months of the girls life.
when my oldest was born , our church had 2 other babies born , they were all 3 wks apart. As moms , it seemed we were all in the nursery at the same time feedign our babies! and yes I would take 45 to 60 mins to feed them lol, wonder what our pastor thought!
I think that your ladies in your church needs to speak up about that, yes you will have some who would use any excuse to leave service but hey who cares.
It would be funny for one bold lady to just whip it out in service and feed the little one right there! May be then he would change his rule.

Sorry but all the chruches I have gone to all the ladies breastfed, and we would have made a huge fuss about it.

 

wanted to add a comment about the background check thing.
ALL CHURCHES NOW ARE HAVE THERE WORKER FILL OUT INFORMATION FORMS FOR BACK GROUND CHECKS. THE CHURCH INSURANCE COMPANIES MAKE IT MANDAATORY! that being said, a parent in the nursey with their child is ok! The nursey worker is repsonible for the other children not yours.