What do you think of breastfeeding in the church nursery?

No, not all churches do. We have done it in the past, but it hasn't been done recently. I know that for a fact, because we were going to do it about two years ago, and we asked about having a copy of a person's driver's license. One woman was concerned about us keeping a copy, as it had her Social Security number on it. Our was conerned about safeguards that this info didn't get "loose". It was discussed at staff meeting, tabled, and has never been revisited. However, because we are located in what most people would consider an "unsafe" area, we are particular as to who works with our children.

 

And just how is this gossip? If this is gossip than 90% of this forum is all about gossip. I was asking for advice and another point of view. I would be causing discord if I went around my church to take a poll on how everyone feels or told everyone how I feel about something I don't agree with. It would be gossip if I told everyone at church that my pastor was a ninny for not responding to my "calm loving" way of asking him about this matter. But seriously, I would like to know just how you arrived at the notion that I am gossiping.

 

I hear you on this!! Fortunately we're still in a region of KJV churches, but they're starting to transition. We've visited several Baptist churches and have been amazed with the other versions in use. My husband will usually volunteer to read in Sunday school but has to explain that he only uses KJV. Last Sunday we visited a church and all the Bibles were KJV...and there was some good preaching that day too!! Hopefully your church will come together and work out some of the things that are not so desirable as finding another church can be exhausting.

 

Hey, Ava, I know a good one down here! It's where Phllip's AWANAS did Quizzing last year! Wanna move to central Ohio?

 

Had to chuckle...I used to only use KJV. I taught Sunday School and Ladies Small Group ages pre-K to 75 and I had to explain almost every other word. Everyone has their own reasons for what Bible version they use. I used KJV because it was a word-for-word translation. When our church got a new pastor for the first time in 20+ years, he used the NASB. I fought it at first. Then I was noticing that his read exactly like mine except for a word here or there. And those few words that were different happened to be the exact words I wrote in my margin after doing extensive word studies on my own! LOL That was alot of work. Needless to say, I looked into NASB and it was the only other Bible on the list of word-for-word translations. Needless to say, I bought an NASB. :lol:

Now, back to your regularly scheduled thread....

 

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is how it looks to me....

There is some misunderstanding over what he said. You mention being confused over some of it and you are making assumptions over his intent. Social club in the nursery)

Your feeling hurt possibly, or defensive. Your values are being challenged.
You posted on the spot where most of us would side with you. Nothing wrong with supportive places, that's one of the wonderful things about 'the spot'.

But you are drawing the line that he crossed. There are sides being taken here and at the church (I know a few women aren"t happy). It looks like this is something being discussed among people there.

I think you realize no church this side of heaven is perfect because we all make mistakes. But if we choose to get along within a church we need to deal with the misunderstanding and sadly with the offensives that occur between us.

Pastoring isn"t easy, we did it for 10 years . Please, for the sake of unity, peace and loving as Christ loved talk to the man and pray for him. He's only human and ya maybe he made a blunder. But correct him in love.

Sometimes we are frustrated and need to vent.
Sometimes we need our feeling validated by those who care about us.
But the turn this thread has taken griefs me.
Please consider what I've said.

 

No offense, Singing Strong, but you do not know of what you speak. I have said NOTHING to anyone at my church. I have heard women talking and have been approached for my opinion which I did not give. In a message to my pastor I gave him my opinion and promised him I would not speak of this to the women in the church to avoid causing issues. He did not respond back to me on this issue. So, if I am making any assumptions on what he intended than he left me no choice by not responding to my concern.

Look, I am not assuming pastoring is easy. I know it is not. However, a pastor puts himself in a position where he needs to be reasonable and needs to deal with people. Of course, he will make mistakes. I don't follow him, I follow Jesus. I do pray for my pastor and his family on a regular basis.

My intent was not to gossip. I wanted advice. This was the best format because no one here is affected by what goes on in my small church and no one on here knows these people. I was curious how I should procede if I have a fussy baby who is having difficulty. Should I talk to someone else in the church? Should I ignore the new rules? Should I just not go to church if the baby seems fussy? I find these new rules confusing and illogical. I was curious how other women would respond.

Oh and no I did not post this here because I wanted back up or support. I did not think everyone here would side with me. I had no idea or I would not have posted it. I have had other issues in my life that I choose not to post because I assumed what others would say, actually.

Geesh...I think you are the one with the problem. Someone been gossiping about you lately and you feel the need to passive agressively get back at me or asking a question? You said you worked in ministry...maybe this just hit close to home and it is you that should not have posted.

I'm curious how my post stood out amongst everyone else's on this board that you felt the need to rebuke me. Isn't that a bit self righteous? You may mean something good in what you are trying to get across but I am not your disciple, I am not in your church, you don't even know me. If my post offends you than don't respond. Obviously, others were willing to give real advice and opinion on the matter. If you read...you can see that not everyone completely agreed with me and gave me ideas and advice as to what this was all about.

Again...not sure why you choose me to rebuke...aren't there more posts out there full of gossip? Aren't there more threads that give you grief? There is no turn here...I asked a question but I had to set the stage. If you don't like it, divert your eyes.

 

Not to beat a dead horse....but I do get along with people in my church. I don't even have conflict with any of them. I serve on a regular basis and I NEVER speak against anyone from my church nor do I speak against the authority. This is the reason that if I need some advice I seek it here...where it will cause no conflict. I know the problems that come with discord...I have been through a church split. In that...I kept my mouth shut. I am not some child for you to rebuke. I am a woman who needed a bit of advice and understanding.

For the sake of unity, you say.....for the sake of peace... Look, as I stated...if you read...I did mention this to my pastor and he did not respond to my concern. I stated it in a very loving manner....in fact I had no emotion in it at all and didn't it even relate it myself personally. So, I suppose that is what happens with leaders fail. I already know he isn't perfect. I don't think I am causing a problem wtih unity at my church with I am discussing this only online...how is that logical?

AGain, it is you with the problem. Something here struck a cord with your 10 years of ministry. Sorry for your issues but don't make them mine.

My goodness...what is going on here? Yikes.

 

:shock: well ok then....................not sure what the heck that was all about..................anyway Ava I think you have been given a lot of good advice and at this point I think you and you dh should pray about what to do. If you stay you need to be prepared to either deal with this crazy rule of your pastors or approach him again with your concerns. If he doesn't budge and it is something you feel very strongly about then maybe you should search for another church. Personally I think for me that rule would be a big problem. I am sure you and your dh will come to the best decision for your family.

 

Our church has a separate room off the women's restroom for nursing. It has an intercom system piped in so we can listen to the sermon.

That said, my initial - and very unChristianlike - thought was to wonder if your pastor thinks women in biblical times passed their children off to someone else to nurse or just didn't listen to the prophets and teachers of their time.

Other than that, I think you've gotten some great advice and thoughts. I can't directly remember if I saw this posted, and if it was, well, it can never be said enough: make sure you pray about it.

 

I am sorry I offended my intent was to help not harm.

 

As I said, I am sure you had some good intent..I didn't think your purpose was to offend. I just think you misinterpretted my post. I am still baffled as to why you singled my post out as gossip when 90% of the forum could be considered gossip from your definition but hey we all have issues. I have nothing against you nor I am angry with you. I was just confused and taken back by your accusation. I stand on my ground of saying I was just asking a question, and I think most understood that. Have a good day.

 

His mistake in a nutshell: thinking church equals the rituals.

Church is the community, the family, the people. THAT'S what church is and what he doing is a denial of that. Buildings and ceremonies and rituals shouldn't be trumping the fact that one of the most important parts of being a Christian is being together as a community.

 

Well, I know my pastor...and here is the thing. He loves the Lord and God's Word. He knows church is not rituals. His problem is that he goes off and says things that make no sense that he has to relent on later. He feels he needs to go extreme just to prevent problems from occurring. Kinda like if I said to my kids they could not ever chew gum because I found one piece on the floor. That type of thing. The issue is how do I deal with that and what if he does not relent.

My best friend used to attend my church before moving out of state. She remains in close contact with people at church. Now...forgive me...this is where I did gossip. I told her what was going on. I told her because she knows this pastor very well and I wanted some insight. This may seem like a small issue but in a small church sometimes these threads can tear an entire seam. lol. My friend told me not to worry about it. She said that something must have happened that I am not aware of that he is upset about so he took out his frustration on making this rule. He knows he cannot tell one person they are spending too much time back there so he decided to make a rule to apply to everyone. She said that knows the rule is unreasonable and will most likely relent. He is just a man and when he is frustarted he lashes out. I can understand that as I am, sad to admit, the same way.

Anyway, that did make me feel better in a odd way. lol. I am just going to go about my business and do what I need to do for my kids. If someone has a problem he or she can come to me directly and that is when I will open my mouth kindly telling him or her that I have a responsiblity to my child and I will do what I feel comfortable with concerning my kids and family.

Now, if you wonder why this is a real problem for me...here's the thing: Every 3rd Sunday, our small group goes out witnessing door to door or in some fashion like that. We leave the church...me, my husband, and my two older children with our small group. My 4 year old and my one year old would be left at the church. Already, my dh has a problem with that even though we trust those in the nursery. I have no problems leaving my 4 year old..we are gone under 2 hours. However, my one year old has problems adjusting to the nursery and will cry quite a bit. My solution was to leave my 11 year old with her. That worked. With new rules, that will be impossible. The workers will not, and I don't expect them to, break a rule and allow my older dd to stay with my yonger one. My 11 year old is also too young to be on the schedule. So now what?

My friend suggested that I just don't go on that activity. She told me not to allow someone to worry me that my spirituality is connected to going on this church activity. My pastor will not be happy that I don't go...that is if he even knows about it. However, my dh and I are not comfortable leaving our one year old.

Now, again, I am not gossiping and not trying not make mountains out of molehills. Please understand, I am a deacon's wife...I CANNOT be going around the church expressing my dissatisification with everyone there or ask advice in this manner it could be misconstrued.

My dh will talk to the pastor about this at the next meeting if need be. However, our small groups night is a sensitive issue. Many did NOT like the change of getting into small groups every sunday instead of one sunday a month. Even more did not like the activities we do weekly because some are not comfortable visiting and witnessing openly. They also object because there are no longer sermons but only service. My pastor is so happy with the set up that anyone who speaks against it in anyway is made to look like an enemy. Ok..that is extreme but they are made to feel...odd...on the fringe...whatever.

I know I am not making the one pastor look the best here...and that is not my intent. He is an intense man with an intense love for Christ and heart for service. However, he is not without his flaws and any extreme has bad consequences.

So, touching on some of these issues openly will cause a stir. I do not want to be the cause of that...lol...really..that is the last thing I want. yes, I will stand up for what I think is best but I don't wnat to set anything off. So, I decided to ask you ladies how you would handle this and maybe get better ideas. Maybe it was me who had the problem...maybe this is how it is everywhere or maybe it's not me. I was seriously seeking guidence.

To those who responded kindly, I thank you.

Again, I am going to do what is right for my family. If it causes someone to question me than I will face the music then.

 

There are exceptions to EVERY rule. Because of our neighborhood, we technically don't allow children under age 16 out on the streets passing out fliers for VBA, etc. But Rachael has been doing it since she was 13. We had an intern recently, who was from my "old" church. We had several groups going out door-to-door, Rachael with them. They have a son just a few months younger than Rachael, a very mature young man who is use to going out with his dad. So the mom asked the pastor how old you had to be, he said 16 without thinking. She kept Joel back, but was confused because she knew Rachael had gone. Later, we had another time and I told her to ask the pastor SPECIFICALLY if Joel could go, letting him know up-front he wasn't "old enough". ABSOLUTELY he could go!!! Phillip, at age 9, went for the first time this past summer with Carl.

Anyway, all that's to say that I would ask SPECIFICALLY if your daughter could stay in the nursery. Yes, there's a rule, but this is a special situation. I've no doubt that she's not causing trouble in there, and is not more bother to the workers. Let them understand that the only other alternative is for you to stay home on those occassions, but you will do whatever they decide.

 

Thanks Jackie...that makes perfect sense. My dd was asked to be back there to help out before the new rules anyway. I'll just ask and see what happens...and I will do whatever. If the "whatever" means I don't participate in something then fine. If that causes a problem with someone then I will address that if and when it comes.