My husband told me today that he wants me to send the kids back to school. He says that he is tired of seeing me stressed out and that sending them back would give me some time to myself. I disagree. I have been there and don't want to do it again. Teasing, and taunting, My kids having stomach aches because they don't want to go. And then the lack of time to get homework and chores done. When do they get to be kids??? After the day I had I had seriously considered it before he even mentioned it. Is there a time that you would say "YES, Send them back!" We've all been sick and stuck in the house for almost 2 weeks and that is taking a toll on us. I can't think clearly enough through all of what is going on to make a good judgement call on it.. I just feel that it's my job to educate my children as well as bring them up NOT the Gov't responsibility.. I dont' know what to do.
Not sure I can communicate what I'm thinking in response to this properly, but I'll see if I can try.... ....it's sort of like Divorce...if you let youself view that as an option - you always know you have an out - and it gives you the opportunity to not want to give 100% because there's an out. I feel it's like that with homeschooling. If you constantly have the "I can send them to school" in the back of your mind, when bad days come you comfort yourself with that thought. For US, when I made the commitment and said, "No, we're homeschooling, this is the decision we made, and we're sticking with it". It gives me MORE strength because I work on the problem, rather than try to imagine escape from it. That gives my kids way too much power in the decision, too. My kids, once they were sat down and we discussed why we chose what we chose, etc, have bene much better. Yes, I get stressed (okay, my hairs falling out LOL). Does this make sense??? The only reason we would EVER consider sending our kids to school would be health issues for one of us that would make it impossible for us to homeschool. I will say though, when I have bad days and it's tough, my husband says "Okay, I'll homeschool them". I've contemplated that! LOL
We have been sick for 2 weeks as well. It is the never-ending head and chest cold. I honestly can say I've never felt that way - however - my daughter was a BIG challenge as she went through high school. She did go back for a year because she wanted to "have the experience" but she was home for 11th grade on her own accord. And I did send my son to 2nd grade public school because I was in grad school and had to be the lab 12 hours a day. They are a challenge, but for me homeschool is the biggest joy in my life. I could never send him back for reasons that were in my control (DD is graduated already so she's out of the equation) and I hate the thought of not having any younger kids after he is all grown up. But with that said, if he wants to go to a private high school I will let him go.
Maybe try to convey to your hubby that while you do have stressful days homeschooling, schools is more stressful to you all the time - and use the examples you gave here. Them highlight some of the major achievements you feel you all have had, and try to explain that you and the kids feel better when they are homeschooled. He only wants what's best for all of you, but he only sees the few hours that he is home after work (big assumption here, sorry). Many times, daddy doesn't see all the wonder and greatness that you do. Try to explain it softly and nicely, and see what happens. Good luck! PS - we've had the flu ( honestly think it is a new one called "DEATH FLU" because I feel like the walking dead) and as a result, we have done NOTHING since MONDAY and while it freaks me out a bit (especially if our ES found out!) and the kids have done NOTHING but sleep and watch TV (even my hard core gamer son can't get up the energy to get on the computer, poor thing!) and sometimes you just have to give it up to God. Sick is sick, and you will see a big jump in them when you get back. Funny, but trust me on this one. Sometimes kids need a few days or more for their brains to "organize" all the info you've fed them. When my ds was 5, we were stuggling to read, and he spent a week away from us with nana and papa. He came back reading. Crazy, no? That is when we figured out the "break" thing. So enjoy being sick (haha), take the break, and come back with a vengance!
I would encourage you to get to the root of the stress issue. If your stress level is the only thing your husband is basing that decision on, then you are at a huge advantage to remedy the issue and continue on homeschooling. Your husband may not even realize what kind of stress you and the kids (and thus him as well) would be under to send them into a situaiton that NONE of you want them to be in. I don't know what your stress looks like or if there is a biological component or not, but I used to battle depression and my husband has OCD. Talk about stress! LOL We both got medicated and life for everyone in our house was better for it! I only took medication for a short time and no longer need it, but it was long enough to get out of the fog I was in and get other things in my life dealt with. We have had years of a happy unstressed home because we got to the root of our stress issues. I hope you are able to do the same.
I don't remember how old your kids are so this may or may not be of help to you. I have two girls - one went back to school this year and one just began really homeschooling. Every kid is different and everyone's ps experience is differerent. I can honestly say that it was hell before in ps and I am so glad I pulled her and hs'ed. I can also honestly say that I am so glad that I sent dd13 back to school this year. It is by far the best thing I could have done for her. But this is just my experience. Just don't feel bad about yourself if you end up sending your kids back. I have learned that ps is not the devil after all regardless of what some people think. I take it case by case. Dd13 has a wonderful ps with a wonderful principal with wonderful caring and helpful teachers and she is excelling beyond belief. However I refuse to send dd6 to ps because the school she would attend is the same school I pulled dd13 out of four years ago that we had all the issues with. Not all ps schools are horrible and not all homeschooling is the answer. Take the time to look at all the possiblilities and make the decision that is best for your family.
Every homeschooling mom gets stressed. The problem is this...you cannot unload on your dh..not saying you do. Just saying he is seeing something he does not like. Look, my dh says the same thing at times...he used to say it more until I zipped my lip about the stress of homeschooling on some days. lol. I started to talk about the positive things more...show him the progress the kids were making and stuff like that. I realized that I unloaded more than I praised. That would give anyone the wrong impression. Kinda like my dog...lol...every time my dh walks in the door the dog water bowl is empty. Everytime! He always mentions it and acts like we deprive the poor animal. LOL. So, if I make sure the bowl is full and don't complain that the dog ate the baby's lunch and ran off again...he won't have ammo to say that the dog is a burden. LOL. Now, this is not say that sending your kids back is the wrong decision. You do what is right for your family. You are bigger than ps. Your influence is bigger then ps..that is unless there is a specific problem. If there is a problem...then you may want to consider other options. Maybe using an online school would help with stress??? Just thinking trying to think of options to ask the dh about.
Back to Public School? [QUOTE Is there a time that you would say "YES, Send them back!" We've all been sick and stuck in the house for almost 2 weeks and that is taking a toll on us. I can't think clearly enough through all of what is going on to make a good judgement call on it.. I just feel that it's my job to educate my children as well as bring them up NOT the Gov't responsibility.. I dont' know what to do.[/QUOTE] For sure I wouldn't make any decisions while you're sick. But afterwords, I'd get with someone who can look at how you do home school, length of day, expectations, curriculum your using, etc. to give you some objectivity. One parent I know had her son schooling 7-8 hours a day and things were wearing a little thin. The problem was the way she had her son doing Saxon Advanced Math (follows Algebra 2). Her expectation was to complete the book in a year and do every problem. The math people I know say that most home schoolers, if they get that far, take two years to complete the book, and some do every other problem. But cutting back on her expectations and dropping another course he was doing, sanity was restored... As far as sending them to a public school, you're right, it's not their responsibilty, but the govt. is involved in a lot of things that are not its responsibilty. On the other hand, you are a tax payer and if, for a time you need to "cash in" on what you've "paid" in taxes (I know, it's not that simple...), well, don't beat yourself up for this decision. A decision like this doesn't need to be seen as permanent, nor does it necessarily mean you have abdicated your responsibilty to see that your children get the education they need. All of us will eventually outsource some parts (sports, hobbies, etc.), and ultimately most (through college) of our children's education. You sound very committed to your children and I know this is a touch time. Curt
THIS is the problem!! I tell him all the bad stuff and never any of the good things. He sees it as a big burdon on me.. I need to zip it and let it go. I told him that it's not always like this and he said that it "sounds" like it to him. We worked it out and they will not be going back to school. In my mind it isn't an option. I do not want to go there again. It didn't work the last time and was more of a pain to us all. So they will continue to homeschool. I will say that I think that it's me causing the problem. I haven't felt good and I've had a hard time sleeping at night so I haven't been getting up until after 10 in the morning. That annoys me right off the bat. Then the kids are already up and doing their thing and it's hard to change their frame of mind. Then they don't go to bed until right before I do. I have NO time to unwind and take care of myself... As far as taking time off, Next week is our scheduled week off. We will do the basics the rest of the week and then unwind next week while we are off and hopefully we will be ready to start back up on the 19th. Thanks so much for letting me vent. Angela
I almost feel ashamed to think that I actually considered sending them back to school! I LOVE homeschooling my kids. I LOVE having them with me and I can't imagine sending them off to someone else do the things that I love doing with them. I'm feeling much better now. I cooked for my hubby this AM and I'm ready to get the day going. The kids are in bed still and I'm going to go and read my bible and do my praying that I've been skipping out on because I was getting up so late.
Yes! I love happy endings! And don't beat yourself up about considering sending them back....we've all done that a time or two...and some of us (who me?) have actually sent them to ps only to bring them right back home. LOL So happy for you and your family! So what's for breakfast???
okay I am not going to readthrough the whole thread sorry. I will after I write this,. Take a break, dont stress school. If you were sending them out and you all were sick for two weeks how would have coped? First I also want to say you do have to listen to your hubby, as the head of the household and you both need to agree on homeschool being best. My friend told me in the begining of the years of schooling we did that it can be a battle, and not to let it stress the marriage. If you are stressing over the schooling so much and he throws it out to send them back, tell him you just need to regroup. My kids did not go otu until highschool levels, and for ds that was his need to learn discipline of doing what the teacher said.He did okay but I still would have rather had him home. Dh made that ultimate discision and it was only at a private christian school that we would have sent them out. You could maybe suggest this to hubby to save money for a years tuition first, and also I would make him wait until semester break or something not toss the kids in the middle of the year. By the time you get to the semester things will have ironed themseleves out and be going well again. From time to time I want to toss my kids into the schools, but this year with my oldest graduated, dd in senior high, and me actualy teaching a class there as well as homeschooling my youngest I can see there are so many trials for the kids ... being left out of a group of friends one day and friends the next is very emotional for kids to go through while trying to do school work as well. Well this is going way long, but if you re a praying family pray first before doing anything. If not write out the pros and cons, decide the best time to switchh IF that turns out to be the problem but dont give up just because of a little stress haha!
okay just read last few posts now I am saying GOod job! Great idea to start with your bible the rest of the day goes smoother when you do, YEAH!
I vent here or with my other homeschool moms - I RARELY complain to my hubby, and only if I need help with something or to see if he has a better idea for a problem we need to solve. Otherwise, he only get the good/funny reports! If all he hears is negative, then that is how he will see it. Save the vents for moms who know where you are coming from and can offer a shoulder or some good feedback. And I have the same problem with the dog water. My dh thinks that poor dog is dying of dehydration!
You sound like me! I have considered school and then feel bad about it. I also skip important things when I get up late...which I have been doing a lot of lately. Gee, no wonder I am off my game this week!
I absolutely agree on this. He was hesitant to tell me he wanted them to go back. But it was only because he doesn't like to see me stressed. So it's settled. We have taken the rest of this week off and next week is their scheduled week off. Hopefully my youngest will be better by Monday because I plan to take them somewhere and have some fun with them. We all need it... I got an email from The Old Schoolhouse entitled "fall in love with homeschooling again" it was exactly what I needed to hear. I usually don't read their emails but this time I decided to and I was encouraged.. The kids are all outside playing. Even the sick one She's not running a fever and is feeling better so I thought some fresh air would do her some good.. I'm still in my jammies listening to praise music. It's nice to sit around and relax for a change. Tomorrow I'll tackle the millions of loads of laundry that has piled up.. But for now I'm taking it easy.
Parenting is stressful. I have found having the children off in public school to be more stressful than homeschool. You deal with weird assignments, huge projects, tons of fundraisers, dramatics of school relations, the parenting of all the other parents and teachers there, and so on. It affects their personalities, therefore, it becomes harder to deal with the children at home and you start butting heads more than you ever would have as homeschoolers. Tell your dh that all of life has stress and that public school would just have more stress than homeschool.
