I havent been here for a while. I am still hs for the moment my 7 year old son and 5 year old daughter. I also have a 1 year old now. My 7 year old is giving me such problems. He is so hyper can NOT focus and school is a big crying fit daily. He constantly says he cant do stuff, even though he really can. I am schooling him and my 5 year old in basically kindergarden/ first grade stuff. He is not bored, he is challenged but not overly so. HE is just constantly distracted and it takes like 5 hours to do a math page. Our relationship has suffered so bad and we are to the point where neither of us can really stand the other. THIS IS NOT WHY I HOMESCHOOLED. I am very seriously considering putting him in public school and just hs my daughter. I am so torn for so many reasons. We do have a really good school district, it even teaches Bible class, but I still feel so mixed about it. I feel like such a failure, but I really dont care how educated he is if we hate each other. I want the relationship back. ANY ADVICE/ THOUGHTS?
Does he get a chance to just run around and be physically active?-maybe he needs a lot of breaks during his school day. He's very young and lots of boys need an outlet like that and lots of boys don't like to sit. Can he do his work laying on the floor? standing at the kitchen counter? Is the math page that's taking so long too much for him-does he have to do every problem on the page -could he do every other one? If he is having to sit a lot throughout the day that's a recipe for disaster with a 7 year old. Do you think he would be hyper like this if he was in school?
My son is the same way but he listens to me. However, he was diagnosed with O.D.D. oppositional defiance disorder and he was so hard to take care of . If you feel it's more than him being belligerent then perhaps you may let him see a psychologist. They may even say he doesn't need meds but a change in his diet! They told me that too. No red dyes, NO fried foods (cholesterol), little to no sugar, no chocolate... etc... You could also give him a few days off to rest his mind.. I don't know how you are teaching him, but that's what I would/will do.
Faythe had a difficult time focusing at that age. One thing I did was get her one of those three-fold things you use for science fairs, and put it on the table around her. That helped a little. Have you checked out www.headsupnow.com ? They might have some ideas on how to get him to focus better. (A word of encouragement: Faythe is SO much better now! I discovered that she actually is LESS distracted if she's in her room working, with the music on!)
I think that is a tough age. They are getting out of thinking school is this fun playtime and getting into really having to focus. Maybe you can do more physical things? Give him recess during the day. Have him throw baskets each time he gets a question right. How long are your classes? I take a Charlotte Mason approach and class time for his age would only be 15-20 minutes. Maybe you can do the work with him...and take breaks. If he is just a normal boy he will grow out of this. So in the meantime..I say your relationship with him and how he views education outweighs workbook pages and getting assignments done. Let him do math on the computer...with math games. AFter that...he is done with math. Leave it be. Alot of the math games...the really good ones like on Iknowthat.com, can replace simple assignments. I am not sure if his problem would be solved in a public school or if he would have a harder time. He will be expected to sit more in school. A teacher may classify him as hyper or ADHD or something. I sincerely though my ds would be classified that way at that age. He is 9 now..only 2 years later and he is just fine. In fact, he even scores super high on standardized tests. Try a unit study? Try throwing different size or colored dice so he can add them together or use it for place value...different die are different place values. Throw the workbooks away if you need to. The greatest minds in history were not taught by scholoastic workbooks. LOL. Oh..what about having baskets with letters or blends on them....and then give him print outs of objects with those sounds. He can pick a page, crumple it up and throw it in the right bin or basket? I don't know...just try something that teaches the concept but in a physical way so his mind and body are engaged. I hope that helps. It will get better!
Get physical with him!!! My daughter loves to jump on the trampoline so we do that a lot and helps get the wiggles out! What can you do that involves him moving? How can you shorten the worksheets? How can you make them more active? Another thing, set a timer. If he completes X amount of work by the time the timer goes off, he earns a prize- 10 minutes computer time, 10 minute break, etc. Hope those ideas help!
Oh my! I felt like I was reading my own post there! This is my life! My son and I are constantly like head butting rams when it comes to school work! My daughter is the sweetest, most diligent, focused student! But when it comes to my son....he gets it, he just doesn't WANT to get it. We have wonderful days, horrible days and everywhere in between. I'm still working myself on what I might can do to help him better. I know that if I throw it all out the window and just do fun stuff all day, hey, it would be a breeze....and if it was a computer game, he'd get it (hey, maybe we'll do Switched on Schoolhouse next year! lol!). But when it comes to physically doing school work it's a headache. He's taken a new step of throwing himself in the floor over things. Oh, it's comical but infuriating all at the same time. I wish I had more advice dear, but at least you know that you're not alone! And if it's any consolation....last year was similar...but I can tell he's made huge strides in reading progress..even though he'd NEVER pick up a book and read it on his own. Hang in there!!!!!
my ds who is 7 is extremely hyper as well. i say very short spurts of lesson, set the timer and that is it. so say, he works 5 min on a math worksheet, then off to do 25 jumping jacks, then sits with you to look through a book, all the while throwing some reading in there, then sit down and do 5 more math minutes. but the timer is the boss, not you. so if the timer says 5 min, than that is what we do. make it a game, i dont know, at that age, im more worried about investing in the relationship than in actual school. i just do what sounds fun and we learn as we go, there really is alot of opportunigy to learn with out him even realizing he is learning, lol
Thanks guys I have tried most of these things- actually I call it "My homeschool circus" b/c I feel like I am putting on a circus most days. I havent tried the trampoline actually LOL b/c I am very anti trampoline. I am a nurse and I have taken care of WAY too many paralyzed kids from those so we dont do them. But we do kinetic learning for most everything. I have done unit studies, nature walks, reading games etc. It is wearing me out! I have tried just basic worksheets, textbooks, videos, computer games, prizes I swear I am tried EVERYTHING for this kid. He just continues to be so defiant and difficult. He is a bully- really! I have this same problem with discipline- I cant find this kids ticket- nothing seems to work with him. He could care less if you take away everything, spank him, sit in chair, no outside, no tv. He behaves somewhat better for his dad. He still fights him too, but does do his school work better. We have been trying to do more school when he is home, but with his hours that is nearly impossible and we are getting farther and farther behind.
I have a first grade student this year. When his mom brought him to us, she was practically in tears. He had an absolutely horrendous year at public kindergarten last year. She's anti-meds or meds-only-as-a-very-last-resort type parent -- for everything, not just high activity level. She said the boy had been in a developmental preschool because they'd classified him as developmentally delayed at 3, IEP and everything. Then he went to a regular K because they moved to another town. He had speech therapy, OT, I don't know what all, and the school kept pushing meds, and saying he was displaying autism-spectrum symptoms/behaviors, all sorts of stuff. He spent lots of time in the principal's office. Apparently, he would get so frustrated that he would attack classmates and grab them by the cheeks as though he was trying to rip their face off!!! I've spoken to his K teacher who is a wonderful woman and so extremely patient and kind... I've known her for years. She couldn't believe how impossible this child was in her class! I got and read all his school records, and I have NO idea who this kid is they were writing about, but it's NOT the same sweet little boy who occupies a desk in my school every weekday! His mom has tried EVERYthing -- restricting sugars and dyes, giving him only all-organic foods, chelation therapy, herbal dietary supplements, and at the beginning of the school year she was considering acupuncture! I mean, everything. This little boy now sits in his desk, is writing to 1000 ten numbers at a time (ten a day -- he doesn't know yet that he's going to get to 1000), is reading CVC words, is improving his coloring (at the beginning of the year, he was doing faces purple and such -- no more), and has a neater handwriting than his second grade sister, and is learning math facts, how to draw a straight line with a ruler, and all sorts of stuff about our state. He decided early on that he prefers to come meet me at my desk and stand beside me and sort of twist and jump around while he puzzles out his reading words, rather than sit at a table together. The writing things bore him, but he's eager to do the writing that's required in his reading. But he's getting them. He can now sit in his desk and write or color, but he has to have his play-breaks. He tells me when he's "done playing" and ready to work again. At first we had to do about a half a lesson of reading every other day because he just couldn't tolerate longer or more concentration, but now we can do one-and-a-little-bit-more, and sometimes even two, because he's excited about learning to read. He's very inconsistent about what he's willing to do each day -- sometimes he just doesn't want to color that page, or write those numbers, but for the last three days he's written from 251-260, 261-270, and 271-280 before I can even realize he's well-started! Some days we skip reading, or read something else instead of the lesson, or skip math, or he'll do legos or other blocks or playdoh (loves playdoh, hates clay, go figger) or draw. Some days he just likes to copy words from my assignment board, but doesn't want to write his handwriting page. All this to say that maybe a change of diet could be what your boy needs. It certainly appears to be a big part of what this little fellow needed. If that isn't getting it, it MAY be appropriate to consider meds. It sounds like you're doing everything else possible already! I wish I had a nickel for every mom whose little boy just needed some extra time to decide that he was ready to "do school". Maybe your little guy will decide that he doesn't really want little sister "outdoing" him in academics after all, or he'll just reach the right maturity level to be able to embrace learning.
Jill- We use a mini exercise trampoline rather then the great big ones. I found one at Wal-mart for $15. A great series of books that might help give you some ideas: Games for..... by Peggy Kaye. There is games for learning, math, and reading. They are great ideas and my teacher self was impressed with Peggy's ideas! See if your library has a copy of them!
He does need physical activity, but he is the child and should not be running you. Don't give up on God's way. God will bless you when you raise your children His way. I see you being fair and he needs to know he is not in charge. Being outside would be important, and I would give the child no sugar or anything with red coloring in it. My ds is full of energy and just turned 6. I have found that for him doing school right after lunch is what works for him.
Wow. God bless you and He will be with you through all of this. (and it is for good, to benifit you and your son, not for evil) ok. Try reading "Better Late than Early". Now I feel guilty about pushing the school thing on my son. sigh. We will always have something to feel guilty about. It helps me to remember that this life is thier life to live and thier lesson to learn...it really has little to do with us. (I am a bit abherrent for a psych student in that thought) It might help if he had someone to talk to that wasn't you, like a counsellor...some pastors will do counselling for free as part of their pastoral work. (might help both of you) But be careful that the counsellors own prejudices don't work against you. (like being anti boy or anti homeschool) I wish I had let me son play more and work less... we read a lot and that was good. Nature walks are great. Does your son show any signs of remorse? Does he want a close relationship with you? you said you wanted the relationship "back". I think the diet ideas are good ones...we cut out high fructose corn syrup and I don't know if that helped or if my ds just matured. But it got better. (and ps didn't help)
have you talked to a dr about it? I know that all boys are hyper and active and so on, but you sound like the kind of parent that is not letting him get away with bull. Are you tough and consistent with him? Consistency is the most important. Write the rules on a paper for him to SEE. He should get a 10 or 15 min break between each subject to burn energy. For my daughter we use a treadmill or she can run laps around our large lot. That is for days that she is so hyper I can't stand her. It usually helps. Keep in mind that at PS at this age, they do alot of group work, circle time ect. The kids are not expected to sit for long periods. My experience is that sugar or whatever doesn't matter. I know that varies depending on the child, but days she has sugar or whatever, she acts no different really. If you suspect diet related issues, keep a journal of what he is eating, how much sleep he had, and his behavior. Also note how he does his work. I have noticed that my hyper one does her best work when she is sick or tired. Sounds weird, but that is the only time she is still long enough to focus on anything! You might try doing school work in the afternoon, after he might tire out some and not be so active. The fact that he works better for your dh means you are dealing more with a behavior issue, and that is something he can control. If the behavior was with both of you, I would be more inclined to think he couldn't help it. If you are doing all those things, and still having trouble, you may want to talk to your pediatrician about him. I wouldn't want my daughter on meds, and she isn't right now, but likewise if he really is hyper enough that it is affecting your life that much, I would opt for meds, before putting him in PS. There are different kinds of meds, try several til you find one that works for you. Even on the meds, the rules are the same and so forth. Maybe after a year or two he will calm down and you can ditch them. Otherwise, the dr may refer you to a behaviorist that can help you with ideas, and how best to handle him. You might also try looking on the internet or library for tips on ADHD. You can get some good discipline and teaching ideas.
