Cornish Steve hit it right on the head. You are much better off asking questions than giving the answer directly. Oddly enough that works with more than just your kids. Many people can't stand that technique because it is so non-linear and looks very messy. The funny thing is that what Steve wrote is a big part of why Toyota won the auto war. When you ask people what they think, it switches their brain on.
CornishSteve....first off, your screen name makes me hungry. Second, do you have any tips for "planting" ideas? I can remember thinking my mom was a moron, but now it's almost like she implanted a recording in my head b/c I find myself saying the exact same things she did. I just wish i would have recognized her wisdom much earlier (or, like your quote mentions, she got a lot smarter over the years).
I can tell you for sure that I have always driven my children nuts by asking them questions whenever we go anywhere. They also know that I'll take everything they say literally, which has forced them over time to think carefully about how they put things. It's become quite a joke in the family, so I can't say it's good advice to follow.
thats good Steve. We ask our kids too, and need to know when they are planning to come back no matter what age, if they live at home they are under the thumb and watchful eye until they are able to support themselves and move out! I imagine the taking everything literaly could be humorous too! I never thought my parents were morons, so I don't expect my kids to behave any different than I did.. I see in thier behaviors toward me that they respond to what I expect.
The truth is that, these days, I pay the price for having done this: My children, some of them adults, now answer my questions literally. "Do you know where mom is?" "Yes."
My daughter does this now and...she learned it from my husband! So, now I have two of them making me ask twenty questions to get one answer. :roll: But, she does the same with him as well and he now has a very different perspective on that practice.
Treating our kids with respect will probably help them to treat us parents with respect, at least by the time they reach age 21. I am confident that all of you homeschool moms and dads do treat your kids with respect. There are many things that I say that really annoy my kids as in, "Did you pack clean underwear?" or "Be careful." and many more obvious things. I just tell my kids that it is a mommy gene that I got when I had them and I can't help it. When some one respects what I say, I am more incline to respect what they say. The same is probably true for our children.
well a husband is the same way lol you can't tell them anything. An hour later, he comes in and says hey did you know such and such, ? Yes, dear, I went over that an hour ago. well, on the other hand, if you trick him into thinking it was HIS idea...........
brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth............ I need one of those pre recorded messages, OPTION #1, please put dirty clothes in laundry, OPTION #1,000,000 Brush your hair, NOW!
