can you amend it or something like that? If the money is yours it should still be yours. errors happen all the time. (((hugs))) hope you get it figured out and your $$ is returned.
Shouldn't you still be able to write that off though? That is, if you were able to make the payment you needed to by yesterday. I would think that even in this debacle, there was time to straighten it out and still make the payment. Maybe I'm still missing something. I guess I don't see where you 'literally' lost $700 and couldn't do anything to straighten it out.
Yes, I agree that if it were something THAT important and the kid was being a brat, I would have gone and got it myself. And I understand tired kids. But all that is beside the point. Being tired and cranky is NO EXCUSE for lying intentionally because he didn't want to be bothered right then. OK, maybe he shouldn't be responsible for the entire amount, but he needs to know, in no uncertain terms, that HIS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR has brought this about. And the behavoir must have very real consequences. He needs to understand that you do as you're instructed REGARDLESS of being tired or irritable or grouchy.
I agree that if it was something THAT important....it should have been handled by you or your hubby sooner. BUT, I also would like to point out in regard to his behavior...(NOT the lying part, the irritability)...I honestly cannot function within the 1st hour or 2 of waking up...dh jokes that you shouldn't ask me anything before noon lol But again, if your son is this way...it wasn't the time to be asking him to do something of value.
As to the situation, in retrospect, poor choices were made all the way around. The transaction could have been dealt with a day or so in advance, possibly, avoiding this deadline issue altogether. The father could have written the pin on a memo instead of relying on the son with the verbal information. The mother could have went down to ask herself when it was obvious that it was not going through. The child could have just told the information instead complaining about his situation. The weakest link in this situation was the boy and the parents could have/should have/would have compensated to avoid relying on him to be responsible. Should the boy be punished? Yes, absolutely, because we must train our children that even when others around them make poor decisions, they are to be trustworthy with the responsibilities they have been given. When they are not acting responsibly it costs someone, there are consequences, and they need to compensate. Now as to the security issue: You want to be able to rely and trust your children especially as they approach that legal adult age, but a pin number...? Sorry, but my child would not have access to a pin number or passwords to any of my accounts. As for the driving thing, if you feel your son is not ready perhaps you should give him your list expectations he must meet before he is allowed to learn to drive. Unless you need him to drive to help with the business or he has a job, I really don't see the need for a child to HAVE to learn to drive until he is a bit older and more responsible, but I think it is good for him to know what you are expecting from him so that he can meet those goals also.
Absolutely right, Jackie, and that's what I was saying in my post--Yes, he should receivve consequences for what he did. My point was that we often tend to blame the kids for things and wonder why they act the way they do, when we are at fault as well! For example: If we stick a kid that has lots of energy in a desk and tell him to sit still all morning while a teacher drones on and on in front of the classroom, that kid WILL have problems! Then they'll say the child is irresponsible, a problem child and needs to be medicated. That is NOT right! So, in this instance, my point was they stuck this sleepy, grumpy young man into a situation that he had to be alert and and on task to accomplish well. When he didn't perform well, he was blamed. It's the same idea, the "cards were stacked against him" from the beginning! He did not handle it well, understandably, and needs to have the consequeces of his actions! But we as parents, need to be careful what pressure we put the kids under, be aware of the strengths and weaknesses of the children, and work with them for a positive outcome!
I really think that a 15 yr old, who normally, at his age, would be taking drivers ed and driving a car with supervision, that he should be able to handle repeating a 4 digit number to me. If he cannot even handle passing on something like that, how can I trust him to operate major machinery on the roads..and the roads around here at that? We live in a major metropolitan area where to even get out of our neighborhood, he will end up on a 45/50 mph road right away. I am not planning on making him pay us the money, but in my opinion, he proved he is not ready to be behind the wheel of a car. I know other parents would allow someone this irresponsible to drive just because they were old enough, but this was such a simple task that my 5 yr old could have done it. I would not have simply taken my 5 yr old's word for it, but he could have done it. I would have done it at 15. Seriously, I did so much as 15. So, the only "punishment" is that I have explained to him that I know he wants to drive a car, but he needs to work harder to prove he is responsible enough before we will allow him to do drivers ed.
We told the same thing to our oldest (he's 18)--he needed to show consistent responsible behaviour, and do the research on getting the license and info. on insurance. He never did, then chose to just keep his permit until next summer. Works for me! I totally agree with not allowing one that is not showing responsible behaviour NOT to drive!!! I wouldn't want to be on the road with someone else like that driving! My point was that it was NOT easy for your son! Because you could do it at his age means he should be able to do it at his age? I respectfully have to disagree with that. He's a totally different person! He has different strengths and weaknesses than you or anyone else in the world, for that matter. God made us each unique and special! Anyway, you said he had just gotten up and was sleepy and grumpy. I still feel that we need to approach these situations carefully. Wait an hour 'til he's more awake and less grumpy! Or, text or e-mail the number between you and your dh, or SOMEthing. Your ds just wasn't ready for that. Someone else mentioned above that things just don't stick in teenagers heads! They can look right at you while you're talking and totally miss what you say! My 16yo has done that. I've repeated things 3 or more times when he's right there looking at me when I'm saying it! It's hormones and changes in the body, not defiance or stupidity. Their body is going through so many changes that sometimes their brain can't keep up! You're right, your 5yo probably COULD have done it---but he's not a sleepy, grumpy teenager going through so many changes! Maybe you breezed through your teen years without any, or many, problems, but MANY kids have tough times during their teen years and need support and understanding. It can be VERY frustrating sometimes!!! But they DO emerge on the other end and become intelligent beings again! LOL My ds16 has NOT taken driver's training, and will NOT be getting a license when he's 16 either. He's not mature enough for that yet. He's an AMAZING kid, but not ready for that kind of responsibility yet, which is quite alright! Not every kid IS ready at those younger ages! He will take his driver's training this coming summer. He'll be almost 17. He MAY get his license the next summer.....we'll see.
Hmmm. Is it me or are we giving our youth too little credit? I definitely think a 15 year old could have easily handled that piece of information and I think it is a disservice to blame hormones or puberty every time teens act irresponsibly. In many countries 15 yo would be working to help out the family not muttering incoherently because he was sleepy!!!
I hear an echo in here. I agree with Deena. I dont understand where the money is coming from or why nobody but the teenager was able to fetch the info..... If I had a task to accomplish that was very important, so important that if it was done wrong it would cost me money, I would take on the responsibility "myself" and not put the burden on the shoulders of my teenager.
No, not giving the youth too little credit. 15yo's obviously CAN function, but I still believe the deck was stacked against this one. Why couldn't they wait until he was awake? No excuses, really, for being grumpy, but he was. So why make him do something that was going to cost them hundreds of dollars if he didn't do it exactly right, when it could have easily been done by the parents without the hassle and problems? If this was a job he was at and he was being paid for, then he would have had time to get dressed and wake up and be prepared to work by the time he got there. It's not just that he's a teenager that I'm saying these things. Many people have a hard time waking, and are grouchy for awhile after getting up. Focusing is just too hard in those moments. I don't care whether it was the 5yo, the teenager, or an adult. If they're given a task, even though it SEEMS simple to the awake person giving it, and would be in an hour or so to the person it is being given to, in those moments their brain doesn't want to focus, so it makes it a HARD task. I'm not grouchy, usually, but I DO take longer to wake up. My dh jumps out of bed and starts talking (he's a morning person), and I have a hard time figuring out what he's saying, cuz I'm still half-asleep! So I'm afraid I might have had a hard time with this "simple" task, and ya'll would be blaming me for losing the $700! Now, I wouldn't have lied, but I might have had a hard time focusing on what I was supposed to do! I got the lowest grades in college in the early morning classes! Those were soooo hard for me to focus and write the notes, and concentrate on the quizzes and tests! The morning people did great in those classes though! Just sayin'....................
