Hi there, I can't believe I am struggling with this again. After two years, tonnes of research and feeling absolutely passionate about hs, I'm waivering:cry: It took me a year to talk my Engineer husband into allowing me to hs and now I've almost talked him out of it again with my doubts that have crept in now it's time to register for school My latest concerns are two fold; My oldest dd is very very stubborn. For example, she pooped in her pants every day for 8 months. She can be like a brick wall sometimes and I'm scared to lock horns with her over school work and for her to suffer educationally because she would stubbornly resist me. Finding that balance between mother/instructor scares me. To be honest, I'm also scared of the work. I plan the girls days now with activities and things to keep them away from the t.v. Some days are great, we follow the plan. I'm a great planner, but some days I am tired and we don't follow through. I'm worried about falling into a slump and the girls watching more t.v. than doing educational activities. Sorry about the rant, but I'm still feeling confused and I'm feeling on the edge of leaping to the "other side." Thank you. Katrina.
(((( )))) Sounds like you are lacking self confidence regarding your ability to hs. There WILL be days that your kids dont feel like doing their school work. Every child has those moments. I work at the ps as a teacher's aide and I get those kids every day. You just have to be sure to let your child know WHO is in charge in a kind and respectful manner. Hang in there! (((( ))))
Pre jitters are perfectly normal. your dd will fight you...whether it is homeschool or public school...I have a little stubborn one also. whine whine whine. I give him teeny little choices, that helps a bit. (like do you want to do math or cursive right now?) and sometimes I rap him on the head. just depends. You will be fine. Just do it.
I have our schedule posted and the rewards they get once we are finished for the day. TV, playing with friends outside, etc are all on the rewards list. They cannot be done until they are finished. After two days of not being finished when their friends started coming over was enough motivation for them to take getting done more seriously. I don't fight with them. I just point to the lists and say I would be happy to let them __________ (fill in with what they want to do) just as soon as they are done with school. I also realize that sometimes we are all feeling burned out and I occassionally do treat us to a special day out to unwind.
As a famous advertising slogan goes, "just do it!". While it's important to be prepared, there is a danger in over-analyzing. When we do that, all the problems - that will almost certainly never happen anyway - suddenly seem insurmountable: "analysis paralysis" and all that.
If you previously had strong reasons to homeschool, try to revert back to those reasons. I used to keep a physical list (lost it in all the moving) of the reasons why we homeschool. On days I would doubt, I'd get the list out and rememeber that the decision wasn't based on a whim, but on solid REASONS to homeschool. You will have times of stress, resentment, frustration....and pure joy! So do teachers at other schools. But they don't love your child unconditionally like you do. Your dd will eventually figure out that she has some choices, but can't choose everything herself. I often recommend Love and Logic for discipline solutions, especially for stubborn kids...not that any of mine fall into that category.
Thank you for your replies, they are greatly appreciated. Cornish Steve, you made me LOL . Brooke, you are right, I have a long, long long list that I should write out and stick up somewhere that I can constantly refer to. I woke this morning, still feeling a little uncertain, but said to my husband "we are homeschooling, end of story." I think I need to just stick with my conviction and stop analyzing, as Steve said. Despite the doubts, I need to just stay focused. I am also going to the homeschool that I have chosen and I'm going to enroll next week, so it will be then done. Here in BC you either enroll or register. If you enroll you are handed a curriculum and at the end the kids get the same high school diploma as every other kid that went to ps. If you register, you kind of unschool and you don't get the diploma. I'm more comfortable with enrolling at this point. The school I have chosen give you step by step manuals of what to teach and how much of it and when. The kids get assignments to do that they have to hand in and it is marked by the teacher, so they really hold your hand. I'm comfortable with this and quite excited to have found a school right here in town, a town which only has a population of 8,000. Thank you very much for your words of encouragement. Katrina.
As far as doubts are concerned, I have them almost daily. I am glad I don't panic as much. I tend to be a perfectionist and have often wondered: Am I doing enough? Will he be able to ...? What if I push too hard? Am I too impatient? Am I too lenient? And on and on. We all have fears and doubts, but I think love is the key. If there is love and joy in the home then the gaps we fear won't be as bad as we think (there may not even be too many gaps). When kids feel loved, their confidence is higher and therefore will learn better. That does not mean loving them will make them high achieving scholars, but the world doesn't need everyone to me high achieving scholars.
Put socks on and dive in! Jitters, fears, doubts, etc. It all comes with the territory. Start out, your children (and yourself) might surprise you. My oldest is the most headstrong, stubborn child. But when it comes to schooling, for the most part, she is focussed and driven to learn. My youngest, who I was dreading, is really having a great time, and is begging to do schoolwork every day. My middle, who's mild manored fairly compliant outside of school, is the one who gives me the most trouble with it. All that to stay, behavioral stubborness is not a predisposition to a adversarial schooling relationship. YOU CAN DO IT. If I can doing it, ANYONE can do it!!!!
Here's another vote for revisiting your inspiration for hs'ing in the first place. You can do it!! It definitely helps to have a forum like this to know that we are not alone in our fears and worries.
