Katrina, There is a difference in spanking and abuse. It sounds like you were abused (backhand across the face :shock. I am not against spanking, but I do use it sparingly and generally for acts that are dangerous... sometimes for outright defiance. I tend to try to find punishments that fit the crime. I don't think anyone here is advocating abuse. No one here will think badly of you if you chose not to spank. There are those who don't. We all school differently and we all parent differently.
I'm curious what you read that has made you feel this way? I've never commented on a discipline thread so I don't care either way....just curious. I would like to offer this though.... We are here because we share at least one thing in common...HOMESCHOOL. I read something off the wall at least once a day on here...something I don't agree with or think is ridiculous or foolish....I just go on to the next topic. I wouldn't let your difference in discipline get in the way of an informative & supportive site. That is of course your right....but I would start with just taking a "break' from here, and then make a decision. Best of luck to you & your family.
Just wanted to offer hugs to you for what sounds like a childhood filled with fear. That must have been awful! Spanking can be done in love with no damage to a child; physically or emotionally. It sounds like this was not the case with you growing up, which is so very very sad. I'm sure that you have used your experiences to better yourself as a parent, and that is my prayer for you.
Katrina, please don't feel anyone is going to "out" you for stating your opinion. You have had some very unfortunate life experiences (to put it mildly), so it very understandable why you might feel as you do. You are right in that we need to be careful in discipline not to cross that line. And you are also right, in that we shouldn't be "controlling". Also, it is so easy for others to misinterpret what is being said. That a natural swat on the bottom for running out into the street is considered a "beating", or keeping a screaming child in his room until he calms down is considered "restraining". Your reminders are timely and altogether appropriate. Thank you for them.
Yes, Katrina, we all need to watch it. I will say some people talk a big storm. I have been on here along time and became friends with alot of these wonderful ladies. I know none of them abuse there children. Sometimes what people write and how we read are two different things. I think we all have our way of teaching and correcting our children.
Katrina, I was abused also in those ways and more. Yet, I do believe in spanking and I do use a wooden spoon, but I definitely know the difference between spanking as part of our discipline methods and out of control abuse. I use a wooden spoon because when my daughter is wearing jeans, I can not effectively spank her. It hurts my own hands and stresses my upper back far worse than it hurts her, but I will not pull down her pants, because of the memories I have of that being done. I am very sorry that you feel so disturbed by the discussions regarding discipline on this board, but I have not read anything that I thought was inappropriate...unless I have missed something as I do not read everything here. Some times a mother will blow off some steam here now and then...and better here than on the children, agree? Ironically, during our Bible Study today we covered Eli's sons. Eli was a priest and a good man but he did not discipline his sons and they, as priests, were quite displeasing to the Lord. My daughter does not like being punished, and that is the point of it so it will help her to remember and make a better decision the next time she is faced with the similar circumstances, but she does understand that it is my responsibility to discipline her so that she will not grow up displeasing God. She understands there are consequences when she does wrong and if I don't immediately provide those consequences in a controlled way that she could give herself in much deeper trouble in ways over which I will have no control nor can I protect her.
Just that reading these posts made me feel uncomfortable. I guess I must be overly sensitive. Katrina.
Katrina, please understand that I am saying this in love and with cyber hugs. The fact that you may be recognizing as an over sensitivity may suggest that you have still have some resolved issues with your own abuse and you need more healing. Been there, done that. Healing of abuse is like walking up a long staircase. You get the top where you can rest and look around, feel good about how far you have come, and you can stay there a long time, years even...but when you are ready, you will see that it was just a landing and there are more steps to get to a higher place. And, each time you reach a higher landing, you will notice that your perspective changes and you become more whole. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. I want that. You want that, too. The Homeschool Spot has had its heated disagreements, but for the most part this forum is rather accepting of a wide range of varying opinions on many subjects including discipline. There are several parents here against spanking altogether and we have had these discussions before. So, there is no general consensus on this subject. There will be opposing views, but even so your opinions on the subject are welcome.
Katrina, I'd hate for you to feel like an island. Especially since a couple of the responses made me more than a little uneasy, as well. Thing is, I know that the advice given to me was meant to be helpful and encouraging. So I'm not going to say anything because I'm grateful for all the advice given, not just the parts I agree with. But I did want you to know that I don't actually think you're being overly sensitive. And you were wonderfully diplomatic in your original post.
