My dh finally started attending church with me again and actually likes this new church. He is up before me to go on Sundays! He has good things to say too. Today he even said something about how with all the insanity, this church feels like a pocket of sanity in the middle of it all. SO, someone came over to us (a sweet 11 yr old girl who is homeschooled and very well spoken and so kind) to tell us when the classes were to become members on Sunday. The classes are in Feb and then the next time will be Sept. Later, I went back and told my dh and he had this look on his face and said he did not want to become members, and why would we want to become members...and so on. Ok..so..perhaps I am just pushing it too far? He is quite uncomfy with religion overall so maybe I should just be quiet and ask again in Sept.. Or I could go by myself and then he could join later when he feels like it. But then, he would never join if he had to go to classes alone later on. Maybe I should just stay quiet and bring it up again in Sept.. What do you think?
If I were in your shoes, I would let it be. If he's coming with you, and expressing interest, that's wonderful! I would let him take the lead on whether or not to become official members. He just might surprise you one day
He already shocked me by attending, AND by continuing to attend! You are right, I should wait. He has done so much lately as it is, I am quite happy.
Wait and pray.... Church membership doesn't save you, a relationship with Christ does! I'll be praying too! How exciting that a door to your dh's heart is opening! I have an enormous respect for ladies who persevere and ultimately lead their husbands to the Lord. What great joy!
Wait until September. Get super comfy in the church - learn what they are about without the classes as well and then go from there. Hey if your DH gets up and goes - consider that a huge bonus
I agree with what everyone else has said. Don't push him. Wait. I will be praying for your family and I am so glad you have found a church family you feel comfortable with. Beth
You know..I always hated that term "church family" as I never really felt that way about any church so I did not get it. But so far, this church feels like it could really be a church family. I actually like it now.
Personally, I would not ask him at all. It has to be his idea. If he is going regularly, I would just be happy with that. And, I am sure they would let you attend the class twice so you can support him, but I would wait until September to do the classes for myself.
I agree. If you would like to take the classes in Sep. do so, but let him choose what he would like to do. In the meantime we'll be praying that he continues to attend church with you and that the Lord works in his life.
From what you have said about his response I think it would be best not to bring up the subject of membership to him again. I know that is hard because you are excited about this church. It's great that he is attending and hearing the sermons.Perhaps you could tell yourself that since membership is optional anyway and is not a requirement to being a christian or being able to attend a church there is no need to be stressing about it anyway. I don't know if that kind of "self- talk" helps you, but sometimes I try to talk myself out of stressing about something in a similar way.
I agree. Also, usually you have to make a profession of faith to become a member. If your husband is 'uncomfortable with religion', as you mentioned and he is not a believer, they may not allow him to become a member. That would be a step in the wrong direction and might turn him off even more. I completely agree church membership does not save you...I like that line. I do think finding a home church is important though. Membership is important as well, but when you are dealing with someone who is in a place like your husband, I think it's wise to take baby steps. :love: God will work in his heart. It seems like He is already. :angel:
I should add...many churches will allow one spouse to become a member without the other if the other is not a believer. If you have YOUR heart set on it, it might be something you may want to look into yourself. It might be a wonderful profession of faith to make in front of your husband. I would not push your husband though. Let him come around in his own time.
When we got married, religion was not of supreme importance to either of us. We had grown up in church, but in very different churches. It was imortant enough that we wanted to be married by a minister, not a justice of the peace, but not so much as to go to church more than twice a year. My dd continued going to church and being involved in the youth group activities. Then we got ds when he was two, but by the time he became four, it got more important to me that he be raised at least familiar with church and that we should start going together. So we did, and dh went along with it, even though it was not his church. He was one who had gone to religion class for all twelve years of schooling, but had quit church when he left home. He didn't denounce it or anything, just stopped going. So we all went for awhile, together, for worship services, and then the preacher invited us to his class which was for couples. Up until then, there was the men's class and the women's class and never the twain shall meet. So we started going. Then dh lost interest. "Where's your other half?" they'd ask. "Oh, he's worshipping at St. Mattress this morning," I'd say. He'd come when there was a supper or something. Then we had a revival, and when the evangelist told the story about the little boy and his daddy who would play "jump into my arms, I'll catch you," it suddenly made sense to dh -- that God is our Father, and He wants us to trust Him just the way the little boy trusted his daddy in the story -- because he'd played the same game with his own daddy. Suddenly he understood, and gave his heart to Christ. He and ds were baptized together at the same time. Now dh is a deacon! And the moral to that story is, do what you need to do for your own relationship with God, and keep praying for every member of your family.
Let him know how grateful you are to have him attend with you, but he should definitely be the one to take the lead on membership. I would wait on him, never pressure, and pray diligently.
it is hard to know your husband should be the spiritual leader in your home and isn't interested in the job. I'm in the same position here and my grandmother's advice to me is always "stay on your knees in prayer for your man" My grandmother stayed on her knees for 56 years and on her 56th anniversary my grandfather gave his life to Christ! the moral of the story, Never give up!!
Well...I have to go with dh here. I am not a joiner myself. We went to a church for years without knowing 3/4 of the other regulars much less joining. (and it was a very small church) anyhooooo...in spite of my not being a joiner God has a sense of humor. 3 of my (4) children have been baptized in the church we attend now...so THEY are members. And I am doing my internship (psych.) with the pastor AND I am attending a Baptist University. in spite of the fact that never in a million years would I call myself a Baptist especially a Southern Baptist....although we are fairly South. So...go but don't sweat it.
