Today, I had a very familiar experience with my son.:x We were going over some questions about a short story that I wrote out for him. I had originally planned just to discuss the story, but he couldn't even tell me the main theme. Well, it was very evident that he guessed on about 1/2 to 2/3 of the ?'s. I asked and he confirmed this. My one idea is to make him re-do any work that he doesn't give his best effort when he does it. My other idea is to let him get a failing grade and if he fails that "semester" because of enough failing grades-then he has to do that semester over again in that subject. As a mom, I don't want him to re-do a whole semester in a subject, but I also don't think I should let him "get away" with laziness and half-hearted (or less) work. Either way, he faces consequences. He HATES to re-do work. But, of course, he would hate it more if he had to re-do a whole semester. What do you guys think? He is in "9th" and he is 15 years old. He doesn't enjoy the learning process, unless it is his area of interest.
Can you make the short stories about what interests him more? Failing is a interesting option, but considering his age, I think I would make the comparison of learning to driving, as most teenagers cannot wait to drive, which is a powerful motivator. I might say something along the lines of this: If you cannot show responsibility and make an effort in completing your schoolwork to the best of your ability, then you are not showing yourself to be responsible in learning to be a safe and responsible driver, so we will be putting driving lessons off until you have proven yourself to be responsible and ready in other areas of your life.
I love the idea of having his extra curricular activites tied to his school performance. My parents did that with me when I was in high school and it was very effective.
I will make sd redo work if she has not answered the questions or done a half hearted job. Her extracurriculars, tv, video games... are all based on if she has completed her work. Lately there has not been much of them because she is so far behind because she just does not want to do it. We extend the school year until she gets the work completed. I grade her based on her work, sometimes I will give her failing grades especially if I have already extended a deadline. She knows this goes on her transcript for college just like if she was still in ps. I struggle every day with her lack of effort. I am hoping by the time dd gets to 9th grade she will want to complete the work in a timely fashion and have pride in what she is turning in. I hate to admit I am so looking foward to finishing with sd this year so I will not have to deal with her not doing her work. Once she is in college it will not be my responsibility to see that she gets it done. It will take alot of stress off of me.
I actually think that if I give him more "school-like" consequences, it would be better in the long run. I am going to talk to him and let him know that if he fails, and I know it is because of lack of effort, he may have to do it all over again in summer school. If this happens once-I don't think it would happen again. He always says he is bored or can't concentrate. I know that he does get distracted easy, but I also know that he can concentrate when he wants to. Just by seeing how fast he gets his homework done when he has something to look forward to shows me that. I think it is natural as a mom to want to protect our kids from some consequences, but in reality that is the worst thing to do in most cases. I am going to have to use some tough love. I think if I give the responsibility to him, it will actually make it easier for me to homeschool him. I keep up my end of the responsibilities, and he has to keep up his end. I will assist and help him, but not give him the answers. When he was in public school, I would sometimes practically give him the answer. I would tell him what page and sometimes what paragraph he could find the answer in. That was the worst thing to do, and I will have to let him know that I messed up doing that.
I think you sort of answered your own question there. You're homeschooling! Why not take advantage of that and tailor his work to his interests?
Some stuff you just "have" to get through.... I make Jake redo it... from scratch if he gets a certain # wrong.... on the weekends.....
He needs to know that if he doesn't do his very best on his school work, then you will take away anything/everything that is important to him. (going places, phone, TV, computer, video games, internet, music, whatever) If you can get him motivated by telling him you will take all that stuff away, maybe he won't have to re-do anything.
okay, he is going through that age! YIKES! That laziness is a stage, at least it has been for my kids, my ds 18is finally getting out of it, but went through it for a couple years. DD is same age and still there but she has total rention her lazies come out in other areas. I believe if you keep encouraging him, and as someone posted find out what interests him and let him read about these things that it may help. MY ds did not want to read as a younger kid but now he is enjoying reading a lot , things I would not even think of reading, but he is reading and retaining quite well. Untill they want to learnit, they wont. imho
