Lately Jeannie and I have been talking about her upcoming birthday. The talk usually turns to school, since next year she will be five. Jeannie is a serious, well spoken almost 4 year old, and she follows through once she decides something. Probably because she's mostly around adults. Well, Jeannie wants to go to school. She says she wants to learn there, she wants to make friends there. She wants to be helpful there. If she wasn't so grounded it wouldn't be an issue. She does not make her own choices where it's crucial, but this is one time I'm really torn. I know what p.s. did to her brother. I know how the teacher's temperament can be. I also know what an asset she would be, and school would probably be easy for her. She's a very kind child. My mind was made up after that bomb incident at the high school, but now I'm really a mess over it... :cry:
I, too, had a very grounded 3 year old. He went to ps and then we, and moreso HE, had to deal with the change in him. Kindness is a fault there. She will be praised by teachers and loathed by the student body. I was also alot like that in school. You figure out that you have to decide just how far you will lower yourself to make friends. And lower yet to keep them. I'm not usually pessimistic like this, but I've seen it from a different perspective. I can at least be glad my parents didn't send me to school a year early as was suggested at screening.
I think my kids would do great at public school, but we choose to homeschool because we really believe in it. I think homeschooling is good for families and for the the kids. Our children are often around kids with a wide age range (when we get together with other homeschool families or go on a field trip), and they all learn to get along and play together without regard for age. They learn how to behave by watching older children and adults, and we are able to learn together as a family as we do daily activities and errands. Re-evaluate why you homeschool and then make the decision for her. Speak about homeschooling in positive terms and show her that she can have friends and do interesting things learning from home as well.
Becky, You little one is still young and there are so many options. You might try a support group that has field trips or classes she can enjoy. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. There are also lots of umbrella schools that have weekly classes in lots of places. Check out an art center, martial arts studio, community center, gymnasium, music class or anything that sounds interseting. My kids take lots of classes :wink: Tammy
Brooke, I hear ya. That's what I'm worried about. Jeannie is already in some classes, but there's not time to just play. She's in kindermusik and tomorrow she starts a gym class. She's in Children's Church. Sunday something happened that is an excellent example of why I do not want her in p.s.- she was in class and a new boy was there. They were in the kitchen area, with her cleaning up because they were told to. The boy continuously tore the dishes back out and shoved them at her. I had to push my way in there and get beside her to make him stop. The parents dashed in behind me and grabbed him, so they knew what he was doing,too. Jeannie saw this as the boy playing with her, she didn't realize it was mean. She'll be completely walked all over in school. Surprisingly, I'm finding it not easy to fit in with the moms at some of the new classes she's been to. At swimming this past summer, not once did the moms talk to me or the other new mom there. They behaved like they were an exclusive club or something! Is that behavior typical? It's pretty juvenile if you ask me.
Becky, Don't be surprised if you keep having little instances happen that remind you of why you are homeschooling. I think that when the Lord wants you to do something He puts things into our daily lives that make us reaffirm His will. Children often want the "greener grass" on the other side of the fence, but too much too soon and they founder! Also, I've found that I got the same kinda response from moms when they knew I was a Jesus Freak.....whether or not I was homeschooling hasn't mattered.....well, I can't say that....to a few of them that just defined me as even more of a Jesus Freak, I guess.
I couldn't even speak of my faith- they wouldn't talk to me!! When Jeanne first stared swimming I tried to ask some questions about the class, to start a conversation. I would get one syllable answers, maybe a little more depending on what I asked, but you'd think I was asking for tissue samples! Another mom was there and she got the same treatment. We were the oldest there( I'm 39 and she's older than me.), and we were the only ones not pregnant!! Still, the other moms even sat on a separate bench than us, and when I needed to get by to go to the service desk they would not move over to let me out. It was middle school-ish behavior. It makes me apprehensive when I put her in new things, and that really makes me mad at myself. I also understand now where the kids get it from and I think it's a shame. One of the Kindermusik moms is like that, but they have money... Geeze, is there a way to tell who else is too broke to pay attention, so I congregate with the right crowd?!? :wink: :lol:
Becky ... I was :shock: when I read the words "I couldn't talk about my faith ..." What comes to mind is the fact that we tend to navigate toward people who are like-minded because the yoking is so much easier. No wonder the Bible cautions against becoming "unevenly yoked." That's just the thing ... if you feel the need to keep quiet about your faith, or if you're avoided because of home schooling or for whatever the reason, then there is an uneven yoking. Standing out as different takes great courage ... otherwise one would have to continuously compromise their faith to "fit in." As for Jeannie's thoughts on going to ps, you must decide what is the priority for your family. Is it the friends you choose, or the faith you profess. What factors most predominantly in your daily life? Which will be compromised if the other took precedence? Jeannie is not likely to see, yet, that it's a VERY tough road to walk by faith when others don't. You know the necessary steps to yield a heart of faith, but she doesn't ... yet. Just some thoughts. Kathe
Kathe, you're reading that all the wrong way! :lol: They were snobs!!! Those girls wouldn't even look in my direction as they answered ( if you want to call it that) my few questions. They treated the other new mom the same way. They were young, maybe in their mid twenties, and they were all pregnant!! Remind me not to drink THEIR water!! I wasn't exactly trying to evangelize, but if I was, I wouldn't get far. They just plain acted like I and the other mom wasn't there. They behaved just like I said- a middle school, girls clique(sp?). I don't care if they do or do not like it that I homeschool, and if they have an issue with us as a Christian, well, that's between them and the Lord, I think. Isn't it near the end of Romans 12 where there's a verse about revenge being the Lord's? My Father will handle it! I asked if this was typical behavior, because Jeannie has only been in a few things, and I know some parents are like that. At our school here, the rec council has baseball practice after school. Any time we 'dare' go to the totlot during practice we get dirty looks, and the parents will not step in if their kids are not playing fairly. It's as though we don't belong there during 'their' time. :roll:
Actually, I don't think I read it wrong at all !!! No one should have to be treated that way, for whatever the reason ... whether it's because they are snobs, or because you are Christian, or because you hs. It doesn't matter. I said you shouldn't have to feel like you couldn't mention your faith, only to highlight the apparent gulf between you and them. If their social calibre is THAT low that they snub you, I don't see why you'd continue to return. I realize it's for Jeannie, but it sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth. Anyway, just my thoughts. Kathe
I assumed their kids had been together in that class awhile, and they just didn't want outsiders to come in. I think there were five or six of them, so they were about a full class unto themselves. We missed registration this time, so we're not there anymore until October. My opinion is, phooey on them. Like you said, it's for Jeannie and the attitude of some young girls doesn't bother me. They're the middle-schoolers, not me. Think about it- why should I let their attitude make me keep Jeanne away? We're paying just like they are, so why should she be left out of a lifesaving class? We went to a puppet theatre class at the Y last year, I think, and ran into the same thing. There, the teacher knew all these women, four of them, and they were all friends. Jeannie and I were outsiders. The moms talked, cut the teacher off to talk to her, and puppets were never brought out!! One week the teacher played a tape of crickets and this one mom stops her and yells 'Is that a REAL cricket?!' Another time class was held up because the teacher and moms were discussing what to wear to a Halloween party a mutual friend was having.The kids were always hard to settle because of that type of baloney from grown mothers. We never went back after the second class. If they offer it again we might go, but this time I'm going to speak up if the ridiculous behavior starts.
I know I'm a little late jumping in here but I think that really it is a decision that only you and your dd can make. Does your state allow you to withdrawl a child during the year? Maybe let her check it out and after a month or two pull her back out. Just an idea. DD wants to go to Kindergarten but only because she spent the summer with grandpa who kept telling her that she was going to school this year. (Partially our own fault because grandpa doesn't know that the kids are homeschooled, kind of forgot to mention it to him :lol I totally know what you mean about people at classes and groups shying away from you. We started in a group a month ago and it seems very, what's the word, clickey. Like they don't know you so why should they bother with you. I'm finally starting to talk to a couple of ladies but the majority of them I couldn't even tell you their names or whose kids are theirs. I've gotten to the point that the whole reason I go is for the kids. I'm totally not getting anything out of it but at least the kids have plenty of other kids to play with and some classes that I can not offer. I wish you luck with your decision.
I have been there! There is a park near our house that I take my children to in the fall and winter, as we live in Arizona. When we got there, there were three moms chatting and a group of maybe 6 kids under 6 on their own. When my son tried to go on the slide, the kids started calling him names, and one even went to kick him. I watched for a minute, until my son turned around and started crying. My heart broke! I walked right up, took his hand and the moms were still chatting. This was with the mothers standing right there! I threw a fit. I yelled at the moms. I told them their children were ganging up on my son and toddler daughter! What kind of parents were they to stand there chatting while their kids did this! What kind of parents had bullies at this age! They did not know what to say! I never saw a group dispatch so fast in my life. They sent the kids over to apologize and ask my son to play. I told the kids sorry, but we are leaving and don't want to be around mean people loud enough for the moms to hear. The next time I went there they were there. I walked by them and asked if they were going to watch their children today or should I have brought bodyguards.
Momnaz, you got guts!! But, that's what it takes sometimes, because these women act oblivious. I have started to speak up somewhat, and I will gauge each situation we come to, to see what's needed. I ran into the clique thing again, today. Jeannie joined a gym class. I was out in the hall with the other moms, who of course knew each other. I and one other mom was new, then there was a dad that I think was new. Those women ignored me and the other mom, but they talked to the handsome daddy! It'scomical, really, that supposed adults would act like that. We're all there for the same thing, we all pay the same fee, so what's up?!
